How Much Time to Leave Between Siblings?

Hi E.,

I would not wait to long 3yrs the most. Mine are 5 years apart. They love each other a lot. However even 1 more year closer would have them understand each other. LOL My little does not want to share too much and the older old feels like she always has to give in. I try and not let that happen but it does. So no more then 3 years in my opinion. Good Luck! :)

There is no perfect wait time between kids. If you both feel comfortable trying for the next baby, then go for it!. There are benefits & challenges to babies close together and far apart. Several of my siblings are around 15 mos apart & they are very close & had wonderful memories of growing up together. My Mom used to say that it was hard to have 2 little ones at the same time but she ended up having 7 more so I guess it was not too horrible. Just keep up a good attitude & accept the fact that everything is not going to be done perfectly when you are managing several little ones at once. Best of luck!!

My 3 oldest are 2 1/2-3 years apart. (There's 13 yrs between my youngest 2).

It was great having the oldest already potty trained and talking when her brother came along. That and she was old enough to help out and not get jealous or backslide in her behavior. Same with the second oldest. He was the same way when little brother came along.

Nanc

hi...congrats on ur first beautiful baby. i planned it so my kids would be @2 years apart... enough so there would be enough of a separation for their independence in schools and with friends yet close enough to be able to play together as kids ... IT WORKED! they love each other, have lead entwined lives but also had independence from each other... they're 22 and 24 no so i've seen it work at all levels all these years...good luck!

I have 2 boys 22 months apart. One is 2; the other 2 months. While I am very happy they are close in age(hopefully they will grow up to be close friends) and wouldn't want it any other way...I will say that it is super busy and there is really no time to slow down and enjoy the baby. Enjoy your baby for a bit before you start trying. 1st--who knows what the pregnancy will be like...you might feel super tired, sick, etc. You might not. But if things aren't great, it will affect your 5 month old. 2nd--really. It's busy with two little one. Fun, but crazy. You will not have the time to enjoy all the firsts and all the exciting newness. Try to wait even a few more months...cherish the baby stage and give it all your attention.

My first 2 children are 17 months apart. Then there's a 5 yr gap, and our last 2 children are only 10.5 months apart. The only thing I would change is that I would take away that 5 yr gap and have them all close. In that 5 years I couldn't get pregnant, and then when I did I had 2 miscarriages. So it wasn't intentional. I have never regretted having my kids close together, although I did wonder if I would have enough love for each new one. It was not a problem. They all fell into place like they were meant to be here. :)

Hi E.,
My two boys are 21 months apart. I was pregant immediately when we started "trying" when my first was a year. If you body is well recovered and you feel that you could safely and comfortably be pregnant right now, then go for it. There is no fixed amount of time you should wait. I know a lot of people who are 13 months older or younger than their siblings and are very close. I think my husband briefly worried about our older boy feeling "neglected" but with the baby just turned one and our older boy almost 3 now, they adore each other and love playing together. We just prioritize one-on-one time with them both. Good luck!

I wanted to have another baby immedietely after having our daughter. A good friend of mine said to wait 6-7 months (& yes the difference bw 5.5 & 6 mo is quite different as silly as I sounds). I'm really glad I waited bc she hit 6 months & it was a lot. Also, more than it being a lot, my daughter is now 19 months & I'm so glad I've been able to spend this time with her. This is the only child where it will be one on one. I think it is important for you to be able to experience one child for a while. My husband & I are trying now & I think we & our daughter are truly ready for a new baby.
We want more than two & I think we will wait a shorter period for the next, but being able to concentrate on just our daughter has been beyond words amazing.
That being said, I think whatever decision you make will be the right one for you & your family. How could it not?
All the best & best of luck,
J.

I would suggest waiting until the first is at least 1-1/2. My sister and I are only 18 months apart in age and she has quite a few health problems (we are in our 40's now). I don't believe that my mother's body had really 'bounced back' enough from the first if that makes any sense. We have a 3rd much younger sibling which is much healthier than my middle sister is. This may not hold true for everyone, but I will say that in my case, having waited 18 months to conceive between children was much better on my body, and I believe on my child's. Just ask your doctor and see that they say about it from a health standpoint...........

Mine are 19 months apart and we love it. The oldest was able to communicate by 19 months (we did sign languauge, and she was a fast talker) so that was a big plus. I think if she was later communicating it would have been harder.

Hi E.,

I'm a SAHM with a 8 month old baby boy. My husband and I are also in our mid 30's. We knew we didnt want to wait too long cause of our age and also wanted our kids to be close in age. We are trying to have our 2nd baby and never once thought that we would enjoy our son less b/c of the next one. If anything, the joy would double!!!! I believe the ideal time is when you and your husband are ready.

Good Luck!!!

Depending on how you feel to have another soon or later. My first two are ay ear and 3 weeks apart and then my second was 21 months when our third son was born. It was difficult for me in the beginning because I had to feed the older one in the high chair while nursing the second one. I did feel bad that I had not have the time with my oldest, but they are friends and play together alot and now my third is joining them. They may fight at times, but when it comes down to defending each other, they are best friends. One time at the Y, my second was upset because he was tired and was waken. I went to workout and when I came back to pick them up, one of the workers there said that when #2 was sitting there, #1 came over sat next to him and said, Mommy's coming back. Want to play? and #2 nodded and got up and went to play with #1. She said that it was the most beautiful and fun thing to watch and hear. I was pleased and amazed. The only thing I know now, is that there should be a mommy and me time alone with each individual child. Even if it's only an hour or an hour and a half. There should be a Mommy and me time. So, you get to know the child more and deeper and they so different when they are alone with you without you dividing attention. If I had to do it over again, I would it again and it's great to have them that close and since mine are boys, the clothes are passed down with some new for each child over time. Make sure you are physically, mentally and emotionally ready. Congrats ono your baby boy and let us know when you do become pregnant!!

I am raising neices and nephews. Some are now grown and others are teens. The two oldest are 13 months apart and I have a house with three teen agers 14, 15 and 16.

The two oldest are like oil and vinegar. They get along only when defending the other against the world. The three teens are like the three musketeers each of them are 13 months apart. When they were small, it was great because they had each other to play with because of their closeness in age. They are supportive of each others endeavours. I have set an environment where that was expected. With so many children, we sometimes have to juggle being in more than one place at a time but now that they are teens they can go and support when I can't manage being in more than one place at a time.

There is a delicate balancing act you do when they are infants of meeting the needs of the baby while not neglecting the needs of the older child. You just need to be very aware and manage your expectations.

Hope this helps.

Hello E.,

I honestly feel that a yr-yr and half is better. My oldest is 11 and the will be 10 in a month and my youngest is 8 1/2. The girls seem to get along much better than other siblings that I have seen that are further apart. But every child is different and every child is their own person. There are never any gurentees.

I have seen children that were much further apart that are great together as well.

In all honesty, it is a choice you have to make.

I don't think there is any appropriate time in between. I have twins, so I had mine at the same time, and I am enjoying both of them the same. I never thought it possible to love two human beings this much at exactly the same time. I wish you all the best of luck, whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family.

Hi E.,

I have three children, my older two are 16 1/2 months apart, totally not planned. There are times where I see that having them close together is a great thing but at other times I see it as a downfall. For one, I had two in diapers & you aren't really focusing in on what the older one is doing (ie: milestones) & having to divide your time. Also as you try to divide the time equally & you're not able to give the older one the attention that they need. As you have a newborn that is also needing your attention & you feel stretched thin & some days are worse then others. Right now my boys are 6 1/2 & the other one is 5 1/2 yrs old. There are days that they're each others best friend & like natural siblings they tend to fight as well. I personally would wait till maybe your current one is like a year and a half old & start trying. This way you get to celebrate each milestone of the first one. I also have a seven month old daughter who I am totally enjoying her. Because one she's my last & secondly I didn't really get to enjoy my first two because they were so close. Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck.
M.

My first three were a year apart. Actually first two
less than a year. Four years between 3 and 4. Loved
having first three close. Always had someone to play with. We just did babies, diapers and bottles. Would
do it that way again if I had to. The 4th one also
added a special something. Had no had babies so she
was special too.

I am a big proponent of having children close, if you are
the type of person that can handle it. Good luck.

I have 3 children. The first 2 are 20 months apart and the last one came 22 months later. I did feel guilty at first and sad for my oldest, but I now realize that I gave him a best friend. They always have someone to play with, and it's so awesome to watch them all together. Good luck to you, and congrats on your new baby.

Hi, I am a SAHM of two beautiful children. They are about 18 months apart and although my husband and I had not planned on having kids this close together, we could not be more overjoyed with our family! In the begining when you bring the newborn home and you have a toddler to care for it is very difficult, make sure you have some help if you can get it. The exhaustion that you feel with a newborn will be multiplied because you now have to care for a toddler too! Now that my second is crawling (almost walking) things have become much easier, they interact more together(it just melts my heart when I see them laughing together or sharing a toy), my little girl is now on a regular schedule so I know pretty much what to expect during the day. As for enjoying my older child, I am enjoying every moment with my older child. You can still give the older child attention while caring for a younger sibling. I take advantage of the time when my little girl is napping to have some special one on one time with my son. I tell him I love him and that he is still special to mommy. I am blessed to be able to stay home with my children so I am there for everyting. And its exciting to see the new changes and abilities of my son while reliving the baby milestones of my little girl. I can't wait to see them grow up together! I could not imagine things any other way, I am glad my two are so close together. I wish you luck with whatever you and your husband decide to do!

Dear E., If you feel ready and your husband is too then go for it. You may not get pregnant right away but start now. I had all my children close. I had no trouble enjoying them Your heart expands as you give birth and the children grow up together. By best, Grandma Mary(mom of 5)

We are in the same situation. I have a soon-to-be 14 month old that I adore. Please read my profile I never really was into kids. As soon as he was born, I wanted more I had to convince my hubby. The first time around he had to convince me. Personally, we are waiting until next May to conceive. I recently had a pregnancy scare and I was glad I wasn't but sad too. I have ask this question of others and many space their children at 22 months. Sometimes, mother nature takes care of it. I know a mommy in my mommy group that is 4 months pregnant and has a one year old. It wasn't planned it just happened. Good luck!

I vote for having them close together. My toddler is 17months older than my twins. Now, 9 months later, I find I am still jumping thru hoops to give my toddler some personal attention. We started him in a small daycare nearby, so that he was getting the structure he needs, when the twins came home. I think this was perfect. My toddler is happy and well adusted, and now that the twins are sitting up and playing (almost crawling), he is interested in playing wtih them nicely for a short while. However, I have accepted the fact that I am always wanted by someone, and pulled in three directions until they are all asleep. If anything, however, the olderchild gets 75% of the attention, because his needs are more than bottles and diapers.

Congrats on your little boy! We have three kids, the first two are 12 months apart and the second two are 14 months apart. I would say that there are pros and cons of having them so close together, but I would do it again if I was in the same position (I was also in my mid-30s when we had our first).

I did find that I had enough quality time to spend with my oldest, even after the second one was born. For the first six months or so, the baby was quite easy, just sleeping and eating, which left me plenty of time with my oldest. After the first six months, the baby became more demanding, but my daughter was able to play with him as well so we did some things together or she started "teaching" him about things that she was doing. It has gotten a little bit more difficult with the third - I would have a really hard time with it if I didn't have great help a few days a week.

The major con that I experienced was that my oldest wanted to go out and see other kids and play and often we were stuck inside because of naptimes for the baby. But we figured it out - the baby learned to nap in the stroller at least once a day and then became an even better napper once he was 12 months old because he loved his crib.

I hope that helps. My personal belief is that there is no "ideal" time between kids, but what is right for your family.

Good luck!

i have 2 girls who are almost 16 months apart. my youngest is almost a month old and it is hard right now, but my oldest is wonderful with the baby. i get to see her in a whole new light! she loves her baby sister so much, and in a way i think it may be better to have them close together because my oldest doesn't really know how good she had it as an only child. i haven't really had to deal much with jealousy issues yet. good luck