D.B.
Wow - what a schedule! Renting a tent is expensive and you have to be around waiting for them to come and set up, and it seems like a big expense for 25 people. However, the larger tents do have rain shields - but you still have the problem of wet grass and people wanting to be out in it.
Yes, buy the paper goods ahead of time. What I do is set the table ahead of time, and I put out the platters or chafing dishes with a sticky note saying what goes on it. I put the serving spoon next to it, labeled. I put the pitcher out labeled "water" or "lemonade" - you get the picture. Then I cover the whole thing with a clean sheet or even a $1 thin plastic drop cloth from the hardware store. It can sit there all week and not get dusty. Not sure what your space looks like, but I usually set up a separate table for drinks and desserts - again, things can be put out ahead of time in many cases. If you have people coming in to help you (relatives, friends), then the sticky notes tell them what needs to be done. I post a checklist on the refrigerator (put ham in to heat, pour water, fill ice bucket) to help me and any helpers.
When you make things like cole slaw and salad, either make them right in their serving bowls and refrigerate (but leave a sticky note on the table where they're going to go), or refrigerate them in plasticware and leave the serving dish on the table - then you or someone else can quickly dump the food into the serving bowl at the last minute.
I make a list on my computer so it can be edited - I even put the times on it that stuff should be done, or at least put things in order. On Thanksgiving, for example, it says when the turkey goes in and when it comes out (that will work for your ham), it says when to put stuff in the oven (potatoes, squash) and when to heat the gravy and when to start steaming the vegetables. Sounds babyish but you'd be surprised how easy it is to overlook something. Take a half hour of your free day and make a relaxed and sensible list - once stuff is written down, you'll feel less stressed about remembering it. That's the stuff that wakes me up at night!
And remember, this day is about your son's communion and not about whether you remembered to make deviled eggs! It's a religious event and should be kept in perspective by everyone who cares about you and your child!
