Y.S.
First of all: parenting is NOT about GETTING love from a child; it is the complete opposite. Until and unless people all over the world begin to understand that babies and our children are not here to love us but to receive unconditional love FROM us, this world will continue to suffer. If your husband is angry NOW, that a toddler has the ability to sense your husband's neediness and push that away, what do you think will happen when Ty is 5 or six or 11 or 13 and actually saying things like "Dad, I hate having you around all the time" or "Just go away and let me alone." Sounds like a real mess coming up.
I heartily suggest your husband and you, spend time seeking out counseling for some of your own repressed childhood issues. Our children are our best teachers, if we allow that. They gift us with the mirror or projection so we can see where we need to heal. Ty is already your teacher. Allow him to provide you and your husband with this healing time. It is not Ty's job to show you or your husband affection on demand. It is your job to protect, nurture, and love him so he will grow up and be able to do the same.
Bless you for reaching out with this very important issue that too many parents never ask or address before they have children.
I'm a mother of four, grandmother of five and worked in domestic violence advocacy for over 20 years. I have seen the results of situations like this and hope this strong email will really help you both to stay on track about your role and responsibility as parents.
I also suggest a poem from Kahlil Gibran in his book, THE PROPHET. Read the chapter called "Children." It is themost poetic outpouring of the true nature of parenting I have ever come across.
Blessings,
Y.