Guilty About Asking for Child Support

Go for the child support. It will actually make things easier, as you will have a set amount every month and wont have to beg for money for the baby whenever you need it.

whats the deal breaker?? your child going hungry,without clothes,medical help??..your not with the guy anymore..this is about the childs best interest an welfare-not you 2 and your issues..put your childs needs front an center..plain an simple...GUILTY FOR WHAT??...really you need to quit giving him so much control in your life-

No - it is his responsiblity to financially provide for his child. If providing for his child is a deal breaker - then you don't need him. As far as paying now - he knows if you get child support through the courts, he will never not be able to pay. He will be made to pay it and they will base it off his salary. I think you need to get it through the courts for your protection and your child's protection.

There isn't anything to feel guilty about. As I responded in your previous post, this man needs to accept ALL of his parental responsibility. Go to a third party (the courts, a mediator, counselor, etc.) to negotiate what is best for your child, you and him. Being a single mom is hard enough, why make it harder on yourself? Get an agreement in writing. It will be best in the long run.

If he is providing the child support without a court order, I don't think you need to "make it official". If he isn't, then you should ask for it. If he is not willing to give you child support willingly, then you need to go through the court. If it is a deal breaker then you may be better off.

I would ask for it. Explain to him that its not a dig at him in any way, it has nothing to do with trust. It does protect the support for your son. Once you go through the ropes to obtain court ordered child support the ruling is there and you have advocates there to help you and your son, you don't have to rely on him either feeling guilty or his desire to be generous. Its not as though the order can't be dissolved once you are living together again or married should that happen.

When you make a choice to bring a child into this world, it is your (both mother and father) responsibility to provide for that child. He needs to be giving you money to support his child. You can choose to make arrangements either between the 2 of you, or by going through the court system. Since he has a history of contributing very little financially, the chances are he will continue to behave in the same manner. Therefore, your best choice would be to seek child support through the court system.

Is he listed on the birth certificate as the father? I don't know how it works in Nebraska but I think in my state it goes through the county.

Honestly, him not being willing to commit to his financial responsibility would be a deal breaker for me. It takes 2 to make a child. I am a huge believer in fathers' rights--but along with rights come responsibilities. His unwillingness to put it on paper makes me doubt if he will stick to any non-binding commitment, and I really encourage you to make it official in whatever way works best in your state.

You're not doing anything wrong. You're simply trying to provide for your son. In other words, being a good mother.

Since you brought up child support to him, it probably has him scared. No man wants to have child support taken out of their checks. So they would rather pay with out a court order than with a one. I would talk to him about the amout of support needed to help with the baby's expenses. Put together a budget and discuss it with him. Now, I am of the opinion that both parties are responsible for the financial care of the child. So, it's 50/50.

If you are not receiving any government assistance like WIC or food stamps than I am sure your expenses are extremely high for just you alone. If you are spending 200 a week on milk, pampers, clothing and anything else the baby needs than that should be divided in half. Come up with a budget that you both agree to. Let him know that when you start school and find a job day care expenses will then be included and he will need to pay his half of that as well.

I hope things work out for you.

Just based on what you have said about him, I would go for child support. He knows that if you go for child support, he will have to pay a lot more than he would be otherwise. He's a little slow at stepping up to his financial responsibilities. Sure, it's nice that he is finally wanting to help you but he should have been helping all along. I wouldn't trust that he will always be there; his sudden interest in helping definitely has an ulterior motive to it.

I know I'm being a skeptic but you have to protect yourself and your baby.

Good luck and congrats on your baby!

Don't feel guilty. Both of you have a responsiblity to support this child and that takes money. Child support is most of the time 25% of his pay depending on custody and how medical is set up.
I would look on line to see if your county has a support calulator and that will give you a rough idea on what he should be paying.
If it was me I would try and work it out between each other but if you think it could get nasty or he will try and pay as little as possible I would go through the courts.
If it done through thw courts if will be set up to be taken from his checks and automaticly give you cost of living increasses. At least that is how it is done here in MN.
Good luck this can be a touchy subject. Also if you do all move back into gether support stops. At one time my husbands ex lived with us (long stupid story) but as soon as child support found out the garishment stopped and it automacticly started right back once she moved out.

if i were you, i would ask for it anyway. not from HIM, but just go to the proper officials and do it that way. if its a deal breaker, how much could he POSSIBLY love you? seriously? any man who truly loves a woman would do what hes supposed to do, grow a pair of testicles, and take care of his family. this guy apparently hasnt wanted to do that, so regardless of if hes "offering up" the money now, the best bet to safeguard you and your child is to just make sure that you are getting the child support.

he is NOT a manly man thats for sure. this guy is a child himself. you gotta lay down the rules or he will NEVER respect you (in all honesty, if you guys havent known each other that long and already have a SON, he didnt respect you very much to begin with!)...
but anyway. get the child support. if its a deal breaker, at least you are taken care of and you dont have to fight for it later.

i might sound conservative and stuff, but this is why sex is NEVER a good idea unless you are married. it clouds your vision of what you should do, and where your relationship really stands. im sorry you have to go through this. good luck to you.

Because he's not daft and he knows full well buying a few packs of diapers and an outfit or two won't add up to what child support would be. I'm sorry but I'd go get it! It has nothing to do with him and you. It is for your child. Your child deserves to be taken care of by mom and dad. Like they always say if you don't want the responsibility of a child don't do the deed!

Go file for child support. It has nothing to do with you. That is your child's in the first place and it will give them a better quality of life.

Not to mention shame on him for just now wanting to assist in her for you!

Go get your child support and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

No, you should not feel guilty. Child support is in the best interest of your child. He may think that you should understand he is responsible and is willing to help out, but it shouldn't be up to you to ask him for it and you can't predict how he will act in the future. He is the father and needs to be helping, period. A court order would protect him as well. It would spell out the amount of money expected and protect his right to see the child. He may not see it that way yet, but it is really in the best interest of all parties (especially the child) to have the court order addressing both support and visitation.

I think it's only fair to you and your child that the child's father assists with financial support. This is his child too and it isn't right that one parent should have the entire financial 'burden' (for lack of a better word) of the child. It sounds like you're very financially savy and could very easily manage financially on your own, but that's not the point here. He is the father and it's duty to provide for this child, legally. If you don't need the money, put it in a college savings account or use it to work less and spend more time with your child. Good luck to you!