How Annoyed Would You Be?

I would not find it annoying. After a wk or so I would think maybe my cousin put her husband ina bad position and I would've moved on. I would actually be a bit embarassed that I put the guy in a bad position and made him uncomfortable by asking more than once.
My husband was out of work for over a year and let me tell you, he was given many many leads that never panned out. People talked to people for him, he went to the interview and then didn't get hired. Lots of people promised to ask so and so about an opening and never did. Lots of people we barely knew networked for us. I didn't hold any of them accountable if the lead didn't pan out or if they didn't follow through with promises. The responsibility ultimately fell with my husband. You can't just sit and wait for someone to get a job for you.

It would be okay to follow up and ask. If there isn't any openings or anything, it would be good for them to speak up. Sometimes you have to follow through. Don't worry about it being a relative or a favor, if they haven't said no, then ask and follow through until you find an answer either way. I wish you the best.

Frustrated yes but irritated no. This was over a moth ago so my thought is there isn't anything available. Time to move on. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Its not easy. Have you looked outside of Michigan?

Yes, it would be annoying. But one thing I have learned while being a similar position while my husband was unemployed for 6 months, is that when one lead falls through, then to find other leads and to stop worrying about the one that isn't progressing. Perhaps this relative has talked to the head guy and the guy isn't interested or keeps blowing him off. Perhaps he doesn't think your husband is a good fit or knows the company isn't in a position to hire and is dragging his feet b/c he doesn't want to hurt any feelings. Perhaps there is an awkward work environment where he doesn't feel able to talk to the guy in charge about hiring a family member.

If I were your husband, I would make up a nice resume, a dossier and cover letter with your cousin's husbands name as the referral, and ask for the guy's email address to send the information directly, or research the company on his own and send the information. If no bite, then let it drop.

I don't think you should be irritated. Go by the old saying "never mix business & family". I would never count on asking for *favors*. This is a favor, otherwise your DH should have went in and applied for a job just like anyone else.

Don't forget what time of year this is too. I doubt business was talked about at any of the parties. I hate a party where business is brought up & will immediately tell the person "no work talk".

You expect your cousin to "just call the person in charge, or send him an e-mail", well why hasn't your husband done that? Why isn't your DH saying "Can I have the name & number of the person to contact so I can apply for the job" ?

Maybe try calling cousin and ask for the contact info so your DH can go about applying for the job. And keep pounding pavement, don't count on family & don't be upset with them either, it is an awkward position you put the cousin in.

I am a business owner, my parents had a very successful company also. We never hire friends or family. It can cause too many problems. I would back away from your cousins husband. Obviously he is trying to be nice and doesn`t know how to tell you-his wife may have just spoke with out knowing. Don`t be mad, just try to look elsewhere. I know times are tough right now.

Ask him for an email address or a name. I have family that helps finding jobs but they never just find a job, you have to do most of the work yourself. I know very few hiring managers that would even consider someone who was just dumped on them.

Bottom line.....family doesn't like to hire family...I think your husband isn't giving it enough effort to find his own job. I would just let it lay.

Kind of sounds like he is wishing he wouldn't have offered and can't really find a good way out of it. Really I can't blame him. There have been times when I have offered to do something and then after I offer I think about it and kind of wish that I hadn't.

Either way, yes I would be irritated and VERY frustrated. This is such a hard time to be without a job and to be trying to get into the job market.

I don't know that saying anything at this point would do any good at all and may just make an awkward situation worse. I think, again, easier said than done, that just not mentioning it at all and concentrating elsewhere is probably the best option.

Sorry you are in this position, my family has been there too and I know how tough and stressful it is. Best of luck, warm thoughts and prayers to you and your family that your husband finds something quickly.

I think your husband should accept it is not going to happen. I think it is not helpful and I would be annoyed. I also think maybe the hiring manager doesn't even want to deal with hiring someone's relative and your cousin just doesn't want to say so.

Yes I'd be frustrated however, It sounds to me like he can't be bothered. I would not ask about it anymore with this cousin. If he can't have a simple conversation with the manager then how would it be if your DH started working there. Plus there is something to be said about mixing family and business...Usually it doesn't work. Perhaps he is avoiding helping your DH for that reason or simply he can't be bothered.

Time to pound the pavement and move onto other options. I am sorry this is a difficult time for your family. Why create hard feelings with a cousin who simply doesn't want to complicate things....That's JMO. Best wishes and I do hope you find employment.

Sounds like there is not a position and if there is, they are in no hurry to hire. So you'd probably do better to move on and try for something else. It may still pan out...but don't let it dissapoint you any further.

I think frustrated and disappointed are more realistic feelings. Obviously you're stressed but it's not as if your cousin-in-law said "hey - stop job hunting. I've got one for you. All set." You asked him for help and he did say it's not really up to him. My husband is looking for something more full-time too and a job that recently came up somewhat involves an old, very good friend of mine. I am making sure to not put that friend on the spot at all. I think my husband is smart and hard working etc but who knows what my friend really thinks. Making a recommendation to hire someone is a huge deal as if it doesn't go well, it can seriously hurt the recommender's professional life. I'm not going to put my friend in that situation. If your husband slowed his job search bc of what your CIL said, that wasn't a good idea. Even if your husband got the interview, no guarantee he'd get the job and the holidays are a tough time to get people focused. I agree with someone who said to ask your CIL if it's ok to just send a resume and cover letter to this person and if so, get the contact info and do that. If your CIL balks, back off and figure it's very unlikely to happen. Unfortunatley, he may not sincerely feel your husband is a good fit. Not fair to be mad at him for that unless he's just being malicious for some odd reason.

I can see why you may be irritated, but really, I wouldn't put too much stock into it. When you hire friends and family, sometimes that is not good, and maybe your cousin is having second thoughts about it. What is he supposed to do, tell you he changed his mind about it? I'd bet he is just hoping that you will forget about it. I know that is not right, but I'd bet that is what he is thinking. Don't be mad at him either - maybe he thought you guys put him on the spot too? Don't let this put a rift in your family relationship.

Your cousin is in a very tough situation, he wants to help yo but also needs to protect his partnership in the business. I totally understand where he is coming from, help a friend or family member out and it doesn't work out then everything suffers. Why doesn't your husband want to go back to car sales, a person that is working at something seems to be more employable than someone who has been off for a while. My husband is in car sales and we have been doing ok with it, people are still buying cars and as a temporary thing sounds like a good option.

I would forget about the cousin and his followup. Have your husband contact the company directly and find out himself what is available and get himself hired. That way, there won't be any bad blood or bad feelings etc. with cousin. Its obvious, the cousin either doesn't understand the urgency or isn't motivated to help. Either way, hubby needs to get a job--so support him in doing that. GL

M

Oh when my husband was out of work everyone who talked to us and offered to help gave us such hope that we always felt like a job was right there - and then it never came through.

Get your frustration out by venting to your husband, crying, working out, screaming, whatever you need to do - but not to your cousing or her husband.

Things will be fine. I know how stressful this is (trust me) but things will work out. They always do.

I'm saying a prayer for you guys!

I might be irritated but I wouldn't say a word.
He knows your husband's situation.
Maybe there is just nothing available at this time.
anytime you ask anyone about a job...it's usually "I'll keep that in mind" or "I'll check around" etc. It doesn't mean they are going to call him in a week with a start date and a position.

And it is the holidays. People out, on vacation, busy, etc. You never know but you do know NOT to count on "something" coming through.

Try not to let this affect your relationship with your cousin or her husband.
Best of luck with the job search!

Family is nice but not when it comes to finding jobs. He would be better going out there and just doing it himself. Times are hard and tight and many companies are just getting by with what they got.

Truck driving school costs money and some schools want you to be on campus while you learn how to drive. Local companies want experienced drivers so hubby may have to hit the road for a bit. That would leave you and the kids at home alone for period of time. That is not an easy life especially when you have young kids.

What else can hubby do? I know the car dealerships have changed over the years as to what they are looking for. The economy has changed how we buy cars and so on.

I would be upset but you have to look at the source - family. Just chalk it up to experience when he started making excuses that there may have been something said about hiring or no hiring and he was trying to be nice about it. Don't bring it up just move on.

The other S.

It's annoying, yes, but don't count on this lead/contact. Your husband still needs to be following through with applying for jobs and submitting resumes and making his own contacts, following up on leads. The job market sucks right now, so if you just sit and wait for someone to contact you or for that one contact that you know to come through and hand you a job, then you're bound for disappointment.

Have your HUSBAND follow up with the cousin's husband himself and have him do it professionally with a resume and a cover letter. He can express his interest and have all of his qualifications right there so that if this cousin ever does follow through he can be matched up appropriately.

After that, write the cousin off.

I agree with hubby, it appears that cousin-in-law was just saying that to be nice. Of course you have every right to be irriatated. I would be. However to keep the peace, I would just let it go.

I wouldn't say anything, and I would quell my irritation.

My husband and dad both run businesses . . . sometimes management is not on the same page when it comes to hiring needs. There are many different reasons why this could be happening, and most of them likely have nothing to do with your husband.

If I were him I would stay positive and direct with your cousin's husband. "Joe - thanks for your time - let me know if there's anything else I can do. I'd love to help out if I can." And I would drop it there. Otherwise it could get uncomfortable for your families.

Good luck and I hope he finds something soon.

I wouldn't be too irritated or say anything at this point.
And here's why: asking for a favor like this puts your cousin's hubby in a
tough position.
He feels like he wants to help but it is a delicate matter.
He most likely will make him look bad in the eye's of his partner.
I would definitely let it go & have your hubby pursue all other possibilities.
While I can understand your hubby needing a job right away pushing any further will only make things worse.
I would hate to be put in this situation.
Have hubby look into any & all possibilites. Even things he may think he
cannot do.
Also, have him think "outside the box" to the best of his ability. Sometimes
jobs are right around the corner but we would never have thought of them as a possibility.
Have him get creative in his thought process. Leave no stone unturned
I know your poor hubby must be feeling very nervous considering the high unemployment rate & the state of our economy .I will pray for something good to come quickly for your hubby.

YOur husband needs to just send his resume to other places and forget about the "help". It may come through it may not. He can't wait on that.

Can he get a head hunter kind of person? My hubby used a jobhunter guy that helped a lot, there is a small fee but they reword resumes and help send word out that you need employment.

It's really no ones fault if there isn't a position, or if people are second guessing things. It stinks to be in need, but you can only "push" so much. If they want to hire your husband, they'll call. Everyone knows he's available. Also, I wouldn't follow up before New Years no matter what. As of Christmas Eve, he was "going to talk to him". Bad timing! I've needed to get some stuff handled this week, and lots of people are away on break. It is still the holidays until after New Years at this point.

If anything, your cousin and her hubby should be keeping you posted like "I haven't talked to him yet, he didn't say anything yet, I didn't want to bring it up yet, it looks like it may not work out.." WHATEVER. but people often aren't in the mood to do that, sadly. Actually, exactly what Kiki said is what he should say instead of everyone just laying low and keeping you hanging, but it's normal these days to be evasive. Keep your options open and don't give up hope during the holidays, people are not in "get things done quickly for people's convenience" mood.

No, I would not say anything at this point, since new years is only 3 days away. Wait till then.

I would be frustrated for sure, but it really sounds like this one is not going to happen for whatever reason. Perhaps your cousin's husband is re-thinking the whole thing. Often it is really bad to mixture pesonal and business. The holidays are busy and people take vacation so perhaps that is why nothing else has been said. However, at any rate, I think it's time to pound the pavement looking for something else.

I think the Brother in law does not want to hire your husband, but can't find a good way to say it. being family, he probably feels obligated to help. I really don't think it's a good idea to involve business and family. Should something go wrong, you'll have ruined both.

I think you guys need to explore other options outside of the family business.