How Do People Fit in Extracurriculars?

Updated on January 04, 2015
H.H. asks from San Clemente, CA
34 answers

Now that my baby (1.5) is transisitoning from 2 to 1 nap, I was hoping to get my 2 older girls (4 and 7) more involved in some enrichment programs. Gymnastics seems like a good fit for us, but as I was looking at the schedule of classes, I'm just not seeing anything that could work well into our lives. The classes start at 3-4:30 and 4:30- 6:00. Her school is out at 3 so thats out, and I need that hour, or at least a half before dinner to prep. The baby is little, so you know, eating on time is kind of critical. We aren't a ready-made dinner kind of family. I cook real food and that takes some time. I have guilt that my kids aren't more involved and weekends are out as far as classes are concerned. I'm just not sure how it is that everyone keeps their kids so involved. What gives? Do you not have family dinner? Do you get take out? I feel like I"m missing something here.

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So What Happened?

I'd love to give up "elaborate "dinners. My husband and I went plant based almost two years ago. Yes I know the ease of using chicken and cheese, but those days are over. He had high cholesterol and was able to lower it 60 pts giving up meat and dairy. But as you can imagine, I now have to cook mostly from scratch and do a lot of chopping, soaking, and cooking. I wish it were something we could give up, but the truth is that we both have so much more energy on the diet, and for my husband it really is a matter of life and death. I need to get more organized, thats for sure.

Its also possible i feel too much pressure to get them advancing in special skills. Most people who are really good at something started it by the time they were 4 or 5. Maybe I need to just let it go?
________
I'm glad to see that many of you maintain healthy eating while keeping kid involved. I was suprised when my SIL told me that her family never had dinner together because of their 3 kids and their sports practice and game schedules. So I'm glad to see that many of you still manage to make it work. Food prep is no by any means the only thing that takes up my time. I still breast feed and drive my daughter to private school 15 miles from our home at 4 trips a day. I just know when something needs to give , its often diet. Our choice of diet takes a lot of detection and I get that that does not appeal to all. But I"m glad to hear that many of you still make it all work. I need to work at being more organized so I can make it all work too. thanks for your feedback.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Can you take one day a week to make a week's worth of entrees and freeze them?
I used to do that, and it made things easier.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Always have a pot of beans going in the crock pot (or some other vegan stew or chili).
As far as activities go - just start the oldest.
The other can start when she's close to 7 yrs old and so on for the youngest.

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M.P.

answers from Glens Falls on

I cook every night as well. We have one night a week where my son has a class, and on that night I just make dinner ahead of time, before school is out, or I make a double batch the night before to reheat the next day.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Prep dinner before class

8 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You have all day to "prep" for dinner.
I had three very active kids, and we ate "real" food, and rarely ordered out (mostly because I like my own cooking better than take out.)
Making sauces, chopping veges, preparing soups and stews and casseroles to be heated up within minutes is EASY. I did all this in spurts throughout the day. If everything is prepped and chopped you can have a stir fry, pasta or rice dish on the table in ten minutes.
It's really not that hard, you just need to plan ahead and be organized.
You could also freeze some meals (cook twice as much and freeze half) though I was never THAT organized.

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E.B.

answers from Austin on

My opinion is that at the ages that your girls are, a lot of extracurricular activities aren't super important. I wouldn't feel guilty that they're not taking classes or on teams yet. There's lots of time for them to grow and figure out what they'd like to learn, or like to improve upon.

However, I'd consider that enrichment, such as you're seeking, can be accomplished right at home. The girls can begin to cook with you, and do simple kitchen tasks. There are lots of kid-safe tools and kids' cookbooks. That's a great place to start since healthy real food is important to you. Let them make a special, simple, dessert once a week, like homemade chocolate pudding from scratch, or a crust for little individual pies, or cookies, and put them in charge of planning ingredients, measuring - everything except the dangerous hot stove parts. They can spend a few evenings choosing their dessert, and planning how to make it. Teach them how to bake bread. They'll learn cooking techniques and terms and spend wonderful time with you.

Not everyone has their little kids in paid extracurricular lessons. Some simply plan great family-centered activities, like going for a bike ride, or walking on a trail. There will be lots of time as the kids get older that they'll join teams, groups, clubs and organizations. The kind of enrichment that you get from solid family time, from making a meal together from real foods and healthy ingredients, from simply taking a walk together, can be invaluable.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think that preparing great food for your family sounds way better than a bunch of activities! let go of the guilt- just keep your eyes open for a program whose times work better for you. or go for the 4:40-6 class, and pre-prepare one meal per week so that it's ready to go. and surely the baby can eat on go from time to time.
this is totally do-able.
but don't feel guilty for taking the time to fix good food and have regular family dinners!
khairete
S.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I wonder if you can give yourself, and the kids, a break and not rush it with the scheduled activities. Mamapedia is just loaded with posts from parents who sign their kids up for stuff (gymnastics, soccer, tee ball, karate, piano) and the are frustrated with a) the runaround and b) the expense and c) the kid's reluctance to go every week. Getting a 4 year old or even a 7 year old to have energy from 4:30 to 6 PM is a battle you will lose! Even 3 PM is a lot (although I know it overlaps with school anyway) - they are tired, they want to "do something" but not necessarily be structured again after the school day.

I know that you see a lot of parent talking about kids "being good at something" because they started young, but honestly, lots of kids are never good at something, and others are perfectly skilled even starting late. The people who run the programs of course want your money earlier so they will tell you that your child will miss the boat if she doesn't start at age 4. But is it really true?

99% of kids are just NOT going to go into professional sports as a career, so the early start is immaterial. Those who truly love something will perhaps join "travel" teams and then the parents are on the go every single weekend. My neighbor has 3 kids, and her calendar was color coordinated very early on so that each child could get to the appropriate place at the appropriate time. One kid had hockey at 5 AM, another had band at 4 PM, another had scouts in the evening. No one ever ate a meal together, and most of the college savings went to the fast food drive through.

99% of kids are not going to college on an athletic scholarship either. Those rarely exist - everything is need-based or academic, or both.

My kid played in the neighborhood (lots of kids to choose from even when some had activities on certain days), and play dates maybe once a week. We went to the science museum and the library, we went on nature hikes, he rode his bike and roller bladed, he built forts in the woods behind the house, and so on. He was allowed 1 scheduled/paid activity per week of his choice (usually he alternated between soccer and basketball), and 1 of my choice (religious education). I would have allowed him to do tae kwon do or karate, pretty much anything, but he wasn't wildly interested. I wasn't going to pay money and then have him quit, but he wasn't really that passionate about anything.

Meantime he did all kinds of creative things, he made elaborate car/train set-ups in the basement, he made birdhouses, the kids played frisbee and went on the swing set, etc.

He didn't do anything really organized other than an occasional enrichment series at the school (eliminating the need for a lot of carpooling), and then there was a little bit of cross country running in middle school. In high school, he joined the track team, and that's when he blossomed. He turned into a top runner (setting records, blah blah) with no practice other than running around the neighborhood. By 9th grade, he was really ready to focus, and he was ready to do something every day. I think giving him the time to develop and choose was critical. He certainly doesn't feel that he missed out on anything because he wasn't spending his days in the car trying to make a schedule.

He wasn't totally idle, mind you - he mowed lawns and he walked neighborhood dogs, fed guinea pigs and fish, picked up mail and packages, and did a variety of things for many neighbors. He turned it into a little business, complete with financial records and invoicing of customers, and that entrepreneurial experience for 8 years looked great on his college applications. He learned to talk to adults and work out arrangements, schedule assignments, and be responsible. And he got into better colleges than most of the kids who were highly scheduled their whole lives, and not because of his grades. His all-around development, his confidence and his resourcefulness were in much greater demand than his grades and his list of too-many activities.

If you talk to teachers, they really wish more kids did what my kid did - free time, down time, creative time. If you talk to college admissions staff, they really wish kids could manage their own time and not just do things because they are on the schedule that someone else makes them adhere to.

So I don't think there's any benefit to really signing kids up super early for anything expensive that also messes with your schedule. I think a from-scratch dinner is a great gift to give them! They can also help in varying stages and according to their abilities, and they can still have fun in the yard, neighborhood and with some play dates that aren't completely scripted. You can get all kinds of great info for enrichment activities at your local library or teacher store or on line. Home schooling parents do it all the time, and you will have much more freedom because you aren't meeting curriculum guidelines.

I do think you can use the summer months for programs, especially swimming lessons (which I think are critical) and some morning day camp or scout camp activities, graduating to full day programs for older kids, for at least a part of the summer. There's plenty to do that will fit into a schedule.

Meantime an occasional "field trip" to a children's museum or a science center, the aquarium, the vastly underutilized resources of the public library system, and maybe some town recreation programs, or programs at the Y, can fill in with great success.

Remember that enrichment doesn't have to mean sports - there are music and drama programs, art and more. But again, signing a young child up for lessons and things that have a whole lot of waiting around (rehearsals, practice drills, etc.) doesn't usually pay off until kids are older.

If you need a break, you can hire a very energetic high school or college student to come to the house once a week to do a project or a craft with the kids, take them hiking, play ping pong, etc. There are plenty of kids looking for activities to boost their own activity resumes or their wallets, kids who are creative and interested in early childhood activities, and more. Most high school guidance offices will advertise jobs for you (and they know the kids), and colleges have on line registries where you can say what you are looking for.

So don't feel pressured. You have plenty of time. And don't get railroaded by anyone who says you aren't doing right by your kids if you don't have them signed up for something all the time.

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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

I agree with Dianne B. If you would like an interesting book to read I suggest The Hurried Child. One of the detriments the book talks about is that a child is so busy because of over scheduling they can have difficulty figuring out what they're good at or more importantly what their passion is.

I play the guitar. Started in 7th grade. My daughter at 14 asked me to teach her. I started mid November and let her borrow my guitar. By Christmas it was obvious she was seriously interested in playing so she got a new guitar for Christmas. She plays every day. She has an instructor now and never has to be reminded to practice. I would've very happily taught her earlier but she wasn't interested. I LOVE music. I wanted her to love it and not be forced into it.

We homeschool. We don't have activities scheduled because we travel extensively in our business. We frequently visit museums, zoos, historical places. We are headed to Alaska the end of January. I already have info on glacier tours and dog sledding tours. We are pretty unconventional. Will it be detrimental to my kids that they didn't have organized sports and other activities planned for them? Sometimes I wonder about it. Sometimes I wonder that because we're not home much their lives are different. They've been in 35 states and seen a lot of things most kids only read about.

Blessings!
L.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

It does get very busy. People sacrifice long dinner prep time, don't eat quite as early (we never eat till 7:00 anyway bc of when my husband gets home), or make dinner earlier in the day so it's just a matter of reheating. That's mostly what we do. My sister uses the crock pot a lot and gets it all going in the morning. People who do activities almost every day amaze me but when it's just one or two nights a week, it's doable. Just more hectic. I'd think you could manage one class a week. Dinner is an easy one that night. Doesn't have to mean it's not healthy... An hour and 1/2 for a 4 year old for gymnastics seems long though. It's even long for a 7 year old who hasn't done it before. Our classes around here were always 50-60 minutes. Maybe you can find another program.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Why are weekends out? That would be a perfect time.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Make dinner in advance the afternoon of their activities before you get then from school or have left overs. Also feed the baby a snack before and or during their activity

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

You could meal plan and prep on Sundays, including chopping/washing all vegetables. Then whatever day you have your activity just make sure the meal can be ready or almost ready in short time. And really, there are lots of plant based meals you can make ahead. :)

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also have a 4 and 7 year old and a baby. I definitely have to give up on the delicious dinners I want to cook at least one night a week, sometimes two, to be able to get my girls to sports, dance, and girl scouts.

Here is what I do on afternoons we have activities:
-leave something hubby knows how to cook and tell him to have it ready for when we get home
-eat something simple that takes 5 min to make when we get home, like sandwiches, quesadillas, scrambled eggs, fruit and cereal...
- drop off older daughter at activity, go home and make dinner, eat it after we pick her up again
- drop off older daughter at activity, go with younger two to pick up food at a not-so-fast food place (an in-between like Chipotle, Panera, Baja Fresh or something)
- (gasp) order a pizza or pick up something fast on the way home.

I am like you, I love to cook a delicious elaborate meal for my family. And I love keep a schedule. I like to eat no later than 6, which means I need to start cooking around 5. But I have to be real with a family of five, that can't happen every night. Many activities keep us out past 5. Plus I work so it's not like I can even get it prepped sometime during the day.

Also, the baby... he kinda has to just adjust to our schedule (10 months old), and yet at the same time he can do his own thing if he needs to eat without us that's ok.

Are there activities on Saturday? If you really don't want to give up your weeknight routine that is a good option.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Like someone posted below: Why not a Saturday or Sunday class for your oldest child? Have you checked out weekend classes at your local parks and recreation department, your local YWCA and YMCA, libraries, etc.? Or are you basing this just on what one private gymnastics studio says? There are a lot of options out there if you look; don't let one place's schedule stop you. But DO be sure that whatever you choose is what your child wants -- you mention "gymnastics seems like a good fit" but don't say if that's a fit for your schedule or a fit for your child's real and strong interest in it.

I would have just the oldest one do a class you and dad and she choose together, on a weekend. And then have DAD take her each week! Excellent father-daughter time and you get more time with the other kids without her there -- all kids need some time without their siblings around or with as few around as possible.

If you can, let dad take oldest girl to her class each weekend, and each weekend you take the four-year-old to a mom and me class like the excellent "Music Together" program while dad has the baby and seven-year-old. You will still have plenty of family weekend time together and the older girls each get some one on one parent time.

Also, you speak as if both older kids must do the same activity -- please don't go that route. It sets them up to compete at it, or it means they'd be in different age groups for that same class and you would have to wait with one while the other does her class.....Let each girl do something she wants to do rather than finding one activity for both. And yes, it means more running around, but that's why the weekend option is good for now. Your four-year-old can do without, but I'd let the seven-year-old start something fun now.

NOT all classes are year-long commitments -- seek out ones that are six or 10 weeks long, not September to June! The shorter term classes let kids taste new things instead of being in just one activity for months on end. At their ages, the shorter term commitments are better. If one girl falls in love with an activity, then you consider the longer-term versions.

I wanted to add -- you can eat the way you describe but without letting it dictate your entire schedule so much. Why not prep in advance? And why not use options that are portable for you and the kids and also things dad can grab from the fridge -- like whole wheat tortillas stuffed with beans and veggies?

Unlike some folks on MP I am in favor of kids having some kind of class or activity though you don't have to overdo it. Do be sure to take your girls (again, one of you takes--the other stays with the baby or baby plus four-year-old) to museums and kids' activities at the libraries and so on as well. Don't think just in terms of activities that bundle both older kids together and let you bring baby too; dad needs to make this part of his week as well, frankly, and --I have to say it -- all of you will not suffer if your kids have a meal in the car once in a while. There, I said it. That meal can be as healthy as you like, just packed up and carried along. It will not destroy family time or undermine family dinners! But it won't come up for a long time if your girls do weekend activities and you and dad embrace that time with them.

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Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

You have to decide if gymnastics is more (or equally) important than a sit down dinner with your family. For me, skipping one family dinner a week isn't a big deal but you may feel differently. I would just feed the 18 month old before going and/or pack a snack to take along or I would get a babysitter to stay with the youngest until dad or I were available. Whomever got home first would make dinner for everyone else.

We have gymnastics from 5 to 6 once a week and on that night we have a simple meal or use the crock pot or everyone just eats what they want. We dont normally eat until 6:30ish so pushing it to 6:45 is doable. We are transitioning into plant based eating (though not vegetarian just plants as the main course; we are fine with dairy) and I have cooked from scratch for years. I think the key is to plan ahead.

The other key is to find something that fits your schedule. Gymnastics doesn't fit but how about swimming, music, art, dance, library programs, etc. We do extracurriculars for enjoyment, not so we become the best at something. We don't care if we can't make a goal, soccer is still fun.

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

how many days a week is gymnastics. If its just one night a week I wouldn't be too concerned. We have some seasons where I only have one down day. I will do crock pot meals where it will be ready right when we step foot in the door. Or if I know we will be out I will do my own sub sandwiches for them to eat on the way. Cook extras on weekends to create easy heat meals when you get home. Pretty soon the kids will be doing their homework in the car on the way to and from practices (at least this is how we hammer out the reading homework) We will usually go out for fast food about 1 time a week on the busiest night of the week but other than that I will cook and figure out how to have it ready when we get done. I hate eating dinner after 7 but sometimes it is what has to happen. Im just really glad that my kids don't start school until 9am so that way they dont have to rush home and get straight to bed. My husband works most evenings so its just the kids and I getting to and from places. If he is home and can help out he will take the kids to practice and I can stay home and cook so its ready when they get home. It is stressful but it gets done.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Do an extracurricular that's only one or two days a week. Surely you can fit that in.

And it's not true that people who are really good at things all start at 4 or 5. By that logic, your kids will never have extracurricular activities. Besides, it's not all about being a superstar at whatever activity they are involved in.

One extracurricular per kid is a good idea.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

We kind of stumbled on our city's community center, and it is a GREAT option for us! They offer a ton of different classes, they are usually short-term (6-8 weeks), and they are often planned around a working parent's schedule. They are also very reasonably priced and a great way to try out a few things to see what your kids like. For us, we only wasted $40 to find out our oldest hates soccer, and we weren't committed to a whole season's worth of games and practices. SImilarly, we found out that he likes basketball, but isn't very good at it. We sign him up every so often for another 6 week stretch, he plays for fun, no big deal if he isn't a superstar. We had practice 1 evening a week and a game each Saturday, but it was only for 6 weeks, so it wasn't hard to make it work.

If you really are in San Clemente, here is an example:
https://secure.san-clemente.org/rec/Activities/Activities...

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Does your local school district have a community ed program? We did things through ours when our kids were little. For the 4 year old they would probably have classes during the day. Most of the classes we did met for 1-6 weeks. They are designed for young kids so most classes are only 30-60 min once a week. We did swimming, dance, art, and gymnastics. Now that both kids are in school we do some that meet right after school for about 90 minutes. They just have to walk down to the art room and I pick them up when it is over. Again, they meet for just 1-6 weeks so there isn't a big time commitment. And we only do it a few times during the year.

Does your 4 year old go to preschool? That might be enough at that age. How about Girl Scouts (or the equivalent) for your older daughter? Troops usually only meet 1-2 times a month. Many meet right after school.

Am I understanding that the gymnastics classes are an hour and a half? Wow! That is long for that age! My 7 year old is in her 2nd year of gymnastics and her classes are only an hour one day a week. My son is 5 and his classes are only an hour. Hour long classes don't even start for kids at our gym until they are 5 or show some darn good skills for competition! My 5 year old is dead tired at the end of an hour. Half the time he crashes on the way home and his class goes from 4-5. We could pay for more class time a week, but it would be too much for us. Seriously, I wouldn't even consider a gymnastics class that was 90 minutes for kids that age.

Even with a plant based diet, you can probably find some good crockpot recipes--veggie soup, lentil soup, vegetarian lasagna (assuming you eat pasta), etc. You can do all the prep work in the morning, throw it in the crockpot in the late morning/early afternoon, and have it ready when you walk in the door.

I used to have that guilty feeling that my kids weren't playing soccer, playing t-ball, swimming, taking Spanish classes, playing piano and violin, involved in every class that was available. Then I decided, my kids weren't that excited about it, we did a ton of fun stuff as a family, they could learn Cambodian at home from Daddy and kick the soccer ball around in the backyard with him. Why did I need to pay for all the other stuff? Now, we do Sunday School, gymnastics, and my daughter does Girl Scouts. Throw in a special class 1-2 times a year. That's enough for us right now. And I think my kids are pretty well rounded and a lot less stressed than some kids I know (like my niece).

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Can you make enough one night to have leftovers for the following night? Most sports, including gymnastics, are 1-2 nights per week. So if you cook five nights, you could have leftovers the other two nights and make it work. You could also pre-chop and wash your veggies, so all that was left when you got home was the actual cooking. It definitely takes some planning, but you can make it work.

When my son had soccer this fall, I would make him (and my daughter) go shower as soon as we got home from practice. I prepped and started cooking dinner while they were in the shower, so that even though we ate dinner a little later than usual, bedtime stayed the same because the shower happened first. You could have your older girls shower right after gymnastics (maybe you could run up to help with their hair if needed, that's what I did for my four year old) and make dinner while they shower.

The baby could eat at gymnastics the one or two nights a week that you're there. I totally get the importance of family dinners, but if the baby needs to eat separately a couple of nights a week to make everything else work, that's not such a big deal. five nights a week is still great!

We do sometimes get takeout after practice. Even if you got it for the kids and made something healthier for your husband, that would be ok, too.

My son typically has one sport at a time plus cub scouts, so we have at least a couple afternoons each week, sometimes more, that we aren't home. He generally does his homework right after school on the days that he has sports later so that he doesn't need to do the homework later in the evening when he's more tired.

The little one(s) will adapt to being dragged around. My daughter has been going to my son's practices since she was four months old. It's hectic, but the kids love their activities and we've always made it work.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

We have always done lots of extra-curriculars. I usually look for something after dinner. I like to cook from scratch too. I prepare dinner from 4:00-5:00pm, we eat and get to evening activities for 6 or 7:00pm. Sometimes though, we have to have take, left-overs or sandwiches because of our schedule. Once or twice a week won't hurt.

Why don't you cook double the night before gymnastics and eat left-overs before going to the 4:30 session.

Why are weekends out?

When my kids were little we mostly did drop-in activities at the Y as opposed to registered classes, so it we went at our convenience. We just usually went every day after supper and joined whatever activity they were offering.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

My kids have been in karate for a long while. They started in groups that met from about 4:50-5:40, but as they became more advanced the class sessions got later. Now they've gone from 7:00-8:00 or later. I also cook at home. When they had early classes we ate later, and when they had later classes we ate earlier.

You basically need a flexible mealtime schedule. Having the whole family revolve around the baby's needs isn't practical, so feed him/her when they need to be fed. They can still joint the family at the table for socializing when the rest of you are eating.

Sometimes the activity schedule is simply not possible. There was a public library group my kids wanted to be in during elementary school, but it met at 3pm on weekdays. The elementary schools in my district don't get out for the day until 3:35pm! I wonder if they ever figured out why no kids signed up for that group.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

ETA: Plant-based can be just as convenient. You sound like you are using cooking as an excuse. It's not. Chop up your veggies, soak your beans and nuts, marinate your tofu, etc. and then get home and cook it. Lots of vegetarian and vegan crock pot options and bakes too. So, figure out where the resistance is...are you just not ready to give up cozy nights at home? Are you and your kids perfectly content with what you already do? If so, there's nothing wrong with that and no rush! There will be other activities that might be a better fit...girl scouts, after-school clubs, art classes, music, etc. Your town's recreation department probably has activities that coincide better with the end of the school day. Also, you will eventually have to open up your weekends to activities. There's just no way you're going to get around Saturday morning soccer or ballet, etc. Not something you have to do now, but you can't say weekends are off the table forever. If it doesn't feel right, right now, then wait until the right activity comes along that fits your kids and your schedule.

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It's an adjustment, but you get used to it. On days with activities, you prep your meal in advance so that you just heat and eat when you get home. The crock pot is great for these kinds of meals. You still cook real food, but you just plan more and cook in advance and then finish and serve when you get home.

I'm assuming that you are home during the day? If so, this shouldn't be heavy lifting as you have time earlier in the day to tee up dinner, so it's a schedule shift but not a ridiculous amount of work. My husband and I both work, and I teach evening classes seasonally, and we have 4 school-age kids who all have sports and activities. What I did from September to mid-November this year, when I was teaching and my husband was shuttling 1 or 2 kids to hockey or the gym in the evening, was spend 4 hours on Sunday prepping and planning for the week. In the morning before leaving for work I would either dump something in the crock pot or prep something that could be baked for 30 minutes (which my teenagers could put in the oven) and tee up the sides (veggies to steam, rice pilaf to be heated up, tortillas to be warmed, etc.) and that way when my husband walked in the door and had 30 minutes or less to put dinner on the table and have everyone eat, they could all sit down to a real meal before heading out for activities, even if I wasn't home.

Also cook once and eat twice - roast a chicken on a slow night at home, then on a busy night, saute some peppers and onions in tex-mex seasonings or fajita sauce, throw the chicken in to warm, and serve with warm tortillas, veggies, salsa and cheese. Or make a big pan of lasagne and freeze half, etc.

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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

We both work and have 4 activities going on with the kids, but we manage to cook real food 6 nights a week and eat together. You just plan ahead and adjust dinnertime and prep time accordingly. Some prep of veggies and things have to be done during the morning or a day before. Music and some sports practices are only an hour, so it's fairly easy to make time for those and still work in cooking. Most of our activities seem to fall after dinner now, which is easier, surprisingly. We do have Martial Arts 2 times a week from 4-4:45 and 5:15-6, but we adjust dinner on those days. The other classes are after dinner, so we eat a little earlier. We also do 3 hours or so on the weekends, for sports games, but that didn't really start up until my kids were around age 5-6 and starting baseball, soccer and hockey. Since you work (or you'd be cooking and prepping during the day), you will need to plan ahead and do things the night before or in the AM before work. Crockpots can help for one meal a week too. Or, just relax and don't worry about activities. With our kids we felt like we needed to get them involved in activities, but if yours are happy not doing them, don't rush it.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have learned to be flexible and so have my kids. We always eat dinner together but sometimes it doesn't happen until 7:30 pm. Even little ones can learn to be flexible with dinner time, just have healthy snacks on hand to help him wait for dinner.

The alternative for us is to eat at separate times, but I've decided that having family dinner every night is more important than what time that happens.

Other things that help: 1) deciding in advance what will be for dinner so if I'm not home to start the prep, DH does it. 2) making big batches of stuff on weekends. Today I made a triple batch of bean soup that I can get at least 4 meals from, just by adding some fresh bread (set up in breadmaker before I leave for work).

ETA: even better that you are still nursing. That means you have your baby's dinner ready and easy to serve while you are waiting at gymnastics. Nurse him while the girls are in the class and he doesn't have to wait for dinner!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What Elena B says. If you really feel the 7 year old needs something, can she take the bus from school to an extra-curricular once or twice a week and you just pick her up. Our local community center runs after school classes (art, sports, dance) and has a bus that picks the kids up from the two local elementary schools. We just pick my son up from his aftercare program when we are done with work. I would NOT give up family dinners for extra-curricular activities at that age. High school maybe - age 4 and 7 - no way.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

ETA

You truly sound like the ONLY important thing is fixing dinner. Seriously. It's not that hard. Do some of it during the day. Chop stuff some other day or time of day.

I truly cannot imagine life, my whole life, revolving around fixing dinner. Eat later. Eat earlier then take the kids to activities. Rearrange your life a bit.

I think your life is all about food. That's not a good example either.

*********************************

No, we just adjust our schedules and dinner isn't our #1 priority.

We do a snack right after school, kids need a small meal with lots of protein NOT lots of carbs. The carbs can spoil dinner but the protein gets used up pretty quickly.

Then we can be at gym, tumbling, piano, and basketball by 4. Then when we get done we run any errands we need to and go home. I fix a lot of stuff ahead of time. There's no way I could boil chicken to make broth, bone all the chicken, then make noodles or dumplings.

So I boil the chicken on Saturday. That gives me plenty of time to let the broth cool a bit so I can put it in the fridge overnight. I can skim the fat right off the top then pour it into gallon zip lock bags and lay them flat in the freezer. I cut/shred/cube the chicken and divide it up into pint or quart size zip lock bags. I use Reamus frozen egg noodles for chicken and noodles and use biscuits for dumplings.

When I have chicken and noodles planned for dinner I only have to get out the right size pot, peel the plastic bag off the broth and drop it in the pan then turn the fire on high. While that is coming to a boil I get a quart size baggie of chicken and add it to the now runny broth.

When it's boiling good I add the dumplings or frozen noodles. When they are cooked we have a delicious mostly home made meal. It usually takes around 30 minutes from the time I walk in. Dumplings take half the time but the frozen noodles take about 20-25 minutes to cook.

I have made meatloaf on the weekends and frozen it in individual size portions. Pop it in the oven or microwave and reheat it and it's done. Add veggies and you have a good meal.

There are tons of short cuts you can take.

You can also do less cooking meals. Salads, chicken salad sandwiches, tuna salad sandwiches, stuff like that.

There's no reason you can't budget you time well. You might just need to rethink the meals on those particular evenings.

We do class on 4 days of the week at 4pm. Wednesday is the only day we eat out because we don't get home until nearly 9pm. I usually have pizza delivered by Pizza Hut or some other food delivery business.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Preplan meals so that you don't spend so much time in the kitchen. Leftover nights are good for nights you have something else going on, or teach DH to cook! What we do is pick 1 thing per semester, and if my DD is going to do Garden Club, she won't be also doing dance. We are not an overscheduled family. There are also park and rec programs that meet regularly (like Saturday mornings at the local botanical garden) that are drop in as you can. Those can be great outings without the dinner time problem. Also, how flexible is your DH's work? Could he help transport kids to/from while you put your feet up or make dinner?

Also, think about your goal. If your goal is to have the next Olympian, then throw everything out the window in lieu of training and competitions. But if your goal is really just to have fun, then find what works. My DD takes dance, but isn't going to be competitive about it, and I'm just not going to worry. I'll expose her to it, or ice skating, or anything else she wants to try and see what HER dreams are. If they are driven by me, then she won't have the love of the thing needed to really achieve.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think the push for extracurriculars is silly.

I cook from scratch, whole foods as much as possible. I have taco night for my quick night option. I cook bulk, freeze, and then microwave. Stir fry is quick, as are a million other things. I do my prep right after breakfast everyday.

With that said, you may need to wait another year. Your LO can't be eating at 6:30, no matter how you cut it.

Why not a Saturday morning class? That's what I do for my oldest.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I feel bad for kids that are over scheduled. Maybe you could do 1 afternoon & eat leftovers on that night?!?!

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

What about Saturday? Can't they take a class or do an activity then?

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Community soccer here is on Saturday mornings. O. practice O. evening per week.
Your girls will be on different teams (different practices) but at least both games will be Saturday.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

When my kids were little I did the cooking from scratch. In fact I even made a meal plan for the month (got paid once a month). There were five weeks worth of meals and at some point the bonus week meals were incorporated into the regular meals depending on the meat available. Extra was made of sauces, chili, and soups and frozen for later in the month. Leftover night was usually Sat or it could be Fri depending on the amount.

Getting all the extra pre prepping done is great. Just bag up what is needed for said meal and label it and put in frig. If you are still nursing you don't have to worry about when baby eats as you are always there. You just worry about the older girls, dad and you.

Finding something for each girl to do separately might take a bit of time but it is doable. They should never feel that they are joined at the hip in order to do activities as they are individuals with different likes and dislikes. Check out schedules and see what fits your home schedule and make it work.

It is gets a bit trickier when they play sports and have several practices that you must attend and the Sat am game at 7. That' s when breakfast is after the game and the whole day is upside down for several months.
When son graduated high school I think that was my last going to a football game. Daughter did other sports for a bit but nothing as long as her brother. We supported both as best we could and have no regrets.

What works for your family may not work for another so there is no perfect example. You will do fine. Cooking is a life long journey. I still cook as if the team were coming over only to freeze it for other meals.

the other S.

PS It is snowing here and I made vegetable beef soup. I know you are going plant based. We don't each much meat anymore and do a bit more fish and other quick items that are made from scratch.

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