Help I Want Sole Custody Back but Do Not Know Where Father Is of My Son

ETA - I see the confusion - you posted once, then responded to comments by posting a second question rather than editing the original. Members who want to see the whole story will need to read both posts, with this one second.

Original answer: I read your original question, and then unfortunately you "rephrased" it to take out so much relevant information. In the future, please add info but don't delete what was already there. On Mamapedia, we use abbreviations like "ETA" for Edited To Add or you can use the "So What Happened" feature.

As I recall, your original post said that you had given sole custody to your ex while you were not in a stable living situation. You were moving here and there, renting rooms, and you didn't think it was a good situation for your son. After a year, you became very stable and your ex gave you back your son, but there is still a legal document saying he has full custody. Now he has disappeared, you have tried to find him through various means such as social media, to no avail. But you located his stepfather who said your ex wants nothing to do with this situation without a DNA test. But you can't find him so how can you do a DNA test which you can't afford. Is that right?

Now you say you have been do court and they said they need an address so they can serve him with papers.

So, if you went to court on your own without legal representation or advice, you need to talk to a family law attorney. There are ways to get government assistance if you don't make enough to support your son on your own, first of all. Secondly, your ex is legally obligated to pay child support. My guess is that he is hiding to avoid all of that. But people are pretty easy to find either with the lawyer's paralegal doing a search or possibly using a private investigator for a few hours, which would be money well spent. You can file for child support through the enforcement division of your state - the lawyer can help you with this. Using your ex's social security number (if you know it) and other information, your ex can be found through his job if not through social media and other means, his wages garnished and paid directly to the enforcement division which will then get the money to you for your son. The court can order a DNA test if your ex protests this, and he has to pay support unless and until his paternity is disproven. He's going to have a hard time saying he's not the father if he took custody for a year and got an agreement for sole custody. That's pretty much admitting it's his son, right?

Get good legal advice.

You need to talk to a family law attorney. I know in Wisconsin the state does a DNA test to prove paternity for child support reasons. The child support system can check state tax records to see if he is employed once they find his employer they can get an address from the employer.
Right now you do have custody, he's gone and not bothering you.

First, if he's listed on the birth certificate as "father" you don't need a DNA test. Second, you can file for modification of custody and visitation and ask to be able to publish the notice since you don't know where he is. You can move forward without knowing where he is/being able to serve him, but the clerks at the courthouse are not the folks to ask about this. They may not really know all the ins and outs and even if they do, that's considered legal advice and they cannot give legal advice. Our court here has a Family Law Facilitator who can answer these questions and help you fill out the paperwork. Check your county courthouse to see if there is one there.

I kind of have a hard time believing this is real because no court would allow a mom to just give up her rights to the father for a few months while they move. More than that no more would give up her rights for a few months just so they can move! On the maturity scale you both sound immature.

Still if the father wants nothing to do with you are the kid you have full custody anyway so what is the problem?

So.....he lacks maturity and is irresponsible....which is why he had sole custody of him while you were couch surfing?
Just want to make sure I understand this.
You BOTH need to see a family lawyer.

P.....

Welcome to mamapedia....

How old are you? Is this REAL?? I ask because court proceedings don't happen over night. Courts don't just randomly allow parents to give UP parental rights and then regain custody of the child....

IF this is real?? You need a lawyer. You need to have ALL of your papers from the court ready and available. If you can't afford a lawyer?? Go to your court house and find out who is on the list for pro bono work and then contact them.

I don't understand this. Where is your child? Is the child with this father? (I see 'sole custody') Or do you have him, but the papers say father was supposed to get him> we need a little more information.
Who said it's immature? I don't see any answers to this so who and why would someone say that?Where, when?? You say you went to court? with what documentation? On what basis? Your request? Again, is the child completely missing, also? There are so many avenues for you to look and this forum is filled with helpful people but from this brief note there is no premise for much a response. Perhaps you can rewrite this with more. I am sure many people could help then. And look up legal aid.
Plus there are social networking sites that might help find him through friends.

Check to see if you have a legal aid in your community. They can help you for free. Not sure why this is so difficult for people to understand. This place did not used to be so Judgy. When I say Judgy I'm not just talking about this post I'm talking about your first one as well where you clearly said your child is back with you and clearly explained the situation.
Good luck