How to Politely Say No

Updated on November 03, 2012
A.K. asks from Omaha, NE
24 answers

I am going to preface this by saying, I hate to tell people no. Its one of my faults. I guess its b/c I am a people pleaser and it a personal fault. There is this girl who I met at a conference and she keeps trying to get me to buy her product and then go in under her to sell the product. She is a very nice person so I don't want to hurt her feelings and her product is very good. I just dont want to use it. I know
many of you are thinking, "A., just tell her no. You will never see her again." And I probably wont. She has tried friending me on Facebook and calls and texts me all of the time. How do you guys handle situations like this?

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So What Happened?

You are all so very awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Appreciate your help!!!!!!!!!!!

Featured Answers

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

"I've given it some thought, and I am not interested at this time. Thank you for the information though."

4 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Thanks, but I'm not interested.

Or No, thank you for thinking of me though.

Otherwise she'll just keep pushing the longer you keep giving mixed signals. Sorry.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I know you've received a lot of good responses already, but I wanted to reiterate that a simple "no" is always effective. So many of us feel the need to make excuses or provide reasons as to why we can't or won't do something, and it's totally not necessary!!

I have "friends" who only call for me to babysit their kids and I have had to train myself to simply say "Sorry, I can't." And then stop talking! No one will ever say "why?" or "you need to give me a good reason".

I like to treat some of these people as I do small children. We learn early on not to over explain things. Sometimes adults need that too (especially some of the ladies with their home sales businesses). A simple "no" says it all!

3 moms found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested." If her feelings are hurt, it's not your problem. You did nothing worthy of feelings hurt. You are giving this situation too much credit. She is not seeking friendship, she is seeking an avenue to make money. This isn't about feelings and personal value, but money. (Sorry to be harsh.)

That's enough. She is calling and texting all the time, because you haven't said no!!

6 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You care too much about offending her.
'Nice' people do not hunt you to the ground.
She's not caring that she's offending you.
You are going to hold this in until it explodes.
So don't do that.
Tell her "Sorry - I'm not interested".
I can pretty much guarantee you she HAS heard the word 'No' sometime before.
It should not bring her world crashing down around her ears - do not fear that it will.
In business - you can not afford hurt feelings.
If she pursues you after that then "Guess I didn't make myself clear - No, I am not interested".
If she persists - she's getting rude now - you do NOT owe her any niceness.
"You are harassing me now - if you don't stop I'm reporting you to the BBB and the hierarchy of your company.".

5 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

"No thank you, I'm not interested."

Just remember, as nice as she seems, she's trying to use you to make HER money. Keep that in the back of your mind. It will make saying no easier.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

If you are "leading her on" by not saying no, them she won't just stop trying to contact you. You have to say something or she will not know how you feel. You can always say something polite like, "While I love the product you are selling, I just don't have the funds to purchase right now, nor the time to sell." You ar enot the first person to have said no, and you will not be the last. Make sure you keep her contact information though, in case you decide you would like to buy the product at a later date.

Just do it!!! :)

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes, just say no, you are not interested.

The thing is: she is hounding you and being PUSHY.
She probably knows... that if she hassles you and hounds you enough, you will cave in. So then she will get what she wants- you to give in.
Then, once you give in, then YOU will be even more at her beck and call. And then you will keep telling her okay or yes, because you cannot tell her No.
Then a vicious cycle will ensue, and then in hindsight, you will WISH you told her No, in the first place.

She doesn't care about you, so why care about hurting her feelings?
To her, you are ONLY another, recruit who she can list under her and have you as an income stream... for HER.
So, she ain't no BFF to you.
Why, give in?
Just tell her, NO.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Give her the courtesy of the truth. You will save her time and energy

. "No thank you, I am not interested." You do not have to give a reason.. If she insists, tell her, you are just not interested in the product, but good luck to her.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

"I'm not interested in buying or selling anything. Please stop contacting me about it."

Some people are very pushy, especially if their own commissions rely on getting more people in. If she keeps trying to friend you on FB or text you or call you, tell her you are not interested in the product, please stop. If she doesn't, stop returning or answering her calls. Role play with someone else if you need to so you can feel confident. Don't sugar coat it. "No, I am not interested. Please stop or I will have to block you."

You may not want to hurt her feelings, but she's also putting you in a bind if you ask her to stop and then she doesn't. She's not thinking of your feelings.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Just bite the bullet and tell that you are not interested in buying or selling her products in a very matter of fact way. If she is on the phone when you speak, tell that and hang up with no explanation. It may be blunt but you are going to have to be bold and mean it. Otherwise every person you meet who sells will be hounding you to do their work.

People like this are not friends they are only after you to do their bidding to get to the top and will not remember you when and if you ever do join the company.

Learn not to get pushed around by the bullies and stand your ground. Remember not everyone you meet wants to be a "true" friend -- acquaintances and friends are different where does she stand? The sooner you learn to say no and walk away the better you will be.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

PS She is not worried about your feelings why should you worry about hers?

3 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Just an FYI...as a sales person, you don't want to say "at this time" (or any variation) as part of you saying no. "I'm not interested AT THIS TIME" implies there is still a chance you may be interested in the future. So leave all that out. A simple, "I appreciate you giving me the chance to make more money and use these products, but I'm just not interested (or "its just not something I know I can do") and leave it at that. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

She's not a friend, she's just someone you met at conference. So why are you so worried about hurting her feelings here?

"I know your product's good, but I am truly not interested in buying it or selling it either. I have a lot of other things going on and won't be interested in the future either. If you want to call or text about something else, do, but we'll drop the topic of (product) since I'm not going to buy it or have time to sell it."

I bet she won't be back in touch!

If she persists even after that brush-off: "Back in November, I did say that I'm not going to buy or sell Product, remember? I was clear about it. So please don't ask again." Then block her texts and calls if you can do that. Seeing that she is blocked should really give her the message. And for goodness' sake, don't let her friend you on Facebook either.

If you are not good at saying no, write out a script and rehearse it, and write a draft text/email and edit it so it's firm and just right. Then have the script by the phone for when she calls and the text stored to use when she next contacts you that way. Practice what you'll say or write. Act like it's a play and these are your lines, so you do not get thrown off by her pleading!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

That's a lot of votes for simply saying, "No, I'm not interested."

You have to practice in the mirror. By yourself and role play before you give it a go.

I learned in a Co-Dependent support group a little trick for people who have a hard time saying no, is to go through a drive through and say no to the upgrades. But now drive thrus don't ask you to upgrade as often.

My personal favorite, when I get asked to join someone's up line, pyramid scheme, sell my product, is: "No thank you, I am not ready to launch into anything new in my life right now. I'll let you know if that changes."

The main point behind the message that's important to get across is I won't commit to anything unless I know I can be successful at it. And for me, that usually means the amount of time that needs to be invested upfront for these companies is huge, and the odds are not concrete. So, the bottom line, unless you are interested and absolutely love the product and committed to selling it and are going to use it for the next 10 years or so, you probably just aren't interested. And it's perfectly OK to tell someone you are not interested.

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I've also had some very pushy MLM'rs approach me over and over.

What works best for me is to reply:

"Thank you so much, but I do not mix business with my friends"

I have a relative just dying to sign me up fo rher jewelty line and I don't wear costume jewelry at all.... The last time I heard from her was... "You need to do something where you are your won boss and manage your own schedule"

I replied... "Wow, I already do that by managing our company with projected sales of 4 million this year (truth) and I also enjoy substitute teaching as well as fundraising and volunteering for my daughter's school so I am pretty booked with managing my own schedule and bringing in my own money. Thanks anyway! I wish you the best with your business"

3 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

This gal you met at the conference isn't even your friend, A.. Think of her like a saleslady in a store running after you down the street begging you to come back in the store and buy something. You wouldn't do that, would you? You wouldn't invite her into your facebook, would you?

You aren't hurting her feelings. Why would you think it would hurt her feelings? She is in sales - sales people get told NO all the time. Sales people don't stay in the business long if they can't stand being told NO.

Truthfully, if she were your BEST friend, you should still say no to going into business with her if that isn't something you want to do. SO much easier with a vertiable stranger.

Good luck and stay strong!
Dawn

2 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I hate those types of things, too. Just say, "No, thank you. I'm happy with my current product, and I don't have time to commit to selling it or hosting a party."

2 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Tell her I am sorry at this time I don' t feel this is something that I can do.

2 moms found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Boston on

I'm not interested at this time, but thank you for your offer!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm not interested. It's just not my thing. Have a nice day! Bye."

Will work in text/email/phone :)

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

"GO AWAY!!!" .... Oh wait, that wasn't polite... :) Umm... How about "The products are just too expensive for me, and I've already got too much on my plate to take on trying to sell anything." From what I've seen, most of the ones from those home selling things usually ARE pretty expensive, even if they might be worth the investment in some situations.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Miami on

I'd just say No Thanks its not for me

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

"Thank you, but no. I'm not interested. Please stop texting me."

"Thank you, but no. I'm still not interested. Please stop calling me."

BLOCK her on Facebook. She won't be able to even see you anywhere on FB let alone attempt to add you as a friend again.

If your phone services have this service included, then line block her phone number. Block her e-mail too.

"No" in and of itself is not rude. Adding please and thank you softens it up quite a bit. If she continues after this you can report her to the company she works for. She's not being a very good representative for the company.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

"Thanks for the information. I'll give you a call if / when I'm ready to move forward."

Do not respond to requests, texts, etc or it'll never stop.

1 mom found this helpful
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