How Would U Take It If Husband Lied About a Picture That Hes Ex Took

Maybe because he was afraid that you would over-analyze and overreact? Apparently he thinks that it would matter to you who took the photo?

I agree with the others. Why would you set out to make any subject unapproachable? Happy successful marriages require mutual trust, respect and communication. You're demonstrating by behavior you're lacking in all of these. The root issue is larger than the symptom you've talked about here.

If you love him and want to stay married, get some help. Otherwise you'll be divorced when he's done trying to defend himself for doing nothing wrong. Is it ok to lie? No. Is it okay to behave the way you are? NO. If you want him to be able to tell you the truth, create an environment that makes it safe to do so.

Please get counseling either way. Blended families are challenging. Having help navigate those waters is always a good thing.

Why lie? Because as soon as you hear her name you get mad.

Can you blame him for lying, when he knows you're going to get mad about it?

welcome to mamapedia.

Now you need to grow up. You need to post like an adult instead of some teenager on twitter.

1. This W. is going to be involved in your life whether you like it or not. They have a son together. If you cannot handle HEARING her name? You need to leave the marriage and relationship TODAY.
2. He LIED because of your reaction. You are your own worst enemy. You get mad at hearing her name? Pahlease. That's a high school reaction.
3. WHY are you checking his phone?
4. WHY are you hounding him?

You need therapy. STRONG one-on-one THERAPY. You need to leave this marriage. You are not mature enough to handle a relationship with anyone who has a past. This is proven by you not being able to understand why your husband and his son would have a picture taken together by the boy's mom! Girl. Get a hold of yourself. You really need help.

You are mad because she took a picture of your husband and your stepson? Your husband didn't want to tell you because you get upset when her name is mentioned?

There either is a lot of information I'm missing, or you've got some issues.

I would not put him in a position to lie. Sounds like you do get upset when his ex wife is mentioned. Consider that your husband's explanation has merit.

I don't understand why this picture upsets you. Sounds like you're jealous. Sounds like you look for ways to believe your husband is unfaithfull. Sounds like you don't trust your husband. I suggest you get help by talking with a counselor.

If my husband had a picture like this, I would not be upset. I'd be happy to have a picture of my husband with his son.

Why on earth would you even obsess, keep asking, over and over, about a picture of your husband and his son? That sounds a lot more off than trying to change the subject with a wife who has issues with his ex.

I don't really considering this lying so much as not wanting to deal with your issues. You need to figure out why you aren't reacting like a normal person.

I would ask myself why my poor husband feels the need to walk on egg shells around me. Clearly your husband lied because he knew you would get mad. Be the kind of wife that your husband wants to come home to. It's kind of crazy to get mad by just hearing his ex's name ya know.

Did you not know when you married him that he was married before?

Your husband has a picture of his child taken by the mother of his child and this upsets you?

ooh where do I start?

Are you 18? You are upset over his ex, whether she was his wife or his girlfriend, that you can't hear her name without getting upset? That sounds like the actions of a teenager or younger.

Your husband has "baggage". That baggage is his child. With that child comes a mother. You deal with it. If you can't deal with it? You need to divorce your husband and find someone who doesn't come with baggage.

Well, he knows that if he's honest with you then you will just get mad, you said it yourself "He said he didn't say anything because as soon as I hear her name I get mad."
Being jealous of an ex wife is really, really immature, and so is getting mad so easily.

This is not a texting forum and it was difficult to decipher your message. If you want to be taken seriously and not like a jealous teen, please write your post like an adult.

YOU knew he had a child so YOU were aware of an ex in the picture.
If YOU can't handle an ex, then WHY did you marry him?

Good grief, she only took the picture of him with HIS son.

You are really a piece of work and if you want your marriage to work you need to get some serious help before he wakes up and sees what a piece of work you really are.

So you are pissed because his ex-wife took a picture of him and their son? Seriously? You married a man with a past. If you get mad just "hearing" her name that's on YOU!! Why did he "lie"? Because you are insecure and insensitive. That's why. If you want the title ex-wife, you need to get your act together.

Grow up and get some family counseling. Blended families are difficult and it sounds like you are making it way more harder than it needs to be.

Maybe it was to keep peace in the house. But, you can't let it go and did grill him. You can't do this all the time and expect to have a marriage. He will get tired and he might file for divorce from you before you can file from him because of your insecurities.

Get counseling and work on you on how to be an adult and a wife.

A lie is not good but who wants to deal with a thousand questions about who took a picture of a child? Be happy that he has a relationship with the mom. This woman will be in your life for as long as you are married to your husband so you need to grow some balls and deal with it.

I have a grandson whose mom is not my DIL and they worked together to bring him up. Grandson is now 19 and an adult. He is loved by many and has many cousins of various ages from infant to late 20s. So get rid of the green eyed monster and learn to live your life. Life is too short to be worried over an ex wife.

the other S.

He lies because he doesn't want to deal with your irrational reaction. If he was up to no good and lying, that's one thing. You haven't mentioned that. He just doesn't want to deal with the grief.

I would take it that you guys need counseling. Getting mad that his ex took a picture of him and his son is ridiculous. Getting mad that he's dating her is normal. See the difference? Go get help.

obviously he lies because 'as soon as you hear her name you get mad.'
i assume she's the mother of the boy in question.
what's your deal?
you're so ugly about the fact that your husband had a relationship before you that you'll even toast him over looking at a photo of his own son?
you're a piece of work.
i hope he wakes up soon and finds himself a sane woman.
khairete
S.

Why the lie is because of exactly what he said - everytime you hear the ex's name, you get mad. GROW UP. She's the mother of his child. If you can't get past that, you shouldn't be married to someone with a child from another relationship.

When you beat somebody up over and over because of an association that they had every right to make in their past, like a marriage and child, you are just asking them to hide stuff from you. The idea that you would grill him over a picture of his CHILD, a PICTURE of his CHILD, is just astounding. And ludicrous. And the ex didn't even send it!

Back off about the ex. She will be in his life in some way, shape or form for years to come because they share a child. Don't make him wish that you were his ex too. Keep this up, and you will.

Do you want a happy marriage or not? If yes, you need to get a hold of yourself, accept that he was married before. Also accept that he CHOSE YOU and be confident in that.

If you get mad at the mention of her name - which you are doing here - even though the picture is of him and his son, that's the issue.

YOU need to stop being insecure about the fact that he was married before and has a child who has a mother that's not you. You are the problem here, not him.

You will push him away if you keep acting like this.

Do you get mad as soon as you hear her name? Make sure you always evaluate your behavior before you make assumptions about other people.
Of course it's not OK to lie, but don't scare the man or he will do anything to appease you.

I would guess he lied because he's worried and trying to make you happy. Do you always get jealous and mad? Why do you get mad when you hear his ex's name? Why are you grilling him about who took the picture? Life goes on. Please try not to get so upset about things. It's not worth it.

Like you, I married a man who'd been married before. I have 2 stepdaughters. By using the prefix "step", you and I acknowledge that our husband's were in a prior relationship and had children, right? So why do you get mad every time you hear her name? Are you trying to pretend she doesn't exist? You're married to him, she's not. What's the problem?

This is your problem to solve, your insecurity. If you have a good marriage, you can approach life with trust and confidence. If you are mad at your husband and basically blaming him for being with someone before he met you, you're doomed.

And this stepson is going to spend time with you knowing that you despise or fear his mother? What is that going to do to him, his self-esteem, and his relationship with you? That's an excellent way to turn him against you, and to let him know that he's not a whole person in your eyes because he has "that woman" as his mother.

I'm not sure what "aperantle" means. Are you trying to say "apparently"? So you are saying that you think his ex took a picture of him with his own son, and you're upset about that? I think it's great if she did - or if anyone did - and sent it to him! I assume your husband sees his ex when he picks up and drops off his son, right? I assume (and hope and pray) that they speak with each other about the health and wellbeing of this child. If you hate her with a passion, you are disrespecting your husband by really saying he's a loser for having been with her at one time.

While I don't think your husband should lie (because I don't think any marriage that involves lying is in good shape), I can understand that he would hide things from you because you are irrational about getting angry all the time the second you hear his ex's name.

I'd go to counseling, together or just you alone, to find out why you are so insecure and what both you and he can do to make the marriage more based on trust and respect and less on jealousy and anger.

If I understand correctly, the ex took a picture of your husband with his son, which was shared with at least one other family member and sent to your husband? That is a normal thing and nothing to be upset about.

Is it true that you get mad just hearing the ex's name? If so, then a big problem in your marriage is your attitude and behavior. I'm not saying it is right or okay to lie, but it isn't uncommon for people to resort to avoidance tactics when the person they are dealing with is prone to dramatics. His ex will be part of your husband's life forever because they share a child. You are going to have to get over it if you want your marriage to survive.

If you want a relationship of openness, you have to be the kind of person who is calmly receptive to it, even when you don't like what you hear.

a picture of your husband and his son? and your upset? you ahve bigger problems if your upset about where a picture came from. step back reevaluate why you care if the childs mom took a pic and sent it to the uncle or dad. its her kid, its her kids dad. get over it.
for the lying. stop putting your husband in a position to feel the need to lie about something that occurred with his child.

Are you upset because he was in the same place as his ex? I ask this because you say he claims he didn't know the ex had taken the picture. Were they at your step-son's game or school event, or was the photo taken when he was picking up the child? Maybe it was an old photo? Or, are you mad that she sent it to him? Or, all of the above?

It seems pretty clear why he's not being upfront with you if you go ballistic whenever you hear her name.

As long as your husband has given you no reason to distrust him (as in you were not romantically involved with him while he was married sort of thing), you should give him the benefit of the doubt and realize he was probably not telling you who took the photo because he didn't want to deal with your drama.

If this ex is the mother of your step-son, you must learn to get a grip on yourself, or you will drive a wedge between you and your husband and may destroy your marriage in the process. You should feel comfortable saying the ex's name and talking about her in a tone that is positive and not tinged with any hatred. She is the mother of your step-son, after all, and you MUST be respectful when talking about her. He does not deserve to hear his step-mother speaking negatively about his mother or otherwise throwing a fit whenever his mom's name is mentioned. I know you'll say you don't do this in front of the child, but if you don't stop this, he will certainly be able to pick up on your animosity the older he gets.

Your husband and his ex need to communicate with each other regarding their child, so you need to do whatever it takes (counseling, therapy) to learn to be comfortable with that. There will be many times where they, and hopefully, you will all be in the same place at the same time---sporting events, awards ceremonies, recitals, graduations, etc. supporting this child. You need to learn to be comfortable with that because it is the best situation for your step-son to see all of the adults involved in his life getting along and working together for his benefit.

Please get some help with this before you destroy your marriage.

I am a step-mother, so I do have some perspective on this and know that children thrive when all of the adults in their lives are on the same page.

I'm sure there is more to this story (lots more) but you need to let this go. It's a pic of your hubby and his son. Who cares who took the picture? But like I said, there is lots of history here.

What you should take from this is that you have made it almost impossible for your husband to be truthful with you, because you overreact. Apologize to him for being so unreasonable, then follow it up be allowing him to mention her in normal contexts without freaking out.

I don't know it's really hard to read your question with the total lack of punctuation but the first thought that comes to mind is how ragingly insecure are you he clearly lied to you because of it

You don't trust him.
You've got a catch 22 thing going here.
He's trying to avoid getting you mad - sparing your feelings - and lying to you seems the best way for him to do that - AND you get mad if he lies or sees his ex.
What exactly is he suppose to do to NOT get you mad?
IF you can manage to NOT get so bent out of shape - he MIGHT be able to tell you the truth.

(Or maybe he's just a pathological liar.)

You married a man who has a child with someone else.
That child will ALWAYS be a connection to the boys mother.
You knew what you were getting into and you got into it anyway.
If that no longer works for you - you have to evaluate what's keeping you in this marriage.
Maybe some marriage counseling to improve communication between Hubby and you will help a lot.
If you and he can't get on the same page - then move on already and find another husband.

Would you have gotten mad if you knew his ex took the picture? Have you gotten mad about things involving the mother of his son in the past? If so I can see why he skated around the truth. The fact is this women will be a part of his life always, and they may send pictures and do other friendly things because they are co-parents and being friends and nice to each other (such as sharing pictures of their child ect) is what is best for the child and it helps create a space/situation where the child feels loved and safe even if his parents are not together. I know lying is never okay, but maybe rather than just getting upset he lied, really examine what it is in your own behavior that made him feel he needed to hide this simple truth from you, because getting a picture or text from the mother of his child should really be no big deal, in fact is should be expected and normal.

The other ladies have made great points-- you don't trust him therefore he lied. What I also read, is that he said he did not know his ex took the picture. Is that why you are upset? Is it because she was there, wherever he was, and she was not supposed to be there and he lied about her presence? If you don't trust him because you believe they might be having relations outside of the "we talk because we care about our son" realm, then you really need to evaluate your marriage. If there was ever any amount of cheating, then that will always be a black cloud. Either way, you obviously don't trust him. Cheating aside, you need to seek some form of help to figure out why that is before insecurities ruin the marriage for you. Good luck!

I am confused. So your husband and his son in a photo and he went somewhere to meet his ex so she could take the photo? He saw her and that's what the lie is?

Otherwise who cares who took a photo years ago. You sound jealous and childish. If you want to be married to his man you need to work through your insecurity issues and be an adult.

If he gets tired of this sort of thing he's going to move on. He evidently loves you because he is with you and he married you. If you can't settle on that and allow yourself to trust that then you don't have a marriage at all. You have a divorce waiting to happen. Sorry to be blunt. People just don't want to be with demanding, controlling people.

She is his 'ex'...you wrote that here. His 'ex'. You are his current and -for better and worse- his forever wife from what I can tell. Listen to this ladies here and I'd remind myself of that everytime she is mentioned, everytime you look at your step son and every time you have a fleeing thought about her. She is the ex. Don't insult his taste. He wants to be with YOU forever. Not her.

Your husbands brother, sent a picture of his own nephew (your husbands son), to him and somehow in all that we are stuck on who took the picture?

Husband is thinking to himself, hmmm, if my own brother can't share pics of my own kid with me without my wife needing to know the who what when where why & how, there might be a problem...

What do you think it means? Was it code? Was brother secretly saying, here take this, your true love took this picture, cherish it forever! I know you love her more & don't love your wife!??
Come on now girl, your crazy is showing & it has scared your husband...!