Help! I Feel like I Am on a Road to Destruction.

You might try calling 1-800-759-0700 and talking with someone about what you are experiencing. They might be able to help.

How do you eat and elephant? Answer: One bite at a time.

You are stressed, overwhelmed and I really feel for you. I think we have all been there at one time. Some of us stay there longer than others. For me it was a long process, but eventually and step by step things got better. Find all the positives in your life that you can and be thankful. Tell yourself everyday what you are thankful for, even if the list is short. Next - prioritize and focus on the things you can change in your life. Make a goal to focus on just one or two and work towards changing that.

Reach out. Find support where you can, friends, relatives, neighbors, clergy, counselor and don't be afraid to ask for help. That may be as simple as saying to someone...can you take 30 minutes and just listen to me. Actually, I think what has helped me at times was helping others. It took the focus off myself and helped me realize my life wasn't so bad.

Bottom line, reach down deep and find what works for you. Don't stop trying and you will get there.

Boy, you might not like my answer, but you need GOD more than ever. It is not GOD "allowing" these things to happen it is a God who loves us and allowed us our own free will - HUMAN FREE WILL - is what causes these bad things to happen.
I would strongly consider you to get into the Word and read and study what and who God is. He is not a puppet master who controls all of our actions, but I have found that if we pray for a solution, we sometimes don't like the answers but do need to be ready to accept what He does offer.
You are worrying and stewing and what is that accomplishing? It sounds like your focus on all these situations (beating of a teen at a party, a natural act of a Tsunami) that are out of your control and while compassion is needed for these situations - they should not be keeping you up at night or impacting you the way they do.
I went to a great study at my church that did focus on individuals who were going through some dire situations with their finances and once they were able to hand the fear and concern over to God they were able to move forward and not feel so crippled by the situation.
Did God take away the debt they incurred on their own free will - no. did God take the debt collectors away - no. Did they find peace with their situation - yes.
You need peace, you need God.
I will be praying for you!!

I agree with the response that said you need God more than ever right now, and have you thought about taking an antidepressant? I'm not saying that to be ignorant, either. I have felt exactly like you describe before, and I finally broke down and got on some meds. It has improved my life tenfold. I know you said you have no insurance, try calling your county welfare epartment. You can probsbly get insuance at least to maybe go see someone to talk about this. I know that life is unpleasant sometimes. There were times in my life that I begged God to take me. I would awaken angry that I was still alive. I felt this way for a long time. I have been through tragedies you couldn't imagine, many of them by my own poor choices, many of them not.Today, I thank God that I am alive, and I would have never imagined my life today as it is. Things DO happen for reasons. Stay strong, don't be scared to ask for help when you need it, and it will work out. Everyday that you continue to do the right thing, even for your kids if you can't do it for yourself, you won't know it, but you are growing and getting stronger. Hang in there.

Be brave & patient & still thankful to God ,there are so many people in this world having lots & lots of money but their kids are disabled ,in your case ,great great blessing is, you have healthy kids.Try & try harder,things will eventually changed may be it will take little time .Dont worry God is with you.

Good luck

I am so sorry for your struggles in your life right now. It is so overwhelming to have so much bad news in the media on top of the financial struggles that most Americans are dealing with right now. Having someone to talk to about all of these will help you feel better, and will help you to gain some perspective on how to get a grip on a few things at a time so that you can feel more in control again. I hope you can reach out to a counselor or friend to help guide you through this rough time. Your kids need you to help guide them through this crazy life we all live and to teach them how to be responsible adults in the future. Go to your doctor and get a physical to make sure you are healthy. Sometimes a dip in hormones can send your emotional state off the charts! Remember too that you are not alone in your struggles. We all go through times where it seems like everything is caving in.

I also have questioned why bad things happen in this world and God's hand in it. After much discussion and debate with friends, family and clergy I realize that God does not allow these things to happen. People are responsible for their own actions or inactions, not God. He gives us the tools (a brain and judgement) to hopefully make wise decisions, but we always do not do that. It is a hard concept to grasp, and I still have difficulty with it, especially when bad things happen to innocent people. You are not alone! Thinking of you and hoping you get through this rough patch.

i'm going to start out by saying that i am a STRONG christian. you are not suffering at the hands of God, but man, and decisions that may not have been appropriate. A lot of the reason for yours and many other financial problems has a lot to do with the economy, which is obviously out of your control. My dad is a hard core christian, preacher, and a GREAT counselor. Something he once told me, that i took to heart, is just like a child gets angry at a parent and questions the punishment a parent may give, it's ok to ask God "Why when where or how", or "what are you doing" or "why are you letting me go through this" etc or just plain ask so you have a better understanding

just like a child has consequences if they make a mistake, adults do to, although we don't always understand those consequences or what they are from (financial, relationship, home, etc trouble), look at it this way, you drop an ugly rock (bad decision) or a pretty rock (good decision) in a lake, the ripple effect can take a long time or short tim to stop and one may be more pleasant than the other

God always answer's prayer's and questions of HIS CHILDREN, the answer could be "no" or other wise known as "unanswered prayer" or i have something better, not right now, etc,

The rest i'm going to say from what i believe, you or other's may or may not agree, but this is MY conclusion and please, no negative remarks or down grading remarks, difference of opinion totally understandable. The world, and economy WILL NOT get better (maybe patched or feel better temporary), but it will not totally heal like it was back in the 50's and 70's when people could afford to buy a house/feed their families, or just LIVE for that matter. I say this because the second coming of christ IS near, then the rapture will happen after when satan rules the earth, therefore God is giving satan and his dark angels; they have limits still but more power than they ever have before god allows this to TEST us and our faith in him.

also keep in mind IF you are a child of God, he will never give you more than you can handle, and will always get you out of it if you cannot handle it, but it may seem like a dark deep tunnel with no end in site at first and for a long time.

Sometimes we have to go through certain things inorder for something else to happen. For example, my daughter's father took me to court and asked for more visitation, this was horrible for me financially I couldn't afford it (court is expensive), he asked for 6 weeks in the summer (this is not a good situation for her as she was sent to different babysitters, she is aspergers and he refused to help her so she was having meltdowns the whole time she's there, so more visitation was not in her best interest). He got more visitation and you know what, he screwed up and lost most of his visitation and now has 1 week in the summer. At the time, I couldn't think of anything worse, I was devistated and I cried and cried, up all night, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate and I prayed that his visitation was denied . . . I prayed for an outcome that suited me that I wanted when all along I should have prayed for his will in the situation. God also doesn't cause these things to be done, we have free will and make our own decisions - God did make me a get divorced and have to deal with custody issues - I made a bad decision (not that I would trade my daughter for the world). I try to teach my daughters to pray for his will vs a specific thing they want. When things don't go as they want, I remind them, it's Gods will and something better is coming for you, just wait.

I also know I feel much better about bad situation when I read the bible, I know reading the bible can be daunting but I started by reading a daily divotional which starts with a scripture and then someone write's their thoughts, views, etc. Then I started reading everyday and I really have coem to enjoy it. My goal is to read the entire bible in a year, but before that, I've read here and there (I have a NIV Study Bible for Women and in the back there are study guides, for example my favorite is women in the bible - it lists women and the books/chapters about them). This also helps put things into perspective, like I think I'm having a bad day and I read about Job - things aren't suddenly do bad, I still have my family and my home.

The first thought that came to my mind after reading your post is to suggest a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People - notice the title says "when" not "why". It is inevitable that sad, bad and hard things will happen to all of us - the key in getting past it is how we react to and deal with the hand that is dealt us. It is a terrific book to read and re-read during times in our lives when we feel like we are powerless to cope with the bad things that are happening. It specifically deals with your question of "how can God allow bad things happen to innocent people" so that's why I'm suggesting that you may find it helpful in putting things in perspective. It helped me alot through various issues I was struggling with, and I hope it can help you as well.

God, universal love, energy...... I do believe there is something, but that we all have free will.....hence bad things happen. It's hard to understand and when these things are happening there is a law of attraction that can pull you into a negative cycle.

We all get in a "bad" place now and then overwhelmed by life and I'm sorry for your struggle now. What are you willing to do to try to overcome all this tough stuff? It's hard not to be enveloped by the pain when so much in piled on you, but what do you feel you can do? Would you be interested in a "program?" Would reading a book help? Would a support group sound appealing. Think about what you think you could do, and are willing to do.

Trying to change your mindset from negative to positive is the goal, right? Your doubt and frustration is real and understandable, but it doesn't have to be where you stay.

Here's a book that helped me.
Soul Coaching by Denise Linn

Pick something or some suggestion you get and try it. Keep trying things until you find the right one. The secret is to not give up!

:)

Hello Surviving. I'm so sorry your life is so stressful right now. You have a lot on your plate and it sounds like you're going through a really rough patch right now. Please don't give up. First off, with everything going on, it is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. So don't discount your feelings because it is perfectly understandable. It sounds a lot like you need a professional to talk to. Even an hour a week would help take some of the pressure off. If there is a local university in your area, try going there to see if they have any resources for counseling. As for your questions about God, I understand that it's very hard to feel joyful about what is going on if you don't understand and it feels unfair. Try finding a local church, one where you feel comfortable with the pastor. Then talk to the pastor and let him/her know how you are feeling in general. They may be able to help. Most importantly, don't keep relying on only yourself. I don't know how old your kids are, but unless they are under age two, they can help clean up. Nothing major, but every child can learn to put a toy back in the toy bin. Your husband needs to help to. I don't know if you've tried talking to him, but let him know how overwhelmed you are feeling so you don't feel as if you are going at this alone. Please keep me updated on how you are doing. I know it seems like a lot right now, but things will get better.

I know exactly what you're talking about with the business and money. My husband owns his own business and I was laid off TWO WEEKS after my son was born, so we lost our health insurance right after that and I can't find a job anywhere in my field or even in anything I'm qualified to do. we have no health, car, dental or any insurance, except on the house because that's built into the mortgage. my husband is so stressed about money and i can't help.

I was doing the same thing as you. The real problem solver for me was FINDING A PARENTS DAY OUT PROGRAM. I don't know where you live, but here in Memphis, every nice church has one and some start taking infants as young as 6 weeks (mine does). I take him there MTW from 9-2 and it's a lifesaver. I know you want "Me time," so do i! And SOMETIMES i'll get it during those hours. but it at least gives me time to clean house and run a few errands WITHOUT the baby. It's seriously been a lifesaver. Can you call some churches around - and maybe go outside your own denomination to find one - and find a PDO program for 2 or 3 days a week? It costs me about 250 a month, and it is WORTH IT. regular FT daycare is $400-$600 a month around here. if you can scrape it up, that money will help you massively. i'm also able to do some freelancing from home. i KNOW about the money... and you just have to do what you can, as lame as that sounds. Right now our cell phones are cut off. I'm sure my husband will pay the bill today, but this happens all the time. You're not the only one. I promise! try to find some help with your kid(s)... how old are they?

also... touchy subject... does your husband help with the baby at all? i KNOW it's hard (see my other recent question!), but my husband has started to really try more to help, and just seeing him try makes it better for me, at least. he may work a LOT and not be able to help much, but, he does when he can, i know that.

i also have been doing the thing where i just get PISSED over someting small! I keep dropping things, bumping into furniture, hitting my car tire on a curb... and i'm SO mad. part of that could be, at least with me, postpartum depression.. i don't know when you had your baby, but consider that and also, just stress makes you feel all hormonal and crazy. if you're like me... you feel guilty that you're not able to contribute financially right now and that makes you feel AWFUL. first thing... try to get some time. PDO, whatever it takes. get stuff under control around the house, clean up, put things in order (i'm the same way). then... maybe you can take some time to look for a job where you work from home. lots of stay at home moms write (i'm a journalist, was laid off from the paper i worked at 4 years because of my pregnancy, i was put on bed rest and lost all my FMLA time), maybe you could try to write? Examiner.com and DemandStudios.com are both what people in the industry call "writer mills" and although they're not exactly super prestigious, I do some work for them, cuz it's money!! and it's easy!! look into it, especially Examiner.com.

i hope you start to feel better...

I'm with Somer. We live in a sinful world (hence all the bad happenings). Those who go to heaven will some day experience a world w/o sin.
Our Creator offers us Salvation in the form of a relationship with Him.
He offers us His strength and companionship to get through the rough times and celebrates with us in the victories. I challenge you to realize that you have chosen a negative perspective (It's seen even in your user name). Try to change your focus to what you have in life that you value...and be truly thankful for it. Your kids...the roof over your head...each meal...each day. I know that can be hard w/o faith.
So take a good hard look at that too. The One who created you loves you.
Talk to Him. He will hear you.

Find time for YOU each day- do something you enjoy. Leave the child(ren) with a trusted person and get out. Sometimes something simple like fresh air can turn your mood around. When I am feeling down- I listen to music. It changes my perspective. And just take things day by day...and know you are doing the best you can. It's not possible to do more than that. Just take it easy on yourself!
I am agnostic, so no real advice on the God front. Bad things all the time, and unfortunately, it's the bad stuff that makes the news. I just have faith that everything will be ok each day, try to be a good person, and let the rest fall in line- whatever it may be. It's hard to accept that some things are out of our control. We can only do the best we can. Just know that how you cope with problems is completely under your control. Start by telling yourself each day by looking in the mirror and saying "Today is going to be a good day." until you feel it. Someone told me to do this once, and even as hard as it was to do (and as cheesy as it sounds), it did help. Call it the power of positive thinking...
Anyway, I don't have all the answers for you, but I hope that things do turn around. Take care of yourself and those you love, and don't lose faith that today will be a better day than yesterday.