Heeeelllpp!!!! What Do I Do????

S.
Get a good Family Law Lawyer.....

Jennifer Andrade
Andrade Law Offices

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C.

S.,

Even the fear of someone saying this to you is gut wrenching. First you need to do is get legally separated, get every thing in writing that you want. Get child support set up and visitation. Do not wait until he does this. Make sure your daughter is in a clean healthy environment. If she has had any check ups lately, make sure you have copys. To prove your a good mom, in case he is trying to prove otherwise. IF you work, you need to prove you work.
I know when I was 19, I was not ready for the responsibilities of a child. So be very proud that your one of the mature women that has taken so much on at a young age. Make sure for a while that all your free time is spent with your daughter. Make sure you don't drink or hang out where you know he will be and can hold things against you. Avoid arguing with him at all costs. Just do what you need to do to have a happy home.
Your daughter will get used to living with your parents. This is what family is for. To love us unconditionally and help us when we need them most. Look at all the love and family that will be around. No one should be isolated from there parents. He is threatening you with his parents taking your daughter because that is all it is, a threat. I wish you the best!

Get a good lawyer and fast..

Congratulations on making that first big step to your freedom and your childs safe and secure life. Lean on your parents as much as you need to. Moms will always be your rock. You have some great advice here.
You had the courage to leave him and that is awesome. There are thousands who haven't made it this far. Way to go!!!
With your courage and determination, you will make a wonderful life for the both of you. Just love your baby and your family and you WILL get through this. Don't ever think you can;t. Don't forget, there are always services available and people other than family that you can talk to. Use every bit of help you can find.
Good Luck.

she is young enough to adjust with time. as for her father he can say all he wants. it takes alot for the courts to sever a mothers custody. i went thru a bad divorce with a lot of threats but as long as you do what is best for your daughter the court will see that.just make sure you put her needs first and dont restrict her contact with her dad as that will look bad. it does not matter what he says. it is not his decision. its tough but hang in there.things will get better!

First you are a very strong brave young woman for making this move at a young age that many older adults have trouble doing when they are in an unhealthy relationship. Now take a deep breath and try to relax. It will take your daughter a little while to adjust but just be consistent she will be fine. Your ex is just making empty threats because he is angry that you left and will say things like this to try to get you to cave and go back to him. They will not separate a child from their mom unless the mom is very unfit but judging from your other posts you are doing everything you can to be a good mom.

I was 19 years old when I had my son. If he's thinking they will take your child from you because of age then he's on crack. Now if you were dong crack with him...well that's a different story! :) Cheer up and calm down. The less you talk to your ex the better you'll probably do. I would keep all contact with him to a bare minimum. Get your head straight, focus on your daughter, and you'll be fine.

Hysterical, he doesn't want custody but he wants his parents to take it? No normal court anywhere in America would entertain he idea.

Like others have said, Alyssa will get to know your parents and be a happy little girl. I think that you should speak to a divorce attorney. Speak to folks and find a good one, then see if they can do your case pro bono, or for free. Most lawyers take on a couple of cases a year for people who cannot afford their services. It may help you feel better to just have a consult and hear from a professional that your in-laws are not going to get Alyssa.
You should be very proud of yourself for getting out of a situation which sounds bad. Alyssa will do well to grow up seeing her mother as a strong woman who has learned to take care of herself and her daughter.
I wish you strength and support from your family and friends.

They will not take your daughter from you as long as you are a fit mother. Make sure you are squeeky clean. As long as you are not on drugs or abusive. Also, having a job to support her always helps. They will not give a child to paternal grandparent unless there is no one else. The maternal grandparents would come first but after the actual parents. You would end up with shared custody as long as both of you are safe parents.Try to stay strong.
She will be ok at your parents with you, she will adjust. Just take it slow. Don't push them on her, she will warm up. Have them sit on the floor and begin playing with her toys, she will want to play too.

M. - SAHM and WAHM of three!
I lvoe being home and working from home!

Why do you think his parents would get full custody of your daughter? Why not your parents? Why not YOU?!

My suggestion, is to get yourself to some counseling. Not only will it help you in really, real life, stay "calm" for your daughter through this. It will ALSO look good in the eyes of the court when you state that you sought counseling so that you could remain more stable for the welfare of your daughter.

Feel free to send me a private message with some more details of your situation? I used to work in domestic violence/family court and might be able to give you some more detailed insight.

Hang in there!!!

S.,
aslong as you are not harming your daughter, she will most likely live with you.thefather does not usually get custody unless the childis being harmed or neglected. you areprovidingherwith a safe environment andhave alot of support from your family it seesm like.you have to remain calm and be the bigger person here. your husband will try and look for any faultson you account to use against you. if your freaking out. he could call you unstable and are unable to care for alyssa. i am sorry you are going thru this at such a young age. i wish you the best.

Unless there is something in your past that was terribly wrong (drugs etc.) and you are a good mother and take care of your daughter there is not much chance of him getting sole custody. It is not good to be in such a controlling relationship. You could bring this up in court if need be.
As for your daughter being around a new environment, it will take a while because she picks up stress from you but she will get used to her surroundings. Show her lots of love and let everyone give her attention she will be a happy baby. Good luck and god bless

Hi S.,

First of all take a deep breath. Alyssa is with you now. If anyone felt that being with you is an unsafe environment for your daughter, the state would have already been involved.

The courts only want what is in the best interest for the child. This does not mean that the person with the most money will get custody. It is very unlikely that the court will remove your daughter from your physical custody unless you are deemed an unfit mother.

Your parents and your ex's parents are, frankly, irrelevent except in that they have agreed to provide a safe, physcial environment for you and Alyssa.

You are of age and the biological mother. That gives you a huge edge. So concentrate on helping youself and your daughter adjust to your new environment (she will probably adjust quicker than you!)

Do your best not to engage in battles with her dad. Alot of emotions are in play in these situations and it is better to let the courts intervene. They are more rational during this volatile time. For better or worse, your ex is your baby's father. You picked him, she didn't, but he is the only father she will ever have. Too frequently, I have seen young mothers and the parents of young mothers impede the relationship between the father and the baby so much that he fails to bond and ultimately their relationship wanes away. Incidentally, visitation is not a reward for paying child support. Your baby should maintain her relationship with her father even if he isn't paying child support. (Perhaps as he develops his relationship he will become more responsible with financial support) At the same time, your baby's father does have a responsibilty (and legal obligation) to financially support his daughter, so continue to pursue that in court if necessary. Just keep it separate from the visitation.

God Bless You All
J. L.

Moms rarely get their children taken away- as long as you both have a safe place to live you should be fine!
Are you still in Pawtucket?
I'm sorry this has happened :(

J.

Well, first of all take a deep breath. You're daughter will get used to her new surroundings. As long as you are there with her, she will adjust.

As far as custody goes. You need a lawyer. The courts do not favor taking custody away from Moms unless there is compelling reason to do so. From what I've heard, the court's preference is for physical custody to remain with the Mom with shared legal custody between parents. However, you really need to get an attorney who specializes in family law. Talk to a few, if money is tight (which it is for just about everyone) be honest about your situation with the attorneys you speak with. If you feel like you can't afford an attorney, there are lawyers that volunteer through family court if you qualify based on income.

I am in the middle of a divorce myself and if you have more specific questions, email me. But your parents are right, your husband's parents would not be the first choice to get full custody of your baby.