So my son is going to be 3yrs old next Sunday and still uses his pacifier.. I took it away from him a couple of months ago and he didn't use it for like 4 days and by the third day didn't really ask for it but one night my fiancé gave it back to him !! And now he screams and cries over it and I can't get him to stop using I don't know what to do I'm going crazy !!! I need help !!
So , some of you moms suggested the "paci fairy" in my sons case the "bobo fairy" method (he calls the pacifier bobo) so earlier he was playing around the house using the very last pacifier we had and lost it we couldn't find it anywhere so I as like you know what this actually perfect no bobo tonight I told him the bobo fairy had to take his bobo because she was going to buy him a Batman robot instead he was happy to hear that but he still insisted I have him the bobo but of course we don't know where it isn't so no can do .. after winning and crying a little he was too tired to stay up so he fell asleep it's 11:57 right now and he's been sleeping since 9:00 I'm praying he sleeps till 7-8am at least let's see how this goes I'll check back in tomorrow!!!
Is it causing health or developmental issues that need to be treated?
If not, then stop worrying about it and he will let go of it in his own time.
If so, then simply throw away all the pacis and use distraction and ignoring for the fallout for a few days until it passes.
We took our 3rd daughter's binky away from her when she was 3 (she was the only kid that got attached to one - the rest weaned themselves around the time we ditched the bottle). Yep, she screamed. Yep, it was a tough weekend. Know what? She doesn't even remember (she is 20 now). This is WAY more traumatic for you than it is your child.
Buck up, throw them in the garbage, and move on. Oh, tell fiance' that if he gives it back again, you will put his nuts in a mason jar on top of the fridge for safe keeping.
This, too, shall pass.
My daughter had a hard time giving up the pacifier. Since your fiancé is the type to give in you have to get rid of EVERY single paci in the house...throw them out. I had to comfort her, rub her back, give her her favorite stuffed animal and cuddle with her. She was very upset every bedtime for about 3 weeks. Then she was over it and done. Most kids don't take that long...she was persistent. I threw them out so we could not give in. You just have to be more persistent than your kid. It sucks. But you have to suck it up and just do it. (I had friends who told their child it was time to give their pacifiers to the "paci fairy". The paci fairy then leaves them a little gift (like a soft stuffed animal to snuggle with) on their bed. But again, DO throw away ALL pacifiers so you can't give in.)
Throw them all in the garbage and get them out of the house. When your son asks for one tell him you don't know where they are and go look for them together. Look everywhere he wants to look and then tell him that they seem to be all gone. When he starts to scream and cry when he wants one tell him you'll look for them together. Lather rinse repeat.
You could try collecting all the pacifiers in the house and throwing them away. If they are out of the house, there will be no temptation for you or your fiance. It could (but might not) be a rough day or two, but it really could be ok. When I had to take my son's bottle away, I thought we were going to be in for a rough couple of nights. He shocked me by accepting a sippy cup, and we never looked back. (I haven't been so lucky with everything. Just saying, sometimes it's not as bad as we think it's going to be.)
If you don't want to try going cold turkey, there are other things you could try. Some friends of ours said they poked holes in their son's pacifier. When he sucked on it, it didn't give him the same feeling. he didn't like it, so he didn't request it anymore. At first I thought that sounded mean. Then I realized that while they did trick him, it was "his decision" to not use the pacifier anymore. Since it was his idea, it worked.
Your son will wean himself sooner or later by watching other kids in his age group not using a pacifier. I personally did not prefer to go to those dramas with my 2 kids.
These are phases. He is growing out of it. You can offer a toy or a blanket if you think it helps him.
However, if you fear that some people will criticize you using still a pacifier just don't worry and let your child decide when he is ready to move on.
Many years ago I had a son aged two and plus who was attached to Binky. All were gone but two and one of those had the nipple fall off onto the floor. He cried and I checked on him and he pointed to the nipple on the floor. I recall saying to him, "Oh, my, Binky died." I said it in a sad and empathetic way and he let it go. There was crying for a couple of nights but that was it.
You have to both be on the same page and just get through the crying and move forward. The longer you delay, the longer it will take to end the need for the pacifier.
the other S.
PS My son is now 44 years old and does not remember Binky.
Hmm.
Your fiancee created the problem.
When child screams - hand the child to your fiancee and you go to bed.
?
It was just a thought.
Most people will cut a small hole in the binky and it won't be so much fun to use anymore.
When you took it away before you should have thrown them all away - that way they couldn't have come back by accident.
I really do think that your fiancee (I'm assuming he's the kids father?) should be reaping the consequences of his actions.
Ugh so frustrating because he was there!! If the pacifier is for him to relax maybe take him to a toy store and let him pick something out to relax with. Maybe a pillow pet! Or a soft blanket he likes. Explain that
he needs to give up his pacifier so that the next baby born can have one. Good luck! As my mom told me..."he's not going to walk down the wedding isle with it!" Best to you!
I wouldn't worry about it too much. He needs to suck? If he doesn't have his pacifier then he'll pick up thumb sucking or even sucking on a toy or blanket.
You can take it away too, but if your boyfriend is going to give it to him to get him to stop crying or to get him to go to sleep then you can forget taking it away until your boy is ready.
You could make some doable rules. Like he can only have it at nap time or bed time. Then he has to be on the bed to have it. If he gets up he has to hand it over.
Those are things that will help him decide to give it up too. He'll get tired of laying on the bed and want to go play toys or watch TV or go outside.
Saw your SWH - hope you had a good night!
We had to force my middle son off of his binky when he was almost 3.5 years old. He really wanted a Build a Bear and we told him that it's only for big kids and he was still a baby because he used the pacifier. He was all kinds of brave during the day ("I'm a big boy, I don't need that, the binky fairy can take them") and all hell broke loose at night. The first night was the worst, with hours of begging, whimpering and crying and lots of "I know it's hard but you can do this" from us. Night two was some fussing, night three was a teeny bit and that was it. By the weekend, he was excited to make his Build a Bear and we were finally over this. Hang in there - the first few nights are tough but they get over it!
Well first, you need to tell your fiance that he has to run things by you before he undoes a developmental milestone that you are working on with your child. And the second thing you do is take ALL the paci's in the house and throw them away. OR you cut the end off of one of them and let him have it,, and throw the others away. When he fusses, tell him that it's broken. Every day, cut a little bit more off of it, until it's just a nub. Don't do any of this in front of him.
If you decide to change something up in regards to your child, tell you fiance so that he doesn't screw it up. You two need to be on the same page about this child!
