I Want More Children

Please, please do not get pregnant if you and your husband do not agree about when to have another child. You will only create problems................

my kids are 3 and 1. But knowing what i know now, I would've waiting until my daughter was 4 before I birth my second. She would've been mature enough and nurturing (and not jealous). And life would be so much easier for all of us. but with them so close together in age (both very young), they suck the energy out of us everyday. it's constantly juggling.

It looks like your daughter might be 3.5 or close to 4 years old when you have your second, if it goes as you BOTH plan. That might work out well for you guys.

But understand why your husband might not be ready. you guys are barely settling with your first and he may feel like he just needs time to relax, finally! so another one around the corner may be hard on him.

Just make sure to have your daughter be involved in everything when it comes to expecting a new baby. By the time the baby comes around, she may adjust better.

Hi my name is T., I have a 2 1/2 yr boy and a 2 month old boy. We really didn't plan, we just started trying. My 2 1/2 yr old is very helpful and is very loving to his baby brother. I am glad that they will be close enough to play. Your second one will seem to grow up faster and time will really fly. It is hard to split my time between the two. Good luck!!

Hi L.,

I think, no matter how much "planning" you do, having a second baby is challenging and wonderful. I agree that you should only have another if your husband is ready, though. I also have to say that we had our girls almost 5 years apart thinking that the older one would be "more mature and less jealous". At this point they are very jealous of eachother and drive me nuts sometimes with their bickering. There are times when my older dd (now almost 7) will be kind and helpful to her sister, maybe more so than if she was only 4 or 5, but I don't think we avoided any trouble by waiting. Who knows?

Good luck, and I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement.

I'm not sure what you mean by "plan." No matter how much you plan you are never exactly ready. I have a boy that just turned 3, a 17 month old and one due in about four weeks. It's tough at first to have them so close together...but they do grow up together, learn together and keep eachother company as they get older.

L.,
It is important for hubby to be on board. Just be open and honest about your concerns and what you would like. See if you can come to an understanding. I know that waiting is hard. I have a 7 1/2 year age gap between myself and my sister. My kids are 5 1/2 years apart. It just worked out that way for my kids, we tried and tried and they were 5 1/2 years apart. I hope it all works out and enjoy your little one.
~~D.

Before you can plan for more children, you need to sit down and have a conversation with your husband about this. Ask him what his feelings are about having more, how many more he would want to have, what the financial situation is of your household to support more, etc. That way you have a clear picture of where he is coming from. If he agrees with you to have more, then you can discuss how far apart to have them and when to start trying again. If he does not agree to have more at this time, then you need to let it go for now, regardless of how badly you want more. Because it is not fair to the unborn child or to him to have another child that will not be wanted and may end up being resented. For now, focus your attention on the child you already have and be the best parents you can.

Best of luck,
J.