M.K.
I think I inherited this very same issue from my Mom :)
try using a soft scrub on your hands...in the shower.
like the apricot one from st ives.
~ thought being if you would use it on your face it is gentle enough for your hands.
then use your lotion and let it soak in for a little while - maybe only once a day or just before bed to heal. I would have suggested the gloves - but you already mentioned not so much..
I also use some A&D type oinment on the already cut/bleeding spots and then use lotion. and more lotion and more lotion.. almost everytime you wash.
when you do have just a few extra moments just use reg vaseline (not the lotion, but the petroleum jelly). and rub it in and in and in... until you have to move on to your next task and wipe it off.. but it will help in the long run.
Also.. try 'glue' bandages for the spots that do crack & around the nails... it seems to help them heal faster because they are not being reopened constantly with the water.
lastly.. hee hee... I use the babies nighttime teething gel on the cracks that are split open and take forever to heal and just throb sometimes.
You might also try the dishwashing gloves for few weeks.
good luck :)
-marg