Husband Caring for Baby on Night Shift

Usually when both parents work, a nanny or daycare is involved.

But neither of you will get a lot of sleep for quite a few years. Enjoy!

Are you saying he will be taking care of the baby all day while you're at work, and then he will go to work all night? That's impossible, when will he sleep? You need a nanny or daycare situation, I would start looking into that NOW.

Who does get the full amount of rest with a newborn in the house?

ETA: I just reread your question, and I'm going to have to agree that both of you working 40 hours a week means you will need childcare. It doesn't matter if you work opposite shifts, there's just no way to humanly accomplish working all night and caring for baby all day.

You might consider a part-time baby nanny to come, care for baby for a few hours each day, so your husband can sleep. It's great that your MIL can help, but you will need more regular, dependable help than it is right to rely on family for. (Different if she offers, but don't wear her out!)

That's what I would do in that situation.

sounds to me as if you've got a great set-up. you've got a flexible schedule, he's got several days completely free, and you've got your MIL for the times when you can't make it work.
nobody gets enough sleep when there's a newborn. you figure it out.
congrats, and enjoy!
khairete
S.

No one will be getting the amount of rest they need for a while after baby comes, that is totally normal, and while it is stressful, you will all get through it. If you have support or help, use it, but if not don't worry, you will figure it all out :)

Nanny or Daycare is needed. Your husband needs to get his rest to be able to work. It does not appear liek you would need it full time which would help cut down on expenses.

Um...he's just going to have to deal with it. I appreciate you trying to help him get rested, but with a newborn...no one is rested.

I think you guys need some extra help. At least till the baby is on some sort of schedule. Night shifts are VERY hard.

I can't picture this. It's not going to be good for baby, or dad!

Did I read right that it's daytime care you need? Then you can use a daycare. With both of you working you should be able to afford it. Not saying it's great to have that expense, but for the sake of your child (and husband!) I would do it. I'd find it NOW!

My husband worked random shifts at times over our marriage, and he had to do what he had to do to take care of the kids on his watch, same as me. I worked full-time after our third, but stayed at home with the first two, we juts figured it out.

We did have a "nanny" in the form of my sister who watched the kids in our home full-time while we both worked, but no one got extra sleep and no one was awake at night with baby while my husband and I slept.

What are your hours? By the time I went back to work (12 weeks), our baby was on a good schedule and only waking a few couple of times a night. (15 weeks now and generally only 1 time per night.) We started out on the baby whisperer's EASY schedule.

Now, if you're expecting him to come home from working a 12 hour shift and deal with the baby during the day while you're at work, that's pretty unreasonable. Getting broken up sleep a couple of times a night is one thing, getting no sleep because you're dealing with the baby's awake time is something totally different. You will probably need to look into at least part time child care. See if there are any day care centers that will allow you to do three days a week, even if you aren't sure from week to week which of those 3 days it will be.

I agree with nervy girl. A nanny might be useful.

Granted, no one sleeps well with a newborn, but I would look into PT childcare, perhaps one that is flexible enough (an in-home provider? a nanny?) who can accommodate his shifting schedule. I would start looking for that help now. My nephew was born at 33 weeks (not to scare you) and they had to work some odd shifts (PT at home) to cover til he was healthy enough for daycare. Do you have any flexible schedule options? Like working from home one day a week? It would really depend on your work though. I can only do my work with DD home because it's all online, no phone calls. For the short term, you may also see if he has any paternity or FMLA leave so that the first weeks aren't so hectic with trying to get used to fatherhood and a newborn AND working.

I have to say I am surprised by the number of people who are saying that newborns don't let anyone sleep anyway, and he can just figure it out! That is crazy. Nobody can work all night and then come home and stay awake all day and take care of a baby, even if the baby is sleeping a lot. What happens when the baby is 9 months old and is just taking 2 naps a day? Is your husband going to work 12 hours and then survive the other 12 by sleeping from 9-10 am and then 2-4:15 pm on a good day? :) Nevermind when the baby is 2 1/2 and decides to boycott sleeping altogether! I'm not trying to make light of your situation, I know daycare is expensive, but much in the same way that you wouldn't go to work 5 days a week 8-9 hours a day and then come home and stay awake all night, all week, he shouldn't do that either. It's almost like asking him to be a stay at home dad, but also have a full time job outside the house instead of sleeping. It sounds tempting because of your opposite schedules but on the 3 days he works, if they are during your work hours, you need daycare. I think, though, it will be hard to find a place that could change days from week to week, or even a nanny that would do that. If your MIL is willing to help and either you guys or her are willing to make the drive it might be ok. I drive about 35-40 minutes to my parents' house so I can work there (online), because they are great with my son, and it's free, and I wouldn't do it any other way, the drive doesn't bother me in the least. Then maybe on the days he is not scheduled to work, he can watch the baby. Good luck with everything!

When I worked nights I still needed at least 6 hours of sleep from about 9 or 10 am on. Who would watch baby until 4 ? There is nothing worse than a tired night shift nurse who has not slept. They are lousy nurses and awful co- workers. You are going to need to get him some help during the day. Mothers helper, student. He will be home so just someone to feed and hold the baby. Best wishes for you and new baby.

It's really the same problem you would have if you both worked the same shift - neither of you is available during the day to provide child care, so you hire someone. On the nights he works, you're going to be just as exhausted as he would have been, because you will be awakened during sleep by an infant who is hungry or fussy. So you will also be sleep-deprived and then trying to work. You'll have to figure out some schedule where you can both get some decent sleep. It is a long drive for your MIL and caring for an infant is stressful and exhausting. So you can wait to see how the baby does, how soon he or she sleeps through the night, and what his/her personality is. If your husband can get a decent schedule more set in stone, that will help. Otherwise you will have to cope like the rest of us do and just pay for some help.

Can he drive the baby there & get some zzzzs? Maybe in the morning after he showed? He could sleep from 9-3? Or 10-4?
If not , I agree you're going to need someone at least a few hours per day.
(We did opposite shift for awhile, but neither of us was working a 12 hour shift.)