Ideas for Time Out

I would get a used carseat, cheap. And use it only for timeouts. Strap her in and leave her there for 2 min when she misbehaves. When she is in timeout, she has already misbehaved and to try and teach her to listen and sit still while she is in timeout is too much for a 2 yr old. You are just trying to correct her for the initial wrong. You can teach her to listen to you more effectively when she is not already upset about being in timeout.

I've had a difficult time with my 3 1/2 yr old and my 13 month old too. The only thing that seems to work so far is that I had my inlaws watch my youngest all day long and we (my husband, myself and Zachary) stayed at home and spent all day "parenting". Every time he did anything "bad" he was sent to his room. We spent the first half of the day dragging him back to his room until he finally realized that every single time we told him to go, he was going to go there, and stay there until the timer beeped. If that meant he walked there or was dragged there is up to him but by the end of the day he was going on his own and staying there. Also another thing that worked was that when he did something really offensive like harm his younger brother in any way, we took away the "beloved blankie" and put it on the top shelf for "time
out" - at least 30 minutes. While I'm cooking I put baby gates up everywhere. I block both the entrances of my kitchen so neither can get in. Then if the older does something "bad" then he goes to his room and if he won't stay there, I put up the gate so he can't get out. In our old house I had turned the door knob so it locked from the outside and if he has a truly terrible temper tantrum, in he goes and I lock the door until he quits screaming. (usually about 5-8 min). Best of luck! Jen
PS - I like the idea of using an old car seat for time out. that way if she gets up more than once you can strap her in and then set the beeper. She'll learn that it's either her choice to stay in it or if she gets up she'll be strapped in. Either way she's gonna learn that what MOMMY says is the RULE.

When you read my other post, you'll see that we have a crib with a crib tent on it for our 3 year old. When we give him a time-out, he goes into his crib, zipped up, for a few minutes.

He can't get out & I can take care of the baby or whatever situation landed him there in the first place.

Hope this helps,
T.

As a mom of two, I soooo understand where you are coming from. The only thing i can suggest is to hold the baby while putting your 2 yo back in time out...Do not say anything to her, just keep putting her back, and dont start the timer until she has sat there without getting up. Then make her appoligize to the baby.

I know how hard this can be. my son is 11 months and has been about 25 pounds now for quite some time...Kills your back!! But you have to be consistant and not give it.

Another suggestion is to place your 2 yo in her room. That is if her toys are not in there. keep the door shut, and when she calms down, start the timer, and let her out to appoligize. *big hugz*

K.

Is she a newly 2 year old? Or is she almost 3? Plain and simple she wants and needs your attention. Right now she is figuring out that if she acts up then she gets your attention,even though it is negative attention. Do you put the baby down to sleep before her? I would maybe try doing that and having time to wind down,just her and Mommy. Brush her hair,let her brush your hair. Rub her feet and let her rub yours. You get it. She is having to share Mommy now and that is making her feel something she never felt before. If she is a talkative 2 year old you can ask her how she feels when you have to take care of the baby. You would be surpised how often just talking about it and acknowledging the issue will diffuse the tension she is feeling. Hopefully some of this will help.

Liz

Is there anyone else that can help you? Is the other child old enought to help you? If not when she attacks the baby try popping her hand and tell her why she can't do that, but also tell her that you love her as much as the new baby. When she realizes that you aren't going to let her do bad things and she understands that you do love her too, she'll stop. It may take time, but eventually she will stop. You have to let her know that you are the parent. Take back control of the situation.

It's so hard when they're both so young. I've got that same age gap right now. One person told me that the baby won't really remember what's gone on, but that toddler will. And it will shape who she is. Be patient. (so easy to say, so hard to do) Whatever you see is her "hot button" times or situations, try to avoid that. My 2 year old will be fine most of the time unless he's hungry or sleepy or bored. That's when the fighting starts and he starts trying to cover up his little brother's face with a blanket or hold his arms down. So when I notice him getting tired or hungry or bored, I try to give him something new to do. Sometimes I have him help me fix lunch or a snack. Or we'll break out mommy's special markers or rubber stamps and let him play for a little while. The clever art of distraction always works... even if only for a few minutes. The trick you're looking for isn't really what type of punishment to do; it's how to keep her from needing a punishment. Good luck! And remember to take lots of pictures of those kids... they grow up so fast!

I'm no nanny 911, but it sounds like your 2 year old is having a hard time sharing you with the 8 month old and is acting the way she is to get your attention. If you can get help from a husband or friend, spend some alone quality time with your 2 year old as much as possible. She used to have you to herself and now has to share, and toddlers do not know how or like to share yet, so she needs your help. Maybe give her a special title like mommy's special helper. Give her little tasks and make a big deal when she helps. (make up a little dance or song just for her when she does something helpful)

When you put her in time out, are you reposnding verbally to her, or showing her you are upset with her actions? It's very possible that she is looking for that reaction from you. Perhaps you could pick-up the baby, then take your older child by the arm and escort her to her chair and calmly tell her why she's there and that she can not get up until you say so. Her first reaction will be to get up, so you without a word this time, take her back to the chair and sit her down. Each time she gets up, don't react, just calmly put her back. It'll take some time, consistency and lots of patience. I have only one child, but he did the same thing. I realized that he was looking for a reaction, though I'm not sure why.

I know how very frustrating it can be, hang in there.

hello! time out is tricky. you don't want to over do it. with three year olds and under i find it is best to get their attention.
for example: come down to their level, make eye contact, and tell them they are to loud and you can't here them. once the child is listening. tell them you need their help. then ask them to sit with you in the time out area. let them know they can get up the moment they are quit! most important! the moment they are quit be sure to make a fuss with hugs and words of encouragement. little people just want to help. try using the words (i need your help) in place of, don't and stop! you will see the diffrentce