Having Two Kids......

Updated on January 31, 2008
S.M. asks from New Windsor, NY
11 answers

I currently have a 17 month old little girl. I am currently pregnant and wanted to know if it is a good idea or a horrible idea to have your kids 2 years apart. I am not nervous but I hear alot of good things. I always wanted to have my kids close together because I always wanted both to experience things together and not understand why one sibling is doing something that way or etc,,,If anyone can give me any advice or visual about what it may seem like when this litte one comes,,that would be helpful

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H.M.

answers from New York on

I predict that you will enjoy the 2-year age difference. Mine are 2 years apart almost to the day, now 5 (boy) and 3 (girl), and the best thing has been watching them interact (started happening more when the youngest was about 1). They both enjoy similar activities and toys and stick together a lot. My main concern was that my oldest would lose a lot of attention, and although some of that was unavoidable, I think what he gained by having a sibling was far more valuable.

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A.K.

answers from New York on

Mrs.S. M,

You will be just fine for I am a single mother with seven children and with God's strenght we are doing just great. And I say this to say if he blessed me with my seven I'm sure he will do the same for you. Plus you have your husband help. So don't worry just trust God for he would not have blessed with the opportunity to have another baby if you didn't trust you.
A. K

C.S.

answers from New York on

My kids are 2 years and 2 weeks apart. I planned it that way. I also wanted them to grow up together. And I wanted to get my baby days done and over with. lol The end of my pregnancy was tough. Just going to the store with a soon to be two year old, was a challenge.

To be honest, the hardest part was being in the hospital. Nobody except my husband and myself every cared for my son. So it was difficult to shuffle him around while my husband was with me in the hospital. And I had a c-section so I was in for 3 full days. When mom came home and the rules went back into place, and then to have a new baby there on top of it, he went a little nutty.

With the birth of my first child the hospital room was party central. I always had visitors and didnt get much rest. With #2 I told everyone (except my husband and son) to stay away from the hospital. :) I knew that I needed my rest and these 3 days were the only days I would have to bond with my new baby ALONE.

With #1, he roomed in. With #2, I utilized the nursery at night. I wanted to get as much rest as possible. By the time I went home, I was refreshed and recharged.

My son ignored the baby for probably the first 3 months. He didnt want to hold her, and it was impossible to get a picture of the two of them together. He wanted nothing to do with her. That made it easier because when I had the baby he was perfectly happy to be anywhere but near us. :) He never tried to hurt her, smother her, bite her. Nothing like that. NOW, she is 9 1/2 months old, and he is rough with her. Things change.

I did have one melt down. My son was hungry and wanting lunch. I was boiling macaroni to make Mac and Cheese. Ally was in her carseat on the floor screaming her head off. Evidentially the four hours I spent on the couch nursing her werent enough. Joey was screaming because he was hungry. And I lost it. I dont think I had postpartum depression, but I think I had postpartum stress. Adding another one to the family is a big change.

And the best advice I can give you is to keep laughing. And enjoy every minute. AND stock up on distracting toys. Anything you can pull out of a cupboard to occupy your older one when you are about to pull your hair out will work.

Congratulations on your new addition! And Best Wishes!

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K.B.

answers from New York on

My boys are exactly 24 mths apart and we planned it this way. My age and wanting the kids fairly close in age. The end of your pregnancy and chasing a toddler is tiring but managable. My concern too was the hospital but my anxiety over this was worthless. He was fine. Look, some days are challenging to say the least, but overall.....do it!! You will never have more fun or get more satisfaction when you see your two little ones interact. Just remember to make your daughter is a "little helper", try and give her some alone time with you everyday. She still needs that attention. My biggest guilt is not giving the attention to #2 that #1 got when he was little. But the bond the kids have together overrides the guiilt. Good luck!

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J.G.

answers from New York on

My kids are 15 months apart. They love each other. I didnt plan it this way, but i am 27yo and got having my kids out of the way early. It is cool. Dont get me wrong, it could get tiring, but if u have help thats great. My husband works alot so its just me basically. I love being a mom anyway. If u have any questions u can ask me. Good Luck! and its not a bad idea they are close in age.

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H.W.

answers from New York on

I have 2 kids-my daughter is 2 my son is 1 & I am pregnant & due any day now with #3. Each of my kids will be roughly 12-15 months apart from each other. Initially when my son was born I tried to create a routine for myself to ease the stress. It worked for a little while however now that they are both toddlers, bringing in #3 is going to be a challenge. For the most part my kids get along well & thankfully both have been fairly easy children since birth. The best advice I can give you is to remember that each child is an individual & that comparing the 2 will not help you. My daughter loved being in a swing & my son absolutely hated it. I don't think its horrible to have your kids close in age-think of it this way...if this is your last pregnancy then once you're done with baby items-then thats it you're done. I'm tying my tubes after this baby so once I'm done with the bassinet-I can get rid of it & so on. Diapers will be done & once the littlest one is done....thats it. I don't have to worry about changing diapers 4 years from now. I wish you a lot of luck. Its hard to think of helpful hints other than try your best to get yourself organized & let your little girl be involved & teach her to help you. I wish you lots of luck & if you need advice feel free to contact me.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
Congratulations on your pregnancy - may it be healthy and the delivery safe. My boys are 22 months apart. We planned them to be about that far apart because we wanted them to be able to play together and be each others' best friends - maybe not right away but later in life. Both my husband and I have siblings close in age and are very close to them. Of course my boys fight about just about anything but they have become great play buddies - using their imaginations to play about anything. At this point I recommend you use your energy to focus on your oldest until the baby is born, educate her about your growing belly, include her in picking clothes for the new baby, maybe even get her a life-size doll and have her "practice" mommy skills - changing diapers, how to be gentle with the baby. Then pray the transition will be smooth. :-) Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!

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M.W.

answers from New York on

I currently have a 19 month old and a 6 month old. Both little girls. (Very close also) Best thing to do is keep the older one involved in every aspect of the baby. Let her hold her brother or sister (with your help of course), help you feed the baby, play with the baby. I mean every aspect so she can be involved and feel important. Also when the baby has nap time, make sure that is the older girls special time with you. Drop whatever you are doing and play with her.

I'm a working mom and my 6 month old does not sleep during the day and cries alot. The older one never cried, took reg. naps, and was the best baby possible. I was in shock with the 2nd one, and I'm still tired and irritable but I make sure the 18 month is involved in everything (including throwing out the babies diaper, which she loves)and they both love being around each other. I'm sure it will be different when they are both teenagers!!!! Hope it helps.

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E.D.

answers from New York on

Hi S., I wish I could give you advice but I'm also facing the same situation. My daughter is also 17 months old and by the time we have our second child, she'll be over 2. If you hear any good advice I would love to hear it. Thanks.
Liz

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J.M.

answers from New York on

Hi S.!
I don't think having your children two years apart is a bad idea at all. I have two daughters who are 18 months apart. They are now 3 1/2 and my youngest will be 2 on Saturday. In the beginning for me, it was very tough. Neither of my kids slept through the night, so I was up many times with them. I was so exhausted but it did get easier as my oldest got bigger and I finally got her to sleep through the night. Also my oldest was use to getting all the attention. She was a very easy baby, besides sleeping at night, and my second wasn't. She cried a lot, so it was hard to get my older daughter involved or to be able to spend as much time with my oldest as I wanted. Now that they are older they are the best of friends. Its so wonderful to watch them play together, and hug each other. I just love it! In the beginning I was like, oh man, what did I get myself into, but now, It makes all the trouble so worth it. I would definately do it again! Good luck to you, I wish you the best!

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L.G.

answers from New York on

I love the two year spread. My sons, 13,11,9. They were old enough to understand and young enough to play. I think it's a great age difference. If you have been including your daughter in the pregancny it will help. She will try to help you with her sibling. Mine helped all the time. Was it hectic at times? Yes, but well worth it.

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