I Start Today

Good job S.!! You are right to finally realize that it is NOT normal for moms to disappear when they have kids. I have a lot of friends who say "I am a better mother because I work outside the home." For me, it's all about working out. I used to think it was selfish that I dragged my babies to the gym with me and made them sit in the babysitting place for 90 minutes. Then I realized, hey, I'm a better mom when I do this for ME. Good for you for doing something for YOU. You will be a better mom and a better person for it. Keep us posted!

S. - I am wishing you the very best. I am starting to take my life back also. I want to be proud of the women looking back at me in the mirror. Remember you matter, you are important and you need to be happy with what you see.

You go, girl!

Remember this about clothing--better to have a few NICE, GOOD pieces than a large amount of crud. Don't get someone else's cast-offs. Go get yourself a few nice things that look great and make you feel fabulous!

I never worry about limited items--I'd rather have a few "go to" outfits I love.

A good hair cut and nice nails (both sets!) go a long way in looking put together and polished, so budget for that every so often. Even jeans and a top look better with a nice haircut and nails that are done.

I'm proud of ya!

Just like the airlines always taught us - you must put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help others. ;)

Put your program in your SWH, I'd love to hear it! Congrats!

I can relate to the looks thing. Three pregnancies in a row on a tight wardrobe budget (to say the least with no health insurance-all our money was paying the hospital and I must have worn the same two Target maternity outfits for six years straight!!!) took a toll. I did manage to stay faithful to the gym and lose the weight each time and eventually pieced together enough flattering garments to actually show up to all the birthday parties, drop offs, etc.(usually just two pairs of jeans and a few tops and seasonal shoes can rotate enough-but in our area, forget groovy hair cut-it's been a STRUGGLE to adjust style-wise after city life) I know how you feel. It would have been easy to bow out and get lost if I wasn't the only parent home. I got through the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like I'm "back" now, but it was tough.

Keep your vow and get back into life, It is fun, and for the record: No one cares how you look but you. I certainly like all the different moms at all the different events no matter what they look like. One of the moms I see at one of my kid's classes is super obese, she's always in hospital scrubs and no make up. She has five kids with her-three in classes, and two waiting with her. The first time I saw her I thought, "Wow, she must be totally exhausted coming her straight from work! She is awesome!" She's so nice and she's always there supporting her kids and good for a fun conversation. My youngest plays with her youngest while we wait, and all the moms get along great. I'm sad when she's not there! Luckily we live in a very unsuperficial area, it could be tough if all the moms look and act like barbies, but I bet you'll feel a lot more accepted than you think. And if any of the "mean girl moms" ignore you-PHEW! Who cares about them anyway. You're right-do it for your kids, they want to see you feeling happy in your skin.
Post your "me program" Good work!

**Ps One and Done is SOO right-a few good wardrobe pieces will make you feel like a million bucks while the wrong clothes-will make you feel suicidal. Purge ALL the cheap ill fitting stuff even if it leaves you only two or three thing in your closet. Hair, make-up, nails are worth their weight in gold. ( my nails don't stay painted, but they need to be clean and filed well)

Good for you! One of the greatest things we can do for our kiddos is take the best possible care of ourselves!

S.:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! What a HUGE step you are taking to get YOU back!!!

Your true friends will still be there when you pick up the phone to call and say "HEY!!! I'm taking my life back!!! Wanna join me?"

Take it one step at a time. Baby steps. That way you will be able to track your progress better. Sign up for the YMCA - so the kids can go with you but YOU can be YOU!!

Go ahead and buy clothes that FIT NOW. Go to Goodwill - so you aren't spending a ton of money. This will go a long way in helping you feel better about yourself as well...new clothes that FIT and you didn't spend a fortune on them. I'm always surprised at what I find in Goodwill...brand name clothes with the tags still on them....Coach purses...Ralph Lauren pants...the list goes on and on!!

If you lived closer - I would walk with you in the mornings after the kids were off to school!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!

Good for you! A lot of us have been there, including myself!
I think you should keep us posted weekly!

One of my favorite quotes is "you can't draw water from an empty well". It's the truth! As mom, you're being "drawn from" every moment of the day. When your reserves are low - or nonexistent - you cannot be the best mom for your kids. Getting some space / time each day and investing in your physical and mental health will give you more energy and confidence and you'll find yourself again.

Good luck on your venture. We're here for you, too!

It's so easy to get caught up caring for the kids and not allowing any ME time! I'm going through the same thing. 2 weeks ago, I finally joined a gym, but still have only been twice! It's hard to get out of the house when there is not a good support system. I can't really take full opportunity of the daycare at the gym b/c I have special needs kids.
So, when I can't get out, I turn PANDORA on the internet and pick out my favorite dance music and just dance in my living room. Also, I got a jump rope and have been using that as well. Or, I'll put the kids in the stroller and go for a walk.
I found that just making time just to get my hair done helps me feel better.
If you have others to hang out with, hooray! Go hang out and have a good time. Try not to compare yourself and focus on your own insecurities. Maybe buy 2-3 outfits that you can feel good in just for hanging out purposes.
You're not dead, yet. So. . . go get your life where you want it to be! When set backs occur, just get back in the game again. Best wishes on your journey. Keep us posted.

I'm with you all the way!!! In the meantime, buy a couple of cute things, even if it is cheap jewelry or colorful breezy clothes or add a scarf or something to make yourself feel the exciting fun person you are!!! Do not worry about how you looked!!or how you look today!! Enjoy you! Think about how you liked! and loved enough to have those wonderful people you care so much about. And give one of those mommies a smile. They may be feeling a little blue themselves. You are right! it is a new day and remember-How you liked having fun, and doing things and go out and soak in a ray of sunshine. We are here for you!!!

:::::::::::::::::wild applause::::::::::::::::::::

Yeah!!! Go get 'em, S.!

I once was in your exact same shoes. My older sister gave me the best advice: throw away your sweats and don't ever put them on again. To this day, I do not own a pair (although I have longed for the warm coziness of them on occassion!) :)

Get some really great jeans and a cute pair of flats (I have a pair of flats that constantly get compliments, even from strangers. I got them at Target!) and always, always, always take the time to do your hair. You will be glad you spent the time, even if you are staying home for the day. It just makes you feel better! Good jeans and non-frumpy shoes will dress up even a plain t-shirt. Cheryl O. had a great suggestion- try out second hand stores.

Please post your ME program! I think we ALL want to know how it goes!

Good for you!!!

Updated

Good for you!!!

I just wanted to say that what your doing is AWESOME and SO IMPORTANT. It's so easy as mothers to take care of everyone else and we often forget to take care of ourselves. Ultimately women who take time out for themselves and cultivate loving relationships with their spouses are the best mothers.

Congratulations on taking the first step and fighting back. Don't get discouraged and never give in. Take yourself out for activities you enjoy with friends or on your own once in a while. It's not all about your weight and your appearance. It's also about making time to rejuvenate and take part in activities that make you the woman and person that you are. We should never be allowed to define ourselves solely as mothers. We are women, we are moms, we are individuals and we are wives. Cultivate and nurture all parts of your being!

Good for you!! It is a great investment.

I can totally relate. I have backed out of social events at the last minute due to not feeling comfortable with the way I look, or that I had nothing in the closet that fits right. I wish you all the best! Definitely let us now how it goes, and what you're doing! We might learn something!

Congratulations on taking time for yourself!! I would love to hear how your program works.

Is this a 12 step program ;) ??
Share the agenda.
What are you gonna do first?

I know exactly how you feel and had that a-ha moment last fall. I am still working on it. Let us know how it goes!

I definately want to know how it goes. Good for you! byt he way I'd be happy to offer any support I can any time you need it!

We are on the same project!! Good luck!