Grinchy Christmas?

My family was added to the family tree the year my husband was deployed. We did not need the help, and if asked I never would have allowed my name to be added. My concern now is whether the people who are on the Angle tree really need help, or if they are people like my family, who are doing fine, but who someone felt sorry for. That is why I focus on more local things now, now pump up the kids which was a drive for Alaskan foster care teenagers, or donating food and clothing items to the homeless shelters, to people who really truly do need it most.

Here is the deal.. There are always going to be a few, a very teeny tiny few that take advantage and then there will be the people that are already pretty distrustful who will jump onto the bad stories instead of looking and listening for the good stories about charities, Angel trees and other good deeds that really are giving a helping hand up. .

I say give from the heart. Be happy and realize how fortunate you are to be able to help others.

If you do not trust others, then volunteer and make sure it is run the way you think it should be run. Speak with the directors call the Better Business Bureau, but please keep the spirit of giving to those that really believe people are over all good at heart.

No excuses.. There are tons of people that have children work full time AND volunteer.. They make it their priority.

Our daughters elementary school adopted an Orphanage of all girls in Mexico. We found this Orphanage through a Parent at the school. Her Parents were missionaries and were helping to build this Orphanage even larger.

We asked for sizes for each girl.. Shoes, undergarments, jackets, etc.. and then what the girls were interested in. We also sent toys, personal hygiene items, and food. There were parents at the school that wanted Proof that his was all going to these girls.

I was pretty appalled, I mean these people were going to deliver all of this stuff on their own time with their vehicles and make sure it all got there by Christmas.. The Texas Mexico border is tough to get through with all of this stuff.

And so we just told the people that did not trust that these items would be delivered, to just not participate. Maybe they should give to a charity they were more familiar with. We could only trust that these people were going to actually follow through..

In March that following Spring.. The couple that delivered all of these items came back with thank you notes and a video of these girls and the Catholic Sisters that run the orphanage.

As we watched this video we were weeping seeingt the excitement, gratitude and the very humble situation these girls were living in. This video was shown to the entire Campus at our PTA meeting at the Staff meeting..

The next year we were able to send a washing machine! Rugs, and money to be given to them to use as was needed, along with fulfilling the basic needs for each child there.

I do not keep negative people around me. I cannot complain unless I have actually tried to make a difference or an impact myself. I have refused to model this negative behavior around our daughter and have taught her to also give from her heart and just do her best to help.

Giving and volunteering are not a competition.. It is personal and private.
We give because we want to. Not out of obligation.

I'll just share this. Technically, we would qualify for these programs...by FAR...because we are considered WAY below the poverty level. However, I scrimp and save for Christmas, and our parents (and an uncle) are VERY generous gift givers...so our tree is loaded every year with presents.

So, do I go try to get "more" just because I can? NOOO!!!! We pack up stuff every year before Christmas to give away. But there are probably other people in our situation...qualify related to income, but their children have so much because of family.

On the flip side, a girlfriend of mine, single mother of two daughters, can barely afford what they NEED, let alone what they want. She has to use these programs just to make sure her children get something...and it's never really anything they really want...but she does it just so they have a gift or two. It's good to keep people like that in mind...this woman works very hard, but just can't make ends meet.

I'll give you a different story, Mom. Years ago my son was working with a hospital group doing extensive speech therapy and OT. They invited us to the hospital's Christmas party given for the patients and their families. To my embarrassment, my children were given gifts that were donated by church groups. We were not needy, but a lot of the kids were. When we got home, I talked to my children about this, and though I am sure my younger son did not understand (he was only 3), I gave the gifts to another charitable cause for needy kids.

Now, I can just imagine that some people would have found fault with my family and any other families there who were not needy receiving these gifts. That doesn't mean that it was an unworthy cause. The hospital wanted to give gifts and they were able to get churches to help out.

It is a great reminder to me of how hearts are in the right place, and that's what is important.

Dawn

Some a scams, some are not. Was offered to let my kids be on an angel tree this year and we are making 95,000 before taxes. I get that Hawaii has a high cost of living, but that is in no way struggling! And they still offered after I told them the finachal situation, so yes I do question it. I didn't sign up, but I do know others that did and they were in out tax bracket...

This is why I like to donate places that really are helping, like the Ronald McDonald house/fisher house, food panties and the like. I donate still good condition kids clothing to my childrens schools and to church. Baby things to a pregnancy crisis center and the like. I also feel that giving is an all year thing, not a once a year thing.

I, like you, have always felt very good about giving through these types of charities. My extended family has benefited in the past when they were going through very tough financial times through Christmas charities that allowed their children to get presents.

I think we could all demonstrate the "Christmas spirit" by showing more generosity and less judgment and skepticism.

When the wishes are in the price range of the things my own kids wish for and we can afford then I would be happier about it. I was shocked to open the sealed wish list and find $40 items. and items that i would not buy for my own children, play guns. That is what is upsetting me about all of this. I feel guilty for considering NOT honoring a childs christmas wish, but on the other hand i had expected the wishes to be realistic.

This year I was preparing to get take an angel off the tree, when another opportunity presented itself. My heart tugged at me to help. I will not spend one moment second guessing that desire to help or judging her fitness to recieve help.

Charity is for the giver, not the reciever. You give with a pure heart and let it go. You can not control where it really goes or to whom. We are in no position to judge who is worthy or not. That's above our paygrade. Once you've given from your heart, the benefit is your to keep. It's out of your hands. You did your part.

I think there are only positives in giving to the angel tree/salvation army etc. I have been greatly blessed by being able to bless others in this way. If people are feeling scammed etc or negative about it, they most likely aren't giving for the right reasons--- to give from your heart. I love it and do it as much as I can.

M

Our community used to do something they created called "Project Share" ... for several weeks, there were red barrels in churches and stores.... people donated food and toys.

Families applied through the local schools to receive baskets...

the food baskets were packed according to family sizes... it was all done in a big church... for a week before the packing, all the presents were wrapped and put in appropriate boxes divvied up by age/sex. Specific requests were usually not done... just wasn't feasible...

The night before delivery, all the food baskets were packed... it was a lot of fun to do all that work the week before... we usually wrapped packages for several evenings, and helped pack the food baskets that Friday night.

Friday night we also put the presents in the boxes.... we picked up the appropriate age/sex that was on the intake sheet, and put it in that family's box.

That Saturday morning, we delivered all the boxes.... it was great fun! The families usually lived in the very poor areas of town... they sure weren't scamming anyone. (It was all screened by the schools, usually went to low-income people). Sometimes there were 2 families living in one small house....

That program was eventually combined with the "Brown Santa" program (run by the Sheriff's department), so families weren't getting two Christmas boxes.

I do miss helping with that event, though.

I have done this every year and have never felt scammed. I usually don't pick a teenager bc they want things that are too expensive. But come one, why would there be a scam for a toy lego and a warm blanket or child's socks? These things have to be going to someone needy. You can find out who is in charge of the angel tree and ask them the details if you are worried. The one we participated in this year was done by our local YMCA. They had 2 needy families they "adopted" and the tags on the tree were for specific things like gift cards for groceries, a size 4 boys winter coat, specific toys, etc. I certainly don't feel like it is a scam. I have never gotten a thank you note bc it is anonymous and I don't feel like I need one. Those families don't want to feel weird about it...it should be anonymous!

I have watched my feelings over this issue shift around. I've donated a lot some years; some years I can't donate to anyone; other years I find another way.

I have reconciled my feelings over this one to finding people who I know who could use a treat, and making sure they get it.

This year's project has been my choice book reading time shelf in class, and I have a feeling it will be for some time. The people with needs that I know are right under my nose, and their need isn't necessarily financial. They need to get their fluency up and their vocabulary broader; they need to lose the mindset, "I hate to read." I have seen incredible gains this year.

Studies now show that to get a strong reading habit established, there must be at least 100 books in one's household. Some literacy programs are now collected for one family at a time to try to make the most effective impact.

With 36 kids in five classes a day, the typical teacher will need a lot more choice reading titles than 100!

If any of you are looking for a good cause that will be used well, talk to your child's teacher, even if he or she is in HS. If the teacher has a choice time or SSR program, offer to purchase some books for the classroom shelf. Find out what the current high interest titles are from the teacher, your child, or a librarian, and make a donation in your child's name. And believe me, if the novel is first read by folks at home and then donated, the gift will still be appreciated.

Some current titles that are a hit in my room right now:
Looking for Alaska--by John Green
An Abundance of Katherines--John Green
The Lightning Thief series and the new series by Rick Riordan
The Help
Water for Elephants
The Dead Zone (zombie football players!) (Or is it called Play Dead?)
The All-American Girl by Meg Cabot
The Hunger Games trilogy

And here's one that's a hit with my daughter:
The Adventures of Tintin

I have been so pleased with the results this year. I wish this for every classroom.

The giver is the one who is thankful.

I always gave artists supplies and posters of famous movie stars. I don't know if the kids liked them or felt gifted. One year I gave a set of tools and a kit to build a small set of drawers with. The person who took it to the middle school boy said he was ecstatic since he'd never received anything like it before.

I've never felt scammed because I'm choosy about where and how I donate. According to some on the other post -I guess that (and the fact I refuse to buy video games -especially when $50 on one silly game buys several outfits at Walmart or Target) makes me "Grinchy" but I think it just makes me smart!

My family and I always adopt at least two or three children to provide for at Christmas. I love doing it, and I love the fact that my boys are getting old enough to finally "get it" -about helping others and how good it feels to give as well as receive. For years we've adopted kids from a local preschool with a very poor population. A neighbor has organized the effort. For some reason they didn't do that this year, but we adopted some Salvation Army Angel Tree kids and have participated in several Toys for Tots drives through work and my sons' schools -as well as a winter coat drive through my youngest son's preschool. I've certainly never felt ripped off or anything but good about our gifts!