How to Know If Is Ppd

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for this question.. I have been feeling the same way and it helps to know I am not alone :) It also helps to read what others have suggested for you. I hope things get better for you (and me) :)

M.

They have mom's day out programs in Belvidere and Rockford and other places in the area. It is an inexpensive way to get out for a few hours, if just to go home and take a bath in peace. I think they take infants a 6 weeks but not 100% sure. Even once or twice a month. You can also find a teenage girl to babysit once a month so you and your husband can go out. It might do you good to do your hair and makeup and go on a date. My daughter is certified and very experienced and there are plenty of great young girls in the area that can help you out. I have 5 kids so I can sympathize. There is also a post partum clinic at St. Anthony's Hospital and they are wonderful there. You may still have post partum. Its also hard in the winter when you alol have winter blues and cabin fever. I hope things get better. Let me know.

After being a SAHM for 2 years of two little boys (I've been back to work and school for a while now) I remember what it feels like. I thought I was losing my mind. The worst mother in the world. Selfish and hateful. Every relationship in my life seemed to be going down hill.

Let me tell you exactly what you need to do to get yourself out of this funk:

Do something ONLY for you.

It doesn't matter what it is. Get on the internet and find your local YMCA. Take some aerobics classes. Find the local Martial Arts academy and take some kickboxing classes. Find a local crafting club. Whatever you find, make sure it is interesting and fun. If there is something that you've always wanted to do (Mine was biking...rock-climbing...then Karate) do the research and go and sign up for a class.

The rules are: NO KIDS ALLOWED. Your husband takes the kids during your class-time. You NEED time for YOU. This isn't selfish at all. It allows you to destress so you can be a better wife and mother...and it gives you time with other adults.

Schedule it into your life. It should be as much a part of your week as baths, snacks, and Blue's Clues. It doesn't have to be every evening...2-3 times a week out of the house is a blessing. Just make sure you write it in your calendar with PEN.

Find something the kids can do. During those days you aren't going to your class you need to find something for the kids to do. My boys loved "Aquadoodle" when they were little (pens and a big drawing pad (made of plastic and cloth) which draw with WATER...no mess!). Also...a big bowl of uncooked rice and different sized cups are a big hit. They love dipping them in and pouring them out. It's hard to be mad at them when they pour it on the floor...especially when it vacuums up so easily.

Anyhow, in closing, what I'm getting at is that you NEED to add some ACTIVITY to your schedule. Even though it's hard to remember life without kids, you ARE more than just Mommy. You have a name, and an identity other than "SAHM." You're K.. Don't forget that. And because you are more than just "Mommy" you need a chance to take off the Mommy Hat and get out and just be K. for a while.

Find something JUST for K. and go do it. Talk to your husband about how you feel. It's hard for him to understand because he leaves the house and goes to work, but let him know how important it is to you that you don't lose your identity just because you chose to be at home. You don't want to feel like a prisoner in your own house. Getting out and doing something for you is a way to break out of the monotony.

Good Luck!

~C

Hey!!! I am so sorry you going through thi. But yes it sounds like it is. it is ok. alot of us through it. and you need to find someone to talk to. if you need names get back to me. I have names for you. When you feel down try to think happy thoughts. I don't know if you believe in God but if you do he can help you too. just ask him to give peace. Take care of your self. it is very important to take time for your self too.

Best wishes,
A.

It's not necessarily PPD. You could be simply depressed or a lot of time it's just stress that brings this out.

A change in the baby's sleeping pattern, your daughter's terrible twos becoming worse all can trigger feelings of helplessness and increase stress. The more stress you feel the more the kids are going to be stressed as well and continue to act out. So the first thing you do is work on you. The children are not doing anything because you are a bad mother. Don't take any action word or gesture personally, from anyone. Don't make assumptions about their motives, (they aren't secretly plotting to drive you insane). Do the best you can, even if it's not normal to anyone else. Be truthful with yourself and everyone else, If you just couldnt' focus on the laundry the tell your husband you couldn't focus on the laundry today.

Even if you have a diagnosis of PPD you're gonna need to lower your stress level. We did that by my husband taking on more chores and responsibility. He handled the morning routine with our oldest. Plus he did dishes, and handled the bed time routine. When I started staying home things did not change. He still did the morning routine, dishes and bed time routine. My husband has a closer relationship with our boys because of it. I feel more confident leaving them in his hands for a mom's night out, or Church Ladies meeting now. Being less stressed is definitly going to help any medication that you might take make you feel better.

For me the side effects were much more bothersome. I have ulcers and all the medications I tried made them worse, dehydrated me, and of course lowered my sex drive to nothing. Now keep in mind that I have Fibromyalgia(Chronic Fatigue), and BiPolar so I really should be on medications but we handle things the way we do because I have an incredibly understanding husband.

I do what I can to get more sleep, I talk to him about my feelings without him getting upset or judgemental. I exercise, eat, cry and take the weekends off. I have a very special husband and I show him that every chance I get.

I also use schedules to get me through the day.

You aren't alone. Keep using this place to reach out and you will feel better. Do what you can to get out of the house. I know that most of the streets over there don't have sidewalks so maybey you need to walk down the alleys.

Hello. I am a 27 year old mom of a 20 month old son and I wanted to tell you my experience with ppd. I had the baby blues and then got better for a while too. But then I started feeling overwhelmed and completely stressed out. I ended up having two anxiety attacks where I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I did not go to the hospital or anything. I thought that you had to be psychotic to have ppd. After the 2nd anxiety attack I went to my doc. My son was 14 months old then and I was diagnosed with ppd. He put me on Lexapro and luckily it worked first time for me. That was really lucky though. Within 2 days I felt better and within 1 month I felt back to normal. Please at least go talk to your doctor. I felt guilty going on antidepressents, but my doc assured me it was only for a limited time and now I know that it is best for my family also. I quit being edgy with my husband and son and I am so happy now.

I responded to the wrong post

Being a mom is hard. Having the patience for two little ones is even harder. Do you have friends with kids? Go to any playgroups? Get breaks from your children every now and then? Know other people with kids their ages?

I am also a SAHM mom with a 2 1/2 yr old and a 6 mo old. And I know that when I get that way I need to take some time to be me. Not Mommy or Wife. Just me. I get a babysitter for a couple hours and go to the bookstore, or out to get coffee with a friend, or even just grocery shoppping without the little ones.

It is tough being everything to little ones ALL day EVERY day. So it is equally important to make YOU happy.

Also, there is a program (in Wichita) called Parents As Teachers. They sponsor TONS of playgroups and give you new ideas of fun things to do with your kids..? You might look into it.

Hope this helps? Let me know.

I can totally relate with what you are saying. I have 2 boys, 2 yrs & 10 months. After my 2nd son, I found myself getting easily irritated and angry at them. I didn't know if it was just the stress of having 2 kids so close together or ppd. I never had any suicidal thoughts, but I didn't like the person I was becoming. I spoke to my doctor about it and she prescibed an anti-depressant. It was strange how within a few weeks, I was more focused, patient and had more energy. I didn't realize how depressed I really was until I got on medication and noticed the difference. I also started seeing a counselor to help me with not feeling so overwhelmed. Now, after 8 months of medication and therapy, I am no longer taking medication and feel good about being able to manage my life.

I don't want to say that medication is what you need and will solve your problems, but I truely believe ppd is a real thing! I would talk with your doctor and if you are able to see a counselor, try that too. I just know having 2 kids so close together is VERY stressful. Also, I would definitely try to make some time for yourself! Even if it is just going to the store by yourself or taking a walk. It is easy to say, but important to do! If I learned only one thing from being a parent, it was that I can't take care of my kids unless I take care of myself. Good luck and feel free to email me anytime!

I would talk to your doctor. It can be ppd and you not be suicidal.

Hey K. just wanted to write you and tell you that you are definitely not alone. I went through something quite similar. It was very hard for me to accept the fact that I was a young single mother and pretty much all of my freedom was gone. I was depressed a lot of times. But the advice that was given is so true. You have to find time for yourself. Whether its curling up with a good book, taking a bubble bath or just kicking it with your girlfriends. These are all great stress relievers. You have to do something to where you feel like yourself again, how you were before you were "Mommy". I have found also that once I became passionate about something in my life besides my kid I felt a whole new balance. Thats why i started working at home. Not only was I helping people, but i was helping myself and my family by setting up a great financial future for them. If you are ever interested in working at home check out www.FreedomAtHomeTeam.com/F.. Hope this helps, I know its helped me.

K.- Don't beat yourself up! PPD doesn't have to include suicidal thoughts. Just feeling overwhelmed or anxious or down on yourself warrants getting some help. There is no shame in asking for help! Suffering yourself and making your children suffer because you are struggling is a waste of precious moments in life. Talk to you doctor. Today. Just make an appointment and talk a little bit about what you're feeling. If you are open to some assistance in whatever form the doc suggests/recommends, you'll be doing yourself a world of good. Additionally, living in the country and staying home with two very young people would drive ANYONE crazy. Get out! Meet with family, friends, other moms. Join a book club, take dance lessons, take a cooking class. Anything! I think even a small change will help. But, bottom line--go see your doctor. He/she might just tell you to change some activity to help you perk up and manage stress a little better, or maybe you would benefit from an antidepressant. Speaking from experience, antideps are nothing to be afraid of and they work!! You won't have to take meds forever, but they can really really help.
Good luck.
Btw--what part of the 'country' do you live in?
If you want to talk more I'd love to :)

M.

I encourage you to speak with your doctor. Just because you don't feel sucidial dosen't mean you don't have post partum depression. Depression can manifest its self in many different ways. I know that we had a lot of medical problems with our second child and after I paid all the bills off and we were back on our feet again, I lost it. I couldn't focus and I was miserable with how I was treating my kids and my husband. I would snap at the girls and feel so bad about it later but not know how to make myself not do it. I finally went to the doctor and they put me on Effexor. I was a totally diffrent person after the medicine kicked in. I was more fun to be around and a lot less stressed out. I felt the same way about drowning. I just couldn't get with it. The meds really helped and talking to the doctor reminded me that being a parent is a hard thing and that everyone needs a little help now and then. Good luck, let us know how your doing.

K., as the others said PPD comes in differnt forms.
1st of all, being a SAHM isn't a bad thing, and you do work, but instead of money you get hugs and kisses for money. Day care is very expensive, and i know that many people can look down on SAHMs (i get it often) but you do work very hard.
2nd talk to your doc. It may be anxiety. I myself suffer from GAD (gernalized anxiety disorder) and often times i get a lump in my neck, and i feel like i'm "drowing" Anxiety can be very serious, esp if it gets to the point of attacks. So, my best suggestion would be to call the doc, and explain your feelings, and explore your options.
Things will get better

J.

This is normal! My 2 boys were 21 months apart and I went through the same thing. It is so hard to get out of the house, you feel isolated and don't have the energy or drive to even fix your hair somedays! My boys are now 2 and 3 1/2 and we get out a lot more now since they are older. I reall y don't have much advice other than to try and find a part time job to give you some grown up time and that should pay for child care. I know it isn't worth it to work, but if you break even then at least you will have some time to feel better about yourself. I always say that it is hard to appreciate something if you are never given a chance to miss it. You will miss your babies while working, but you will come and pick them up refreshed and energized. They will be so happy to see you too. This will also might make you qualify for the earned income credit come tax time, so keep that in mind. You can get deductions for child care too. If you need any other advice, feel free to message me!

Dear K.

First I just want to let you know that you aren't the only mother to go through this. I have four children and have been a stay at home since I found out I was pregnant with my oldest almost 8 years ago. I have the same problems even now. At times I feel like I have just lost control of everything in my life. Sometimes it feels like I can't get a handle on anything.
You say your not working and that is a hard thing to go through. To have interaction with adults and have what seems like a normal adult life because you get to be around other adults to not seeing people other then your kids and spouse some days.
I do want to ask if you ever get the chance to leave the house alone? Even if it is to go to the store? Do you get to go out with friends from time to time? Sometimes when you become a mother at least this is how I felt, you feel like you are suppose to devote all your time and effort to your children. And then some where in our make up as mothers when we do snap at our children and we feel like we are the worst parents on earth.

I would say if you can try and get away once in a while when your husband gets home from work. See if you can get a way once a week with friends. Hell I have nothing to do every night but Monday's and Friday's. Find someone to go get dinner with or just chips and salsa.

My mother told me years ago. That if you don't take care of yourself and treasure the person that you are you will never be the wife mother daughter friend that you want or should be.

Best of luck to you.

M.

Like they said... so many diffrent forms. I had post partum anxiety and it lasted for awhile. I just wouldn't sleep for days because I would be so nervous. She was an awesome baby, but I just never slept because I was nervous. Don't be afraid to talk to your dr about it...but please do it, for your sake and your kids. We're all better in every aspect of our life when we feel our best...

In my non medicle oppinion it sounds like PPD to me. I would talk to a dr and get low dose anti-depresents just for a little wile (6mo -1year) to take the edge off. Hopefuly you have lots of suport like family or church to help you. Hang in there you are a good mom just tired.

I would definitely talk to your doctor. Whether it's actually ppd or not (I'm no doctor, but it sounds like it might be- these things are on a spectrum, they aren't black or white), you shouldn't have to feel like that. Maybe you need meds, or maybe you just need some counseling and an occasional break, but take care of yourself and see a professional. In the long run, you and your children will be glad you did. Good luck!
-A.

Hi K.,
My goodness girl..........you have your hands full and it can get a bit overwhelming at times.
Do you have friends to do things with or visit?
Also you might try Mothers Day out so you can get some time to yourself. Call the First Methodist Church, 200 S. 6TH,###-###-####. They use to have a Mothers Day Out program and I think they still do. I don't remember if it cost anything but if so I don't think it was very much. They did this one or two a week.
You need also to talk with your doctor about the way you are feeling and perhaps he can help you or call Edwin Fair Mental Health and they can help you.
It is best to be safe hun, before the edginess gets out of control.
Prayers that you can get some help.
Hugsm
K.

It sounds like ppd to me. I know no mother wants to think that about themselves, but it's better to think that and get treated than to end up going psycho and drowning your kids in the bathtub.
Is there anything else major going on in your life? I was asked if I was suffering from ppd because when my son was first born I was crying everyday. But that was just because my crazy mom was here and driving me nuts. After she left I was fine.
Talk to your doctor. Talk to your friends too. Do you think that it might be that you're with your kids too much? There is such a thing you know. Mayeb somebody you know oculd watch them for an hour or so while you go wander around the mall or something.
I hope everything works out for you. I don't want to read about you in the paper;)

Please talk with your doctor. You don't have to be suicidal to have ppd. Your symptoms sound alot like ppd and there is also the possibility of your hormones being out of whack. If you are on any form of hormonal birth control, that could possibly be contributing to your feelings. I took the Depo-Provera shot 3 times after my son was born and it completely messed up my hormones and I thought I was losing my mind. I had all the same symptoms you described. Finally figured out that the shot was causing alot of it and once the last one was out of my system, I was back to normal. But only your doctor can diagnose whether or not you have ppd or if there is a hormonal cause. It is worth it to get checked out, for your sake and the sake of your family.

K. - As far as PPD - contact MOTHER TO MOTHER - they are a phone support group for women with PPD. They also have support group meetings. ###-###-#### ext 4 Leave a message they WILL get back to you. They have been a great help in my life.
I am also at home with my son. He is 2 1/2 I am still taking meds for PPD. Being someone who has always worked until my son was born. It was very hard to get used to being at home. In Jefferson county their is also a group called TPN- the parenting network. It is for stay at home moms. meetings to go to with free childcare divided by age. (They take great care of the kids) a chance for moms to get out of the house and have time with other moms, at no cost. Check them out to if you are in Jefferson County. ###-###-#### x18

Hang in there. D.

just because you are not suicidal does not mean that it is not ppd. i never once felt suicidal...like running away never looking back maybe...but never suicidal when i was dealing with my ppd. my best advice is to go to your doctor and tell him or her what you have said here, and be honest with them. also, as i'm sure your doc will tell you, if the first med (if that is the treatment you two chose) doesn't work or you don't like a side effect, go back to the doc and try another one. i was on my third before i found one that made me feel like myself and had side effects that didn't bother me. really, i feel not side effects with this one. also, having a close friend or relative to talk to about your feelings can help too. i talked to my best friend and mother in law a lot when i was first dealing with mine. it also gave me peace of mind that someone knew what was going on in case i started to slip back into depression.

now for feeling guilty that you don't work, do you have any friends you could go visit so your kids could play together and you could get some adult convo? or what about getting a part time job 2 days a week or so? are you in parents as teachers? it's free, wonderful (i look forward to our home visits), and they offer activities (speakers, plays, and holiday parties for st. patrick's day, 4th of july, ect.) and that would be a perfect place to meet other parents that maybe you could watch their kids one afternoon a month and they could watch yours one afternoon a month and they you both get some much deserved "me time".

just a few ideas on stuff i did to help deal with my ppd. i know it can be tough, but there is no need to go it alone!! my ppd almost cost me my marriage. it wasn't until my husband told me that he wasn't sure how much longer he could stay married to (as he put it) "this woman" and went on to tell me that i was no longer the woman he married. if you have any other questions, or need someone to talk to, i'm here. good luck and i will keep you in my prayers.

Hi K.,
Scheewww, I hear your concerns. Believe me I have been there. When our second child was born, we had just moved, I was struggling with the decision I felt forced to make of being a stay at home mom and feeling all alone. Overwhelmed I felt like I had no way out, who understood and wasn't I supposed to be elated to be at home with my 2 kids. All real emotions. Like you, my frustration started showing up with my kids. Over time I began to realize it was my attitude. You know of feeling trapped, alone, not appreciated that was really killing me. I began to look at my situation as a great honor to be the one to instill in my kids, take care of my home and family. I quit telling myself, I am just a stay at home mom and started seeing myself as specifically chosen to be a woman, wife, mom and homemaker. Then I began looking for opportunities to be with other moms who had the same attitude. (Don't waste your time on the ones who think it is a low position.) Not finding a particular group, I formed one of my own. I invited 2 women with small kids at home to my house for a play date once a week. In a short time this grew to 10 women with children and we started planning park days, library days, Mcdonald's days.... We also started a study about being honored in our role. Let me tell you girl, this empowered me!

You are right in wanting to rule out PPD. Check the websites, see if you have any of the symptoms but don't stop there. If PPD is not the issue DO SOMETHING, you can change this! I did.

BTW, I live out in the country as well. That made for wonderful play times as people wanted to come to my house.

I work with a crisis pregnancy center and know of a couple good parenting classes, if you feel that is what you need. just ask, I'll be glad to share.

May you know TODAY how special you are to be a mommie, and may you sense God's arms of love around you.
L.

I'm not sure about PPD. But I swear this sounds just like myself!!! What's even more weird I'm 29 years old and kinda sorta live in the country. LOL I tend to lose my patience with my kids and also my husband. That's another thing we have in common I've been married since Sept. 2003. A little over 3 years. I also have two kids. A two year boy and a 7 month old girl. I don't feel guilty about not working because I love staying home with my kids. I just feel like I need something to stimulate my brain. I think with spring coming on things will get better. More things to do. Just hang in there! Have you talked to your husband or even your doctor about how your feeling? When I get that freaked out feeling, just talking to my husband makes me feel sooo much better. Even if he doesn't have any insight. Just getting it all out does wonders!

There was just a request similar to yours. First of all..don't think you're alone!! MANY women(I would say MOST if they were honest) would say that they really struggled w/ hormones OR the weight of the responsibility of having a child. Staying at home it is easy to resent the life change and loss of freedom.

I would start by letting your Doc evalutate if it's just normal hormone flucuations, baby blues, stress-depression, or PPD.

You HAVE to make time for you. It would help you WORLDS to have all your responsibilities lifted every once in a while. Even if it's just to get out and roam around a store for a while. You will feel "part of the world" and "human" again.

You said you want to be the best mother you can be. I promise you that it would be hard to accomplish that without a break!!

Get checked out and tell your husband he's going to have to step up and give you a break once in a while so that his kids have the best mommy that you can be!

Pray for peace and direction!

I am going to suggest something that might sound radical! It sounds like your seratonin levels are low and you might need a seratonin booster. I remember when I was your age and felt the same way you did. It was like I could watch myself yelling at my kids and know I shouldn't be doing it, but felt helpless to stop myself. I didn't get started on what I call my happy pills until I was well into my 30's(I am 47 now and still take them). My children and husband would have had a much happier, loving mother and wife if I had only known then what I know now. The doctor explained it like this," Some people have low thyroid levels, or take insulin, seratonin, is like that. Some people have low seratonin levels and just nees a little boost. " Also, you absolutely have to get with other young mothers. Our husbands can't meet all our emotional needs. We have to have the support of other women. It helps so much to know somebody else is experienceing the same thing you are. If you don't agree with all this, just let it go in one ear and out the other, but I feel for you.

Make sure you're getting you time away from the kiddos. Drowning was exactly how I have been feeling. I get like that when I'm cooped up in the house with my girls for several days at a time. I've had to start finding play groups to go to so I can have adult conversation and have them spend the night with grandma every once in a while so my husband and I can have our time. It's refreshing to have some time away from the kids, out with friends or something, so everyone can miss you and you can miss them and everyone can have a breather. Take walks with the kids too (stress reliever). If you try a lot of things and it's just not getting better, I'd talk to your dr.

I recently stopped working and have a 3 year old. It has been difficult at times, especially with the weather being so cold and nasty this time of year. My saving grace (strange as it sounds) is that my husband works an odd shift, 2pm-12:30am, which gives me some well-needed quiet and housework time after my girl goes to sleep. Does your nearest town have a ymca? It may be less expensive than daycare, and will allow you to have time with your kids AND other adults.
Your doctor is the only one who can diagnose ppd, but you are not alone in your feelings! Motherhood is overwhelming on it's best days. Take one day a month that is for you. I save up my loose change and when I have an extra $20, I get a sitter for the day and get out of the house. I am near Kansas City, so I go to City Market or the Nelson-Adkins museum. The museum is free, and I can wander at my own pace and de-stress.
Good luck!