How to Keep 7 Yr Old in Bed..

She sounds like my older daughter, I practically had to sit on her to keep her in bed! What finall worked for us was to keep track of how much time she spent getting out of bed and she had to "pay it back" the next night by going to bed earlier. It took about a week but she got the message because she HATED going to bed early especially when she owed enought time to have to go to bed BEFORE her little sister. Goog luck, if nothing else she'll outgrow it LOL.

Have you actually sat down and talk with her, not at her and ask why she does it. Maybe she has a lot of energy that needs to be used up before going to bed. What activities does she do to help with energy to make her tired enough after dinner and before going to bed.
I wouldn't punish her, threaten her or bribe her. She's 7 years old. Some 7 year olds can say what the reason for her doing those things at night and some are not sure. So, talk with her. Try getting her very active to tire her out at night. Scolding her may mean to her that you don't care what the reason(s) for her not going and staying in bed. Give her time to talk with you. I know some parents actually go in their child's room and sit and talk with them about their day and what had happened that caused them to misbehave or whatever. She may need that down-time and doesn't know how to relax. I need to relax and read a book or something before going to bed. If I don't, I am tossing and turning and feeling restless in bed. So, help her have the down-time time. Show her that you are taking the time for her and her alone and that down-time is what my boys need in order to fall asleep...sometimes.

Might be obvious, but have you asked her WHY she feels the need to get out of bed and talk to you? There is obviously a reason she wants to delay sleeping. Perhaps she's scared of something in her room, or she just needs a longer time / bedtime routine to settle down from the day, or more mom/dad snuggle time before falling asleep, etc. Perhaps she's nervous about the next day for some reason - something that makes her anxious about school, perhaps.

I had this great response and then my browser crashed, I'll try to re-create it.

Your daughter wants to be with you. Your 26 and 22 yr old were better at going to bed because there were 2 of them, so they could understand "it's bedtime for kids". You didn't have to spell it out, it's just the way it was.

I have a 6 1/2 year old. She is the same way, especially if she is excited or worked up about anything. We try to incorporate most of her delay-tactics into her bedtime routine: have a drink (milk or juice), brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, bring a glass of water to bed, read a story, kiss goodnight. This eliminates a lot of the delays.

My daughter sleeps with a night light and her door open. We are in an apartment and all the rooms are on one floor, the hallway that connects the kitchen, bathroom, and living room goes right past both bedrooms. When she is in a pattern of using a lot of delay tactics, I tell her as I am saying goodnight that if I have to come back in here the first time I will turn your light out, the 2nd time I will close your door. (same would apply for her coming out of her room, but since she can call to us, she is usually good about staying in bed). If your daughter doesn't use a night-light you can tell her no TV/favorite toy/video game, etc. the next day if she gets back out of bed. It's not as good as an immediate threat (and you have to remember to follow through with it), but at least it gives you something to warn her with BEFORE she does it the first time.

Another thing that helps, is to let her read a book herself for 15 minutes or a half-hour (depending on how late it is). I tell her how long she is allowed to read for and that i will come back to turn the light out and kiss her good night when the time is up.

Finally, if you don't know the book already, have your daughter read Mo Willems' book "Don't let the Pigeon stay up late" the next time you're at the library (she's really too old for you to buy it). While she's reading it, you can point out all the flaws in the pigeon's arguments. ("it's the middle of the day in China" - we're not in China) They would read this to the kids in my daughter's preschool and the kids would all shout out the reasons the arguments were no good (although the older kids did side more with the Pigeon). When my daughter is really being bad about going to bed, I tell her she's acting like the Pigeon, which helps make my point.

Good luck, those bed time issues are very frustrating! Prepare, warn, follow-through! (I guess you could even try praising her the morning after a successful bedtime routine)

Hi R.,
I wouldn't bribe. She is 7, she is not a toddler, don't treat her like one (7 year olds don't "go potty"). If you want this to stop, tell her it simply is not allowed, and if she does it, give a punishment. She is manipulating you and you are allowing it. Don't treat her like a two year old, she is 7. It is quite acceptable to tell her that if she has questions about lunch or wants a hug, she gets that before she gets into bed, and if she gets out of bed to ask about lunch, she is grounded/has a privilege taken away/no allowance. You need there to be a consequence. Kids go to the bathroom just before bed. She does not need to get up for the bathroom again but if you choose to allow this, she does not need to talk to you, ask permission, have your attention or be tucked back in. When you get up to go to the bathroom, you go, and it's not a time for attention. But honestly, it's a 7 year old. I know not everyone would agree with my methods but if my child was that age and continued to get out of bed, I'd lock them in or hold up the rubber spatula when they got out - I'm sure that would have cured them of trying it again, without even using it. If they were getting out of bed for the bathroom when I know they just went and don't have to go, I'd have threatened to diaper them and they'd have been cured of that one too. You don't need to do these things, but you do need to be firm and have a consequence, give her a reason to want to not get out of bed.

Do you spend time with her while she is in bed? Read to her or simply talk a little for a few minutes. This eases the separation so she wont need to get up and see what you are doing. 7's are very nosy and hate not knowing what is going on. Then after spending time with her say good night and tell her IF she gets out of bed there will be a consequence. It has to be immediate, such as taking her favorite doll, stuffed animal or even night light. If this doesnt work tell her if she gets up she will have to sit in a corner facing the wall until she goes to sleep and then do it. Totally ignore her. I can assure you she will stay in bed after that.