There are 2 kinds of hemorrhoids. Internal and External.
Internal are much more painful and harder to treat. They're more easily inflamed and harder to treat. External are not any more comfortable, they're just more easily treated with OTC products like Preparation H.
I developed them after my daughter's birth (kids are the same age as yours). They went away, but chemo a few weeks later really constipated me bringing the hemorrhoids back with a vengeance. I was honestly afraid to go to the bathroom because it was SO painful.
My doctor gave me 2 prescription creams that have lidocaine in them and were immensely helpful: Rectagel and Analpram (yes, the names are awful - I work in the pharmaceutical industry and am embarrassed about them).
Preparation H couldn't touch how much better these made me feel.
I also had to start taking stool softeners and laxatives to make the process easier and give the hemhorroids time to heal.
Hot baths are supposed to help. I didn't get any relief because I had both internal and external.
Hemorrhoid surgery is supposed to be one of the most painful - so, the only ways to treat are to soften your stools to relieve the strain and to use topical products to help with the inflammation.