so i had a baby on august 26th 2009 which almost makes him 3 month old. i also had him by c-section. now i dont know if this will sound weird but i am always telling my husband i already want another baby. i dont know if it is the fact that i rushed my pregnacy and the delivery part or what but its so weird i have this feeling inside me that misses being pregnant. well of course my husband is like no babys for a while cause we just had one. but when i came home from the hospital i felt like i wanted to stay there cause of the attention or something i dont know, maybe its just me but have any other moms felt this way or understand what i am talking about???
I think it's normal. It's probably from missing the attention and the reality kicking in that you have a new bundle to take care of.
Hi, A.. I understand what you're talking about. It's not weird. It's true that while we're pregnant, we get lots of attention and people fuss over us, and then when we give birth, we get a little more attention, but then ppl fuss over the baby more and seem like they're forgetting all about the new mom. Then they all go home and go back to their own lives, leaving us with the diapers.
It is kind of like the let down after the honeymoon, when your life goes back to normal after the big party. It's normal to feel some let down after all the excitement and pampering. However, you might be starting to feel some post-partum depression, and you need to watch that because it can get out of control, and make bad decisions.
Sweetie, it would not be good for your body or your mind or spirit to try to get pregnant right now. Your body doesn't fully recover from childbirth for at least 6 months; it's longer than that for a C-section.
If you're feeling sort of abandoned and lonely, try telling a close female friend or relative (your mom?). She will probably understand and help you by giving you more attention until you get through this time. Please do the right thing for you and your baby and your family -- let yourself heal and bond with this child for many months before trying to make another.
I hope everything turns out OK and you feel truly blessed with this sweet baby!
Peace,
Syl
It is totally normal to miss being pregnant. I missed it with both of mine. There will be more babies if it's God's will. For now...enjoy your new bundle of joy. Maybe that feeling never really goes away. Being pregnant is the most special time ever!
God Bless!
Hi A.!! I have children who are 3, 2, and 1, and am expecting another (my last!) in about 3-4 more weeks. I have felt that way after each pregnancy too, and the feelings can be very overpowering, but it doesn't last forever. The ache will subside. It's such a miracle to feel that baby inside of you and to know that you and the baby share such a special bond and are always together. It's so easy to take care of a fetus (compared to a newborn). I think as much as we long to meet our child, it can be a bit jarring to go from pregnancy to having a newborn. As time passes, you will feel better about it, but it takes some time to adjust.
My first time was definitely the hardest. Just keep enjoying your baby, and make sure to do things for you. Some things that keep me sane are weekly playgroup and women's Bible study, as well as exercising 2-4 times per week. Also, it's important to spend time with your husband (alone) so you feel like a wife and not just "mommy." (And your husband really needs this time too!)
Best wishes, and I'm sure you will have more babies in the future if that's what you and your husband desire!
Yes! And your mommy hormones are going a little crazy right now it will pass trust me. I got the same feelings with both my children. My youngest is 2 and we decided that 2 healthy children was plenty so hubby had a vasectomy. Man you talk about hormones going crazy then! Holy cow, I thought we made a mistake, how much for a reversal yadda yadda. Ultimately God made us to be able to procreate and those hormones want us to do it NOW regardless of circumstances. Be easy on yourself, love your kiddo and enjoy every minute you get with your child. Part of what makes us want another right away I think is because how darn fast they grow, before you know it they're 2 and no longer want to be snuggled and held all the time everything is "I do it myself" which is fantastic cause that means we are doing our jobs right but it still hurts just a little and makes us long for another to snuggle :)
A. this is totally normal! You miss the feel of being pregnant that closeness with your baby that noone else can get. I understand. Before having kids i said I wanted 2. After having my son I upped it to 5. I have 3 my husband is DONE and wants a vesectomy, i say no, i'm not ready for something permanent even though I don't really want more kids right now I still want them you know!
My mother in law was the same way (my husband is the oldest of 10 kids). She had 5 in 5 years and when my husband was 16 started over again with another 5 in 5 years... so my son has an aunt and uncle younger then him. One who is on 16 days older then him and 2 aunts that are under 3 years older. She loved being pregnant. She felt her healthiest while pregnant and instantly missed that after delivery. Unfortunatly (or fortunately depends on how you look at it) her body started to shut down so she can not have children anymore or it would be a serious risk to her life.
So you may want to listen (at least a little bit) to your husband. He may no alittle about what is good for you.
Hope this helps:)
The day I brought my daughter home from the hospital I felt like she was getting too big already and wanted another baby right away. I later learned that this was my post-pardum depression. I wasn;t depressed just wanted another baby. I had my second when my first was 19mths old and then wished I had been able to spend more time with my first and had waited longer. I felt guilty that she was so young and needed me but I was busy with another baby. Needless to say unexpectedly I had a third baby when my first was 3 years and 1 week old, that was God's plan not ours. I would never advise having children so close because it is tough and they need you so much but no body could have talked me out of my second one. I felt just like you. I couldn't wait until I had the doctors ok to start trying for another one. Enjoy your baby and plan the next one with your husband. God bless you adn your son.
No, your not wierd. I have three kids and I am always a little sad when my pregnancy is over. It's kind of an empty feeling. It will pass, and you will feel better. Enjoy your baby- this part is going to go all too fast also.
The pampering is soooo nice, My youngest is 3month via c-section and have a 3yr. I understand the desire to have another, yet it hit me more just before the first was 2yrs. I was begging my husband to give me another but we waited til after he came home from deployment so i have help and boy did i need it.
Talking to a professional about the feelings, if they are that strong could help too. Your hormones are probably not back to normal.
In the mean time remember babies are alot of work and being pregnant isnt easy. I am just starting to get some sleep and soo thankfull i stop throwing up so i can fully take care of my oldest. If you have another c-section you cant pick up the oldest for 6wks. Very hard to do with a 1yr. They are just starting to walk and still need alot of carring and picking up. Go to jax4kids.com and join a playgroup, you'll get some attention and great friends.
Hi A.,
The attention you and baby get as a brand new parent really is special, isn't it? So far, there hasn't been anything in my life like the time right after our son was born. It is just so exciting. However, if this is the main reason you want to have another one right away I would advise waiting a bit longer. At three months our son was still sleeping most of the time, starting to smile and laugh and being super cute in general. However, for us it got a little tougher when he started teething, not sleeping through the night, got multiple colds, etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that while right now it may seem like a great idea, try to picture having a little guy plus an infant. If you just really want another child for any other reason I'm not trying to stop you at all. Only you and your husband can decide when is the right time to have the next one. I think it is completely natural to miss being pregnant. I used to rub my non-pregnant belly all the time after I gave birth!
A.,
It isn't weird. I have one a little stranger than that, I was literally in labor with my second son when I told my husband that I wanted another one. The nurse had to tell me that we need to get him delivered before we even thought about another child. Needless to say, after that it took two years to convince my husband but low and behold on my sons second birthday literally I got pregnant. It isn't unusual to feel that way. Of course I am done having babies and I am 36, I haven't heard my clock in about a year. My husband is now hearing his biological clock ticking as loud as Mr. Ed counting in his head as he puts it. But yeah, I think it is normal.
Good luck.
S.
Yep- baby fever. I've had it for 3 years now! That's not to say you'll have it forever... but I know (because of our ages and financial issues) that we are done, so I have baby fever a lot.... though I usually snap out of it pretty quickly because all of mine are potty trained and I don't miss the sleepless nights and diaper changes!!
Your responses so far sound good, I just wanted to add that after having a c section you need to wait a year or two (ask your doctor) before getting pregnant so your incision can heal. Otherwise you can have problems possibly with tearing! I've had two c sections, and that is what i was told by my dr. We waited 2 years, and had our second with no issues.
Wow! My baby was born the same day (Congrats) by C-section as well... While I completely do NOT feel like I could handle another kid, I know what you mean about missing being pregnant. No matter how big I got, I felt so beautiful...... it's exciting to feel little kicks in there..... There's this awesome little funny book called "Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a Mom's First Year." There's a little cartoon that shows how as pregnant women we're doted on and get so much attention. Then the after photo shows everybody doting on the baby while the Mom lays haggardly slumped in a chair! It's so true........all the attention is shifted to the baby. LOL! That's great that you already can envision yourself having more babies. At this point I'm thinking one is enough! Our second one won't be 'on purpose!' LOL! :)
great input so far!! I second everything everyone else said.
It is true that only you and your husband know when you're BOTH ready to have another one.
My son's are 7 years apart. (Not on purpose, just how things worked out) After I had my youngest who is going to be 2 on Thursday, I just had this overwhelming maternal feeling...things were soooo great...I missed being pregnant, I loved having a new baby and being a mom to another baby...I loved seeing my other son be such a sweet doting brother. I come from a family of 6 kids, I just knew I wanted to have a big family. Well...precious baby didn't sleep through the night until he was about 7 months old, did not tolerate any of his teething well, and seemed to start "Terrible twos" before he was even 1.
Of course if I would have happened to get pregnant, I would have adjusted and enjoyed it and life would go on but I'm glad I didn't rush into anything and have just let life happen...
Dont worry! That is very natural. You were pregnant for nine months and thats a longtime for your body to get used to something. Plus, when you are pregnant everyone pays attention to YOU. Now, all the attention is focused on the baby, not you......Its hard for the first couple months, but trust me you get used to being "just mom" and thats the best job in the world!!
