Looking for a Good Sex Ed Tool! Help!

I like this website. It's factual based and doesn't sugar coat the facts :) it's not scary though.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/

My 12 yr old has gone here a couple times with me asking about things. When I can't find the words to desribe what's going on - we log on to her computer and go here

don't forget to go over things like oral sex, gay/bi sexual. I am thinking back to when I was in 7th/8th grade and unfortunately, in the late 80's even, kids were becoming sexually active and I knew of more than a handful of girls who were giving blowjobs and handjobs before they finished 7th grade. I hope that wasn't too frank... I don't mean to offend with my terminology

Good luck!

Check out Family.org. They have many articles about helping your child understand his/her sexuality; however, the main resource "Preparing Your Child for Adolesence" is a great tool. They encourage a weekend away one-on-one with your child and sharing the information together. This has a very Christian moral perspective.

Hi K.,

I suggest that you take a look in the mirror and you will see the best sex ed tool of them all!

Your child will learn best from you!

Sex isn't a mystery. Everyone does it. You don't have to be especially intelligent or athletic or skilled.

Sex gets to be squirrelly when you think about it and the social context in which it occurs. That's the significant part.

You want your daughter to have wonderful sex, but you don't want her to get hurt, mostly emotionally, and to a second degree, physically.

It's not so much the horror of chlamydia, rather it's the real awfulness of a lousy relationship, of sex for sex's sake rather than meaningful sex within a solid friendship and loveship.

Get the book (from your library) How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk.

Read it, and USE IT.

All good conversations begin with putting your feelings aside for a moment and validating the concerns and feelings of the "other" person. When you are doing this, the "other" is much more amenable to listening to you.

You can't control your daughter, but you can influence her.
If you are an accepting, pleasant to be around, encouraging, reasonable person, the chances are high that your kids will listen to you.

If you're seen as demanding, autocratic, punitive, and irrational, your chances of being heard are pretty low.

And, if you are living a life that is contrary to how you want your kids to live, they'll see through that as well.

R. Katz, Psy.D.

go to ask.com and type in the birds and the bees for my teen. you will be plesantly suprised.

Hi K.-
I do have a great book for you! It is called What's Happening to Me? There is both a girl version (what you're looking for) and one for boys.

It is a good complement to the Care and Keeping of You. My daughter will be 12 in Oct and I've used both books with her.

The What's Happening to Me? covers body changes (both inside and outside the body), information on hormonal changes and feelings, and even covers briefly healthy eating and exercise as well as the importance of good hygiene. There is a brief intro to what takes place in boys bodies during puberty as well and even 2 pages on brief intros (good for conversation starters) on avoiding drugs/alcohol, positive body image, dealing with bullying, and the right to say no (one paragraph on each)

It is written specifically for kids this age. The illustrations are not scary (although some are detailed). No photographs.... It is an Usborne Book and can be ordered at www.GetUsborneBooksNow.com or by contacting me you can avoid shipping costs. It is recommended for ages 8 and up (although I think 10 and up is more appropriate)

You can take a look at this book here: http://tinyurl.com/4z37c8

Good luck!
K.

"and the bride wore white" is a good book as she gets older. It's not a facts of life starter book. It helps them develop a plan for purity. I really liked it in my early twenties, but would work for high school, ect.

I highly recommend "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris, illustrated by Michael Emberley. This book is intended for girls and boys ages 10 and up. The publishing company, Candlewick Press, also has books by the same author/illustrator for younger children, "It's So Amazing" for ages 7 and up, and "It's Not the Stork" for ages 4 and up.

These books are age-appropriate. They have a great balance of factual but easy to read text and detailed but appealing illustrations, thus making them NOT feel like science books. Also, the illustrations show a variety of people, in all shapes and sizes, of various ages, and of various ethnic backgrounds. A cartoon bird and bee help narrate the books.

Although my 11 year old son didn't want me around when he was reading his book, I know he read it. Also, I read the "stork" book several times with my kindergartner because she liked it so much.

"Why Wait" series by Josh McDowell....Biblically based - there's a tape series to go with it. Excellent!!!

If you want to read a good book that's right on target with adolescents...it's by Anthony Wolf: ""Get out of my Life, but can you Take me to the Mall First?"

My kids all attended public school which took them to the Robert Crown health center.

I would highly recommend Family Life's "Passport to Purity". Passport to Purity has a distinctly Christian moral baseline, promoting abstinence and they recommend a weekend retreat, just the two of you (mom with daughter and dad with son) to share the information but to also have special time doing things the child enjoys, perhaps a spa with your daughter or shopping, in between the sessions. My husband did this with our son and it was a great time for them. Here's a link to the website to check it out:
http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3955827/k....

A.C. Green (formerly with the LA Lakers) also has a great sex ed program, that was used in our middle school health class. Again, explaining everything, with the emhpasis on abstinence.

"What's Happening to Me" is good, but I don't think you've read "The Care and Keeping of You" carefully, because it does talk about feelings and hormone surges. My girls have all read it in turn (I have five, and the fourth is now 12 and re-reading it) and pretty much memorized it. They find it not only informative but very comforting.

Don't discount what they learn in school. Many schools now have excellent sex education programs - my girls go to Chicago Public Schools and have been given lots of information with no punches pulled and no nonsense. I am impressed with what they've been exposed to there. One of my daughters was also in a Chicago Park District program for young teens which had a sex education segment, with boys and girls separated and frank discussion of STDs and pregnancy. If anything, it was too much information, and they were a little embarrassed and freaked out, but no kid who came out of the program can say they didn't know!!

Don't force it on them though - that would be embarrassing. In general, any time you talk about sex with kids, answer their questions truthfully and matter-of-factly but tell them slightly less than you think they want to know. They'll ask again when they want more. Otherwise it becomes threatening and they might avoid the subject. And always tell the truth. The problem I have, even as a Christian, with abstinence education is that it seems to teach that terrible things will happen if you DON'T wait until you are married. I cannot tell them that in honesty and don't recommend it. You have to give them the tools to make decisions on their own when they're older, not just say "Don't ever do it until you're married." They know that's not the way most people live.

What you will find, and you may remember from your own childhood, is that the actual idea of sex is "yucky" to kids. They need to know about it anyway but it is not until much later that they may find themselves actually thinking about doing it. So don't be surprised if "ick" is the reaction you get!! Don't know about you, but I was much older, 16 or so, before it stopped sounding totally gross.

My daughters are still babies, so I do not have much insight into talking to preteens about sex, but as a mother of girls, you should read the book Reviving Ophelia. It deals with many issues facing young girls today, and since it is all case story based, it is an easy read. It may be helpful to share some of the stories with your preteen, in an effort to warn her of the dangers out there and not scare her either. It would also probably give you some insight into the adolescent years!

You might want to go to a Christian book store or go online to christianbook.com to check out books regarding sex education for young women.

Pick up Dr. Chirbin's "What's Love got to do with It?" That should help...

There's a website that I love regarding sex ed: Caitlin's Corner. Great information given in a terrific manner!

www.caitlainscorner.com