Husband Going Away :(

I was watching my nephew when his mom was away and what really helped him was watching videos of him with his mom. We had gone on vacation with them and had videos of his family together at disney and we watched those over and over. I would take them to a park and just video tape them playing together. Pictures in a book she can flip through might also help.

i am sorry to hear that you have to go through this. My husband is days away from retunring from a fifteen month deployment. I will say that it wsa one of the longets years+ of my life. i spent the first half pregnnat and now i am meeting my husband at his homecomign with a five month old. there a lot of things you can do, fist of all i would try to find a group of wives with children who are going through the same thing. no one can truly understand what it is like except someone who is going through it. second i would talk openly to your daughter about what is going to happen, allow her to tell you how she is feeling, maybe set aside a part of the day each day to talk openly about it. there is a video made by the military and walmart from seaseme street about daddy going away. i believe i ordered it from military source one and was free for military families. we showed it to my 2 1/2 year old niece because my husband and she shared a very close relationship. you need to be okay to, this will be tough for you more then her, she will "move on" quicker then you will, and probably will not "mourn" his absence quite as much as you. make sure that you are surrounded by a good support system if you dont have one meet one. the time seems forever now, but from experince it goes by much faster then you think it will. the days were slow sometimes, but i cant believe that we are already here. it is very important to keep the communication lines open as much as possible, between the three of you, some people did things like making praise jars and let there children put one thing they did good each day in the jar( a note about it) and then when daddy called they would read the notes, little ones have a hard time talking on the phone, so this will give her a purpose. the tranisitons will not stop when he returns, this time is also a important one to keep communicating, your daufghter will have changed and so will you both. the dynamics at home will, although not to drastically in this time frame but it is important to ease back into reintergration. i have rambled a ton, but well i think the most important is to take it one day at a time and if you need any support you can always find me here!

Since your daughter is so young, maybe she can start coloring pictures and help you hide them in Daddy's things he will be taking with him. that way she will be part of creating happy surprised for her dad.

take lots of pictures of them together and frame some for her room. Have him make videos or tapes of him reading her favorite stories to play while he is away, or clips of different things like a morning tape, telling her to have a good day and one for bedtime. And maybe she can make some video clips you can send to him online while he is away too.

maybe you can find some other military wives for support... thank you both for serving our country, him for going and you for all you sacrifice by letting him serve. God bless you!

K.,

I'm sorry for you both, this is going to be hard.

Your daughter is going to be upset and miss her Daddy. There's very little you cando to prevent that, she loves him. My best advice wouldbe to work hard during his absence to help her feel connected to him even though he's not right there.

Put together a string of construction paper cutouts, hearts or flags or something, one for each day he's gone. Every night, let her rip one item off, for one less day till he comes home. as the string gets shorter, she'll get excited about him coming home.

Talk about him all the time. Have a picture in her room where she can talk to Daddy. Before bed, both of you sit down and tell him all about your day, and what you're going to do tomorrow. Help her tell him she loves him and misses him, and can't wait till he gets home.

Let her color pictures for him and put them in letters to him. She will love to do this while you are writing to him, and let him know when you get letters from him. Tell her how much he misses her, and how he loves her pictures and can't wait to come home to her.

At Christmas, and if her birthday falls during his absence, have a special present for her that Daddy left. Make sure he plays a part in all of the special things that go on in his absence.

For yourself, look for a support network of other Reserves wives. They can help you through this time, both for yourself, and for your daughter. Those ladies are rocks, and they've all been where you are. Military wives are some of the strongest women in the world, and every last one has my respect and admiration.

Good luck , K.!

The paper chain and audio recordings of favorite stories are great ideas. Maybe you could also invest in a web cam for you to communicate with him while he is away.

I can not even begin to understand what you are about to go through, but what I would do if I was in that situation...I would have my husband record his voice reading her favorite books, I would take as many pictures as I could of him and of them together to plaster the walls with, and grab a few of his favorite t-shirts and have them ready for when she meeds a hug and have his cologne on them. I would also video tape him and have the computer ready and set up so if there is a way when he calls if he could do it over the computer so she can see him. And when she is really missing him I would have crafts ready for her to make him a picture and make him a scrap book of the crafts and pictures of the times that he missed. I am really not sure if there is a way to get her ready for his departure, but here are some things to help during the time he is gone. Good luck!