All I can say is, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex [Book] by John Gray! It really only takes a bit of briefing through it to get the idea. However, if you have the time to read, read the whole book.
As well, people in general handles situations differently and obviously the relationship makes a difference too. You have emotional attachment to your husband, so your emotions are different than at work.
Last Sunday, our minister was talking about emotions and tempers. Gasoline - no explanation necessary, torch - searing comments, and coal - simmering and will burn, but you would never know. My husband and I determined he is the 5 gallon can of gas and I am coal & a torch.