If Parents Make Kids Give up Their Beds for Guests?

So kids can learn to get over their sense of entitlement. Sounds like you have a ways to go on that front.

It's called respect of adults, guests, others. Respect is when you put others first because you care about them due to age or just position or because for no other reason than you love them. When people come to visit and they are invited they are guests and you should do all you can to make the feel welcomed and that includes adults having beds, kids can sleep on floors or wherever much easier than adults can, trust me. If I had to sleep on a floor I may not get up again. You can. Try to care about others more. Enjoy others. That's what makes life less boring too. ( In case you're one of the kids of today who find life always boring. )

Parents sacrifice a lot for their kids. I know single moms who sleep on the couch so their child can have a bedroom.

Children do not pay rent, they do not pay the bills and they do not own their bedroom. If they do pay rent, then they still don't own the home and if they don't like it then they can pay rent elsewhere.

I've not known too many children who are unwilling to give up their room for guests. Most of them are excited to "camp out" in the living room or go in with a sibling. And they love having relatives over.

I am guessing your mom said , "no" to the hammock?

And sorry, but my kids can be inconvenienced for a bit so we can spend time with people we love.

You have a classic "first world" problem here.

Kids in "third world" countries have problems like starvation, parents dead from AIDS, they are HIV positive, they have no home, they have no toys, no clothes, they can't go to school and don't know how to read or write so they are destined to live in poverty forever, they go to bed hungry, and they die of diseases we are vaccinated against here.

You, on the other hand, have to give up your bed for a week. I feel so bad for you.

Traveling is expensive. It is always nice to be able to cut costs, AND get to spend more time with the people you are traveling to see, by staying at their house. (although, I prefer it only for close friends and family...)

When someone is staying at your house, it is common courtesy to make sure that they are as comfortable as possible... even if that means that someone has to give up their bed. Usually the kids/teenagers, because THEY are the ones who can pretty much sleep anywhere, without experiencing back/hip/leg issues. When I was younger, I used to go camping all the time where I would sleep straight on the ground, with nothing but a blanket. Now, I can try to sleep on our nice, carpeted floor with a blanket and I will wake up with intense back and knee pain... Even sleeping on a decent air mattress or a futon can give me bad back pain.

Besides... it's not the KID's bed anyway... The PARENTS paid for it... the PARENTS pay the bills... The PARENTS pay for the roof over the kid's head... Unless the kid is working, paying rent and her own bills, and bought the bed herself, she really can't complain; if the parents decides that they are going to temporarily relocate their kid, it's their right.

I assume you are the teenager who was asked to endure minor and temporary inconvenience for the comfort of another. We call this being nice. Some might call it hospitality.

Ask your parents to give you more opportunities to learn these things. You'll be a better person for it.

It is called courtesy. It is called being hospitable.

If you are worried about things being stolen from your room, then move them to your parents room or their closets.

Sleeping on an air mattress, a sleeper or a sleeping bag every once in a while never hurt anyone. This is not a battle worthy subject.

Be apart of being a good hostess, you ever know what your own future may bring. Some day you may be honored, by being allowed to be a guest at someone's home fora nice stay.

well, because they are the kids and they need to do as they are asked by their parents.

because family or friends visiting matters. giving up a bed for a couple of nights does not matter in the long run- spending time with family/friends does. it's called priorities. your parents know this. you will when you mature.

curious why you care? I'm in a small house -- we do not have a guest room, but we do have bedrooms for each of the children. When family visits from out of town, I don't want them to pay for a hotel, and they don't want that either. For now, they sleep on a futon in the basement -- but I would not hesitate to ask the children to share a room for a few days so that they get to see their grandparents. Seems a reasonable trade off and if none of the parties mind, why do you care? Doesn't seem like such a big issue for a child to do to get to see grandparents, other relatives, or friends who come from out of town.

ETA: Oh, I get it. I guess I missed that you are actually the kid feeling inconvenienced because your parents deigned to ask you to move to accommodate guests. Should have recognized that. If I'm right, you're having a tantrum... All makes sense.

We have family that lives several states away. If we didn't invite them to visit and stay in our home, we would never see them. Our daughter would never have the opportunity to get to know her cousins and spend time with them. We would never dream of making them pay for a hotel room unless there just wasn't any other alternative because we didn't have enough room. Hotel rooms cost a lot of money and they need to make things more affordable if they want to come visit us.

Giving up your bed or your room for few days is a small price to pay for the chance to be a good host or hostess. If you had to stay in someone else's house, you would appreciate being given a bed to sleep on if possible instead of having to camp out on the floor. Part of being a grown-up is being able to put your guests comfort and needs above your own, in exchange for the pleasure of their company. And sometimes, some things are just the right thing to do. Having to share a bed with your sister is not the end of the world.

Um, because I assume you actually want to see these people?
Everyone sacrifices something when guests come. Kids give up beds, mom and dad spend extra time and money shopping, cooking, cleaning and entertaining,
But it's worth it because we only have company that we enjoy spending time with. It's FUN!
Why else would we invite them in the first place?

Because it's no skin off their nose to have a sleepover in their brother's room. Because I want to see my family and friends. Because we do not have the luxury of having a big house with extra guest rooms. Because I want to.
L.

My dear aunt just visited for a week and left yesterday. My daughter gave up her room so my aunt could have a bed to sleep in. My daughter slept on the air mattress on our bedroom floor and loved it, and my aunt was comfortable in her bed - she's almost 60 we certainly would not allow her to sleep on the floor. Yikes, we're not that selfish. Not to mention, I love spending time with her when she is here, and if she were in a hotel she would have to spend money she doesn't need to and we wouldn't see as much of her.

I think seeing the importance of accomodating your loved ones and making them feel comfortable in your home comes with maturity. Often if we can't see this it's because we are too young to see outside of our immediate personal situation, they typical narcissism of they young that *hopefully* goes away with age.

Maybe next time you should offer to pay for the hotel for your visitors out of your allowance or part time job. You may quickly see the value in allowing someone to stay in your home.

However, I feel for Dancer84. With relatives (and parents) like that who don't allow you in the room and who disrespect your personal space maybe shouldn't be invited.

I think anyone should be able to post on this site, but your questions are coming from a child's perspective and this site is geared towards a parents perspective. I suspect you may not find many like minded points of view here, but I commend you for trying to see things from the adults and the parents perspective.

I used to looooooooooooooooove having my family come and stay!!! Of course, since my parents are gone and my nieces and nephews are all just about grown with lives of their own, we don't do it any more.

BUT, my parents used to come up and stay a couple days ALL the time!!! Priority was given to them for a bed; no problem there!! Then at least once or twice during the year we would have my sister and her kids - all six of them - come up and spend the night after a party or cook-out. It was a blast!!! Every one would just grab a blanket and pillow and sleep where they found space. It was hilarious where some of the smaller (more adventurous) kids would end up!! We would even pitch a tent if they wanted.

I couldn't imagine not letting family or friends stay if they're in the area!!! Guess it was just the way I was raised!!

And to answer your question - my kids never complained about giving up their bed for an adult or anyone; they got in on grabbing a blanket and finding a space to sleep!! It was fun!!!

I miss those days!!!

My teen son and I have long time friends that are a family of 4. When they come in town he gives up his room to the adults and the kids all "camp" on the sofas and blow up mattress.

No Biggie.

It is what you do for family and friends.

My son crashes with me, or gets to do 'living room camping' with movies and sleeping bag... and in either case is and always has been thrilled / is the first to be inviting people over.

As a kid myself... we usually all piled in one room with sleepingbags on the floor. It was awesome. No one ever damaged, rummaged through, or in any other way messed with my room or things. Our friends and family are FAR too respectful for that.

AHEM... As an adult in tiny housing (read studio, and 1bdroom crackerboxes), I also gave up my room/bed dozens of times. If a friend was going to visit me, I'd make up my bed with new sheets and crash on the couch. If they just got 'stuck' (read not sober), I'd make up the couch and they could sleep there.

A. - it's clear from this post and the last that you are one of the daughters... Seriously, if this is your biggest problem in life, consider your life a success and MOVE ON! it is common courtesy to make a guest comfortable in one's home, and by "one's home" - i refer to the home that belongs to YOUR PARENTS, not to you. 2 married couples are coming to visit, they should have the privacy of a bedroom, that's just plain and simple common courtesy. you and your sister should bunk on the couch for a few nights before the guests should. it's simply about manners and hospitality, it is NOT A BIG DEAL. as far as "why just not invite the guests?" - that should be easy, clearly one or both of your parents want to see these people, and as they have a home and space, they are allowed to!

This is actually a long time tradition in many cultures...

It's part of making guests feel welcome. It really depends on the size of your house and the availability of rooms and beds. We only have one kid, we have a finished basement with a guest room bed and sofa sleeper - so our company can have their own private area...

Personally, when we travel, we stay in a hotel/motel, that's just our preferance...I'm a bad sleeper and we don't want to impose. But for other people, staying at someone's house really encourages them to see each other and it's much less expensive for families who are on a tight budget.

This is a very odd question....what are you saying?

My take on your question, is that you would prefer to be alone, than have company over, in your space, especially if you had to have your kids give up their beds for a night or two?

When we were younger and had less, having company overnight was exciting, stimulating, fun to have extra cooks in the kitchen, extra people around to liven up the home, the kids had others to play with, etc.

I would have my kids sleep on futons to enjoy that type of atmosphere any day.

It's all a matter of perspective I suppose. If you don't enjoy people in your space, which is how I read your question, then I probably would not invite anyone over, bed or no bed.

I don't understand this question. My mom-dad in law just visited and my 5 year old, who likes to sleep in the guest room, gave up "his" bed for 2 nights. And he didn't care. He got to pick his alternate sleeping arrangements and he knew it was only for a couple of days.

Unless you're making your kids give up their room for weeks, why is this a big deal? The goal, I would guess, is to have people visit that you like/love/care about and not have them spend hundreds of dollars on a hotel when all you have to do is ask the kiddos to bunk differently for a short time. Usually they think it's an adventure.

Poor Dancer84 - I hope her experience was not typical of kids. NO way should a kid be forbidden to go into their own room when there are guests. They should just have to wait till the guests wake up. I've never thought about theft because I would never do that to someone. If my kid has valuables they are concerned about, I would have no problem of them being protective of them and moving them out of the room if it made them feel better. And changing the sheets is a normal thing - poor D84!

Is this a serious question? I'm confused honestly.

I think a lot of other people make good arguments and have good advice. You have to decide what's more important, seeing your family/friends and making it work, or never making your kids compromise.

I think kids learn important life lessons by sometimes being uncomfortable or having to sacrifice things. In this situation they might actually see that it can be fun to relocate for a few nights, especially if they get to have family so close!

I have a small 2 bedroom house...one for me, one for my daughter. I have bed space for 3 people. I invite my mom to stay with us, and she uses my daughter's bed. I would let my BFF do this, too. All others get an air mattress or hotel. My friends seem to like to visit in a group, and I just plain don't have room to house more than 3-4 people (including my daughter and me). I've told friends and more distant family that I love for them to visit but do not have beds (and room) for everyone. So, I can provide information on some reasonable hotels nearby. For family or friends where I know that is a financial deal breaker and really want them to visit, I arrange the hotel and pay for it and just let them know that I don't have enough space but have arranged a hotel.

Conversely, if I am visiting a friend, I don't want to make their family rearrange sleeping, rooms, and schedules. If they have a guest room or space for me to visit, that's great. If not, I'm happy to stay at a hotel so that everyone can be comfortable.

I think it really depends on the family situation.

If my family-- or husband's family-- visits, Kiddo's room would be where they stayed. We have a full-sized futon in there.(And with some groups, there would still be kids sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags.) Let me also say that Kiddo would sleep on the floor in our room and he would LOVE the opportunity to have a campout in there, sleeping in a 'cozy nest' on our floor the way he used to before we moved him to his own room.

Also, I adore my sister, her husband and their three sons. If they had the time to make the four+ hour drive, I wouldn't fuss about this. Some of our family members don't have money to spend all of their visiting time at a hotel, either. We figure that if they are paying airfare or making an effort to make the trip, so can we.

I think it is all a matter of the child's perspective. Our son would consider it a treat-- I can also imagine that other kids would not consider it a treat. Each family has to do what is right for them.

Let me also add that my grandparents would never bat an eye about giving up space for us when we were visiting as kids. We'd go and stay the summer with my grandparents and they would give my sister and I our own room.Whether or not it was convenient for them (they never asked for money for food, etc. either.) I think there's something to be said for being gracious and understanding that inconvenience is *temporary*. I also understood as a child and teen that while I was sometimes inconvenienced, my parents were paying the rent, paying for my every living expense, and that I could do as I chose when I was moved out and had my own place. There is a reason the parents are the authority, even when it's a real PITA-- it's because they do take on the responsibility for our existence as children/teens. (And some parents *don't* do that, too, so it's not a given or a right that our parents take good care of us.... It is something to be acknowledged.) I can't imagine my son telling me (in the future) that because I gave birth to him, I can't have any guests over because it would be a bother for him. As if carrying a baby for ten months and giving birth wasn't an "inconvenience"....!:)

I have a sleeper sofa that I picked up at a St Vinnies for $75. I love it. The fabric is kinda ugly and very '70's beige, brown, yellow and orange plaid. I found a nice looking linen colored slipcover on clearance and it just slips up when I need to use the bed. It's a comfortable sofa and a comfortable bed.

I love it when people come to visit and set up a sitting room in my house and it doubles as a guest room.

I move my son into my room when we have family stay. I am not going to ask my whole family to stay in hotels for Thanksgiving so my son can sleep in his regular room. He views it as a win/win - he gets to have his cousins stay with us AND gets to sleep in mommy and daddy's room.

Odd question. What is your point?

Every year as a kid; I had to give up my bedroom (the entire bedroom) for guests. I couldn't even go in there! I was terrified. Especially as a teenager...I didn't want anyone going in my dresser or closets! I had things stolen (yes, even family store items my aunt & uncle), things torn (a beautiful $400 bedding set I paid for myself as a teen!) and things pissed on (by uncles dog). I was so upset. Even when I stayed at my parents house after college in my own bedroom; I had to give it up. Lots of times I had nowhere to sleep or any privacy. I had to sleep downstairs or in my parents room. If you don't have the space then don't invite someone over! I feel bad for kids who have to give up their bedrooms!!!!!! Its terrifying especially if you don't even know the person! My mom wouldn't even let me wash the bedsheets afterwards either! My aunt & uncle would even have sex in my bed and bedsheets which I thought was rude.

Let me just say; I do enjoy company and family, but when you go back to room and things are gone as a kid you take that pretty harsh. Anyhow. I did pay for my own mattress, bed sheets, furniture, etc you name it; I had to buy it! So while it may be nice for your kids to give up their rooms you may want to think how they feel about it. If you have a trusting family or people staying over you can trust then go for it!

Because you'd rather see good friends or family that you havent seen in a while. Children typically think the world revolves around them, this is normal for very young children but as parents we encourage them to grow and change. After the age of 7 children begin to see that the world does not revolve around them and it is so good for children to be encouraged to move forward on this continuum. If you want your children to be happy and successful in life, teach them to respect their elders, teach them to do things for other people. Take them to soup kitchens and shelters to see what life is like and learn to help others, have them read about the billions of kids growing up in orphanages, barely getting enough to eat, never having any belongings of their own. The secret to happiness is not material things, including beds. If you allow children to continue being selfish, they will be very unhappy adults.
Children also don't understand that most friends come and go, but family will always be there. They think their friends in 5th gr or 9th gr will be there for them always, rarely happens. I keep in touch with cousins, second cousins, and their children, I do not see anyone from High school or grade school.

I doubt any guests would want my kids' beds -- only my oldest is potty trained, and not 100% at night.

We are fortunate enough to have a dedicated guest room, and a huge family room with doors that close off, so we can comfortably sleep 4 adults without putting the kids out of their beds.

My Mom's brother and his family lived 7 hours away from us. When they would come my brother and I would give up our beds. We loved it! My parents home is small and one Christmas we had 26 people for Christmas most of them staying there. We had every bed and floor space FULL! It was an adventure I would never have missed. We gave up our bed and it never made us feel put out or anything else. It didn't hurt our self-esteme, it didn't scare us, it didn't do any harm but did teach us to think about others, to role with things and to appreciate our friends and family while they were there. I am looking forward to teaching our children the same thing by "kicking" them out of their beds for a short time to host family. Family and friends are priceless and I would trade my bed any day to have them near by if only for some time!

I don't make my kids give up their beds. When my nephews have spent the night, all the kids "camped out" in the living room. When just one stayed, he and my daughter each slept on a separate couch. My BIL spent the night, he slept on the couch (even though my son's room was empty since he was away...BIL was told he could sleep in son's room but he chose not to).

I personally think if we allow or invite someone to stay with us, we shouldn't ask our kids to give up their beds if we aren't willing to give up ours.

I agree. I don't like the idea of uprooting them from the only space that they get to call their own and forcing them to just give it over to someone they probably aren't thrilled about seeing in the first place. It feels like such a violation of privacy and, just, personal space to have your space commandeered like that. I don't think that it teaches any kind of tolerance and selflessness. I think that it teaches kids that people in authority will snatch away your comfort and stability just because they can.

My parents would have someone in my room WITH ME and someone in my brother's room WITH HIM. We also had a study that could be used for couples who were willing to sleep on the floor.

The closest my parents have done was me having to sleep with the guest. I've shared my bed with my aunt, cousin, grandma, and a friend. The friend was the worst to sleep with, because she slept on the diagonal...couldn't sleep all night. After that...When ever my friends stayed the night, we used to camp out in the livingroom instead. What I used to hate was the separate table for kids. Teenagers and adults got to eat together. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, since I wasn't invited to the dinner table so I've always made a point at my house to create a larger table so everyone comes to the table to eat. It's best for children and adults to interact together, so the children get a more diverse base of social skills.

Never would I have my child give up thier bed. I would nto give mine up either. Go to a Motel or Hotel.

Did I miss the whole post or something?? Reading down it looks like I did.