My children go to public school in Broward County. I received the forms to give permission for them to take part in the human sexuality unit at school (county wide curriculum) for both K and 4. We have always given permission but when I looked at the 4th grade - it was a bit much and not very age appropriate. Do any homeschooling parents do a curriculum that covers this and where would I look to find one? Thanks for any suggestions.
To answer the questions about what I am uncomfortable with - there are two areas. First, I don't think in 4th grade it is appropriate to teach how to get sexual pleasure. There is a whole section on "I deserve good touch" - that teaches that depending upon your sexual preference - which is fluid and may change throughout your life - you can find different ways to get that good touch. This curriculum covers self pleasure, hetero and homosexual pleasure. The second area I don't like is that it does a whole lesson on sex roles and preferences as good to explore. Again, my son has not reached puberty, I don't think he needs to explore sexual preferences at this time. I guess the majority of what I don't like is how instead of being biology and based on facts this curriculum has a lot that sounds more like teaching of values and morals and they are not ones that we subscribe to. I think we need to teach respect - and while we can't discriminate or be disrespectful - we don't have to accept all forms of sexual behavior as good or normal. I spoke to the teacher and in a class of 20 - only 4 students have turned in the permission forms at this time.
Unless they live in a vacuum, they are going to hear all about it from their friends.
The idea is to give them the info BEFORE they are sexually active.
And - sad to say it - but some 12 yr olds are out there having sex.
Trying to tell them anything after the hormones have kicked in is difficult at best.
Can you let us know what your specific concerns are? Just looking online, it appears that Broward County dramatically improved their sex ed programs in 2014, moving away from proven ineffective abstinence only programs towards evidence supported programs.
Before I can give you a good answer, I guess I would need to know what "too much" is in your book. Perhaps the things that I would think are age appropriate you would not. But, at 4th grade your child is 10 (your daughter MAY start her period around now...like my niece) and I think just about any discussion is appropriate. So what did you not like about what was brought home?
For a fourth grader, take a look at a book called It's Not the Stork. Depending on your child's maturity level/level of physical development, the 10+ book from the same author, It's Perfectly Normal may be the better choice. It depends on where your kid is developmentally. Your public library probably has both books. Also, for a girl, the American Girl The Care and Keeping of You is an excellent book about changing bodies.
Sorry - I don't know the answer to your question - but I wanted to say, I felt as you do when my first covered sex ed in school. I was shocked - far different than when I went to school. I had signed a waiver but it didn't cover half of what was discussed.
What shocked me the most was even though I'd talked with my kids all along and was here to answer questions ... the knew most of it, or versions of it. They'd heard it all at the park, bus, or from pals with older siblings. So in a way, after this came out, I was happy that someone had given them all the actual facts. And then I went over everything (they sent the info home) with them.
So - that's all I thought I could add. That your older child may already at least have heard versions of what they will discuss. Before switching to doing it yourself - keep in mind they will all be discussing it on the playground at school. I am finding the same thing again now that they are learning stuff again at junior high. We could sign a waiver to let them watch a movie (that I thought sounded inappropriate) but my son just went "Really?". They seem to know a lot more than we think.
You've got me curious. What was age inappropriate in your district's video? For girls, ours covers periods (essential, with girls getting them even younger than 4th grade these days) and developing. For boys, it's a general stop being so gross and take a shower and brush your teeth, your body is changing video. And what is your district covering in kindergarten? Ours didn't do anything there.
I am also curious what the school's curriculum covers and what you felt was "a bit much and not very age appropriate". Would you please share in your SWH?
Is there a homeschooling group in your area? You'll still have to search because there are a lot of reasons why people homeschool. Some groups wouldn't want the kids to have any info other than "God makes a baby for one man and one woman" and others homeschool so they can present a lot of info in just a different way. You can also check with the librarian in any major library or library network in your area.
I agree with the post about the abstinence only curricula being a massive problem. Usually the towns/states that push this have much higher rates of STDs and teen pregnancy. It's just not realistic, and it's totally devoid of the info that kids really need to make better decisions.
I think the points below about your kids getting the info from other kids on the playground are very valid. One advantage to them all being in the same class/program is that they get the same info. The worst thing for kids is to think their parents don't know anything, and to hear it all from friends. My mother gave me great info on menstruation, for example, before the 4th grade school program (which was just for girls - the boys got recess!). But she gave me NOTHING on sex and I was very clueless well into high school other than what I heard from friends or from suggestive pictures my brother and an older friend left on my pillow. I would have benefited greatly from a curriculum.
Maybe it would make the most sense for you to do something intermediate for your 4th grader first, to get him/her "up" to the level of the curriculum, then put him/her in the class program. Don't be afraid of it. Your children will thank you for it.
Most school curriculum on this topic is carefully planned to be age appropriate.
What do you find so bad? Do you have personal issues with talking/communicating about heakth and sex with your children. It's not taboo or dirty... It's life.
You do realize at age 10, puberty will take place soon if not already. Children need to know facts NOT what is rumored on the play grounds since first grade.
Get a book you feel comfortable with and please communicate with you children so they get facts. If you can't talk face to face openly, go for a drive, walk, etc.
Depending on knowing exact context you are upset about, I lean to think that you need to be more open minded to the facts of life with your children. Children don't need to live in a bubble... Those are the first to get pregnant and go wild.
Good luck
I found a really great book online called "Its perfectly normal", it covered puberty as well as different kinds of sex and sexual and gender orientations. Some of the information on types of sex was a little "older" then they needed just yet, but better a little soon rather then too late.
I bet my 3rd grader knows as much as they will teach in that 4th grade curriculum. You would not believe what is discussed at recess!
I don't know your beliefs and I don't know what you received from the school as a teaching outline. But here it goes.
Today's world is not the world we were raised in. Children today mature earlier physically than in the past. Children experiment with all kinds of things earlier including sex. I would want my child especially the 10 year old to be armed with the correct knowledge to keep him/her safe.
My children grew up in Europe and attended DODDs (Department of Defense Dependent School) schools. There were several age appropriate classes on the subject. My daughter (age 12) informed me that they were shown actual pictures of STDs and in another the birth of a child yes a birth. She said that the two visions made a memorable impression which has lasted her whole life (now 39).
What I am trying to say is that children cannot live in bubbles or glass houses no matter how much a parent wants. They have to be part of the human race on this planet at the present time. If they don't get the proper information they make uninformed decisions they will regret the rest of their lives.
Do you best to figure out what it is that you are not liking about the subject(s) and find a way to get over or around it and be open with your children.
the other S.
There is a program called Purely You that you can look into. It is used at our private (Catholic) school. It treats the topic of puberty, but does this through the lense of faith, addressing the spiritual and emotional piece of puberty. It is a Catholic program so there are Catholic pieces to it, but it would be good for any Christian I think...you could just leave out the more Catholic pieces. What I like about it is that it lays groundwork in all the areas of puberty but leaves the sex details out...so the PARENT can facilitate this discussion with their child at an age appropriate time, which is different for each child based on many factors. But since the groundwork is already layed in the program, the "sex talk" will hopefully be less out of the blue for them and a little less awkward. There are many parent resources including a parent guide and also a conversation guide which is a great tool especially for parents who struggle with finding the right words to say or how exactly to explain sex. The whole program is designed to give parents confidence in this area, and to open dialogue with the child. Good luck!
