How Would You Feel If This Were Your Son?

I would feel sad for my son and I would take no action other than to be sympathetic and listen if he wants to talk.

needing a new email password does not mean you need to set up new everything. I've forgotten an email password, gotten new one only for email and still had access to all my other accounts. I've also changed email providers and still had access to everything else.

Perhaps you keep asking the same question because you have difficulty understanding how life works just as you don't understand how the Internetworks. I suggest that instead of ccontinuing to ask us at mamapedia that you make an appointment with a counselor. I sympathize with you.

It's easy to recognize you even though you've made a new profile. I say this in all seriousness, please seek some sort of counseling for yourself and son, maybe that person could help to advance a coping skill set.

They say the definition of idiocy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

On your old profile you asked the same question four different ways and still got the same answers. This question is not significantly different.

I actually do not believe your lost your information you just don't want people to be able to access the mistakes you made trolling before that everyone pointed out. Things like your adult son converted to Mormon and you didn't understand the faith blah blah blah, then the next question saying your younger son converted a while ago and another direction.

Doris, yeah, I too remember something about stupid cussing and broken phones but not her son's fault.

I'm remembering your previous post without the benefit of being able to go back and read it. I seem to remember red flags in my head because your son has anger management issues. You haven't mentioned that here.

I don't actually fault your husband for what he has said to your son. Your son is old enough now to hear that. The way I see what you have been telling us is that you think that both parents are supposed to work with him to figure out his emotions. Your ex is treating him more like an adult. That's not necessarily callous. It's not YOUR way, but it's not wrong.

If your son hasn't gotten a counselor since this happened, he should. Your ex is NOT a counselor. Don't expect him to be one.

I'd take no action except to listen to him.
He's old enough to manage his own friendships and there are plenty of guys who aren't in touch with their emotions.
Women tend to be and men tend not to be (though there are exceptions on both sides).
There are plenty of people who make it through high school and then have nothing to do with their old classmates - but then go on to have a lot of college friends.
There's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer.
He's still looking for the right peer group to fit in with - and that's fine.
If you have concerns then get some family counseling for you and your son.

So long as he has friends somewhere, I would not worry about him. He's learning about these people and making decisions about whether or not they are worth his time. I would not worry about his father's reaction so much as why you are so worried about your young man's choice. You already knew he moved away from there because of his relationship with his dad and inability to fit in. Why is this a surprise? Why would he want to be around a bully anyway?

Sure, it hurts a mother's heart when her child is pained, but do not take it on as your own pain or your own life or your own cause. It's his, he's said he's disappointed and it sounds like he's moved on. Let him. I would take no further action other than to listen when he wants to talk. I grew up in a small town where I felt suffocated and if I go back now, I have only a handful of friends and most of them I made past HS. I have no desire to go to reunions or anything. I go back to visit my family. That's enough. Why should I work to cling to people I am no longer like? Or that I didn't like all that well in the first place? Just because he is not reacting like you would or like a girl might doesn't mean he's wrong. Like him be.

If your real problem is that you're annoyed with your ex, that is your problem, not your son's. And you need to deal with that without making a bigger deal of this to your son, since I think his reaction to go home and unfriend people who are not his friends is 1. normal and 2. somewhat mature. Who needs those people?

ETA: if you continue to make new profiles and post similar things as others here have suggested, maybe the problem isn't your son at all...

If he needs a father like figure that will be a positive role model you might make an appointment to see the Bishop and visit with him about how the leaders could really be a wonderful influence to your son.

Young Men's president could take your son under his wing and spend some quality time with him too. I know many of his friends are gone right now on missions but he really will have opportunities to make more good long life time friends throughout the stake at the combined activities, stake dances, etc...

They could invite him to do service projects with them, they could invite him to go to investigators homes with the missionaries, they might call him into a leadership position in the Young Men's class, and more.

They can flood him with opportunities to get out of the house and to share the gospel with others, to get him where he can feel more useful and needed.

There are many things they can do to help him along.

I wouldn't take any action. Your son met some kids who repeatedly didn't act right and he cut ties with them. That's healthy and good. Your reaction was presumably different than your exs, so no need to do anything different there either.

Are you just wringing your hands over the fact that your son has had some trouble with a social group? Because he sounds normal.

This is how I understand it.

Your son is not drinking alcohol and socializing with peers by doing fun safe activities. He goes to his dad's town and many of the peer are doing things that are either unsafe (drinking) or a time waste.

Focus on all the good in his life. It is easy to think about the negative (old peers making fun of him or his dad's rude words). Try to let it roll off your back. You are doing a great job raising a caring young man.

I guess I don't understand what you're looking for here.
It's always hard to see our kids go through adversity and/or tough times.
Your son has made changes to his life. Opposite in action from his "old friends." What, really, did he expect as far as their acceptance?
Hopefully your son is firm and strong in HIS convictions to understand their reactions.
Life sends is all types of people: friends, acquaintances, peers, colleagues, and...sandpaper people.
The key is, I think, in understanding just how these people all got I to your life.

Well my husband is a good father but he tends to think I overreact to this kind of stuff, and I'm sure he would say you are reading too much into this as well. I just think we have different ways of seeing things and I think that's okay.
As my husband, of course it would irk me if he somehow tried to blame ME for our child's behavior, or perceived shortcomings, and I would probably tell him as much. We would discuss it.
But since this is your ex what do you expect? I assume him being a jerk was one of the reasons you split so ignore his comment and move on.
What other "action" is there?

It sounds to me like your son knows who he wants to be and connects with a quieter crowd. I see no problem with him limiting his friendships to the people who treat him well. His father is wanting him to fit in with his old friends, but your son has moved on. It doesn't found like his dad really knows how to deal with it and your son can accept that, but do what make him happiest. Kids can be jerks at that age. Good for your son for standing up for himself and limiting his time with that crowd. As his mom, just listen to him. No need to talk to dad about it unless he asks for your perspective.

I'd feet terrible for my son. Its hard to deal with a bad situation even with support so being emotionally unsupported by a callus parent must make it 500 times worse.

Have you talked through this with your son? Gotten him to voice his disappointment and concerns? If he won't talk to you will he talk to an aunt or other relative? Therapist?

He really doesn't need a large group of friends. If he can find a couple good people who will stand with him through everything he'll be fine. Just be there and listen to his concerns and continue to be a mom who wants the best for her children. Really in the end that's all any of us can do.

I would take no action, your son is not a baby and he has to learn to navigate his own way through this world.

As for being an introvert, there is nothing wrong with that. My freshmen and sophomore years I partied really hard, but I always felt out of place and vulnerable and like I just wanted to be invisible. When I moved my JR year I was able to focus on my full time job and the close friends I made there and just go to school to learn, and I was actually so much happier. Just because someone does not choose to do the normal "high school" thing of parities and football games does not mean they are not having good teen years, for some of us "good" just looks a little different. Just support him and let him be who he is and handle his own friendships. When he wants to talk about it with you just listen, don't try to fix things. If he wants advice he will ask for it, but sometimes we just want someone to listen and not try to fix things.

I would feel for my son, but just be happy that he has found friends in his church. Really, this is not that big of deal. Your son has some friends - he may not have a "following" but being an introvert, he wouldn't like that anyway.

I really don't see an issue with your son. What I see is you have an issue with your son and his friendships, or lack thereof. Yes, dad could have said something like "sorry it didn't go better" but really, what difference does it make now. Dad can't suck the words back in and this is old hat. You posted about this weeks ago.

Let it go and move on.

I would feel bad for my son if my husband said that to him. What was he bullied for?