I Need Some Major Help PLEASE!!

Updated on August 14, 2008
S.T. asks from Kansas City, KS
8 answers

I have a 5 year old son and I've been a stay at home mom for three weeks now I also have a 16 month old and watch my 6 month old niece. My son is having major attitude back talking episodes he has even started to hit me sometimes when I put him into time out. I need some projects to keep him busy! He is bored and I think a lot has to do with that plus he knows it hurts me and I'm going to argue with him which I think he likes. I just started to read the 123 magic book. Thanks for letting me vent alittle. My real questions is please give me some project ideas plus school projects to get him ready for school. We do workbooks everday. Thanks again S.

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi S.,

I am a daycare provider and here are the websites I use:

www.first-school.ws
All the sheets are free on this site.
We made all of the little alphabet, color books, and shape books they offer and then we made a book box for them. We used sticky foam letters for their name and we put their favorite stickers on them.
There is a link on the website above
something like www.dltk-teach.com I think thats what it is.

www.enchantedlearning.com
This site has a $20 membership fee but it has a lot of cool things to do also

www.abc-teach.com
This site also has membership fee of $35 dollars but you can print of alot of cool things. Like you can make your own crossword puzzles. You can make your own handwriting sheets, word walls, math work sheets, they have color pages, books you caqn make. Alot of the things they have on here you can make into file folder games. All you need is some manilla folders, card stock and if you don't have a laminator you can use clear contact paper. (Walmart has it for $5.74 a roll). Anyway let me know if you need any help or anymore ideas. I can email you pics of the things I have made of these site. W.

By the way with the things I made into file folder games, I then took a bag I bought at walmart in the craft section and put the kids names on their bag with fabric paint.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Kansas City on

S. -

Good luck with the behavior stuff! My son and I went round and round from ages 5-8 with similar behavior. I read the Love & Logic books and adopted those techniques and life is MUCH smoother these days. I know you aren't asking for advice on behavior but I am going to give you a very valuable tip that I have learned and works WONDERS! Always have your tone match what you want in return from him. I always made the mistake of yelling back at my son and things just escalated from there with us getting in just a total shouting match and ending with him in his room angry and crying and me in my room doing the same. I am sad and embarrassed looking back at those times and that's why I am sharing that with you. Keep your cool and always walk away when you can't. I was never physical with my son but he made me boil some days! It will pass, boys are just tough!
As far as activities go here are some my son always enjoyed:

Building stuff...kits...etc. (check out your local craft stores for cheap ones).

Painting...finger paints, watercolors, and my son always loved the color wonder stuff from Crayola that you can find at wal mart and store s like that. You can also make shaving cream "finger paint" relatively easy from recipes on the net.

Outside: bubbles, painting rocks - my kids loved this, sidewalk chalk

Misc. ...have your son build rock houses out of food boxes for his painted rocks. Again, this is something my kids had fun doing and you almost always have scraps lying around that you can use. You can also give him old junk mail and magazines and let him make collages.

Lastly, educational sites on the net and computer games. My son LOVED playing the educational computer games. He will enjoy that and as long as they are educational based then you can feel good about him being on there for a little while.

Oh, one more thing my son liked at that age. If you have a small tent let him set it up in the living room or somewhere fun. They sell mini ones at Target that are like $20 and come with a little chair and flashlight. Tell him that he can play in there as long as he wants but he will not be permitted to play in there on days where he throws fits...that makes it a special "hide out" or "club house." Get him a magic toybox (We used a rubber maid mini container) and fill it with army guys and crayons/coloring books, books, and cars. My son had a ball with this. And really, it didn't make the house a mess because the toys were all in there!

I am not sure where you live but there are places near where we live that have open gyms where you pay like $5-$7 and you can bring your kids up to climb, run, and tumble for a couple hours. That will wear him out! And you can interact with other mommies too ;)

Have a super day!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a lot of fun books for my boys that keep them entertained while I'm cooking dinner or working on laundry. One of my son's favorite is "1001 Pirate things to spot." My younger son loves "There's a mouse about the house!" and "A squirrel's Tale" All the books are interactive and does not require me to sit right with them when I need to get a few things done.

Let me know if I can help you further!

S.
Usborne Books
www.ubah.com/w2474
*member perk available*

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S.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I know you really want project advice, but it sounds like he's just vying for your attention over the two babies. I can't help putting in my two cents' worth on the attitude thing - hope you don't mind. After five kids, I learned that it's best to get on top of stuff now, while they're still young enough! Here are some ideas I think might help you:

(1) Sit him down at a time when he's not acting out - maybe during a meal time when you have his undivided attention, or while the babies are asleep. Tell him it's a LOT OF WORK taking care of three children. Explain to him that he is the big brother, and you need his help with this. That you expect him to behave so that your work isn't harder. Remind him that he is old enough to play by himself when you're busy with the babies. Promise him that you will still find time to play with him, but not when you are taking care of the babies. Tell him that you know he might not like this, but there are good things about being the oldest too - and list a couple. Tell him that you KNOW he CAN behave (list a time or two when he pleased you), and that you expect him to do that ALL the time (try not to laugh when you say that).

(2) Tell him that you also know that he gets bored. Tell him that the two of you together will put together a box that has toys he can play with or things to do, and that when he gets bored, he needs to do those things - not bug you. Ask him to help you make a list of things that should go in it - his favorite toys, etch-a-sketch, some crayons and paper, sidewalk chalk, whatever. I see the other moms have some GREAT ideas for play stuff. Use a paper & pencil to write down what he says so he knows you are serious and are taking him seriously. If he lists something that can't go in it, tell him that's a great idea, but it won't fit in the box, or it's the kind of toy he can't play with alone, or whatever. THEN GET THE BOX TOGETHER ASAP!

(3) Tell him that he's all set up now, and knows the rules. Tell him WHAT TO EXPECT if he breaks the rules. It shouldn't be "yelling," because yelling is still attention. I would strongly suggest that you tell him you will send him to his room to play every time he acts up, and that he will be able to decide when to come out himself - when he believes he can play without causing a problem for you. If he comes back out and starts again - immediately put him back. Do it quietly, without yelling. In my opinion, the best thing is to put one hand on his shoulder, and steer him down the hall to his room, saying gently - you need to be in your room until you can stop [whatever it is he's doing]. Do not argue if he tries to engage you. Just repeat the same line, then put him in his room and tell him he can come out when he thinks he can behave, close the door and walk away.

(4) MAKE TIME every week to do something, just you and him. It can be only 20 minutes if that's all you have - just as long as it is really about just the two of you. Even if it is only a walk around the block, or laying on the floor with him while he is playing his favorite game. And when you do - specifically tell him - "remember, I said I would make time for you! Well, I am!"

If you do these things pretty consistently and it doesn't work - then you need better advice than anything I've read in a parenting book or tried on my kids!

Good luck... and take care of yourself. Three kids can exhaust anyone...

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B.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I know you wrote this request a while ago, but I just now found it. When I first started staying home with my kids I had to find activities also. One of the things I ran into was a website with all these great ideas. The one that I liked the best was to make a box with lots of baggies in it. In the bags (use the zip lock kind that are bit more expensive with the zipper so the kids can open and close them by themselves) put different acitivies. I spent some time creating these activities, but whenever we are ultra bored, I get out the box and my daughter chooses what she wants to do. Here are some examples of our activities. Your activities might need to be different since your son is older than my daughter, but some of these are still too old for her, so they may work for you.

1 - cards with the letters of the alphabet and others with pics of things that started with that letter. Each letter and each pic got their own index card to be glued to (I used index cards and cut them in half to get more use out of them). My daughter matches the card with the picture. If you choose simple pics, you can practice spelling with them later

2 - Paper and stickers. My daughter just loves stickers, so i did this for her

3 - numbers and cards with the pics. match the number with the card that has that many pics on it

4 - paper and scissors - we cut up the paper into lots of shapes and then i give her another paper and she glue them down for a collage

5 - play dough - we love this one

6 - crayons and paper - sometimes it is just fun to color

7 - barrell of monkeys (ours is the easter version with an egg and the rabits, but you get the idea)

There are more, but those are some ideas

We also like to cook. If it is crummy outside we will bake and eat the treat at the end. :)

Board games are also great ways to spend quality time with your son if outside isn't an option (like when the little ones are napping and etc. I went to big lots the other day and found this great game cube thing with 8 games in it. it is sesame street and has memory, snap, old maid, checkers, dominoes, bingo, tic tac toe, and something else for $16. She loves it and it is all stored so nicely in this little drawer that takes up next to no room. the games are also simplified if your son has never played them before.

hope this helps!

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Do you have a lite bright? LOL That can take awhile.

Computer? Computer games are pretty cool and they have all kinds that are educational.

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N.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a 4 year old that will be 5 in November. He goes to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays but is VERY active every other day of the week. I have found, and it is harder for me than him, that a schedule, like they follow at school is best. He gets up, has breakfast, watches a little bit of cartoons...loves Diego. They we do a fun phycial activity, like outside or inside basketball downstairs. I usually like to try to get him to have a calm down time. You can fill a rubber bin with water, little rocks, sand, noodles (cooked or uncooked) and have him play with it. They say at his preschool that to calm a child down you need to be working both sides of his brain. They even do this at my daughters school too. They have them crossing their arms over each other, and just working both sides of their brain. Goodluck

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T.B.

answers from Springfield on

Have him start working on worksheets that work on ABC's and 123's. Basically try and get it that it is more of a school environment for him. My son was home with me when he was 5 because of his birthday. We did different craft activities, such as plaster of paris, finger painting, painting, sidewalk chalk (this he loved when we had chalkboard paint on something like the cabinets or a section of the wall and he had a blast. I do a daycare in my home so if you need some sites just shoot me a message and I can give you a bunch of places that you can find different activities. We also used 123 Magic and WE LOVED IT!! Our kids are 11 and 10 and we still use it now and they listen to it and we started 123 Magic when our son was 4/5 and our daughter was 3/4.

T.

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