Help Thats Not from a Book

I used a Fisher Price aquarium that hooks onto the crib. It distracted my son when we first started putting him in his crib and after a little while of letting him cry, he went down no problem. Now we just lay him down and he goes right to sleep. While I was getting him used to it, if he cried for more than a couple of minutes, I would go in and rub his tummy while he watched the aquarium. Good luck!

Hi H., Her crying got longer trying to get her way, you quit to soon. Remember there is no such thing as you can't, she's the child you are the parent. Be consistant she will learn. J. L.

Yes, how old is she? You don't want to do CIO on a young infant/newborn or baby. I have also heard that CIO actually changes their brain? You might want to check that. But, it does not teach them anything nurturing.

IF she is still a newborn... and under 3 months old, try putting her in a "Moses Basket" or bassinet instead. Many babies... don't initially like cribs...because it is a wide open space, and they were used to being confined in a "womb" their whole 9 months. This is what we did with my son, and he LOVED his Moses Basket. Then, when he was older and outgrew it, we put him in the crib.. .and by then, he transitioned fine.

Or, you can try swaddling her... that is what we had to do with my firstborn.

Keep in mind that a baby has involuntary reflexes...meaning, they have what is called a "startle reflex"...their arms and legs flail because they are not developed in their motor skills yet, nor are they able to do things at will, yet. THUS...many times this alone with wake a baby and they are unable to sleep... because as they sleep, they "jolt" awake and their arms/legs will "jolt" as well. It scares them. Plain and simple. And it wakes them up. THUS... rocking them to sleep, holding them in your arms is a great comfort for a baby...because it is like being in a "womb" AND it (you) are "helping" their body to be calm and wrapped by your arms...thus, lessening the "startle" jolting. AND they like to be next to their Mommy...is it a bonding for them, and they love that. It is only natural. It is comforting.

You cannot "MAKE" a baby sleep ALL night, if they can't nor are able to. ALL babies are different, with their own time-lines and needs, and conditions and development.

For at least the first year of life... they will go through various sleep patterns, or issues, or changes. It's all normal, unless they have colic or other medical concerns.

ALSO, make sure she is fed on demand...and at least very 3 hours. If a baby is hungry, they will NOT sleep....and they need to be fed during the night too, if this is what they need...not what the Parent "needs." At growth spurts, they also need to be fed more and more often, because they are simply growing and need more intake. It's just survival and developmental.

there are so many opinions and Moms try sooooo many things. Each baby is different. No baby is the same. They all cry.
Keep in mind, that "sleeping through the night" means sleeping AT LEAST 6 hours or more straight. This is for babies, not by "adult" standards of what sleep is.

Or, ask your Pediatrician... they all have their opinions too.

All the best,
Susan

Sleep can be so hard with children. My son is 3 but didn't start sleeping through the night till he was 2.5. I would try everything. I had another on the way and knew i would struggle with two not sleeping. I was talking to a lady one day and she told me to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy my son while he is little and stop making him do something he is not ready to do. We will not be sleep deprived forever but as a mother that is what happens. Now that he is sleeping through the night i MISS waking up with him and holding him, rocking him. My daughter slept through the night at 5 weeks and will NOT let me rock her to sleep. she is 1 now and has NEVER fallen asleep in my arms. Which i thought i would be able to enjoy longer with her but not so much.
You will miss these days, i promise you! enjoy them while they are here. I know that is hard advice to hear, it was hard for me.
a side note, my son has slept on a crib mattress next to our bed since he was 9 months and STILL sleeps there. I am in no hurry to move him cause i know one day he will not want to be there anymore.
God bless you and your family!
xo
A.

How old is your baby? Maybe she isn't ready to cry it out. I co-slept with my baby until she was 15 months old. I couldn't do the cry it out because I wasn't comfotable doing it when she was an infant. I felt so much better when I was weaning her from being breastfed and she was a little bit older.

We went through the same thing. A recomendation we got was to have a blanket over your arm and chest so when you transfer the baby your body heat that absorbed into the blanket will make the transition to crib easier. You're warm and the crib is cold. This helped us out a bit. We did end up having to sit on the floor next to the crib holding the babies hand through the railing until they fell asleep sometimes. As they get more used to it you can start inching away from the crib more each night. It takes a while, but that's all that worked with my older 2.

Oh my gosh, H.. I had been dealing with the same thing. My son is VERY attached and always knew when we had set him down even if he was totally asleep. Here is what I started doing and it's working really well for our 9 week old.

1. relaxing warm bath with a "sleepytime" bath soap
2. put on a warm sleeper that has been warmed by a space heater or hair dryer
3. swaddle really good
4. warm bottle (not breast for this time, because it is too difficult to put him down alone after being on the breast)
5. give him bottle in his room, with the lights off and lullaby music or white noise playing, while swaying
6. continue swaying for about 10 minutes
7. set him in his crib, feet and butt first, then slowly roll his head down
8. keep your arm or hand under his head and one hand pressed onto his chest for about 5 minutes
9. remove hand from head and keep the one on his chest for a couple more minutes
10. slowly remove the hand from his chest and stand over the crib for a couple minutes
11. walk away slowly and quietly

Some keys to making this successful: an elevated baby wedge, warming the crib, making the crib have mommy's smell (I "wear" his puddle pad for a little bit before I put it in the crib), keeping the door to his room closed almost all the way, having all lights outside/near his room turned off.

I don't know if this will work for an older baby, but it is our adaptation and seems to be working. Oh yeah, if he starts to stir, we go back in his room and place a hand on his chest for a minute and that seems to settle him again.

Good luck!!!

Heahter,

It is tough to share appropriate experience without knowing how old your little girl is...but, I will only add to the great advice you've gotten.

Infants should not be 'expected' to sleep through the night at all. My son didn't start sleeping for long than 3 hours until he was about 6-7 months old, and that was once he began solid (jar) foods and cereals. Before that we were up every 2 to 3 hours for on demand feedings. If she's hungry, feed her. If she's wet, change her. At this point, and from now on, it is about your child and not about what you feel she 'should' be doing.

Infants at various stages in development struggle with 'seperation anxiety' and depending on how old your girl is, she may be developing a sense of loss that is only being made tougher for her by being left to CIO. So, many studies have shown that CIO can create the release of chemicals in the brain that can cause a 'seperation' from the nuture needed throughout infancy and even toddler stages. Therefore, damaging the ability to bond and relate to others. Not that it can't work in the right situation, and the right age...but, even Dr. Ferber has said in recent writings that it was not meant to be used the way many people have used it, as a last resort to their own desperation and lack of patience.

If your little one is crying, she needs something and is trying to tell you. It's our job as Mommies to figure out what that is. Hunger, fear, wet diaper, pain...whatever it is she will give you signs in the way she cries to show you she needs you.

Has she ever slept in her crib? If so, what recently changed that may be effecting her sleep habits? Changes in routine, environment, diet and so many things effect infants sleeping. Make a list, and see if there is something there.

Like Susan said, you can't 'make' her sleep in her crib...if she's not comfy there, she won't. My son and I co-slept from the time he can home from the NICU because, he needed the constant warmth and comfort. I had never planned on it, but so much research shows that kids who co-sleep or are nutured during difficult sleep times bond to Mom and Dad in a way that is unique. But, again that isnt' for everyone either.

If you can, get a bassinet...and try that along with swaddling. There are great blankets for swaddling, and they do work wonders! That's how I got my son to sleep with Grandma, when I had to go back to work.

Hopefully, some of this helps.

I tried a CIO method. For my daughter the going in every 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes only got her more worked up. After 2-3 nights of an hour or more of the panic cry we tried something different. We switched to following a bed time routine then putting her down and staying in the room. I pulled a chair up close to the crib facing away from the crib but where she could still see me. I would basicly sit there ignoring her but still close enough to comfort her just by being close. Sometimes I would sing to myself or play some calm back ground music. Over time (maybe a week or two) I moved the chair back until I was close to the door. Eventually I didn't need to stay in the room any more. She would cry a little when I put her down but it wasn't a tramatized type cry it was just a token agruement to ending the day.

Let her cry it out...seriously. I put my daughter in her crib at 6 months and let her cry it out. The 1st time was about 20 minutes and the 2nd time was like 10 and the 3rd time not even a peep. A friends son cried for almost an hour the 1st time, 20 the 2nd, 5 mins the 3rd and then not at all on the 5th. Stick to your guns and be consistent. Good luck I know it's hard to hear them cry but in the long run it is so much better for them.

Ask your pediatrician. Mine just gave me some excellent advice on how to stop him from biting kids in preschool and its working (she said to give him a wristband and to tell him to bite that instead when he has the urge to bite)
You might be surprised at the help you may get from them...

Hey, I am going through the same thing with my 3mth old. He will take a cat nap in the crib but not overnight. I am trying to make it as comfortable for him as possible. plus he sweats so we have to keep him cool at the same time.

Hi H.:
You recieved some very good responses, with excellent information,and advice.I will simply add,that while it may be difficult for you to see now,you don't want to miss, Those moments,you will treasure,and share with your daughter,when shes grown.Don't cheat yourself,or your daughter of the special bond and closeness,only the two of you can share.I don't exagerate,when I say "Motherhood Is not to be compared to anything else in our lives". Cherish each moment,as you'll discover to late,those moments are gone. My advice to you would be, to Leave your hurried world behind,and learn to slow down,so you can enjoy your beautiful girl,and she can enjoy,and grow closer to her mother.Its ironic. You appear in a hurry for her to grow up,while us mothers of grown children,dream of going back in time,when we could hold our children in our arms.I wish you and your darlin girl the best.

This is how I got my sleeping kids from my arms to the crib. I firmly yet gently held them down for a minute. Let me explain step-by-step.

Step 1: When rocking baby to sleep, try to be next to the crib.

Step 2: Baby falls asleep.

Step 3: Place baby in crib, firmly holding limbs in place so they don't move. Hold baby in place for a full minute, then s-l-o-w-l-y remove the pressure.

Step 4: Cover baby with a blanket.

Its all about that startle reflex.

Good Luck!

H.,

How old is she? It greatly depends on that!

M.

well...I would suggest trying to let her cry it out one last time. BUT...although it will be very hard to listen to her cry for what seems eternity...give it one full week. Prepare yourself and go in starting at 5 minutes, don't pick her up, just rub her back for a quick second while you tell her you love her and it is time to go to bed then exit the room. Each time add 5 minutes to your time until she falls asleep. She will test you the first few nights, or more, but just when you think you can't take it, it usually works. Sounds harsh but what a lesson to learn to fall asleep. Then you are golden!! We did this with our daughter and she had us going until night 5...ugh...and it brought me to tears every night and she could least 2 hours some time!! But, now she is 20 months and has never had an issue sleeping since we did this at 5 months. Good luck and stay strong!!

Another great point is to make sure you stick to the same routine EVERY night...that is important to everyone. But, like someone posted earlier...every child is different and maybe your little girl has something else in mind! Remember, she looks for you to set her routine and keep some sort of daily schedule.

H., eventually she will stay in the crib, just let her cry a few nights and it will work or prepare to have baby with you til she is 5 y/o. The Nanny program shows you how to be tough, it is for her benefit and yours.