How Do You - Springfield,IL

Thirty minutes before dinner, tell him to start cleaning up. Then 10 minutes before dinner, go in for an inspection and tell him to fix it before he washes up for dinner. If he fusses, remind him dinner is waiting.

you've been posting about this for a while, hon.
it's time to implement all the good advice you've been given.
downsize the toys massively. if you're still being overwhelmed by toys, you still have way too many.
your rotation system is great, but it sounds as if you've allowed the system to get big and complicated and it's running you now.
of course your kids don't have motivation to help. you keep vacillating between ultimatums and decrees, and utter apathy.
if you put most of the toys away, rotate a few out when YOU feel like it, and have them clean up every day at the same time, no exceptions or excuses, this is really a pretty easy fix. any toys not cleaned up after ONE reminder disappear.
it's not on tiny children to stay motivated. it's on you to stay consistent.
khairete
S.

Easy-- I tell my son he can't have his media time until a few specific tasks are done. We've done cleanups together enough now that he likes when his room is clean. If I tell him "clean up your room", he's lost. If I say "I want all of the books put away on their shelf; dirty clothes in the wash, Legos need to go in a bin and off the floor. Books, clothes, Legos. Come show me when you are done." I repeat the main items (in a group of no more than three) and I follow up. Only then can he move to his fun activity.

By the way, I try to keep it to three items, no more. I prefer to have him work gradually; if it's more than that, I do pitch in and use it as time to chat and check in. Cleaning can be pleasant if it's treated as something one simply does rather than a punishment or something to be avoided.

When my son was little and went to childcare after a certain time all toys were picked up and put away. A child could play with a toy until mom/dad came to get him but he/she had to put the toys back. I just continued this idea into our daily routine. All toys had to be put up before bedtime. He would put the toys away and the room was clean.

I don't know the age(s) of your kids but that is what I did and it worked until he was about five and sister arrived. Then we worked on her putting the toys away.

the other S.

I agree with almost everything already said. But I do want to add, some kids are just neater than others. After they became pre-teens, I let their rooms be their own, including doing their own laundry. Each room is in a different stage of cleanliness/neatness. The house work is now shared, too. I don't expect perfection anymore, just effort.

One thing that helps is to use clear, direct words when instructing kids to clean up. "Clean up" or "put away" can mean so many things.

So, instead of those kinds of vague terms, start over with very carefully worded instructions. Tell the kids: when I tell you that play time is over, your Legos go in this bin, your cars and trucks go in this bin, and books go on the shelves, like this (and demonstrate what standards you expect). And of course, you must provide the bins (label them with pictures of what goes in them, or words if your kids can read).

Spend a day arranging the toys and putting books in the bookcase. Take pictures of the finished project and post them prominently for the kids to copy. Tell them the consequences for not complying - a logical consequence is to remove the toy or book that isn't in it's place. And set a timer if they can't tell time, and inform them that when the timer goes off, the toys and books must be in their proper "homes".

When you remove a toy or book that hasn't been put away, make sure it's out of sight, and figure out a way for them to be earned back.

Oh, and if there are electronics (video games) that they play, you might consider removing those as a consequence for not taking care of the toys. You don't have to unplug everything - just take the controller away. But make it plain: if they can't take care of toys and books, then they certainly won't have access to iPads and video game systems!

Do it in small bits and do things like say, "We are going to pick up all the x before dinner" or set a timer and say, "Alright, let's see if we can beat the timer. GO!" Make it fun, but also make it routine. If after a while things get lost/forgotten you can also try the "mom basket" where they don't get it back til they earned it or if they never bother earning it back, it gets donated or sold.

A big part of the problem is kids just have too much stuff.
Get everything un-necessary out of their rooms.
All they get is just enough clothes (seasonal stuff gets stored out of their way), toys (beyond a bedtime lovey) go in a playroom.
Once de cluttered, everything needs it's place.
If your child doesn't put something away - and you have to do it - just take it away and put the toy in time out for a week.
Repeat as necessary.
If it gets to a point where he's got nothing to play with - well Bummer Dude - learn to take care of your things or you will do without.
Actually - why does he have so much play time?
He should be doing chores, helping you, getting school work done, and after all that's over, THEN he can play a little or have a little screen time.

Our son is like Suzanne's. He learned in day care and we
Kept it up at home. Helps that we are tidy and he isn't particularly materialistic. Toys from his birthday and Christmas still sit unopened in a corner because he isn't particularly interested in stuff for the sake of stuff or for the sake of new.

We've proven really lucky in this regard. Good luck to you.

F. B.

I limited the number of toys in my kids rooms and in the family room. I had two big wicker toy boxes in the family room and one in their rooms. I then had storage bins in my basement. If a toys came upstairs then other toys went downstairs. All toys could easily and quickly be put in the boxes making cleanup very easy. I also used to regularly donate toys not played with anymore. Not having excessive clutter made the process much more manageable.

I also used to say let's cleanup before you get the next thing out. This worked very well. If you do this daily it really should not take more than 10 minutes tops.

One more tip...I used to say either you clean it up or I will. They knew if I cleaned it up it would go into a bag and that they would have to earn it back. Honestly one time of doing this showed them I meant what I said. I would only resort to saying this if they were not helping. I really just liked all of us to work together to get things done.

How old are your kids? My answer would vary based on that. "Clean your room" is overwhelming for some kids - they don't know where to start. The whole thing is a mess, so they lump it together.

For younger, pre-reading kids, I would do 5 things:
1) limit the number of toys in there are any one time, rotating them in and out of a closet or basement.
2) Create a simple storage system with general bins based on the type of toy. We had one for toy vehicles (matchbox cars, small trucks, etc.), one for things with tracks (mostly trains or the other vehicles that went with that set - e.g. Brio), one for stuffed animals, etc. Then we put a photo on the outside of the bin, either from the box when we bought it, you could use something from the internet or just a photo from the phone that you print on regular white paper. Stick that on the bin with clear packing tape. A kid who can't read well can look at what's on the photo and know what bin to throw things into.
3) Put a vertical divider (like you get at Staples) on a book shelf, so that books can be slid into vertical slots without falling over. Get a horizontal divider if you have a lot of puzzles or drawing pads. Or you can get one of those units with drawers and put similar photos or sketches for crayons, one for paintbrushes, one for craft stuff, etc. - whatever your categories are. If the drawers aren't too huge, kids can keep things organized.
4) Give each kid a laundry basket for dirty stuff.
5) Put a small plastic bin like a laundry basket, but kid-sized, in your laundry area. Kids' clothes get sorted into their own personal bin. No reason they can't do a lot of this themselves - even little ones can match and roll socks and fold underwear (especially if you make a game of it), even if you have to do the more "complicated" folding for stuff that has to look nice and not excessively wrinkled. Each kid carries his own basket to his own room and puts stuff away. Until that's done, no screen time or ice cream, whatever the motivators are for each kid.

Forgetting is selective. When they can't find what they need or can't do what they want because their room is trashed, they'll figure out they have to do it. If you can, use hooks vs. hangers (they are easier) and maybe get a closet organizer so they can reach the clothes bar themselves. The point is, "Oh well, you decided not to put stuff away so you obviously decided not to use the computer." Make it their choice, not the Mean Mommy Punishment.

The older the kids are, the more they can do, and the less direction you give. If things aren't allowed to get to the disaster level, cleaning/organizing is easier. So there have to be daily consequences, vs. an end-of-the-week, Mom-has-had-it-up-to-here crisis.

On some level, you have to relax your standards - yes, they and you have to be able to move through the room. But no, the photographer from House Beautiful isn't coming today either. So make it reasonable. The older the kid, the more you can compromise and negotiate. Tidying their own room is way more fun than cleaning a toilet, but you can get a lot of mileage out of offering the choice.

And a few punishments are okay too if it's excessive - if a kid is trashing her room in a matter of hours, and that means she's, say, throwing clean clothes on the floor, then she can pay for the extra detergent (since you have to wash clothes that already were clean) out of her own money. Or, by age 5-6, they can do some amount of laundry themselves. They'll hate it - it's wet and heavy, and your attitude is, "Oh well, too bad you decided to throw it on the floor instead of gently putting it in the drawer."

Hang tough for a few weeks, and do not cave. It does not matter if they wear the same outfit to school twice in one week! It does not matter if they wear a pair of jeans that is wrinkled! It does not matter if they wear mismatched socks once. Let them hate it, and they will avoid it.

I did exactly what they did at school (including preschool) and that was one mess is always cleaned up before another was made. So if they were playing Legos or Barbies and wanted to move on to board games or play doh then they had to pick up the Legos or Barbies first. Almost everything, from blocks to trains to Little People, were kept in bins with lids, and they could only have a few out at a time.
There was one bucket for random toys that didn't go in a group.
Messes are overwhelming to children, play is less fun when everything is mixed up and pieces are lost, and let's face it, THEY JUST DON'T CARE. It's up to us (parents, teachers and caregivers) to run the system.
If the system isn't working chances are your kids simply have too much (very common in America lol!)
And bedrooms really only had books and stuffed animals/dolls. Why have toy messes in every room?

My children get video game time at the end of the day, they covet this time greatly. It is a set time every night, but they can not play if their rooms are not picked up, so that is a great incentive.

I wrote started my answer before seeing your SWH. sounds to me you have this well in hand. I think you're doing well with this project. So, are you asking how to motivate them with daily/weekly pick up of toys? You have great suggestions already.