I'm Being Pee'd on All the Time!! HELP!!!!!!!

I hate to say this, but shes not really potty trained. Kids aren't potty trained until they can go without accidents and without being reminded. Most kids who are "trained" too early regress. That's really all that is happening, it is so common. You can try rewards, but until she is ready and it is meaningful to her, you'll have to contend with accidents and reminders. Since she has come this far, I would put her back into pull ups, (unless you don't mind the clean up) and let her know when she wants to try the pretty underpants to let you know.
Don't get too frustrated, she is still little.

Don't make a big deal out of it when she has an accident. Just clean it up and move on. Also, don't make a big deal out of it when she goes potty.It could be more about control or she just might not be quite ready. You could alos just gently remind every couple hours to go potty. Say something like, " Oh before we play with the doll let's try going potty." If she doesn't want to go potty don't force her. It will only make matters worse. My daughter would actually tell me she was going to pee on my rug and then walk into the living room and pee! Now that she's 18 it is a fun story to tell. At the time it was frustrating though. The thing to remember is she will not be walking down her wedding aisle in a diaper. She will get all the way potty trained eventually.

Hi K.,

I posted about this same issue with my daughter when she was three. Maybe some of my replies will help you. I still to this day never completely figured out why she kept having accidents, however, they have stopped since my post. I did try every technique such as being firm, or offering rewards if she had an accident free day and nothing really seemed to work. I think she just kind of out grew it and was something she had to go through.

I just kept reminding her that whatever's stopping her from taking a potty break will still be there when she gets back. She now realizes that and doesn't have a problem taking a potty break.

http://www.mamasource.com/request/10977614202209828865

Good Luck!

I think your best bet might be to focus on positive reinforcement of the successes. If you think it is deliberate, it might be that she is noticing she gets more of your attention (it's not that you're not giving her enough - it's just that she wants ALL of it, regardless) when she makes a mistake than when she succeeds. I would set up a sticker chart and once she reaches a certain amount of stickers she gets a small toy or reward. Then slowly up the odds to include no accidents and more stickers for each small toy after that. Eventually, get her up to going for a full two weeks or so without any accidents and declare her completely potty trained! Make a big deal out of it - throw her a mini-party and give her a bigger reward of some kind - something she'd really love.

The following book has all the best ideas, in my opinion, and we've adapted from it:

http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child-Just/dp/B001...

We did the full-day potty training with our son and it worked. We're taking a slower approach right now with our daughter, but using some similar techniques in the process.

Good Luck!

Make potty time a routine. Tell her calmly and matter-of-fact to go to the bathroom 30 minutes after each meal, for example. I still tell my two boys (4 and 8) to go to try to go the bathroom before we leave for anywhere in the car. They often protest, but more often than not they pee.

Every child is different, so some might pick up on it later than others.

When my boys would have "accidents" (I don't think it was an accident :)) I would make them clean it up. Of course I would go back and clean it up the right way later, but as they did it, I would emphasize how gross it is when someone pees on the floor (or poops in their underwear). I think they each only had to clean up once or twice before they realized "this is gross!" and they stopped. If she still continues to have several accidents a day, though, she's probably just not quite ready. Relax for a while and try again in a month or two.

My feedback is just the opposite of what some of the other moms are saying. I think that when kids figure this stuff out (whether they are fully conscious of it is another issue) the thing to do is be totally neutral about it. I would not reward beyond the "good job" pat on the head type thing, nor would I punish her or make her clean it up herself. I think children notice when parents are over-invested in potty training and from my experience these are always the children that have issues with it. She senses that you are "p'd off" about it and is either, uncomfortable and feels pressure, or possibly showing her displeasure with you, the situation, whatever. Either way, you have let her have a kind of power by YOUR REACTION. However, this is a very basic needs type of thing, and you do not want her to have issues with it. Therefore, clean it up, don't be angry and let her see that you are not worried or bothered by it, and no shaming. You're a mom and she is a 3 yr old. Believe me, she wants to be clean and nice, unless there is a possible physical problem, which it doesn't sound like.

Please don't put her in time out for having an accident. It may seem to you that she is doing it intentionally but she is Potty "training" she is still just a little girl and that's the kind of stuff that happens when they are potty training. She is still 2 years old, she is very young to expect her not to have any accidents. Just try to keep things on a positive note and give lots of praise and treats when she stays dry. Sounds like you are letting things stress you out. Remember she is in training and she is only 2. If you start making a big deal out of things it will become a problem. Don't expect her to act older than she is. Many people don't try potty training till the child is 3. A friend of mine just potty trained her daughter and she was feeling like you are...well she took some time off and just focused on being positive and working for a week on taking her daughter every 1/2 hour to sit on the potty and read books together and her daughter got over the difficult time they were having. But her daughter was 3 not 2. Good luck, I know these trials seem like they will never end but you will turn around and in no time be putting her on the bus for kindergarten. On another note, don't go on the expensive vacation. My husband and I have been very frugal all our marriage and we feel rich now even tho he didn't make much money when we first got married. Save 10% and be the smart one, most people blow everything they get and then have nothing in their older years. I have 4 children, 19, 16, 14 year old sons and a daughter 12. They grow up so fast. Since we try to be frugal we have been able to take some awesome trips with our kids and by ourselves now. We took them to Hawaii, New York, Boston, Washington DC, Disney World several times and many other places. My husband and I have taken some amazing trips too...but not when we were young. My favorite was Australia. God bless you!!

I had a similar problem with my son last year. He had the peeing completely under control but would poop in his underwear a couple of times a week. Any kind of attention, positive or negative, seemed to make it worse. It wasn't until I seriously just did not react at all, just cleaned him up and sent him on his way without a "great job" when he made it to the potty or a "why did this happen" when he didn't that he finally got it under control. I have no idea if this would work with anyone else, but it was the only thing that worked with my little guy. Good luck! I know this is a major pain. Just remember, it is temporary. Eventually, you WILL be able to look back and barely remember it happening!

I feel your pain! My 3 1/2 year old was in your daughter's shoes a couple of months ago. I would have to agree that kids are not usually potty trained until they haven't had ANY accidents for weeks. She is not regressing, rather developmentally what she is doing is totally completely normal. Its hard for us adults to put up with it but keep in mind, she is not even 3 so she still most likely has a while to go. I would just hang in there and be patient. She'll get to it on her terms, not yours. Also, at night, I would totally put her in a pull-up so she can go if she gets up (by her self) but also won't leak through the whole bed. I have done that with our daughter and it works magic.

You could get her really NICE pretty undies and make a big deal about how you don't want "gross" pee in the NICE underwear.

Sometimes accidents happen. My 7-year old still pees her pants because she's too lazy to quit playing and go to the bathroom.

I agree, the bigger deal you make out of it the bigger deal it will become to her and the worse she'll get.

Good luck!

Before you do anything else, make sure she doesnt have a urinary tract infection. After checking that out, I'd look into stress related issues, what is happening before the peeing event? With you going back to work, look and see if the peeing is a way of regressing back to a younger age.

Good luck!

Three words on what works best: routine, routine, routine. Princesses, stickers, panties, books, candy...none of them helped. They might work for some children but they didn't with mine. Remember also that their little bodies and bladders are still developing. She may still have a ways to go before she's physically able to master bladder control.

My daughter just turned four and she still has a lot of accidents. She goes through really good stretches of using the potty, but then she'll go through periods of peeing on herself even though we just went to the toilet. It's very frustrating. I finally had to adopt the attitude that each time she pees in the toilet is its own success, rather than expecting her to be trained all at once. She is also still in pull-ups at night. Not ideal, but judging from how saturated they are when she gets up, she's definitely not ready.

Good luck!

You mention using time outs. Timeouts were first devised as a way to train pigeons - timeout from positive reinforcement and they can have a variety of negative effects with a child including putting distance between you and your child. If you use it just as a calming really more like a time in, then that is okay but other timeouts can result in a variety of negative behaviors. It sounds like your little one is asking for more time in. There are several good books on this topic eg. Smart love by martha heineman pieper and william pieper, unconditional parenting by alfie kohn and positive discipline by jane nielsen. I suggest that you sort of float these accidents out into the ether. Don't worry about them and don't make a big deal about them. But try to see when they happen and look for ways to destress your little one.

Get her on the potty every time she drinks or sips anything. Give her a treat ( bite of graham cracker) each time she tinkles or poops making sure your enthusiam is showing each time. If she pees on purpose, stand her in a corner and make her stay in the wet clothes for a while..she can't like that, it's getting too cold to be in wet pants. Or, maybe she would like to be back in baby diapers all day long not big girl panties. You have to let them know when they're bad and good. Best of luck and happy holidays.