M.I.
yeah. right.
i was having this issue for a while too. so i know what you are going through..
this is going to be a controversial answer, so i will try to say as little as possible.
its part of your job to do what you are doing.
its normal to feel burnt out, make sure that you are taking time for yourself too, and for your marriage.
this whole feministic idea that men should have to do housework because its not fair that we do it all..... well, thats just plain selfish.
you may not want to do the housework day after day. i understand completely. i dont want to do it either.
but honestly, your husband gets up every morning and goes to work, even if and when he doesnt feel like it. thats a tough job hes got, and im guaranteeing that there are days that he just doesnt want to. but he has to. its part of the way he shows you and the kids that he loves you. he does things he doesnt want to do to earn a living for your family.
in the same sense, you should do the housework without complaint because its part of how you show your husband that you love him. yes, it seems.... 50s housewife-ish but remember the divorce rate was NOT anywhere NEAR where it is today back in the 50s. it may seem that women 'settled' for their position in life, but it was worth it. households had a rhythm, a balance. women now think that men should have to work all day and come home and work all evening, and look at where the divorce rate is! over 50%. sad.
and you know what i found after i gave up trying to make my husband do things? he does them on his own. if im working on dishes, he comes and helps me just to be with me, just to talk to me. he helps me with dinner and with our son - getting him cleaned up and stuff. he always does the garbage without being told. i dont have any more issues with the housework because ive accepted that we all do things we dont want to do, and complaining that all the housework is done by me didnt get me anywhere.
2 books i have been reading that i want to recommend.
created to be his help meet by debi pearl
the proper care and feeding of husbands by laura schlessinger
you can get both these books for less than 10$ (give or take because of shipping) through amazon. they are VERY helpful to the attitude that we all have these days about marriage, and they are tried and true. ive read all of proper care and feeding and it was FANTASTICLY true. i have only started help meet, but it is wonderful! :D instead of feeling used for doing all the work around here, every day i feel fulfilled that i got things done, and the house is running in perfect order. and like i said, my husband almost goes out of his way to help me out. he works in a lumber yard, so his work is active and physical too. but i feel like since ive changed my attitude, hes more willing to be involved in household things.
anyway, heres the link to the books on amazon.
i hope you buy one or both of them and read them. give yourself time and patience, the frustration is not going away overnight. nothing is going to be solved in an instant. and i hope that once you understand whats really important, i hope that your husband is as happy and willing to help as mine is.
its worth a try.
http://www.amazon.com/Created-Be-His-Help-Meet/dp/1892112...
http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/006...
ps, i notice that you have some older children... you should ABSOLUTLY be allowing them to help and they should DEFINATLY have responsibilities. dont check up on them - dont do it for them - and dont do it over after they have done it. it might not be done perfectly but its going to be easier on you if you have some help from the kids. its their responsibility to help in your household! :D
good luck.
write me if you have any questions or anything..