How to Keep an Orderly Room with 3 Yr Olds?

Updated on February 16, 2009
C.W. asks from Killeen, TX
14 answers

Okay, there has got to be a solution and maybe you have it...
My twin 3 1/2 yr olds are very destructive. Its hard keeping the room together or much less their beds intact. I have gone through several beds over the last two years to include toddler beds which they broke - during that time they stripped off the mattresses, jumped on the boards and preferred to sleep on the bare floors.

I have managed to find child proof locks for their closets so at least their clothes are no longer stripped from the hangers and tossed about their room. Their bed is now a twin size, but I still have the same problem. They strip their mattress and throw everything around the room. The only improvement is that I was able to convince them that sleeping on a bed is a good thing. Otherwise, if I dont catch it in time they pull the mattress off and find constructive things to do. Its amazing how strong they are or rather when they are not fighting each other - it is amazing to see what they can accomplish with a little teamwork. Ive never had this problem before - Any Ideas? Suggestions?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

First off Thank you to everyone.. I took a little bit from just about everyone. Some of things mentioned I have already done. However it gave me encouragement that I might be on the right track. So here is what I did. I went ahead and put both the clothes and the majority of their toys in their closet. I left the play kitchen downstairs and a couple dolls in their rooms. (The closet has a wrap around lock). I cleaned up their bedroom and put fresh sheets and everything was nice... I came back and there was poop on the wall and poop on the floor (the girls are potty trained) which I marked as a note of retaliation. I cleaned it up gave them baths and sent them to their rooms for time out. They stayed up until 1 am and then passed out. The 2nd night they took a black marker (I have no clue where it came from, but they are resourceful) and decorated my walls.. in their room, the hallway. They also took the sheets off their beds and pulled the mattress off the box springs. This time they stayed up until 3 am! The 3rd night they tore up a bunch of paper and littered their room with it and then they pee-d on their mattress. They also dumped rice puff cereal in the hallway. I made them clean up the cereal mess by them selves and it took 3 hours for them to do it. They stayed up again until it was 3am... How they turn around and are ready to start the day again before I am - I don't know. This morning they had climbed on top of my kitchen counters and found mini baking chocolate chips, which they proceeded to give to all their babies & animals and use all of the play dishes to do so. Kinda of cute until I realized they were all over my stairs and they were also using the wooden puzzle sets? It took about an hour for them to clean it up but they did it faster then the cereal mess.

Sooo, I pumped myself up with some caffeine and today I took their mattress & box spring and trashed it. I had them picking up their trash all over their room... this was not fun for them and included yelling (cuz now they were tired and wanted to sleep) and constant supervision. I vacuumed and cleaned up their room again. I bought nap mats (similar to the ones at the daycare), and put those down with their sleeping bags on top of it, and their pillows. I figure that those are easier to clean or replace if needed. Besides that there is only a lamp in their room. I was able to put them down to bed a little after midnight tonight(yea early!)... and they went to bed without a problem a few minutes later.
I dont think this is going to be solved in one night... However I appreciated each and everyone one's advice or encouragement.. It really means alot. On the other hand it brings up the serious thought that I am giving them all the attention at the daycare, but by the time I come home - I dont have enough energy to keep up with them, thus relying on caffeine. Its really unfair to them and obviously they need me (they were smiling when I put them to bed tonight). So it looks like Im gonna have to consider going back to staying at home and just replace my daycare income with my business at home? Well I will check back here every once in a while so if there are any other advice.. please I m listening!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.S.

answers from Houston on

Do they act the same way in the daycare? If they don't it might be because they know there are rules to follow, like picking up the toys and not destroying property. Since you work there you know what the rules for the children are so if they are working out for them at the daycare try them at home. It is rare case when a three year old will clean up after herself/himself, but that doesn't mean you stop telling them too. I have said this before and I will keep on saying it- Parents set the rules, children follow them not the other way around, and if they don't there should be consequences.
I too have a three year old and she really dislikes picking up her toys, but she has learn it is best to do so if she want's to see them again( they magically dissapear).

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Three year olds can understand proper behavior and responsibility.

Do not take anything out of their rooms. (yet)
In a small sentence, tell them they are NEVER to remove the sheets, pillows, and blankets, mattresses from their beds without your permission. Cosequence will be a time out. And then they will then make their beds. Do this EVERY time..

Any and all broken toys, go into the trash and are never replaced.

Nobody goes to bed till the bedroom floor is picked up. Even if it just goes in a giant container. Better, would be lots of shelves labeled (with pictures) of what goes on each shelf. If this is not done as instructed a warning can be given and if this is still not done, everything on the floor is placed in a garbage bag and donated to children that can take care of their belongings. Then Do it.

Clothing is to be respected. If clothing is left on the floor, same consequence. You may end up with little boys with 2 pairs of jeans and tshirts. Not their choice of shoes and some very plain underwear.

Remember this is YOUR house. They live there, but to show YOU respect, they need to take care of the bedrooms they are living in.

When my daughter was in middle school, I noticed she had her sleeping bag on top of her totally made up bed. I asked her, what was going on with the sleeping bag? She told me she was tired of making up her bed, so she was sleeping in her bag and then when people were coming over, she was going to roll it up and put it in her closet!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I am going to help you re-word your question:

You don't need help with an orderly room for the 3 year olds, you need a discipline plan that teachers pre-schoolers to respect their (your) home and their belongings.

There are dozens of ideas on disciplining 3 and 4 year olds...you can find many books at the library and on-line sites.
My experience with 3 boys (who are teens now) is that there must be negative consequences for tearing things apart, and positive rewards when they show respect for their (or others) belongings and follow house rules.

I know you are a very busy mom!
Perhaps your boys believe they get more attention from you by demolishing their rooms than if they didn't do that?
Try to find a fun activity that gives them attention and helps burn off their energy, at the time they are usually ripping their room up.

One suggestion: when my boys were ages 3-5, we bought a gym/ tumble mat and they jumped and leaped and tumbled on for a couple years until they wore that thing out.
Thick mat can also be folded and stood up to be a fort, a spaceship, a tent, a castle....
Three years old boys need to be kept very busy. It's unfair, but they have more energy than you at the end of the day.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Killeen on

I have a destructive little boy who will be four in a week. I thought I would never walk into his room being clean after a night. My son would strip the sheets off...the move his full size matress off the boxspring. He also loved the hanger game. lol.

My son is also ADHD but I dont use that as an excuse. What I did to finally make it end was this: Every night before my son went to sleep I would show him how the room looked and warn him that he would have to clean it if it didn't look like that in the morning. He pushed and pushed my buttons for one whole month!! Every day I would walk into a disaster area! And every morning he would clean that disaster area. I showed him how to do everything the first day...then he was on his own. Unless he had to go potty he would not leave his room til it looked the same again. He would hang his own clothes, put his mattress back up on the boxspring (yes, all by himself), put all his folded clothes back in the drawers, pick up any clothes he stripped off of himself(lol), and even put sheets back on (I had to help him a couple times with this but since yours will have team work it should be easier) I would get up early sometimes so that I could follow through without being behind on other things. It was hard with one kid, so I'm sure it will be harder with two...but stick with it and they will get tired of cleaning it up!! But don't give up!! Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Austin on

I know they are probably sharing a room, is it an option to let one of the twins share with a different sibling? This will take twin teamwork destruction down. Also I know you have beds, how bout favorite sheets about 20.00 let them pick them out and tell them that Mickey for example won't be on your bed if you take it off. Also keep all toys outside their room in an organizer in the hallway neatly put away. At the end of the day make sure all toys are put away in the organizer. Can get an organizer off of craigslist for about 20.
I too have twins but have them in separate rooms and it makes a huge difference for sleeping behavior and room care.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from Victoria on

that age they know this is bad behavior...or they will once you explain and punish them. they should make there beds back and put in time out for destroying there beds. taking mattresses off and jumping on the boards and destroying them is not acceptible. teach them while there this little can you imagine what they will do to your house at age five. good luck. sounds like a punshiment problem to me!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.O.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Pick your battles. I do think that they should be disciplined for this, but I also think that it's a stage. My son destroys his room almost daily...and there's only one of him. He is punished, but now when I tell him to clean his room he does it. Trust me it took a long time, but one day it was just like flipping a switch...I told him to clean his room and without any fight at all, he said ok mom. I went back to check on him in about 15 minutes, and his room was beautiful! Of course, he can't vaccuum or dust or anything like that but he even made his bed! All the toys were in his toy box clothes in the hamper, shoes in his closet...everything. Good luck! My son never went to the extent of taking off his mattress, but find what avenue of discipline works best for the 3 of you, stick with it and just try to be patient...this to will pass.
Happy Valentine's Day and Good LUCK!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.P.

answers from Houston on

You've received some good advice. The one thing I can tell you about the dresser because it is normal for toddler to pull out drawers and stand on them especially to reach something. Scary but normal. Anyway, you can buy this latch for them that is magnetic. The only way they can be opened is the magnet that comes with it and you just keep it where they can't get to it so it doesn't get lost. You may want to check that out. Try babies r us or even target. Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

How about you take EVERYTHING out of their rooms, including the bed frames. All they will have is the mattresses and bed linens. Then if they destroy something they get to do nothing, go anywhere or buy anything. Which may mean things like they go to daycare and come home. Check out Leman's "Have a New Kid by Friday" because they are more than capable of understanding consequences. Also, Dobsons "New Strong Willed Child"

Good Luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Remove the beds and put the mattresses on the floor, or remove both and let them sleep on the floor. Don't give them blankets or bedding. Make them earn them. Also, remove all toys and make them earn them back by taking care of things.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Killeen on

If there is a solution, I never found it. What I did was stop cleaning up after them. I insisted they clean up after themselves. If they took the sheets and stuff off their beds then that's how they slept on their beds..

Now they are much better about things. I will say that having a dresser with locking drawers has helped CONSIDERABLY!...

I hope other parents have better suggestions but for the most part they just out grew it once they realized they had to live in the mess they made...

Good Luck...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Time outs-
You have strong, healthy, and imaginative children. You are blessed, but you need to focus that energy now. They are more than old enough to understand consequences. If they do this- send them to time out, however many times it takes, at whatever hour. If you let them run your house at 3- imagine what it will look like at 16!
They could probably use an extra energy outlet during the day also. Maybe a daily trip to the park for a couple of hours, a karate class, a dancation in the living room, you get the picture. If you are already doing these things, then maybe they are going to bed too early. Healthy children (and adults) fall asleep within 10 min of going to bed.
Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from College Station on

Wow Girl you really have your hands full!!! I also have a three year old and have just recently had trouble keeping her room clean. I am trying to bribe her with candy and money so she will clean it up and she does a fairly good job some of the time. I am also open for suggestions. No matter what make sure that somehow you remember to take care of yourself LOL.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Odessa on

Hi!

I have 3 1/2 year old twin boys myself. Though I don't have this problem I have my fair share. I try to let them express thier imagination, and like you said use team work to be constructive, etc. I don't know how you feel about spanking, and I apologize if I offend you. When mine step over the line/boundry of what I'm willing to take they get a warning, then time out, then spanking, then if all else fails removing the privelage. Being a single mother of 4 you have/need to be a little cooky otherwise you will lose your mind. I respect you alot! Good luck.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches