Hi V.,
My daughter got married 3 years ago and had a beautiful large wedding for 10K. My first advice is don't get caught up in the hype! When she married, the average wedding was listed as 26K! We quickly informed her she'd have a very below average wedding. Keep in mind, below average monetarily has meant very above average in many other areas! The wedding caused NO debt, less stress, pride in frugality (hers was very HIGH cost to many of my friends!) and many blessings brought on by not having to have the biggest and the best! She really did have to reduce the number of invites - it's very difficult to do but often MUST be done. Again, it was truly beautiful and memorable!
Be organized: keep a notebook and compare prices. Cut out pictures and paste them in your notebook when you see an idea you like then recreate it according to your budget. Stay focused on one thing at a time. Make a budget and STICK TO IT - I cannot tell you how glad you'll be that you did! You have a young family to think about which is much more important than one day of bliss. Your marriage needs much more investment than your wedding. Also, being 'Bridezilla' will not encourage generous and kind people to be nicer or more generous. Remember, anyone that provides you with a service might be working for you but will be much more willing to help you if you treat them with kindness and respect. Some of them told me stories of their ill treatment and how they didn't go out of their way for the demanding bride.
Check out THE KNOT.com. Great ideas, invitations, etc. Using a restaurant for a buffet dinner can really help you save money. We used Johnny Carinos and it was great. She used the event center at Belmar for the balcony for 200 guests. You gamble on weather but it should be very nice in September to be outdoor anywhere. The Crystal Rose off County Line and Southpark in Littleton is a nice place too.
If your cousin is an experienced photographer, great. If they're not and you really love them, you may want to look elsewhere. I've talked to so many that were terribly disappointed in their pictures and there is just no going back. If you stick with your cousin, decide to be thrilled with the outcome, no matter what - your relationship with them is too important to be unhappy with them! No matter who you use, be sure to provide them with a list of shots that are very important to you.
Find out what your future husband cares about in this process. Some men just want to show up on the wedding day, others really do care about colors, etc. My husband had his attire picked out 10 years before we met and also informed me the week of the wedding we certainly would have little tule packets of birdseed for the guests to shower us with! Imagine asking someone to make 300 of those little treats at the last minute! He also made it clear that our reception would end in the early evening so we could be about the business of our honeymoon! This is an important day for him, too, so don't leave him out.
Include your children and take care of them first. Your son won't resent your busyness as much if he feels he is an important part of this day. Memories of this day for him will matter, too. Be sure someone has been designated to care for them well while you are busy with your reception. Some of my favorite wedding pictures include by two children decked out in their finest.
If you are active in church, you can use your home facility for the wedding (if you don't have that picked) and save money there. If they have a big hall, you really can have a beautiful reception,too. A few silk trees and white twinkle lights and tule can go a long way. Many close to you would be happy to decorate and make it special.
On your wedding day, roll with it. My daughter had planned her bride and bridesmaids pictures for outdoors - completely squelched by tornado warnings and torrential rain. Some guests turned home rather than deal with the weather. She had decided beforehand to deal with anything that went wrong with a smile and grace. What a joy to all around her! No one has memories of a crabby bride that day!
Lastly, you may be far along in your relationship but I cannot stress enough the importance of pre-marital counseling. You would be amazed at what kind of issues can be brought up and handled prior to becoming critical issues. There are many things we don't even think about but are important to a healthy marriage. If you want a lifetime commitment, begin by making the marriage a priority and build a strong foundation for your family.
God bless you in your efforts to plan this day. I'm sure with patience and a good attitude, it will turn out beautifully! When I think of you, I'll be offering up prayers for your family!
C. G.
