Hair Pulling....please Help!

Good link from baby center.

Also, keep in mind that "impulse control" is NOT fully developed in a child this age. FULL impulse control is not even "fully" developed until about 3+ years old.

Right now at this age, everything is sort of "reactive." Toddlers are "reactors" and cause and effect. This is how they learn, experiment, express curiosity, "control", independence etc. yada-yada-yada.

Okay so, yes, sure, the tips via Baby Center ARE great... because kids learn by REPETITION and CONSISTENCY. But remember, there will be LOTS of repetition as you "teach" him not to pull hair or other things. You will feel like a broken-record. But, keep instilling things in him that are important to you and him.

In time, a child will learn and get better about their reactions and impulses. BUT, it won't always be perfect, they won't always do it correctly, they won't always listen, they won't always understand perfectly, they won't all the time.

But, give him credit for when he IS "trying his best." For some kids, they think they have to do something "perfectly"... and so, it's a lot to do, and so they just don't. So, at least with our kids, we emphasize "doing your best..." instead of doing it "perfectly." That way the child will see that something IS ATTAINABLE.

And likewise, always keep things age-appropriate, AND your expectations "of" him age-appropriate.

To me, "time-out" at this age and then expecting him to act accordingly will not work, due to his age and cognitive "maturity" at this age.

Its also a phase... which, who knows how long phases last... each child is different.

Some kids even push, bite, hit. But your son pulls-hair. Slow and steady, and consistent... is what I would suggest as far at modeling for him and "teaching" him... in time.

Good luck,
Susan

We went through this with my son...read the link below...helped us.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_hair-pulling_11553.bc

I have a daughter who is 19 month old too. She's REALLY good at ignoring me, so the ONLY thing that works for her (right now) is when I tell her that I am going to take something away from her (like her binky) She responds very well to this threat ONLY because I follow through(with meltdowns). I have taken things away from her MANY times , so, she knows I mean business. 9 times out of 10 she will stop doing whatever it is she is not supposed to be doing.
It makes me feel like I SOME kind of control!!!! LOL
Anyway, tell him the next time he pulls hair, you will take away something he loves. He knows what he is doing when he pulls, so he should understand what you are telling him. You have to be consistent, and always follow through with your threats. My daughter is obsessed with my hair. She loves to play with it and rub it on her face. Sometimes she gets carried away and will actually pull it. I just tell her to "stop pulling mommies hair or I will take it away" She stops, because she knows I will do it....
So, like I said, it works with my daughter.......again, always follow through with disciplining
Good luck!

I know a lot won't agree with me, but i would use the same principle that broke my son of biting. Everytime he pulls someones hair, just pull his hair. Be sure it's not too hard but hard enough that he responds with ouch etc.

Sandy

It may be attention grabbing behavior. From now on, when he pulls someone's hair, gentlely move his hand away and say something like "Quiet hands," or "We don't pull hair," but don't look at him when you do this, and redirect his attention to another toy or activity. Make this entire exchange as neutral and non-engaging as possible. If he sees that what he's doing is causing you to have a shocked reaction or that your attention is focused on him, then he may think it is all just a fun game and a fantastic way to get mom's attention.

I'm currently reading "Positive Discipline" by Dr Jane Nelson and am loving this book. It clearly distinguishes between discipline and punishment and highly recommends to avoid instilling pain and shame in child rearing. How can you teach your child to "not hit" by hitting them, for example? It addresses the hair pulling problem which is apparently very common (my son does the same thing as yours). I'm trying to do what others have suggested here... reminding him over and over (and over again) to "be gentle," showing him what I mean (actions speak louder than words) and praising him very enthusiastically when he does what I want since these little guys love to please. Hope this helps and best of luck!