I'm I Crazy?

Nope not crazy , it's called mom brain. You're tired it comes along with it.
I've got a 5 yr old and an 8 yr old and I still sometimes have mom brain.

It sounds like it could be a normal response of an exhausted person with a new baby, who wants to be with her baby instead of being at work.

Also, you may have tendencies towards anxiety and panic attacks, which can be exacerbated by stress and exhaustion. When my kids were little, I had bouts of anxiety and occasional panic attacks, and even went through of few months of hypochondria one time, where I thought I was dying of this or that type of cancer.

I can remember worrying about where I had left the baby a couple of times.

Now that my kids are all almost grown, and life is much easier, I don't have any of that any more.

There is a reason for the standard/traditional "6 week" healing period where most moms take maternity leave...you are describing part of that reason to a tee. You're not crazy, but your body IS going through huge hormonal surges right now, and has just been through a MAJOR physical event. See your doctor, then go home and let your body heal. Best wishes!

I call it "mommy brain". I've read studies that say there is no such thing but I have experienced it so I know it really happened to me. It didn't happen w/ my son (I was 35) but with the birth of my daughter (I was 38) - it was crazy. I am a bright person w/ a quick wit but I could not make connections with things - my husband had to tell me things that I should have figured out for myself - I couldn't recall numbers. To look at a credit card number and then type it in the computer was a big deal b/c I couldn't recall the series of numbers! I started taking gingko biloba. Did it help? I don't know, but I did get better and now at 43 I am back to "normal". ha ha Do ask your doctor but if they dismiss you - keep asking other moms for remedies. It is real and it's no fun but I think it's pretty common. I breastfed mine too and it makes you feel totally crummy to have to drop them off at daycare w/ virtual strangers. Hang in there mom... This too shall pass! :-)

I think that you are right to go to your doctor and verify everything, but don't panic. I don't have a history of depression, and didn't have postpartum, but was soooo absent minded. It is called Mommy-brain. I felt it the whole time I nursed, my son was just sucking the brain right out of me. :) Plus, you are distracted with this being your first week away...I don't think I accomplished anything those first few weeks, but they did get better!

Also, remember that you are trying to get into new routines. Like dropping the baby off. Just get in the habit of checking the carseat when you get out of the car. I still do that and my son is 22 months.

I am bi-polar and understand your concerns and experiences with depression. It sounds like you need to have your medication(s) re-evaluated and adjusted. If you are taking the same medication as you did earlier it might not be working because of your hormone levels. You don't say if you are seeing a PCP or a Psychiatrist. I'd suggest the psychiatrist, they specialize in mental issues where PCP's don't. I was under the care of my PCP for depression for 3 years and it was only after trying to harm myself that he referred me to a psychiatrist. That's who I see now and am stable and correctly diagnosed. Plus, I would suggest you see a therapist. You need to talk out some of these issues...I see mine every 3 weeks and it's extremely helpful.

Good luck...maybe it's not the right time for you to work...you might need to put that on hold until you get your depression and other symptoms under control.

Blessings,
W.

I would recommend, if you and your husband can agree on it, to either cut working down to part time or just stay home. Some people may send you advice about how you need to get over it and try to find a new medication or see a therapist to keep up your working so you can be a "super working mom" but I am of the thinking that staying home or working just part time, at least until school age, 4 or 5, is the best plan for mother and child. The fact that you're breastfeeding is also a HUGE factor because your body is craving the physical closeness of your baby. There's nothing better for you and your little ones then to spend more time and energy on them because they will reward you more than any job. You won't be failing or taking the easy way out if you choose to spend you're days breastfeeding your baby and being more available mentally and physically for your older child. You will be doing the right thing by following your natural instincts to be close to your baby.

You are going through a transitional stage. Don't worry; it will get better.

Your hormones and sleep deprivation from night feedings, play a big part to your "momnesia". I remember when I was in the hospital after having my first child, I thought one of the nurses was going to steal my baby. And when my second was about a week old, I was emotional because my hanging buddy (my then 18 month old son) had a new buddy: his dad. Hormones can make you think you are crazy.

Even now I still have momnesia because of lack of sleep, pre-menopause and PMS. We women endure a lot, but our little ones make it all worth it. Try not to make any hasty decisions right now and seek advice from family and friends.

About your job. How did you feel about it right BEFORE you were pregnant? If you loved it, maybe you should give it a little more time to see if your feelings change. And like one mom said, maybe you should give it another month or two, as well as talk to close family and friends about your feelings. If your feelings don't change, then see if you can make the transistion to stay-at-home mom.

Best of luck to you, and please let us know what you decide.

L.
Little-Safe-One.com

Well, I am a full-time working mom. My first reaction after reading your post is that, right now, you should recognize 1.) your body is going through hormonal changes and 2.) you are undoubtedly sleep deprived... Both of which will impact your judgement, memory and decision making. Its ok to recognize that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed from juggling work, marriage and baby. During your maternity leave, you've devoted all your time and efforts to taking care of your baby--its what you know, its what your comfortable with. Going back to work has taken you out of your comfort zone.

Try to avoid making any knee-jerk decisions. If you can stick with your job for the next 8-10 weeks, you're perspective may change--especially after the initial adjustment of going back to work has passed. My advice is to give it a little time. You may find that you value having 8 hours to be the "old you", to have adult conversations, to go to lunch with coworkers, to think about something else besides mommy duties, to have a reason to get dressed in something other than sweats and a ponytail...

There are a number of reasons that I am glad I stayed working. For me, it helped my patience level to be able to get a way for a while. It also helps my marriage, because I have other experiences and topics that I can discuss and share with my husband; it helps to keep out relationship from getting stale and one-sided.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think you need to go to the doctor and let her know what is going on. Sounds like your medication needs to be adjusted.

It is normal to be slightly distracted when you go back to work, but having panic and anxiety and not able to remember dropping off baby, is a sign that you need to seek some help. You know what depression feels like. You need to be at your best, so go to the doctor as soon as they can see you.

I am sending you strength. I know you will be fine. Take each moment at a time. Write things down to reassure yourself that you heard what was said.

I feel 'ya, sister!!!
And, I wasn't able to breastfeed, nor do I have depression. And, I've been back to work since September!!! LOL
I am forgetting important things (even stuff "ingrained" into memory). And I am so missing my baby! I feel that my place is at home with him. I was able to stay at home for two years with my other two (now teen-aged) children. Friends tell me that it is probably stress-related. I do have WAY too much going on, but it can't be helped at this point. Maybe things will change soon. Until then, I guess I'm doomed to be "crazy". (Of course, my story is that I still have "pregnancy brain"....and I'm sticking to it!) LOL
Good luck with yours.

Actually there have been studies that show that having a baby uses up a lot if the omega 3 fatty acids in our brain. These help our brain process things including pulling things out of our memory. It can take up to a year to get the brain working right again. Combined with all the other things the moms mentioned, like lack of sleep and hormones, your brain is a mess! Just one more thing pregnancy has done to you. . .
Give yourself a break - this is very normal. Time and rest could definietly help. Although I also think seeing a psychitrist in your case could be really helpful withyour history.

OK other posters... give this mom a BREAK already:)

I went back to work fulltime 12 weeks after both my children, and "mommy brain" exists -- put ANYONE on new mom's schedule and see what happens:)

http://www.thecradle.com/askcarley/new-mom-forgetfulness

Forgetfulness = your brain not resting. Postpartum = hormones shedding. Truely like comparing apples and bananas.. and I ate both:) Forgetfullness was sweetly bitter, like apples can be; and postpartum was mushy and slippery... bananas for sure:)

Give yourself 2-3 weeks like with any new schedule, including workouts, to make more a routine -- be gentle to yourself, forgive yourself for all those crazy feelings and "new" mistakes. Self affirmations really helped me -- I would allow myself "cry time" in my car a little each day, then I would "talk myself up" like any professional athlete:) By allowing myself to experience the sadness, I could move on with all the aspects of my life. (Doing this as taught me it's valid in all feelings and situations.)

Personally, my working has kept me sane and made me a better mom -- I spend more time with my kids actively than stay-at-home moms do statistically. I have the "grass is greener" syndrome about everything, but I try to think "would I be happier in 1 month/1 year/10 years?" to test my thoughts and feelings.

Breastfeeding both children allowed me to work while offering something "no one in the Village" could give my children. Allowing time to pump and put my entire heart and head into thinking of my babies helped a lot to break up the day into deal-able chunks. When I got home, it really allowed close-time and kept things on an even keel during those first 15 months.

Good luck with all this -- I KNOW everything will work itself out for your happiness!

Honestly, it sounds like you might have some post partum psychosis. Not anything to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Some confusion is certainly normal--we are stretched a little thin with a new baby and going back to work--but it would probably be a good idea to talk to your psychiatrist or Ob about it.

I think if you can not work, then you should do it. There is no one better to watch your baby than you, and maybe how you're feeling is your body's way of telling you that.
Money may be tough if you decide to stay home, but it's so worth it for the first year.
Good luck, and remember we mommas are out here supporting you. :)

Double check with your doc, but probably, almost for sure...ain't it crazy what lack of sleep will do to you? :) Cops say it's like driving drunk, and after having my daughter, I could see why. All sorts of crazy things happened in those first few months, getting in the shower forgetting I hadn't got undressed yet, keys locked in the car, forgetting where I was going half to whereever it was, and having to pull over and THINK...It does get better once you get some sleep. Try pumping and having dad, or a friend, get the 2am feeding, if you can. Even once or twice a week of six hours of uninterrupted sleep will make a different.