One of my friends SIL's is known for being a bully, and frankly shes just quite scary. She had ALWAYS been super nice to me though. It seemed at first her and I had a lot in common, until her true colors came out to me. Pretty much everything people warned me about came true.
She lives by me, she knows tons of people I know. Our daughters are the same age and go to the same school. I gave her the benefit of a doubt.
But one weekend, we hooked up, at a party of hers with all of her friends. I thought it was a pretty good time until Monday morning I saw on facebook they were bashing me left and right.
Her friend Christi quoted me as a "Disgusting stupid individual." Cute huh?
When I found out about this, lets just say it wasnt pretty. :) My "friend" and I made ammends, I guess, I still dont trust her as far as I can throw her, but hey, it is what it is. We basically agreed and they are going to be running into to each other often so we need to get along. Agreed.
She is soooooo nice to me, even though I know she probably doesnt even like me, which is fine because I dont have to deal with her much.
But her friend, the nasty evil one that knows nothing about me, I could care less about. I dont even know her, she said horrible things about it me, and I get a friend request on facebook from her the oher day. No message, no nothing. A friend request.
Can someone explain to me why? I thinking she just wants to get more material for her spewage of the mouth.
Im not losing any sleep over this, but its hard to trust people like that. Of course I just ignored it, but this was over a year ago. What is she doing?
The gathering was almost a year ago, this was the first and last time I have ever seen this person. She sent me a friend request the other day.
LOL Cheryl! I love you!
Kristina, Im good. Thank you though.
Just keep taking the high road, and don't let them drag you down to their level.
You're doing great! :)
Do not friend her. Do not play her sick game. Just be cordial when you have to be in the same room. Never trust her.
Molly, you're so sweet. But not EVERYone else is.
Just ignore it all.
You're too gorgeous, genuine, and just all around pleasant for your own good sometimes.
Shake it off.
And Molly, you don't HAVE to trust everyone, you really don't.
:)
Deny the request. It drives people like her insane! :)
Molly,
Usually when people are nice to your face and nasty behind your back it's because they are jealous, pathetic and need to get a life!
You don't have to "do" anything but be yourself. People can like you or not (for whatever reasons).
I would have ignored the friend request too!
There's letting "it is what it is" just be and then there is asking for nastiness. From what you already know, you did the right thing by ignoring her.
This is why I don't have facebook. My wife does, but I do not.
These people are not friends. don't friend them and don't give them the time of day. They will use anything you say against you.
Don't give them free rent in your life or in your head. Delete them both.
You can get a facebook friend request or make one by accident. All you have to do is click the wrong tab. Forget about it.
Good luck to you and yours.
Ignore it and block her permanently. She just wants more fodder for her sick perversion of cutting people down. Did these people bash you outright on their facebook wall? Some people never grow up and act like mature adults.
Molly,
I'm with Cheryl on this one...
If my gut says "not a friend"...i listen. And if sure sounds like yours in telling you they aren't. This is why I don't have many women "friends/acquaintances"...we (collectively not me and you) are way to bitchy and mean to be friends with each other.
Question: Are you saying that she requested to be your friend over a year ago or that you went to the gathering a year ago?
It sounds like this maybe the normal for that group and so it would be normal for her to ask to be a friend on FB and than talk about all the pictures and posting that she see on your page.
I believe birds of a feather flock together!
ADDED: I wonder if the SIL put her up to it because you have limited your time with the SIL. We woman can be messy when our minds are Idle!
I wouldn't bother with either of these people. With friends like that who needs enemies?
Ugh.... I have someone in my life like that. I finally found out the best way to avoid the drama was to write them out the best I can.
I'm sure she was more than likely adding you to snoop in on your business. I would ignore it and possibly even block her so that she can't see anything from you.
You'd think by the time we grow up, get married, have goals in life, that this childish stuff would end. They're over-grown mean girls, who obviously don't have enough good stuff going on in their lives, so they get their strokes by piling on people who really do have their stuff together.
Definitely don't friend them. That would be like letting the vampire in. You don't need them meddling and having free-range to bad mouth you to those you DO care about.
Anyway, distance and forget them. They sound like miserable losers without much going on. Stay on with this crowd too long, and the devils will work on messing up your relationship with your husband and their kids will be terrorizing your kids at school next. Just distance while you can.
Reverting back to highschool - another reason to stay away from Facebook. Oh and the term "hooked up" is probably not your best choice seeing that "hooking up" typically means we had causal sex. You may want to say we met up at a party.
Ya know what I've noticed as I've gotten OLDER! That women get more ridiculous w/ their drama and meanness! I thought it was bad in HS, but it was NOTHING compared to what I have seen over the last couple of years!
I would "ignore" said friend request! Another thing I have learned over the time I have had a fb...I don't NEED to be "friends" w/ every person I see on the dang street! In fact, not long ago, I cleaned out my fb (about 65 ppl) and know I could do it again...if someone has never commented or talked to me, then they do not need to know my business! Their are some exceptions to this (I do have some family that go on regularly, but never write anything, I am ok w/ that...but if I knew someone when I was 10 and really don't know them now...um...why are they in my fb?? haha)
And that nastiness about the party...nice! Unfortunately, that's where peoples true colors come out! I had something similar happen to me...a group of people I truly cared about, trusted, respected and spent a LOT of time w/ as families, turned out not to be who I thought they were at all...not only did I have to delete them, but block them...I did not even want to see their names! Very hard, since I see these people I considered "friends" on a regular basis w/ all the sports my kids do. :(
You sound like a strong person, Molly! If you were my friend, I would say you are doing exactly all the right things...being a grown up, ignoring the nasty behavior and walking away! Good for you!
Ignore and block.
I have seen some people who use their "friend" numbers as a sort of status symbol. "Hey! I have 500 people on my friend list!" Really. Whoopee. My guess is, you live in the same city, you have a "friend" in common (I'm guessing you a fb friends w/ the original 'cat' - the friend's SIL?), so you popped up on her suggested "People you may know" list. So, she clicked the "send request" button. She's trying to pad her list, and it looks good and popular to get a new "Christi added a new friend!" status update, so she's "shopping."
And, I'm sorry, but I'm guessing, since you haven't seen her in a year, and that if she is the sort of person who makes hateful comments like this, she probably only has a hazy memory of meeting you. I doubt she is singling you out for "spewage," because I suspect that sort of person does it to so many people, that it's become somewhat automatic to LOOK for faults in everyone she meets, and she's never out of material.
Ignore and block. You don't want to be someone's padding, to make them feel good about how big their "friend" list is on facebook. Because, I'll bet that's what you mean to this woman.
Incidentally, I'd unfriend the other woman, too. I don't have room in my life for people who are that emotionally draining, and you know what? It feels good to drop them. You have to be civil in person, but why hold on to her in cyberspace, too?
