"I Love You" to a Client?

M., that sounds like trouble. You said he answered the phone by accident. He was caught. I would investigate.

Yeah, you aren't overreacting. I think there's more to this than what he's telling you.
Be suspicious.

No, it's not common in business relationships. Does he say this to all his clients, including the male ones? Sounds like total BS to me.

Unless the "client" was his sister, mother, cousin, daughter, your husband is busted. Sorry.

:(

Dear M.'s husband,
I think you have the wrong idea about love. Your wife has said that you don't often tell her that you love her and that you are not very affectionate with her. Why is it okay to casually extend words of love to clients and friends while neglecting to say it to your own wife? If you want to show appreciation to a friend, say "I appreciate you", or "thank you for ______".

Words are meaningful. Don't throw a precious word like love away on someone you merely appreciate. Lavish it on your wife because SHE deserves it more than your client. Wife=queen. Client= very nice peasant by comparison.

I hope that even if you don't agree, that you can make an effort to put your wife's feelings over your desire to say whatever pleases you.

I am really not trying to be rude here, but the fact that you even have to ask whether it is common in business relationships to speak this way to a client shows me you may be a bit naive when it comes to relationships generally. The only time it would be even close to acceptable to talk that way to a "client" is if you're a priest and you have a dying man laying on his bed.....

I am curious what type of work your husband does that a) you would even ask whether it is common and b) he meets his clients at starbucks. Does he not have an office?

I am sorry, but if I were you, I wouldn't accept your husband's explanation. I would demand to meet this client or at the very least, continue to question your husband about this. I am so sorry.

ETA: After your update, just an fyi, he is saying this "I love you" talk occurs between him and other women in the hopes you take your focus off of this woman. Don't. He knows your reaction will be, OH MY GOD! when he tells you he says it to a lot of women - he is doing that to try to minimize the effect (well, I say it to all women so it cannot be that bad, she isn't so special) and to "prove" to you he doesn't really love this other woman. Chances are, he does.

After SWH:

To your H: Not Ever in a million years is it ever appropriate to end your conversation with a client with a casual, I Love You, did you find your keys?
That in no way implies, I admire you, did you find your keys?

That's a crock of bull and I'm not buying and you wife shouldn't either. You ought to get down on your knees and TELL THE TRUTH, and beg forgiveness. Before you can't find YOUR keys, to the house or the heart of the woman you have been withholding your love from.

Admit it, if she were lavished in your love and admiration, she might not have given this too much thought. But you played the flirt with other women and played the scrooge with the one you promised to love and honor..FAITHFULLY.

It ought to be your plan to take her to every client you have so casually said that to and introduce her as the love of your life. You sit there and squirm while they look at you with wounded, guilty eyes and treat her less than civil. You see, GOOD women, don't say that to even close male friends, much less clients. So either you have been doing far more than that for these women, or they are hoping for far more than you've been doing and you need like heck to change that impression. If its the former, you are without excuse. Plain and simple. Get your wife tested for STDs and get counseling. Do whatever she wants, that's mostly be a MAN.

And don't ever give me that artsy excuse. You know free wheeling, casual, thing that makes it easy to cheat. It's just a lazy excuse.

That's my 2cents, today.

Original:

Really H. I want to meet this woman you say, I love you, to. Now.

Never, ever would this be appropriate to a woman who is not a wife or relative.

Is his email an open book to you? Phone? Although he has had time to filter it.

I want to met her, ASAP. If he balks, as if it's inappropriate for you to meet her, you say, it's as appropriate as telling her, I love you. You need to know every woman he loves. It's in the contract he signed! Remember the marriage liscence?

Um, no that's total BS. One does not say "I love you" to a client. What kind of work does he do?

If ever said at work, it's in the context of something else and reflects the gushy personality of the person saying it. For example, if I'm totally thrilled with the outcome of something that someone went above and beyond to get done, I might say "wow I so totally love you right now, thank you!" I've had a couple of very "in touch with their feelings" male bosses who would throw out things like "you know I love you and think you're great and really appreciate your work, right?" (usually when telling me I'm taking on more work) or "we all love you here but..." (when bringing up something that needs to be worked on). But to say it as a closing to someone? And a client? I don't think so.

Sorry but I think you've got some talking or digging to do...

i wouldn't care for it one little bit.
that's not friendly. it's intimate. my husband says it to me, his mom, and his sister. you don't say it to business associates. i can see it if she were a friend, i guess, but only if you knew her too and he was saying it casually and openly in your presence.
personality does come into play. i say 'i love you' to friends, while my husband does not. but the red line for me is whether or not i'd say it if my husband were standing there. and, of course, if it's true.
i don't think i'd jump to 'cheating' if nothing else is alerting you, but i think a conversation about professional and personal boundaries is certainly in order.
khairete
S.

That would really weird me out. I can't imagine a profession where it's appropriate to say "I love you" to a business contact or client. He's either having an affair (even if it's just an 'affair of the heart' and they're not physically involved) or he needs a remedial course on how to interact in a business situation.

Sorry... but this is just weird! And I don't think you're overreacting.

Edited to add: just read your update. This still makes no sense to me. At all. I've worked with graphic designers and people in that type of industry and they don't cultivate a LOVE relationship with clients. They are professional.

I'm sorry but you're in major denial. I just showed this to my husband and he doesn't believe you are even real, he said, "nobody could be that stupid." MY response was "sure they could, fear makes people stupid."
He got busted, he's making a ridiculous excuse and you are buying it because NOT buying it terrifies you.
People don't say "love you" to their clients or coworkers, unless they are in love, or related, or are very, very close. Don't be a fool.

There is a slim chance he's telling the truth, but I don't think you are over-reacting. I think he's cheating on you. I'm sorry.

ETA: After reading your added info - I still think your husband is cheating on you. "You're asking the question wrong"? REALLY?Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, but no, you are asking the question just fine.

This sounds to me like he's gotten you so accustomed to games that you don't realize you are caught up in one. Honestly, that upsets me more than your original question; it feels really really OFF to me that he'd say that and you'd think "Okay, maybe I'm asking the question wrong."

I have a few of male friends (not relatives) with whom I exchange "I love yous". They are very, very old friends. I'd say there are six of these men in my life, 2 are friends from childhood (who are gay), two are like brothers, the other two are simply very, very old friends, one of them is much like a girlfriend (and I think he's gay and in denial), the other is an old friend with whom I have been through a lot of scary stuff - and though we don't live near each other, we HAVE met one another's spouses and kids because our friendship matters and our spouses matter.

In other words, I have a LOT of men who are not technically family to whom I say "I love you" in a non-sexual way, and I still think your husband's behavior is suspicious.

Aww, sweetie, you're husband is pulling the wool over your eyes but good. When you finally pull that wool off and see him for the liar he is, it's going to be very painful. The man is having an affair.

NO ONE tells their client "I love you". And I don't believe that other "girls" tell him that, unless he's sleeping with them too.

Please get your ducks in a row. You have a lot ahead of you.

ETA: Just read your "update" - sorry....why haven't you met her family? If it's sooo innocent, why is he keeping her 'away' from you? IF he has met her husband? Why not have them over for dinner? And NO...I don't say I love you to someone to say I admire you...that's NOT what you say.

Yes, I have said I love you to a member of the opposite sex that I work with. My husband knows him and his family...his wife knows ME and MY family...HUGE difference...and if it wasn't such a secret? Why hasn't he told you about this client and how much he likes her, etc?

M.:

No. It's NOT common. No it's NOT professional. Could it happen? Yes.

As a recruiter and staffing manager, I work with vendors, clients, candidates, etc....and I will admit there is one client/vendor that I ABSOLUTELY love...and tell him that...and he tells me..HOWEVER...we've known each other for 4 years, he's met my husband and kids and I've met his wife and daughter and we don't say it EVERY TIME we talk....and I don't love him like I love my husband. I love him more like a brother there is NO sexual interest there....When my mom died last month he, his wife and daughter sent me a beautiful peace plant....his wife even sent me a message telling me how sorry she was for my loss. This is a VERY RARE thing...

If I heard my husband say I love you to someone other than family (and I'll note that he doesn't say it to his sisters!!!) that he hasn't introduced me to? I think I'd have a heart attack - as that is SO NOT my husband. And I'd ask to meet the person - like today.

That he would tell you that "he would never think of cheating on you"? Oh My WORD!!! Sounds like my ex-husband who couldn't keep his junk in his pants. I would ask to meet her. As it's NOT normal.

Find out who she is. meet her. If you don't want to do that? Hire a private investigator and find out....however...keep in mind you are opening a can of worms...you MUST be prepared for what you find. You also have to realize that if this blows your trust in your husband...you MUST be prepared for the aftermath of these actions.

COMMUNICATE with him. Tell him how inappropriate you feel it is and you feel like something is up. If he has NOTHING to hide? He'll introduce you to her...TODAY...

Unless he is a gigiloo then no it is not appropriate and I think deep down you know this. If I heard my husband say this to another woman and he told me this line of BS, I would become my own private detective.

I am a professional woman, and if a client told me this I would be a little creeped out. I say I love you to family and very close friends. That is it! No I don't think you are overreacting.

This is so crazy to me that I checked your history just to be sure you weren't a troll. I am sorry but you are not thinking clearly if you buy what he's saying.

We have VERY close friends, two other couples we've know for over 20 years. We hug and kiss eachother in greeting and I have said "I love you" to them many times, not sure about my husband. The point is these are during intimate conversations, times when I feel particularly close to one of them when we're reminiscing or having a heartfelt chat.

Other than family I have NEVER said that to anyone else of the opposite sex. I mean if someone gives me a great present or something I might say "Oh Thanks, this is perfect, I LOVE You!!!!" but we all know that's not what you husband is talking about.

People I know don't just throw that phrase around and it is never said to a business client, that's just weird. If you don't even know this woman how could he "love" her? And his assertion that it's common and he says it to other "girls" as you say is ludacris.

I'd dig a little deeper if I were you.

M., he's feeding you the biggest load of BS and you can tell him we all said so. And to answer him in your update? YES it is wrong to say "I love you" to any client, especially of the opposite sex. They've become friends, hmmm? And he has a few women telling him that they casually "love him"? I'd bet money they are more than friends. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

sounds like the lines my ex (who cheated) used on M. then made M. feel guilty for even thinking it and then I would question my thoughts as opposed to hus behaviour like you're doing.

Sorry I have worked with many people and never said I love you.
I have told guy friends I love them but my husband has heard them say it to M. and M. reply...they are family friends not secret friends. if she is so close why does she not know his kids and wife?
sorry he got busted
i doubt he says it to anyone else except her...also the fact he doesnt say it much to you prooves a lot

J. my opinion. i didnt believe people when i asked for advice until i saw it with my own eyes

Your husband is feeding you a line of BS. Professional behavior in MOST fields does not include saying "I LOVE YOU".

"These Girls"? A man whose saying I love you to a bunch of women/girls is probably giving and receiving more the coffee at Starbucks and Graphic Design services.

Suggestion: "Really nice to see you again, my family truly appreciates your business" (i.e. I'm happily married and plan to stay that way)

Totally unprofessional. I can't imagine saying this to anyone I work with. And if one of the sales people (who I am their client) said it to me, I'd be weirded out.

Not quite the same thing, but my hubby has been known to be on the phone and end the conversation with "love you" and right after, he's all, "Oh, my god, I just said that to so and so!..." He says he loves me and other close people often, so it slips by habit. If he rarely said it and I heard him saying it someone face to face? I'd be upset, you betcha. I know my radar would be up and I'd be keeping my eyes and ears open to anything out of the norm. But don't read into every single thing he says and does. That's asking for trouble. But keep your eyes open, definitely.

That's totally unprofessional. Follow your instinct and as mymission said, I'd ask to meet her since he can profess that statement so easily to her and not to you, there seems to be a problem....

Some of my best friends when I worked were male. Never did they tell me they loved me.

To answer your husband's question... I do not think it is okay to say "love you" to a friend/colleague of the opposite sex. Not to mention, I think it is totally inappropriate and unprofessional for colleagues to speak that way to each other.

If they are that great of friends, why don't your families get together outside of work?

Two women may say this to one another. I say this with some of my friends. A married man to another woman? Uh uh.
Sometimes at friends' houses, a friend's hubby will say "that's why I love L." in response to something funny I said. That's about as "lovey" as it gets, and again this is not "I love you" and also is in front of their wife, and my husband, in a social setting.

I love you to a client???? Nuts.

Sorry to say but I think your husband is cheating on you. I am not unwilling to say I could be wrong but that is just unheard of by me.

Polite? Oh, HELL NO! Sorry, but "I love you" is reserved for people you actually LOVE not people you appreciate or admire. What ridiculous reasoning. I would be pissed to the point of him sleeping in the dog house! Honey, do *YOU* think he's cheating? Very few men would admit to cheating when confronted but his reasoning is that of a cheating man. :(

That wouldn't fly in my house. Sorry, but it's definitely not okay. I hope you didn't believe his story.

Updated

That wouldn't fly in my house. Sorry, but it's definitely not okay. I hope you didn't believe his story.

Sounds like a pack of lies to me.

I might have bought it if the excuse was that he was ending a telephone call and "accidentally" said it at the end. I have done that myself and hung up and stared at my phone thinking "WHAT did I just SAY?!"
It is almost a habitual thing when you hang up the phone with certain people. Family, and close friends. Even for my husband to do.

However, she was in person and YOu were the one on the phone? I do not know ANY men who end face to face conversations (with non-spouse) with "love ya". That is entirely a woman thing as far as I am aware. And most certainly not in a business environment.

Seems odd that he would be meeting this client at Starbucks, too. Is that where he would typically meet other clients? You didn't really say what his job is, so maybe. But I would wonder about that as well.

ETA: Hon, I've worked with graphic designers and clients for over 25 years. Know how many times I've heard "I love you" at work?
ZERO.

Completely outside of the actions of a husband & father.
Not cool.
He may not be cheating.
I'd definitely be discussing this.
Don't let yourself be patronized.
Good luck!

OK, so you heard it. Was it a kind of joking "I love you", like "I love your sense of humor"? If not I'd be digging a little deeper.

M

Does he say it to his male clients?

If I heard those words come out of my husband's mouth in the work environment, I would have been floored! It is just not him and totally unprofessional. I would have been upset, unless she was a sweet little old lady, mother figure.

Is it out of character for your husband, or is he the type of flirty guy that says that easily to women? Is he a schmoozer? Only you can answer these questions, What is your gut telling you? It sounds like he said it first, or you would have heard, "you, too" or "I love you, too".

I do not think you are overreacting, unless of course, it's the norm in whatever type of business he is in. I would dig deeper because parting at Starbucks, in my book, does not warrant an "I love you".

What line of work is your husband in??? Totally inappropriate. At best, I would say that he has horrible boundaries. This is not the kind of dialogue you should have with your clients.

I would not be happy with this kind of behavior with my husband. In fact, it would make me assume that our marriage was in jeopardy, no matter what assurances he tried to give me.

I'm so sorry M.! This isn't just you over reacting.

Do I think he's cheating on you? I have no idea and I'd like to tell you that he's not. But, I've never in all the years of working in a professional work place have ever told a co-worker or client that I love them. Yes, there were some I'd admired or was in complete awe of, but I never voiced that I had love for them.

My husband has been in the medical profession for 10 years and works mostly with women on a daily basis. He has built some pretty close relationships with some of these women, as is natural in life. He has one boss who he really admires and has followed her from one hospital to another, but I don't ever think he would consider saying "I love you" to her even though he thinks very highly of her and may even have a type love for her that a son has for a mother. It's just not something men casually throw out there to other women.

You have to ask yourself some really tough questions: How committed are you to your relationship to your husband? How hard are you willing to work to overcome obstacles that may arise? Do you trust your husband and if you do trust him, can you let go of this knowledge and not hold it over his head every time a problem arises?

My last thought on this is that I really like what Sunshine wrote and I think you ought to print it out along with some of these other (non accusatory) responses and show them to your husband.

God Bless you and your family. I will pray for you tonight.

I would freak out if my husband say I love you to ANY woman that is not family related. I only say I love you to my family and extremely close friends. It would feel weird that someone I work with or that I'm customer to tell me I love you.... Just not normal.

I have never heard of people in a business meeting saying "I love you" to one another. Now, if someone does something over and beyond for the other or helps them out of a bind, the person might say "I love you" but not really meaning they are in love, just that they are sooooo very happy to have had the help. It's not in the same tone as saying "I love you" to someone you're in love with; it would be more along the lines of being very grateful "OMG! I love you! Thank you so much!" But again, that's only on occasion. I think you need to talk to hubby again. That just doesn't sound right that several women tell him they love him and they end a business meeting like that.

The only guy I would ever say I love you to is a really close friend who I do love and who happens to be gay.

Super odd and inappropriate. It seems to me like you may have caught something you were not meant to hear. No one says I love you to a client.

I will say that once, I was on the phone with a coworker - we spoke several times a day and were both very busy - we would talk fast and hang up. Once, while hanging up, he said ok, bye, love you and hung up. Then he called back laughing and said that he talks to me more than his wife, who was his next call. Sorry about that. We had a good laugh and that was that. Innocent - unlike what your husband is probably doing. Which is inappropriate.

Ever consider confronting her? If it were me, I'd feel like I had nothing to lose.

Look at his phone bill or ask him if it is paid by the company. If there is nothing to hide there should be no problem.

I going to say that it depends on what type of business he's in. A lot of sale/service jobs depend on making connections to the clients. You almost need to friend them so that they'll keep using your product/service because they see you as friendly and helpful. His I love you could be like the love ya, mean it I do with my personal friends all the time.

Since you work in the corporate world your contacts need to be professional and held to a certain standard. I'm in that world too so the whole 'I love you' to a client is a little odd however I'll admit that I have had clients who I forged a more personal relationship with due to the amount of contact and work we did together. While it never went to a declaration of love I did know a lot of their personal life so there was this almost friends aspect to our contacts instead of just cut and dry business.

I don't say "I love you" to any of my platonic friends, male or female. I've never said it to a coworker or client, even accidentally.

The bottom line is that it bothers you, so he should stop. The more he protests, the more suspicious he appears.

This doesn't seem appropriate, however, I haven't worked in an office in years. Back then I never heard it, but weird stuff did go on at my office.

There was one man and a bunch of woman in our division of the bank. We had are own cubicles and every one was friends. We all knew the others were married. However, there was one single gal who loved to flirt with my boss, a male. They were good friends and everyone knew nothing was going on. He didn't really flirt back but would sometimes go along with the crazy remarks. If you didn't know better you would think she was harassing him. She would make silly remarks and we once decorated his cubicle in a ridiculous way to make him laugh. She teased him all the time and it was comical. Like I said, he was so innocent. She was ugly and bored at work.

The love you thing may just be everyone joking around or showing some term of endearment. I can understand that if he doesn't give you a lot of affection, then you have a right to worry. If he's not telling you enough then you have the right to be hurt.

I have heard off the cuff comments that incorporated love in them that are innocent. Such as "I love you for finishing that project" or "I love you as a person but you need to do better at your job". However, saying "I love you" is an intimate and personal thing. It reflects deep feelings of affection and adoration. There are only a handful of people outside of my family that I tell them I love them, but these people are close enough to me to almost be family. The same goes for my husband. I have never experienced anyone using the phrase "I love you" in a casual way to show admiration, especially within business. I would be uncomfortable if one of my co-workers or clients said "I love you" to me - and I have known some of these people for over fourteen years!

If saying "I love you" is not a big deal then why isn't he saying this more to you? It seems as though some line has been crossed with the females your husband associates with and he doesn't seem to mind. If it's not a big deal then the next time he has a call when you are around, would he be willing to put in on speaker to have you listen to the conversation? If it is not a big deal, would he be willing to have you meet these women?

Let's give your husband the benefit of the doubt, which is very difficult to do. Then he needs to step up and take responsibility in re-drawing that line and making sure there is no confusion in the interactions he has with these women. Even if they say "I love you" he does not have to respond in kind. He can say thank you. He can say "I appreciate you too". He could even step up and say that he would prefer to not use the phrase "I love you" in such a flippant way since it is a strong and important reference to how he feels for you - his wife.

I wish you well with your husband. I am not sure if I would be as calm as you are if I were in a similar situation.

Um, very inappropriate and awkward! The only men i say i love you to is my husband, my daddy, my brother and my boys! I don't even say it to my FIL.
I don't know, this sounds very fishy to me!

My guess is that in your heart you know, hence the post. C'mon, If this was normal behavior it would've happened in front of you from time to time. If u want to really know, push for it. Cheating men usually want to be found out.

Sorry.

Honey, if you've never met the lady that's a problem right there. If he loved you, you would have met this "customer" especially after 4 years. When my hubby, or any hubby I know, gets close to someone he always wants to introduce me. His story sounds extremely fishy! But hey It's your decision you decide what you feel is best. Good luck to you, sending you some love & light.

It is not common in business relationships. But it can happen occasionally. I can think of two instances when I said it in the course of a client relationship or co-worker relationship. Any there was no monkey business involved. Once I was at a restaurant in a business meeting and I lost my car keys. I was hosting and my client went over backwards to help me find them. He checked his pockets, emptied his brief case, crawled under the table to see if they had fallen. We found them - the keys had slipped into the crevice of the bench seat. I told him that I loved him - not romantically, but that he went far out of his way to help me. Same type of appreciation to co-workers- I have said "I love you" to co-worker and my boss who have gone above and beyond to help me.
Please keep the lines of communication open with your husband. If this is an isolated situation, I wouldn't be devastated. If there are other signs, I would try some marriage counseling. Good luck!

The only women my husband says "I love you" to that are not his family are hippy lesbians. Your husband is cheating on you, that behavior is not normal.

I think it's very unusual.

I will add: Are you and your husband very young? The younger generation is very affectionate, and in this generation it could be sort of normal.

I guess if you trust him, and are pretty sure he's not doing anything, then don't worry about it. Loving other human beings isn't a bad thing.

I have some foreign friends who live here in California. They were so shocked how much they heard 'Love.' The lady said her mom and dad never even said it (in her language). Her husband is a contractor and was hearing "oh I love the lights. I love the paint. I love the countertop." They were in culture shock.

I do have to admit, adults saying 'I love you' in the USA is not common unless it is to the parents or spouse/boyfriend/sex partner. If someone fix a major fail then saying in a group 'OMG I love you! Thank you so much for fixing this error!' No need for fixer to say 'love you' back.

You need to decide if you trust your husband. Many men will say anything to get out of trouble and think it is to spare your feelings. Use common sense.

I am a feely affectionate kind of person. I don't imagine I would have any sort of friendship where I loved that person without them being a family friend. Why in the world wouldn't he have this person in your family's life if he loves them.

I would be mad but get over it quickly. IF he is doing something wrong he got caught, now he'll be thinking about it more, how it would hurt and destroy his life.

I would want to know a lot more about this person. BTW, why were the keys a question? Did she lose them while her clothes were off?????? Did she lose them when she laid her purse down and misplaced it? Maybe it dumped out? I have a questionable situation here and I would be upset and hurt.

BUT you know him, can he be trusted? Is he honorable? Is he a caring and loving man? Why doesn't he say he loves you every day? If he does then he should be showing it and saying it every day.

I had a client from the UK (his family emigrated from Romania when he was 16) who use to say 'I love you' to practically everyone and although I usually spoke with him via long distance when he came to visit our site he usually stopped by for a chat and he always was a hugger.
Maybe it's a European thing but he'd give ladies a quick kiss on a cheek.
He was married, a total family man, had several teenage kids - he was just a loveable guy, very social and a joy to work with.
If anyone does something for me that gets me over a difficulty I tend to say 'I love you' but the sentiment is more like 'I LOVE what you just did for me! That was SO thoughtful!".
It's nice to show appreciation and it's nice to receive it, too.
Not every business environment is like this - some are quite a bit more stuffy and formal but I enjoy working with the more friendly people.
It's just a more pleasant atmosphere.
I've worked in several situations with people from various continents and cultures vary quite a bit - you have to take it into account.

How this makes you feel speaks more to a feeling of insecurity that you have.
You've just heard him say 'I love you' casually and you're maybe a little bit jealous that he doesn't talk with you like this as much as you'd like.
These are things you and he need to talk about.
If you are feeling secure in your relationship with him then his saying 'I love you' to anyone else is not going to bother you.

My eyes widened and my eyebrows raised when I read your post. I am sorry but he says I love you to a client(s) ???? really?
The other ladies have said it all. If you have thought about this constantly since it happened then your gut instinct is screaming at you.

I would say 'if she is such a close friend then I would really like to meet her' Give me her number and I will call and ask her and her husband to meet us for drinks this Friday. Of course they are just friends so he will have no problem handing over her number right??

If he is such great friends with there women then surely he must talk about them to you at home? Don't you talk to him about your friends? does he at least know your friends names? Do you talk about your work collegues if you work or when you did? Why the secrets from you?