How Do You Motivate Children to Keep Tidy?

my son is 6 yrs.old & it seems his room is the only one in the house that winds up looking like tornado alley. I finally got tired of recleaning it behind him & told him the new house rule was that it was to be cleaned by him before he went to bed at night & if anything wasn't in the spot it belonged in then it went to the trash. after the 1st (and last time) one of his coloring books made it's way to the garbage can, his room is a whole lot neater.

I am a mother of four under the age of 4. They all have little storage bins that have wheels on them so they just roll right under the bed. Each night they put their toys back in the right box. They are excited to do it because it makes us so proud of them!! We showed them what to do for a few days and they just took to doing it on their own. Daddy can even get them excited to clean up on their own before mommy gets home! As much as I love my kids they are not some super exceptional children..it is just like all things, they need to be shown and recieve positive attention. Stay consistant and you will see results. If they are older try making them earn a privledge by cleaning up. Good Luck!

I don't know if this will help you, but I stumbled across a solution to the same problem. I had my kids clean their own rooms. They had to sort all the little "piles" of junk and throw away whatever was not needed. It took days (partially because I allowed them to break the work up so that it wouldn't be too overwhelming for them). Their rooms looked great when they were done. My husband asked them what they learned. They said, "Keep our rooms clean." It has been several months, and although I have to stay on them to keep the piles taken care of, their rooms are still clean. Make them take responsibility and do the work. Once they realize how much time cleaning can take out of their "play time", they will most likely do better at keeping it under control.
Also, I really like Pam's dad's sign and I have done the box thing as well. Both are great ideas.
The hardest part to any of the ideas is making sure you are willing to go through with the consequences you set and then doing it. Set expectations and rules and then make sure to follow through with them.
Good luck!

It amazes me that a mom would say your kids are lazy!! Kids these days just get overwhelmed with all the stuff they have! I tell my husband all the time that I never had as many toys as our son has! Our 4 year old son has toy bins that go on a shelf. Every night before bed, we go in there and place all the bins on the floor...each bin has a specific purpose for each kind of toy, and my son has learned which toys go in which bin. When he is finished cleaning his room, we have a small snack. It is just a matter of teaching them where stuff goes. You are not a lazy mother and your children most certainly are not lazy!! It just takes some time. Also, about once a month, I send him to 'grandmas' and I do a deep clean of his room!! This allows me to get everything he might have missed, and allows me to get rid of some things! Good Luck!

This is a common problem, but you can conquer it. This is a problem of not minding mom, rather than of being slobs.

Take a Sat AM to get each room cleaned up. Organize the toys: legos in a plastic tote, stuffed animals in toybox, etc. Get rid of unwanted or outgrown toys. If it is something special, a gift from someone or something they were really attached to, but are too old now and you want to keep it, put these in a plastic bag and box it up and put it in the attic, be sure to label the outside of the box. Clear out- tell each child they must get rid of 20 things (or whatever number) and put these in garage sale or goodwill.

Then, explain to you children that they are no longer allowed to destroy their rooms. After each play time, they must pick up before going on to the next thing. This is going to take work on your part too. If you need to take a child to an activity, you are going to have to give ample warning to get ready to go. It is going to take work for you to watch them, see who is leaving the trash, crumbs, junk laying around. If no one will admit to it, punish them all equally.

Also, before bathtime at night, all toys picked up and put in their designated spots. Then, bath, brush teeth, read and go to bed.

Now, how to get the kids to mind? Easy. For the first offense, stand in the corner for 1/2 hour, then when time is up, say "OK you can get out now as long as you pick up your toys". Second offense, 1 hour, third offense 1 1/2 hr. It probably won't take more than this.
You can make them sit on a chair facing the wall, or stay in bed for that amount of time, but it should be away from the other kids and no TV allowed.
NEVER yell out of control; just keep a firm, calm, matter-of-fact voice.

Punishment is the best way to make kids mind. The punishment must DETER the crime.
Make cleanup an everyday thing for your kids. Have them help with clearing the table, doing the dishes, sweeping, cleaning the bathroom sink, etc.

I have watched my daughter train her 2 1/2 yr old to pick up after himself; if he can, your kids can. She has put most of his toys in his closet. He can't open the door. When he wants to play with something else, she tells him "you know the rule, pick up what you have out, then you can get something else". And limit what they get out. If they are playing with cars, don't let them get all the stuffed animals out too. If they are playing house and have the dishes out, don't let them get the Legos out with it.

Hope this helps!

this is what works for us, not sure if it will work for you. we don't have any toys in the rooms. We have one big toy room and only the toys that will fit in there, with the exception of outdoor toys. If a toy does not have a place we donate or sell it. If it is a mcdonald's toy it is played with that week, and then in the donation box it goes. The children are not allowed to pull out a second toy till the first is put away. The toy room must be cleaned up before they are allowed to eat dinner. If they take too long, then they might miss dinner time. After dinner only one book or one small toy with no pieces can be played with for "quiet time" When they go to bed there is no clutter. This works well. You just have to be disciplined about keeping them on track and being in the play room with them. Also you might try a chore chart. If they clean up that day then they get a sticker, if they have 5 stickers in a week, then they get ice cream or something like that.

I have 3 children, ages 16, 12 & 10. What has always worked for me and gets their attention quickly is this.
Tell them that you want thier rooms cleaned by a certain time. If it is not done then YOU are going to CLEAN it. And by this I mean " anything that is not in it's place is yours to do with however you feel like it. Put it up til they have EARNED it back, or throw it away. After the first time it took my boys' toys out of their room, they at least made a good attempt. They were only 4 and 6 at the time. But they were old enough to know what put their toys away or mommy is going to take them. Good Luck.

How about rewarding them with movie night (even if that is at HOME & they get to pick the movie) 1 less chore (if they have chores - and it saves YOU from picking up)

When they can't find something..time them until it's found. Make sure and tell them how much time it took to find it when things are a mess. IF they had a place for it and it was in its place.......they could have gone right to it.

If you have to pick up something.......KEEP IT!!! They have to earn it back. I use to do this ALL The time when I was coaching. I got tired of picking up after high school kids. They had to put a quarter into the team fund to get it back. It WORKED!

If they are out of socks........maybe they have to borrow from a sibling.....they need to learn the consequences of not being organized, etc. If they want to get something back, they have to help with dishes, set the table, etc. NOT just pick up their room. EVERYONE benefits!

My father came up with a solution for this problem. He simply posted a notice on my bedroom door while I was out at a friend's house. I naturally thought it was quite humorous and sent it to Readers Digest, who paid for the article, but my greedy father took the check, sigh!
Here is a basic idea of what he posted on my door.

On this date _____________, I, (his name), King of the Realm at (our address), have declared this area to be a national disaster zone.
If said area is not cleaned and organized (the date he picked which was two days later)and all clutter and debree removed by the inhabitant of said area a task force of men and equipment will clear said area of all but essential items necessary for dressing, sleeping, and doing homework.
Said area is to be examined daily by a committee of trusted advisors for a period of 6 months. If said area is not maintained in an orderly fashion all unnecessary items will be removed by the inhabitant under guard prior to retiring for the night.

Signed on this date by the King of the Realm: (his name).

While I was highly amused I cleared said area and cleaned it. I knew he was serious and I would have seen all my treasures being delivered to needy children, sent to the GoodWill or sold at a yard sale.

No, it is not to tight in the morning for any child to make their bed prior to leaving for school.

I used a simple practice with my children. If I had to pick dirty clothing up off the floor it went into a box when I washed clothes and was not returned to them. If I had to step over toys when I went in to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in it went into a box and was removed to a storage area for a minimum of a week, second time a month, and the third time they never got it back. Believe me, when they run out of clean underwear, have to wear old clothes to school they don't like, they figure it out fairly soon.

You don't say how old your children are. That has a lot to do with your reply.They should have shelfs and containers to keep thier stuff in to start with.Anything they don't play with should either go into a yard sale or for the needy.
I too am a collector but I keep things organised and neat.I go through my house every few months and give stuff away. But I am a collector through no fault of my own, as a kid my Mom gave away almost all of my toys when my parents got divorced .That hurt I didn't get to keep my most valued toys.She also threw away family pictures and anything that reminded her of my father.Post cards from all over the country that we had gone to etc. It was like she just threw our child hoods in the trash.My house has many toys and they are mine but I give them away to kids in the neighborhood all of the time.But I choose to do that.

Holy Moley, your children are not lazy, you are not lacking clear rules, you are not failing as a Mother (apparently you struck a nerve with some people). We are collectors at our house too. We do the best we can, and when we are overwhelmed, we work as a team. I have 5 children, so things get overwhelming a lot. I do think that Flylady.com has a great system. We have adopted the house fairy that she talks about. It gives my kids motivation to pick up and keep things neat. We also try to go through clothes and toys quarterly and donate them. I let the kids pick out the items that they don't love anymore and then explain where they are going. The older ones have a less difficult time with this than the younger ones. We also put cubbies and different shleving in their rooms so that their stuff has a place to go. All "collections" have an individual bag (usually brown bag from the grocery store) that they must be stored in. Then they can be kept in the closet or under the bed. We are not neat freaks and I often have a "lived-in" look in my house, but we are not dirty and it is never so far gone that it can't be done in 20 minutes.
Good luck!

You aren't making your rules clear for them, otherwise their rooms would stay picked up. At my house, I have certain rules, everyday rooms have to get picked up. Every morning beds have to be made. It only takes 2 minutes tops for kids to make their beds, so I wouldn't use school mornings as an excuse, and would add this to their morning routine. My kids are 5 and 6, and get $1/week for their allowance. My son is great about keeping his room picked up. My daughter has a little more trouble. I have to tell her normally in the evenings to go pick up real quick. Then, on the weekends, I make sure they go in and really really pick up by making sure things are back in their right spots everywhere. Once they finish, this is when I give them their allowance.

Remember, it's our job to teach our kids responsibility of cleaning up after themselves. If you don't have them making their beds and cleaning their rooms, it will continue on into their adult life. It was until I was married that I realized I needed to keep my bedroom cleaned and bed made. My husband's parents always made him do this, and so he couldn't stand how our room looked. My mom never made me make my bed or clean, so I wasn't used to doing it. Anyway, I would rather be overly strict with my expectations and have my kids have a good head start on adulthood. It only takes them about 5 minutes each day, which is nothing compared to the lesson they're learning about personal responsibility.

I only have one child whose 5 (so still in the helpful mode). I attack things in a "togetherness" manner. I ask him to go in and start while I do something small or finish up what I'm doing. Then I go in and help him finish up by putting things in the correct spot. We have bens labled for certain things, areas where he can put whatever he wants, drawers for his art and school supplies, and a special place for those little cheap toys you get in happy meals or party bags (making it easy to find them and throw them out later!!)
School work, every piece of paper, is put into a page protector in a binder after we discuss it at school. He has a bulliten board he can hang work up on that he is extremely proud of or that are too big for the binder. If it doesn't fit in the binder or on the board, it goes in the garbage. The board is mostly for those things we make at home. 99% of the school work goes into the binder.
In Oct/Nov. each year we clean out old toys (the big things) to donate them and get the room ready for Santa/Christmas. Make it an exciting and fun thing to do and they will be more willing to do it. We aren't very well off ourselves, I'm a single mom with no child support. Donating used things is the most I can give some years. To drop the things off makes us both feel good.
We make to do list. He has a check list for before and afterschool that he is responsible. He gets an allowance for doing his jobs without arguing. $1/wk (sometimes it comes in quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies--gotta sneak in that math work!) On the weekends we do a whole house cleaning together, and it's a long to do list but he helps me all the way through b/c it's fun and games and filled with lots of breaks.
On a side note...my son is actually the "neat freak" out of the both of us. Reminding him the importance of keeping clean is mostly easy. We are also not involved in sports yet, other than ice skating on the weekends, and I work 3 12 hour shifts a week, so I'm home while he's at school to tie up loose ends.
Best of luck...make it fun! Give rewards!

How old are you kids? The answer kinda depends on the age. For instance, I clean my toddler and preschooler's room for them and help them put toys away and stuff. I never clean my 6 year old's room, though. I think I stopped when he turned 5 and started kindergarten. He does make his bed everyday and I don't allow food in the bedrooms. But most of the time there are toys everywhere and it's a mess. When it bugs me, I just close the door and don't look at it. He cleans it when he 'needs' to... like when he can't find a toys he wants, has no space on the floor to play or breaks a favorite toy by stepping on it. The first few months it was a complete disaster but he's been doing a great job of keeping it picked up for the past 5-6 months. I think the 2 key events was breaking his favorite toy (hidden under a shirt so he didn't see it and jumped on it) and losing a favorite toy for a few months. He learned through natural consequences to keep his room somewhat picked up. I don't expect perfection because he just a 6 year old boy, but I never need to nag at him.

What type of stuff ends up in their rooms? I go through my son's school folder/backpack as soon as he gets home and take out the papers. I keep the stuff I want, let him keep 1 or 2 things if he wants (he rarely does) and toss the rest so it doesn't end up in his room. Most of the toys are in the toy room in the basement so the only ones in his room are legos, transformers and a few other small things the younger kids shouldn't be playing with in the basement. We've bought a few of those organizer bins on wheels (3 and 5 drawer ones) and they are perfect... transformers in one drawer, action figures in another, etc. Legos are in a few see-through bins that sit on a shelf.

Hi M.,
Try the website flylady.net, it has great tips for getting and staying neat,organized, and clutter free for all members of the family. There are little challenges and missions for kids that really helps to keep their rooms clean. Check it out!
Take care