I'm over It.

If it were me, I'd sneak out w/my blanket and a good book before anyone sees me and plant myself behind some lady's big beach umbrella a mile or so down the beach where noone can find me.

Rachael - I think the best you can do now is learn from this experience. You posted that you didn't want to go, that it was going to be a hassle for you and for your husband, and that your mom wasn't any help and not much fun to be around. And then your son broke his knee and you knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy the beach and it would make your life harder. But you went anyway. And now you're having the crappy time that you predicted.

So... maybe next time... trust your own instincts and don't go. It's hard to stand up to the people in our lives and make decisions that are good for US and not just THEM, but sometimes you have to. Good luck to you for the remainder of the days at the beach!

Okay - Pity party time is OVER!!!! :) HUGS!!!! HUGS!!! HUGS!!!

Take control today - give everyone a chore or a thing to do and a time table and tell them that YOU WILL get to relax today or NO ONE and I mean NO ONE will be happy.

STOP cooking!! STOP cleaning!!! Let someone else do it!!! if someone says - hey it's lunch time - ask what they are fixing!!! STOP DOING IT!!!!

I know you are like me and want to make sure everyone else is comfortable and having fun and YOU get left in the dust...well, I've had to stand up and tell people - TOO FARKING BAD!!! This is MY vacation too...I WANT and DESERVE to have fun...

SO STOP DOING IT!!!!

I'd be pissed at my aunt for not changing Roman instead of coming in and telling you "he stinks" - my answer would've been - SO CHANGE HIM!!! You have two hands!!! is it snippy - yeah - but as long as you let people walk all over you - they will!!!

Go out to the beach and watch for dolphins. If someone says "it's breakfast time" say - GREAT!! where are we going or what did YOU fix!!!?

DO NOT CLEAN!! DO NOT PACK!!! STOP AND DO FOR YOU!!!!

HUGS!! HUGS!!! HUGS!!!

Why didn't your Aunt just change Roman? Maybe she thinks you would rather handle? When people have personalites like yourself (and me), people see them doing EVERYTHING and doing it well, so they assume we would rather handle EVERYTHING that comes up. Just ASK FOR HELP!!! They will help you.

I remember having a similar convo with my husband. I asked him why people don't seem to help me the way others get helped. He said he honestly believes it is because I always seem "completely put together" and not in need of any assistance. Between working, three kids, a household, and the balancing act I do, he says people on the outside think "Oh, she has it completely under control". And therefore, don't offer help. I have to ASK or I get none! You do too!! You are the same way!

Stop doing so much, take a step back, and realize how much you WILL REGRET it if you don't have at least a little bit of a good time while you are there. You cannot change anyone else but you - SO DO IT. Stop doing so much, START asking for help, and talk to your husband about it. I promise, he just doesn't realize how stressed you are. Tell him.

**After your SWH - Sounds to me like I wouldn't be vacationing with these people ever again in the future. Maybe it is in the WAY you are asking? I don't know! UGH!!

Lee - I so knew you would fit into that category! And I love your percentage.

OK, here is something I reserve for only the most serious of times. It is a "in case of emergency, break glass" type of tactic. I have an orchestrated meltdown and run out - seriously - please don't judge - LOL!
I simply had to wait for all the "said" family members to be present then allow something very innocuous (spilled drink, someone asking me to change a diaper, etc) and then I'd melt aka cry and maybe rant a bit (but not hysterically) and then hand the baby/toddler to someone and run/storm out the door. I typically ran (litterally, I had my running clothes on and went for a run) on the beach or to the pool farthest away on the property and would come back two to three hours later apologize and explain how i was at my wits end and then I went back to vaca.
NOW with my family it results in them saying sorry and remembering how hard it is to be a mom, etc. Not sure how it will go with your family. . . .
I have only done this two times in the almost 22 vacations/holiday's I have spent with our extended family - but sometimes you just need to get away and If I have to pull the crazy card to do it, by golly, I will.
Good luck and please don't think too badly of me:)

Assign chores for people.
Either they do them or it doesn't get done.
Do for your kids but not for anyone else.
This is why I go to hotels on vacation.
There's no way for me to cook or clean dishes (we eat every meal out), someone else makes the beds, cleans the bathroom and I make sure there's a pool to enjoy.
Get your work done, then pack up yourself and the kids and get out of there before the bleeping hurricane is on top of you.
We're battening down our hatches and every weather report I hear is freaking me out more than the one before it.
My husband wants me to take pictures of the house inside and out so we can show before/after pictures to the insurance company if we need to.
We shouldn't have to evacuate, but I'm having some bags packed and ready just in case.
Additional:
My response to them would be "Bummer, Dude. Guess I'm a jerk - but I'm ok with that. Deal with it and make your own bleeping breakfast/lunch/dinner.".
Oh well.
It's the last day.
Declare your emancipation proclamation, you're on strike and you are not lifting a finger for anyone except your kids.
They can be mad if they want to - who cares?

Honestly let the place become a mess, make sandwhiches in the morning stick them in the fridge. Pack one for yourself, hand the baby to the dad and say baby wanted you. Then take a blanket towel , lawnchaire or something walk down to the water edge and just close your eyes and soak in the sun. If the someone comes with the baby and says baby needs changed. Hi i'm sorry i'm just trying to get some quiet me time mind handing it to the dad or even better to your mom. If she wants the responsibility of parenting let her do it. And if anyone asks for anything sandwhiches are in teh fridge and if someone gets pissy. Say I'm sorry I need a few hours to my self to relax. If you have to take a walk down the beach away from them

Go for a very long walk today. Take a bottle of water and throw a few dollars in your pocket. Stop for an ice cream and stroll back. Don't apologize, don't feel sorry that you got ice cream and they didn't and don't rush yourself.

I know this feeling well- we go on vacation and my husband and son have a blast- meanwhile I'm the one getting up with the munchkin at 6:30 every morning, making sure everyone eats, has enough fluids, sunscreen... not relaxing at all. The only thing that actually helped was telling my husband point-blank that it wasn't relaxing. I wasn't enjoying the time with MY family (sisters, parents, etc) and that I WAS sleeping-in the next morning and then going out to breakfast with my sisters. He could figure out the morning himself.

He honestly didn't realize!

First of all, my husband would know EXACTLY how I am feeling, and he WOULD help me out.

Secondly, I totally agree with Scarlett. I'd say I fit in that category also. When one seems to have things under control and all put together, people don't think there is a need - or desire - for help. I see that you seem to have asked in some way for help, and they aren't receptive to it, so that sucks. But in general, I know that if I need help, I HAVE to ASK. Otherwise, people assume I have things under control (because 98.75% of the time, I do.) It's a curse, I tell ya!

As I recall from your post a few weeks ago with this whole vacation thing with your mom arose you were hesitant about going at all. Now you know why, lol.
Chalk it up to experience. Step outside of yourself Rach and let the kids enjoy whats left of your possible hurricane-ish vacation. Don't be a stick in the mud.
Just dont go next year.... try to remember the pain :)

I always say you need a vacation from the vacation and this is sounding to be true for you today as well.
Tell the mom, hubby the aunt and kids you are taking 30 minutes and go for a walk. You need a time out for yourself and if you cant take care of yourself, you cant take care of others.....I know its hard and you have a zillion things to do...JUST DO IT ;-) tell them your on strike for lunch and they can fend for themselves...trust me they will find something if they are hungry...well Roman may need help BUT im hoping your hubby brought his instructions on "how to make a sandwich" as a reminder ;-)

peace~ hugs~ and fresh air will do wonders for the soul!

Pack a bag for yourself and just go for a walk. Let the family know you will be back at the end of the day. Enough said.

Run away from home girl, seriously RUN FROM THERE and get the break you need.

Your husband should help. My MIL helps. My mom would help, but she never saw any of her grandkids. (A Quack perscribed the wrong dosage.)

I would take care of your little one with the cast, and tell your husband he gets the others. Try and leave your work alone for one day and do your best to enjoy. If someone wants something to eat other than your little one in the cast tell them where the kitchen and phone book are. If your other little ones want something to eat, "Ask dad". If there is a spill or a mess, "Ask dad". If the baby needs changing, "Ask Dad." If your mom says the baby stinks, "Oh, thank you so much for changing him. I really appreciate that. You're such a good grandma."

I could go on, but you get the point. If you don't put off your work and your work destroys your vacation, go to the mirror in the bathroom. Point to the mirror and say, "Its you're fault for letting work destroy my vacation."

Good luck to you and yours.

{{{{HUGS}}} R.!

I know how you feel. You aren't on vacation, but everyone else is.

All I can say is that you need to speak up. If you need help, tell people what you want them to do. If you want some alone time - just take it. Don't ask for permission. Tell your husband that you need some time to yourself or the police will find you covered with blood and gore, walking barefoot on the road with a dazed look on your face.

Ask one of your kids to make lunches, the younger the better. That will teach um!

Ohh even better do you have a dramatic one? Ya know so they make a crappy lunch and then "notices" the reaction. Then then burst into tears, but I just wanted to give mommy the day off. She has soooooo much stress and no one seemed to care. I don't want my mommy to die!!!!!!

*wales*

Yup, that would really teach um. :p

.

Awwww...{{{hugs}}}} anyway did you ask for any help while you've been gone? Speak up as you should be able to enjoy yourself too. Since this is the last day. Tell your husband he's in charge and you need a break...and then go and have some time to yourself :)

oh no!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE times like that.
Sometimes, I tell my b/f that "i quit" and I say I'm running away and he can be the mommy. Obviously I'm not REALLY running away. Just sometimes I feel like I want the other side of the job. I want to be the one who gets to sit around and relax. I want to NOT have to cook, clean, watch kids etc for ONE DAY...

::hugs:: I wish I could help you!

Yes you are so over it and it will be @#*31 when you all get together again for a vacation of any kind.

Take some time today and go away. Let them figure out what is where and fix it. You are on vacation and you will be on vacation today and every other day if this doesn't settle out. Auntie and Momma can fend for themselves. You are not a MAID or ROOM SERVICE. Go find a nice spot on the beach away from them and relax and enjoy the waves breaking and crashing into the sand. Go feel the water spray on your face and enjoy the smell of the salt air and the sounds. Look out over the horizon at the sky, take a deep breath, feel the wind blowing your hair all over and forget about everything else and peaceful. Take time to recharge your batteries before you explode on them as one said with a crazed look on your face and blood on your body.

May you find a way to enjoy a few hours of quietness to yourself with no one calling and hanging and bugging you today.

The other S.

Maybe you needed to actually experience this "vacation" so that you can use it as a defense for not going on future family "vacations". From what I remember, you were hesitant to go on this "vacation". Your gut was right, you didn't get to relax at all. Never ignore your gut again. Hugs, I'm sorry it ended up how you thought it would.

Stop cooking.... just do what you HAVE TO. When they ask what is for dinner - ask THEM "what are YOU cooking?" Sorry you are going through this and not at all enjoying your vacation.

Have a talk with your husband, let him know how you feel. Maybe he'll help out some.

Tell them what you've written here and let them know that if they're not willing to help with the kids and take care of their own eating, then there will be no more vacations together. Tell your husband from now on that when you two go on vacation, you schedule every other night -he gets the kids in bed and sleeps in one night and you do it the next -this includes getting up with the kids in the middle of the night! Sorry your mother won't even help you one night. That's sad. I wouldn't be travelling with her again!

Sorry but it's your fault too. Your allowing them to treat you that way. Tell them you'll see them for dinner, they can either make it themselves or you can all go out. Then walk away find a nice spot alone on the beach, a book, beverage, maybe some music and enjoy yourself. Why cry in your room when you have one more beautiful beach day?
You show people how to treat you. Show them you're not a door mat and they won't treat you like one.
Also it does get a lot better. With our girls now 9 & 12 we have awesome vacations. We do both kid and adult things, amusement park one day, museum the next. Everyone gets to pick activities, everyone helps out with the work and we go out to eat...a lot. That's what vacations are for right? Oh yeah and we leave the inlaws and relatives at home unless it's a family visit. It's our family vacation not theirs. If we do have outsider relatives they are there to both enjoy themselves AND help with the work!

LOL, oh BIG HUGS MAMA!!! That is exactly how all of my vacations are :) Even my weekends for that matter my hubby definately makes my 4th kid. Yet I do it anyway, I am spending all weekend in an RV with my own clan and my grandparents. I will be taking a long shower and a nap on tuesday when I send my hubby to work and kids back to school! I think my toddler and I will cuddle and chill all day! I will have earned it.

I think you should sit your husband down and lay into him. That would NOT be allowed on MY vacation. Sometimes, I let it go for a day, let him have his fun, but after that, it's time to set expectations. Oh, and it's fine to put your foot down with your mom and aunt too. They aren't cooking cleaning or anything either? I take it this is the last time to go on vacay with them! After a week of this, and you trying to de;egate and ask for help... I would probably throw a royal tantrum and ask why noone thinks you deserve to see the dolphins or relax on the beach. Then, I would simply stop cooking and cleaning.

I can sympathize with you R.. I was on vacation last week because my grandma and aunt flew into town to visit. They didn't stay at my house (they stayed at my mom's house) but they were at my house ALL THE TIME so they could spend time with my 5-year old daughter. I was doing all of the cooking and cleaning up. Not once did anyone offer to at least help with the dishes - and there were a lot. Also, because I was home all day and my husband was working, he felt like he didn't have to help out with anything in the evenings. On top of all this, we had to put our 11-year old dog to sleep, due to pancreatic cancer, a few days before family came and had to get our daughter ready to start kindergarten a few days after they left. I had such a headache and puffy eyes for most of the week from crying over my dog and crying about my baby starting kindergarten and I was just worn out. By the time my "vacation" was over I felt like I wanted to hide out completely by myself for a day or two. Unfortunately, I couldn't. The saying really is true ... when it rains, it pours.

This weekend I won't be able to rest much either because hubby is going out of town today and won't be back until Sunday. His family (his parents, 3 sisters, 2 of their husbands, 2 neices, 2 nephews, 1 great nephew, 1 nephew's significant other and possibly her 3 kids) invited us to the beach for labor day weekend but we had to decline because I just want to stay home and rest. I have found that vacations with extended family really aren't too restful at all. It exausts me sometimes just to be around my hubby's family for a few hours, let alone "live" with them for three days. Ugh!

Wow, so no one will help you out even when you ask. I would just blame the hurricane and pack my kids up and go home! What's the point of being there if you don't get to enjoy it? Sounds like the baby is pretty miserable anyhow. Sorry hon, you have some selfish people in your life!

Yup, I've been there before, when my kids were little and I was with my first husband. He never helped with anything and went so far as to say women were born knowing how to do things like change diapers. I had a ton of important work to do at one point as well and could not get anything done. So, I just decided I was going to go. I called a hotel, made a reservation for two nights, packed up my papers and typewriter (yes, I am of the generation who used typewriters, lol) and said I was leaving and left. I knew my husband knew the routine and did know how to do stuff, so it's not like I left my kids without recourse. I still remember my husband's sheepish voice asking me when I was coming back and if I was really going to stay gone two nights. I relaxed, ordered room service, swam in the pool, and got my work done. Then I went back home. The house was a wreck, but everyone survived, ate, were bathed, etc. It was worth it!

Ugh.
Good luck never going on vacation with "those people" again--they're your family! LOL
Do your work later online if you can.
Plan activity-bites throughout the day and work in between.
DELEGATE stuff to your husband!

End your pity-party! Vacations with kids are LIKE this. Even for me with O. 8 year old. Mom is down the list a bit, but if you're organized and positive it can still be a vacation. Have fun!

Aw I am so sorry! And with the bad weather coming - ugh! You were rightly stressed about doing this in the first place! I have learned that vacations are FAR from vacations with kiddo's along. When my hubby and I went away for two nights last March, it was the first time we had ever gotten a vacation away from home, kids, work, etc! It was SO nice. But I love being busy with my kids too. Sadly, I don't think moms get to vacation. Not saying it's right or I agree with it, but it's just the way it goes. Can hubby change a diaper? Can your mom/aunt make lunch? Can you take the kids and you go do your own thing??

We went to National Harbor in April and my hubby was completely non-existant then! We went knowing he would still go to work and the kids and I would be alone during the day, but he went all the way home to play softball one night, then got to the hotel late the next night and "relaxed" before he joined us for a family movie night. HA! The kids and I had SO much fun!! Check out the pics on my FB :). But the hubby missed out on 90% of it - his choice, his loss. Bet when we go again next month he won't be gone so much!

The end of my comment tells you what I think you should do today!!

When we vacation with family or friends it is planned way ahead of time who is in charge of which meal. We rotate amongst the families. You buy it...and cook it when it is your turn. Those that did not cook are the cleaner uppers.We have a communal snack area that everyone pitches grub into. That solves the kitchen slave situation.

Sounds like you may need to do pre planning next time. Talk about it with the vacationing group the rotation of meals and cleaning up. There is no way it should be all on your shoulders. And...next time just don't do it.(but with a cheery disposition) No one will pitch in if they know you will do it for them.

Trade off with your husband who is on diaper duty. Don't be afraid to say to "auntie...oh...let my husband know the baby is stinky..it is his round this time."

Sounds like your vacation has been stinky!! I am sorry. Sometimes they are more of a trip than a vacation...especially with young kiddos. It is a ton of work to travel with kids...and extended family.

You are exhausted, annoyed and frustrated....hold out and take a break when you get home. THere is a great movie coming out soon called "A Dolphin Tale". It looks soooo cute and uplifting. When it comes out tell your hubby you are going out all by yourself. Get the biggest bag of popcorn,treats and a soda and sit there alll by yourself, in peace and quiet and you will get to see "your" dolphin.

Good luck and best wishes during the remainder of your "vacation." Take some Tylenol with a Pepsi chaser and put your feet up.

Focus on yourself and the children. PERIOD! End of worry and misery!!!