Help for the Holidays

How about giving stay at home some presents chtistmas day and the rest when brother comes home A. no hills

there are two options. Hold off on Christmas until the 26th when both kids are there. Or do two Christmases and hold back a few gifts for the 4 year old that he/she can open on the day after with the other sibling. Kids are resilient and will understand if you explain it to them. You'd be amazed at how well they understand if you let them in on the whole situation.

For your younger child, save half the presents to open for when it is just him home (and the older child is not home yet). THEN, when the older child gets home, your younger child can open the other half of the presents (that you had put aside earlier & hid), and then both children will have presents to open, together, and as a family.... and of course take photos!
Then that way, the younger child does not have to grow up "waiting" to open presents, just because of the older one not getting home until the 26th.

The trick would be to "hide" (for your younger child), half of the presents so he/she doesn't see it... BUT don't tell him/her that his other presents are hidden or that he "cannot" open them yet just because the older child is not home yet. That will NOT feel fair to a 4 year old. Then, your 4 year old may feel special, because "he" can open presents "twice." But perhaps don't tell him that ahead of time... because then he will badger you about wanting to open EVERYTHING "now"... as most kids will.

Good luck,
Susan

In my husbands family, Christmas is celebrated on the 24th in the evening, in my parents home, it was on the 25th. Why can't yours be on the 26th in the evening when Brother gets home? Or if Santa is still a concern, the 27th in the morning. It is about family and celebrating TOGETHER. Anyway, Happy Holidays!

Why don't you all celebrate together on the evening of the 26th? Make that "Christmas Day"?

HI B,
here as a suggestion that might help, you will need to explain the situation to both of your children and for the one year your older one is gone, you might want to continue and celebrate X-Mas as usual and keep some gifts for your younger one so that they can both open gifts and celebrate on the 26th. Hope this helps you.
E.

Hi T. who cares what time or day you celebrate Christmas present opening? Wait until they are together or just do what you need to with each one, they will be so happy to see each other and on the other hand also have you to himself for a whole week. If you freak out they will too. talk about it ahead and let them know you'll be waiting until everyone is together. What would a pilot, police, fire, people that have to work on a certain day find a way every year... you will too.
Be flexible and give it a try, the hardest part is that your ex and you (your son's Mom and Dad) are not together for him to have like before. Think if it from his point of view instead of your own and a great solution will come to mind.
cheers! Deb

From someone who personally deals with this and has for 14 years...keep your traditions. It is what it is. I would still do Santa and have the presents out Christmas morning, for both children. When your son returns home then he can open his. It is ok that the younger one doesn't have anything to open, that's just their life. They will get used to it. I have always done Santa and then we just leave my step daughters gifts under the tree until she gets there. Sure my younger one doesn't always enjoy watching her and not having anything to open, but I gently remind her that she already opened hers.

N.

I had the same situation. Except that the children who had to 'wait' until my daughter got home were 'steps'. What I did, was I gave the 'waiting' children their 'Stockings', and then we all waited for my daughter. That way the waiting children at least got 'something'. If you start them young, it really won't be so bad. Truly, children have compassion for each other, and wouldn't want to have their huge celebration until 'everyone' in the family is there. Mine thought that doing so would be selfish ... and that was their own words, not mine.

I say whatever you do will feel awkward a bit. WHen I grew up I was the kid that came to my moms house last. They went ahead with christmas moring.. honestly I didnt feel left out by that at all! I was having Christmas morning with my other family, why shouldnt they? I would have felt so bad if my younger sibling had to wait on me! But when I got there my younger brother (4 yrs younger than me) always loved handing me my presents and watcing me open them. he seemed to enjoy it as much as if he were opening presents too. And when he grew up my little sister is now the one that loves handing out the presents when me and my kids get there. No matter what you do, if you do it with love it'll be great. Maybe spend the day when your other child gets home putting together a gingerbread house kit or something fun like that!

The tradition in I grew up with was to open presents on X-mas morning, but my dad grew up opening them the day after X-mas after lunch (that way they could visit everyone on X-mas and have it as a family). It might be easier if you waited until the 27th all the way around that way you can have a higher likelihood of having the day off. Have an X-mas celebration about X-mas for your other child but leave out the presents (make cookies, decorate the tree if you use live trees... something.)

Hi, Trudi.

I actually have given similar scenarios the same thought since I amy be going through this within the next year. My main thought is that the Holidays, like birthdays and any other family activity is about family togetherness. Of course, you don't want to punish your younger one by making him wait but there is a compromise.

I suggest you designate certain gifts as Christmas morning gifts--probaly those from Santa. The rest, including any that come from your older child, can wait to be opened until he returns from his father's. This way no one is unduly punished by having to wait or feeling left out and family togetherness is not sacrificed.

Good luck and happy Holidays!

Have your family christmas before the older child leaves (or after he gets back?). That way everyone is together to open gifts, and no one is missing anything. If you still want your youngest to have *something* to open on christmas morning, maybe save the stocking?

Hi!

What a bummer... court order.

I have a 6 year old and a 2.5 year old. The older one started getting suspicious about Santa last year, and this year is going through the motions of acting like she still believes for our benefit. She wants to believe in Santa, but by now has received too much conflicting information to put her heart into it. Still, she knows it's important and for our younger son to "believe". Hopefully, your 8 year old understands this, too (or maybe even still believes in Santa).

Anyway, what we do is have 1 or 2 surprise presents from Santa, and the rest are from family/friends. I started this way back, so that Eve understood why people went Christmas shopping and so she could take part in the joy of gift giving. She believes/ed Santa only brings gifts for kids who believe in him, and then only 1 or 2 presents.

If I were you, I would put all the presents out under the tree Christmas morning, even though your older one is not there to get them. Then, as you're sorting gifts, have the 4 year old make a pile for the older sibling for her/him to open the next day. I would even be sure to hold back gifts the 8 year old helped pick out for the 4 year old, so that the older one can be there to see the younger open them.

The important thing to teach about holidays, and life in general, is that it's not all about what we get, but about the joy we get making others happy. It's never too early to start teaching this lesson and it sounds like this would be good opportunity. Focus on the gift of giving, not receiving and make sure both children feel like they're super lucky to have 2 Christmas mornings, not just one!

Just delay Christmas until they're together --- the 4yr old won't notice what exact day it is.

I have a sort of similiar situation but we have my step-son on Christmas Eve until 10pm and then he goes to his moms and wakes up there Christmas morning.

Before my daughter (now 3) was born, we woke up on the morning of the 24th as though it was the 25th and said Santa came early! Now that my daughter is here I do struggle with how to make it perfect... last year we went and looked at Christmas lights to find that Santa had come after Christmas Eve dinner... so we all opened presents together. Now that she is getting older, I plan to make Christmas Day our day for a movie or something and that will be our tradition.

Also, realize that this is only for a few years since the kids won't always believe in Santa... so it WILL get easier.

Sorry, re-reading that I realize I wasn't much help!

I'm so glad you asked this question for I will be going through the same exact situation. What I planned to do was just save a few presents from the younger child who will be home for them to open when my other child comes on the 26th. This will be the first time having to do this so we'll see how it goes.

How many Santa Gifts do you normally have? Some households have one special Santa gift and the rest are from MOm and Dad.....

We have 3-4 little gifts and one larger gift from Santa. IE: This year my 10 year old is getting tools (hammer, duct tape, screw drivers....(many from the 99 cents store) then the larger gift is the tool box to put them in. Save the other gifts for the next day.

Your child is old enough to understand that your oldest child is not present for Christmas.
Have your younger child help get presents ready under the tree (separate them) so they will be in a pile when he/she comes home.

Have your younger child be the "trashbag" person who collects the wrap when opening time comes!!! Get a disposable camera and have your 4 year old take pictures... keep them busy....

Good Luck

Hello T.-
I know for some people, the specific day is very important. We have such a blended family, if we do not bend and twist the schedule, someone will be left out. For instance, we have in-laws inlaws that are holiday hogs... so for Thanksgiving, they are having Thanksgiving with them on Thursday and Friday they are all coming to my house for a second Thanksgiving. That way we are not stressed and time consummed with being here and there. last Christmas, our step-daughters could not be home (they were with mama) so we had a small Christmas with the inlaws and had everyone come over on Dec 26th, dinner and presents. Again it was more relaxing and enjoyable. Its alot about being with family and sharing memories... So do whats best for everyone, dont be sad (kids follow our attitude) if thats your situation, thats your situation. Enjoy and have a good Holiday season!