Hope things have improved since your post. I agree with the info in the previous posts and want to add my info. I am a 36 year old stay at home mom with 3 boys, 6,6 and 7. ( I am now taking limited freelance photography jobs now that all are in school, but I was strictly theirs for the first 6 years) My first son was never put down. He never slept in his expensive crib. Never. He sometimes would be happy in a baby swing although he would not use bouncy seats or the excersaucer. I did everything holding him even cooking etc... He is now seven and is not spoiled! He is a thoughtful, sweet boy who loves school and is very popular with other kids and teachers. As soon as he could crawl and then walk he was off on his own. Once he had independent movement he was very confident. I think you are wise to be concerned about your two year old. Try to get her involved and foster family unity. There is a lot of competition between my 3 boys. Especially because of the closeness in age. Now that they are in school it is very obvious that there are many inequalities between the different classrooms and sometimes one childs wins something in a drawing or contest of luck. I am constantly showing them how to be happy for each others good fortune and not be jealous. I know this will be hard for a two year old but just make as much contact as possible and be positive. Get her involved by letting her play peek-a-boo and other games that 2 yr olds love with the baby. If you get a baby carrier, get her one too for her dolls or stuffed animals - make one if you can't find one! Just get her involved so she's not standing around watching. Good luck!