How Did You Adjust to Having Your Second Child?

My first two are 18-months apart so I totally remember feeling that way. It will take a few weeks or even a few months. Hang in there and know that this too shall pass. My kids are now 16 and 17 years old. It goes fast!! I also have 3 others and my youngest is 14 months old. He's giving me the run for my money. Now I know to just hang in there because they change and grow constantly!! HUGS!

You could pump as much as your body will allow you and store the rest in the fridge for later.

My son was formula fed so that was a great help. I kept a thermos "pump" flask next to his crib with warm water, I made ready 3 bottles with just the powder, and kept it near the thermos.... when he woke, I would just pump the warm water into the bottle, shake and feed.. Voalla.. He drank for 20 min, burped him for 5 - 10 min and we all went back to sleep soon after.

Good luck

Oh yes, I can relate. It does take time. It to get into a new routine, and it is much harder to do some of the things with the older child now that you have the little one. I did a lot of parks and the mall (ours has a softplay area).

You mentioned pumping and feeding. I had to do that with my second as well, but I decided that he would be ok getting some formula. I pumped as much as I could during the day and did not pump at night. I put all his bottles in the fridge, so when he woke up in the middle of the night I just grabbed a bottle and fed him. I know many people would be shocked that I didn't warm the bottle. I asked my ped about that, and she said temperature does not matter as long as you don't burn baby or give him a bottle that sat out too long.

I wish I could have given my younger son as much breast milk as his big brother did, but it just wasn't in the cards. I did what I could, and then I tried not to worry about it.

I was in your position about 3 years ago. My husband is a truck driver so the minute both kids were born he was pretty much back to work the next week.
With the second one, IT WAS HARD! I thought my husband was cheating on me...looking back I know I had post partum. My two year old drove me crazy and my infant never slept, had collic and pooped all the time. It was a long tough road. My kids are now 5 and 3, while life is not easy by any means no matter what age, I can tell you it does get better. My 2 year old slept with me, so that the baby didn't wake him up. I did what I had to do at the time. I still to this day look at others with kids that young and don't know how I did it. As they get older, I'm so glad I had them close together, because I am done. My daughter (the 3 year old) just finished potty training and I AM DONE WITH DIAPERS FOR GOOD! (Yes I want to shout it from the roof tops :)) Just keep your head up. I do remember feeling so overwhelmed, there would be times where the baby would not stop crying, my 2 year old was running all over the place...I would put cartoons on in the livving room for the 2 year old, and go lay the baby in her crib with clean diaper, full bellly and a pacifier and go sit in my bathroom for 5-10 minutes and cry. It didn't make anyone stop crying or be less wild, but it let me get some stress out.
You'll get through it, just have patience and trust in yourself!!
Good Luck!

I know your husband has to work, but maybe he could get up on the weekends and even a night or so a week to give you a break. You could just pump and go back to bed while he feeds her? Remember your job at home is just as exhausting (I'd argue MORE) than his. You are both the parents... he needs to help at least enough to give you a break to catch up and get some relief. The other idea is to go to formula (if that is a choice you would consider). I did breastfeed my first, but after 8 weeks with my second was unable to. The change was heartbreaking at first to me as I 'd wanted to BF. HOWEVER, with his formula he was a much happier baby (had some allergic/digestive issues) and I was amazed at how much easier it was for me in some ways. At night, my husband could feed him. During the day others could help. I was "free". Whatever you choose, hang in there, you will survive : )

I scan your post and feel so much empathy for you. I have a 6, 3 and 17 month old, the last 2 being just 20 mos apart. My middle child didn't start sleeping through the night until 4 months after our third arrived. My 17 month old slept through the night for the first time last week. There have been so many days and nights where I didn't think I could continue because of the exhaustion. But somehow one is just able to handle way more than we think. My husband has always been a great help and has gotten up with the toddler while I got up with the newborn, but when he used to travel out of town overnight for up to a week at a time and our youngest was under 6 months, it was just almost unbearable. It gets easier as the kids get older, but being a parent is just the HARDEST job I've ever done. I've worked day and night as a nurse and nurse midwife, but nothing compares to the mental and physical exhaustion of parenting. Wish I could give you a big hug. I'm right there in the trenches with you.

I had twins three weeks after my daughter turned 2. The first six months were a bit of a blur. I was lucky in that we were able to keep my oldest in daycare for several hours a day until recently (I worked until I had the twins). When she was at home with just me and the babies, she watched Dora while I fed them (she wasn't good at playing by herself at that time but now is much better) and we played while the babies slept. I tried to involve her as much as possible - like helping me change diapers. We went to the park for walks and once went to a museum, but that was pretty much it for outings. We also had a lot of meltdowns! There were many days of much TV watching and me laying on the floor. Sometimes I would have her sitting in bed with me while I lay there with my arms wrapped around her so I knew she where she was while I closed my eyes.

The babies started sitting on their own about six months AND sleeping through the night and things got sooo much better. They could sit and play and loved just watching/listening to their big sister. They could be crabby and nothing I did soothed them, but then big sis started singing and they would start laughing. My kids are now 3 and 1 and I finally feel somewhat back to normal. Playdates keep us sane, if you don't have friends at home I recommend going to events through the school district's early childhood center. Sometimes, I just go drive around a bit, even though that is expensive nowadays, just so I have a few minute of peace with no kids climbing on me. We now go to the mall a lot too, to play in the kids area, and are starting to attend free library events. As for how to get through now, it's sort of survival, like I said it was a blur so I can't really remember much! But it is over before you know it. Good luck!

It must be hard. I had my mother there helping after my second. 3 weeks is still so young. Some suggestions would be given in and let your 2 year old watch some TV for a few weeks (if you don't already) I can't imagine it'll hurt him. So you can rest while he watches and the baby naps. See if your husband can go into work late for a couple of weeks so you can sleep in in the morning. Have your husband put the 2 year old to bed at night and go to sleep super early. Is there ANYONE who could take your 2 year old for several hours one day? On weekends, your husband has to take the 2 year old for several hours at least so you can nap and catch up on sleep a bit. Hang in there.

Do you have to, pump and then feed her?
Can you just direct nurse her at the breast?
This is actually better and will make your body produce enough milk.
A pump does not do that.

But yes, as you know, babies do wake at night and need to feed, and on-demand.

Can your Husband, be the one to tend to your 2 year old at night... when she wakes?
Sure he works, but you have a newborn.. and a Husband NEEDS to help too. Even if that means waking at night too.
There are 2 kids now.
When he is home, he can wake too.

Does your 2 year old nap?
If not, try and get a nap routine going.
Over-tired toddlers, get more 'hyper' and they get fussier.

Just do as you can.
Don't feel you have to be "Super Mom" or "Mary Poppins."

You've gotten some great responses- just wanted to ask if you've had any bloodwork done to check your iron levels or thyroid?

Best wishes :o)

Been there, done that!!!! You probably already hear it enough, but you just gotta get through the first year. A 2 year old and a newborn is tough, tough, tough. I remember praying that my baby would nap when the 2 year old did (she refused to help me out on that one) and then once the baby was taking good naps the 2 year old gave them up altogether! So many days I lay on the floor playing Candy Land with her, and I'd fall asleep. Or I'd sleep and read a book to her at the same time - how is that even possible?!? I would finish a book and have NO IDEA what I just read to her. Of course it'll get easier (not always what you want to hear, over and over again) And you saying you should enjoy it is soooooo true!! My girls are now 9 and 7, and I Was just thinking the other day "why didn't I sit back and enjoy it when they were tiny??" Anyway, I know you're exhausted, but you are so not alone. And definitely don't beat yourself for doing things like falling asleep on the couch while one or both of them watch TV. My kids did that, and they are no worse for wear today :)

Our oldest was actually a terrible sleeper, and this will sound bad, but I think because I was already used to the sleep deprivation, the second wasn't too much of an adjustment. Except for the nights when they were both up constantly. I survived on an average of 4-5 hours of sleep for 3.5 years. Just in the last couple of months I've been getting 6-7 and feeling like myself again. That said, I think it took all of my maternity leave - 12 weeks - before I felt like I was in the swing of things and fully adjusted to having another baby. Hang in there!