Help!! My 7 Yr Old Is Peeing on the Bedroom Floor...

i could be wrong.... but if she is peeing on the floor to punish you one of two things could happen...

1. don't make a big deal about it. If you aren't upset, it doesn't work.

2. That said, don't be upset and have her clean it up. No big deal, "sorry you feel that way and you get to clean it up."

My kids tried a few things to "get my goat", and I calmly said, I am sorry you feel that way, and didn't make a big deal over it. Later they told me they would go to their room and say.. drat, that didn't work.

Hope this helps a little.

K.

Hi T.,
I am not an expert on the common underlying emotional or psychological issues that might cause a child of your daughter's age to use this behavior to express anger. But I been through some similar issues with my son's behavior in the past. I do believe that we need to teach our children how to deal with their anger and how to express their feelings in ways that are not destructive or inappropriate, just as importantly as we teach them manners and respect.

I tend to lean more towards the idea that your little girl simply thought at the moment that peeing on the floor of her room would make you unhappy and she was unhappy so she did it. Most 7 year olds don't think too deeply or long about their actions yet, they mostly just do what occurs to them at the moment.

I think it's great that you talked to her about it and she told you why she did it. When a child tells you they were angry, that's the perfect opportunity to talk about anger and discuss some constructive ways to handle that emotion. If more parents would acknowledge anger as a natural reaction and give their children positive ideas for how to manage their "bad" or hard feelings I think we'd have a lot less violence and self-esteem issues in this world.

If they never learn how to deal properly with anger they will continue to act out when they are mad. Heck, most adults these days do not handle their anger appropriately. If we yell and lose our temper when we are mad, our kids think that is how you are supposed to act. Or they pick some other action that occurs to them if they don't know what to do.

Talking about anger is a good thing. Ask your daughter what she thinks would have been a better way to let you know she was angry, so you could help her not be. Once you've both come up with a few better ideas, then you can also talk about how unsanitary peeing in the floor is and how you know she is a big girl now and that's not a choice a big girl should be making. When you let her know that you believe in her ability to make good choices she will be proud to rise to your expectations. Be sure to praise her and look for times when she does make good choices. Best of luck

Try not to react in front of her other than to tell her to change her clothes and put the wet ones on the washer (if there are clothes involved.) Also give her a rag and Oxiclean in a spray bottle and have her clean up her own mess...she can not come out of her room until you have checked to see that she has done an acceptable job cleaning the wet spot.

Hi T.,
I will tell you it's probably an attention factor. She has a younger sister that's now getting attention and she's having to share the attention with her. She's struggling with this. I know this because of experience with a siblng when I was around her same age! Give her time; discipline her with a strong arm of love and find a way to spend some special time with her daily. I wish you well and will say a prayer.

T., my sister's 4th child did this sort of thing, but he was diagnosed many things, including ODD, ADHD and other things that I can't even remember. He would do these things on other people's rooms, etc.

But having said that, I wouldn't get angry at her at all. I would however, had her clean it up and just say (no lecturing at all), "oh this is so sad, what are you going to do to clean it up?" If she needs suggestions, give them to her. It's wonderful that she told you why she did it. Now you can help by setting a good example on how to control anger. No yelling, no hitting, etc. www.loveandlogic.com

Hi, my daughter did this as well when 4 1/2 yo. I simply stated to her calmly, Gee girls your age use the bathroom when they pee. Next time you pee on the floor, in your pants or outside, you will stay in for the rest of the day. It took a couple of times watching out the window and seeing her friends play to solve the proble. I never yelled or anything. V..

Tiffany, what ARE you doing at this point in the form of discipline? If you are doing nothing, she has no reason to stop this behavior.

I went through something similar and my oldest simply wanted my attention. He was feeling neglected becasue there was a younger sibling present that needed my direct attention. When I discussed this with their pediatrician, she laughed and called it right out. They go back to acting like babies to lash out for attention. Once I made an extra effort to baby my oldest sometimes, it stopped. Good Luck!

When my 9 year old was younger, she would make herself throw up during tantrums. I decided one day to make her clean up as much of it by herself as she could. She didn't do it again for three more years. When she decided to do it again, I made her clean that one as much as she could. She hasn't done it since. Perhaps making your daughter help clean it up will be enough to put an end to it.

I would have her clean it up. It's an excellent consequence. Then peeing on the floor only punishes herself, rather than you. You can stay and monitor her progress, helping her learn how to clean it up appropriately. Of course, this must be done with a loving heart...

If truly the reason she intentionally urinated on the floor was because she was mad at you, she's 7 so teach her if she continues this (for any reason) that she must pick up the wet items and wash them herself. She's old enough to learn how to use the washer and dryer. This might help her understand that this is unacceptable behavior and it does have consequences. You might also explain that her anger at you can be expressed by talking with you about why she is angry. Blessings.

It's hard to say without knowing more about the situation. I think it's odd that she elected to pee on her own bedroom floor rather than somewhere more obvious if the intention was to upset you. Did she wet her clothes as well, or just the floor? Generally speaking, when a child is wetting his or herself at that age and doesn't have an underlying physical reason it should be sending up big red flags. Personally, I would be more concerned than angry. The fact that she defiled her own territory rather than yours would generally indicate that it is herself that she is mad at, not you. Have you noticed any changes in her behavior such as suddenly becoming aggressive or withdrawn? Is she having sleeping or eating issues, having emotional outbursts, etc.? I don't mean to upset you, it's just that after having worked with foster children I know that this specific type of behavior often merits looking into. The behavior itself is not unheard of, but it's also not a normal response to a minor conflict. It could be that she has an emotional immaturity issue, or it could be a response to something else going on in her life that you may or may not be aware of. Either way, if this behavior becomes a pattern of if you notice any of the the things I've mentioned above, it probably needs some professional attention. Even if she is just always a defiant child who is trying to "up the ante," it should be looked into before it has a chance to escalate. Like I said before, it's just not a normal or approapriate response to minor emotional upset. Good luck.

T.,

I am APPAULED at the suggestions to make her stay in her urinated clothes all day or force her to clean up the urination herself. There is obviously a problem here, but I think if you listen closely to your daughter and give her some extra attention and love this will cease.

Love,
C.

I would have brought her right back in the house when this was found and made her clean it up. It seems when they have to clean up their messes they stop making them. I would have said something like "peeing anywhere but in the toilet is unacceptable. You must clean up the mess you have made." She would not have been allowed to go out of her room to play with anyone that day. V. Ellis