Immense Saddnes

Anytime I see a question or topic related to a loss of a pet, I get very emotional. It's such a hard thing to go through, especially when it was a family pet, and had a long life with you. My beloved cat as with me from the time I was 6 til I was 19 years of age. It was very hard to say good bye to her. What helped me was to put together a memorial book. That way, I always had a reminder of her near me, and I could keep forever. Sending you a big hug right now.

Pets are like members of our family. They also keep us anchored with their love and acceptance when the human members of the family make us crazy!! I SO understand how you feel and am sorry for your loss. When we lost our cat, we cried for months -- years, really. I lost weight. I dreamed about him. Then I visualized him in my heart,with me always, and that helped.

Someone said, "If dogs don't go to heaven, when I die I want to go where they go". I think I'll have that engraved on my gravestone!!

It's also difficult when you're mourning your pet's death because unlike when humans die, the general community doesn't share your grief and console you. So find others like you, here, on-line, or friends who love their pets, to talk about this.

I am so sorry about this. I completely understand - our beloved dog died over a year ago, and we felt just the way you do. Crying all the time, a hole in our hearts. Ours was almost 14 and somehow very special - both my husband and I had dogs growing up, but this one was so special. Like you, we tried to rationaliz that she was no longer in pain, but that didn't take away the emotional pain. So it absolutely doesn't help for anyone to say she's in a better place. I completely get that. It also doesn't help for people to say, "Just go get another dog." So don't accept that from anyone.

I can tell you that you will laugh again at some point, and you will be able to talk about the wonderful memories or the funny things she did. But I would suggest that you go ahead and just let yourself feel the pain, acknowledge your sadness. I'm crying just writing this.

One thing my husband did that was really sweet was to have a pillow made with her picture on it. The pillow sits on our sofa, where she used to sit with us, and when I need to, I give it a big hug and have a good cry. I've also taken the pillow to bed with me if I'm having a tough night.

The true dog lovers in your life and at your work will understand that you are sad and will (hopefully) not make you fake your happiness. This is a devastating loss of a treasured family member, and it's not something you just "get over" in a short period of time. Your life has revolved around this wonderful dog, and there are a million reminders every day - you'll find yourself automatically going for the leash to walk her, or thinking it's time to feed her, or checking her water bowl, and so on.

You're not a cry-baby. You are a warm and loving person who has suffered a tragedy. You are in mourning. Let it happen, feel it, suffer through it. That's what happens when you are lucky enough to have been blessed to love an animal so much. I am so glad that you had this dog in your life for so long. That makes the pain so much greater though. Just give in to your feelings and let them happen. And write if you need support.

Penny::

I am sooo sorry for your loss!! We lost our dog, Obi, in Dec 2008 - he was 14.5 years old and my kids had NEVER known a day in their life without a dog...

it was a TRULY hard experience as I felt like I had lost a part of my family - and I did.....I made sure our last weekend with him was the best it could be - he woke up the day after Thanksgiving and smelled REALLY bad, he could barely move so we took him to the vet - they called us Saturday and said the results were cancer and it was REALLY BAD...we talked and decided that at his age there was no way to survive the treatments or surgery...the vet gave us "feel good medicine" - when it was active in his system he was a puppy again - the minute it started wearing off - well, it was bad....we took him to the park and played and took LOTS of pics...our memories of him are wonderful ones!!!

Keep your good memories of her close to your heart. You WILL get through it.

Losing a long time pet is just like losing a beloved family member. You are in mourning, give yourself time and a break. My dog has been gone now for about 7 years and I am tearing up now thinking about him! We love our pets and it is natural to be sad when we lose them. Take care of yourself and try to remember the happiness of your lives together.

Time heals all wounds.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of Heaven there is a place called Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then together, you and your special pet cross the Rainbow Bridge…

My heart goes out to you right now, there is no way around it, just through it. My pets are super important to me and my family, also. Just do your best to remember the fun you had with your dog. And imagine her/him playing up in heaven (I do not care how silly that sounds it helps me). I love to imagine my Grandma playing with my big dog and her toppling my Grandma over because she was so big and my Grandma was little 4"11, lol.

I understand. She was 15 yrs old... a HUGE part of your life and your family.

Our first Cocker died at 14 and I was beside myself. She was our first dog, we got her before we were "married" and before our daughter. She was our "baby".

YES, it is very hard to go about your normal business when your heart is broken. Many people do not understand but rest assured there are many mama's on this board who DO understand what you are going through.

I am so sorry. We currently have a 12 yr old Cocker sick and we know time will come for him within the next year or so. It is never easy.... no matter what anyone says.

Best wishes to you and I promise you will get better..... it will take some time. Take that time to grieve. You are normal.

Awww, I'm so sorry about your doggy. I have an 11 year old Golden who is on her way out. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be with us.

It's normal and healthy to be very very sad. It's part of the healing process to cry and mourn.

I hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

:)

I am so sorry.

We lost a beloved kitty a couple of weeks ago - he slept in my arms for over 10 years - I literally could not sleep the first few nights. I walk through a room and still "see" him out the corner of my eye, breaks my heart every day.

You have to allow yourself time to grieve, that is natural. She was with you for a long time, and intrinsic part of your life, you miss her. Give yourself time to remember her and come to terms with her being gone.

Find a picture of her that you love, buy a beautiful frame and put it in a place of honor in your home; plant a beautiful annual in your yard in memory of her; hold a memorial ceremony for your family and close friends. Talk about her - her habits and quirks, the funny things that she did.

Let your co-workers know that you are grieving right now - oh, not everyone will understand - but it may help them to understand why you are not "perky Penny" right now.

It is hard right now; it will get better - you will always miss her.

I find comfort in the following poem -my son and I read it together - I love the vision of happiness it creates for us. God Bless.
================
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.

Be glad you had such a nice friend. Its tough to loose a friend and I'm emotional like you and I have had a tough time when I've lost a real good dog.

Of the last two I lost, and I miss them both very much, the healing process began when I got another dog. The love I gave to my dogs found a place in my new dog. It helped me tremendously.

I went to a shelter with my family and they found a dog that was really friendly and liked to play with the kids. The dogs (the last two) wouldn't go near me. I feel they had been mistreated by men and neither dog would come to me or want to be around me. It took me and my family about 2 months to get the dogs to approach me and take food from me. Both dogs eventually became "Dad's dog."

My recommendation would be for you to get another dog to help with the healing process. I'd recommend getting a dog at least one year old so they are already grown and you know how they will react to you and not be a surprise as to how big they will grow.

Sorry about your loss. I feel your pain. Good luck to you and yours.

It's OK for you to be sad! That's a normal part of the grieving process.

It's a good thing to know that you gave your pet the final gift of kindness. You will know that down the road.

When I had to put our 16 yo Siberian Husky to sleep, I couldn't even stand to be in the house--it seemed so quiet. Very sad.

I know, I hate the platitudes people give when you mention a death in the family. WHO CARES!!! I wanna be selfish and I just want them back!!! It's okay and normal to grieve.

I am sad for you and your family.

My mother lost her beloved shih tzu 2 years ago. She was devastated (she was only 6) So I understand your sadness. Find comfort in prayer and grieve like you would for a "human" family member if you want, they are a part of the family too. (((hugs))) to you.

((((HUGS)))) We lost our Brutus 11 years ago. My kids still talk about him, My 13 yo still remembers him, kind of. My hubby cant' go near a black lab without petting it.

Losing a dog is losing a family member. Ours was 12.5. He was older than our oldest son.
When we get helium balloons from anywhere we send them up to Brutus, or Grandpa, Grandma, but the kids always include the dog.

Cry, cry until you can cry no more. Can you take today from work and do someting for yourself? Somtimes we just need to take a sick day to recoup.

Mourning is mourning and you have to go through it. If you werent sad there would be something wrong with you.
Your sadness will dissipate in time. Let the memories put a smile on your face when you think of her.
People that have never "loved" a pet dont understand how hard it is.
When you have opportunities to talk about it to someone that "gets it" it helps validate your emotional state and helps you to heal.
A friend of mine lost her minpin about a year ago, she still misses the heck out of him. She got another dog about 3 mos ago from the shelter, but ended up taking it back because she couldnt "connect".
I'm sorry :(

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You might try contacting some of the pet grief online support groups:
http://www.petloss.com/ (they have a message board, and online candle ceremonies to honor the lost).

http://rainbowsbridge.com/grief_support_center/grief_supp...
This one has one-on-one counseling and other supports available

another good one:
http://aplb.org/aplb/welcome.html

Part of the worst of it is that so many people are just lacking in empathy about how much our pets mean to us.

(((HUGS)))

I'm so sorry you are hurting :( You are not being a 'cry-baby' for having very real grief over a member of your family. Pets are awesome, non-judgmental little balls of blood-pressure-lowering-love and can be such a source of joy and peace. When we loose them we loose not only their companionship, but a major part of your daily routine and life.

Perhaps trying to channel that intense sadness into peaceful remembrance will help. I know this is far easier said than done, but it's worth trying. When that gut-punching grief gets at you when you think of her, try to remember what a great life she had (because you made that happen!). Remember that she was loved deeply (which is so much more than many animals get!) and that she had a long, full life. When that sadness gets to you at work or wherever, just close your eyes and take a deep breath. She was so lucky to have such an amazing owner and you had the great fortune of having an amazing companion.

Sadness is okay, it's good to let yourself grieve, but I know if your little doggie had anything to say about it she wouldn't want you torturing yourself. I hope your heart is lighter soon, I'm so sorry you are going though this. It's the end of a very sweet chapter in your life, but that also means you are in a new beginning.

Oh Penny, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. Last year we had to put my 16 year old kitty to sleep. She too had gotten sick. It was real tough in the beginning. Then when my husband picked up her ashes, I cried even harder. What really helped was when I received a memorial card in the mail from our local zoo. The vet had made a donation in her name and had her name engraved on a wall at the zoo. It really helped.

Take time to look at pictures and talk about her with people you know love animals. They will give you a shoulder to cry on. The memories will never fade, but in time your tears will slow.

Hugs!

I am so sorry for your loss!! I am teary now thinking of our own sweet puppy dog we lost five years ago. She was such a part of our family there is still a hole...we have not gotten another dog, as no one could possibly replace her.

The tears will stop eventually (and then come back from time to time), the hard ache in your chest will loosen bit by bit, you will put away her things when you are ready (save some of them for a while in a safe place)...just let yourself grieve.

Cry when you need to cry...sneak off to the restroom at work if you need to...it will take time...

Our cat stopped eating for two weeks when we lost our dog...she grieved too. She would just lay around and yowl...we thought she was sick...she was with grief. I had to force feed her after a few days...the vet showed me how...it really was a loss to the whole family.

Sending you a big HUG!!!

Your post has brought tears to my eyes. I can relate all too well. I had to put my dog down in 12/09. I was sick over it. He had been there through it all with me. He was the one I snuggled with when my mom died. He slept next to me in the bed every night and followed me whereever I went. I tried for a month to stop crying, but I couldn't. My solution was to get another one. I'm not telling you to do this, just sharing what I did for me. It has helped so much. It's not an instant fix, I had to bond with my new pup, but it did help! I still miss my little guy and still cry about him, but I definitely feel better. I hope you find a way to have peace from this, just know that everything you are feeling is normal and one day you will feel better when you are ready to. Sorry for you loss.....

I am so sorry. Last year one of yorkies darted out when my husband was pulling into the carport and he ran over her. I was outside and opened the door. We got her and another yorkie when we were struggling to get pregnant and she was my little shadow. She was 10. My husband and I were devastated. I blamed myself and could not stop crying. I couldn't sleep and had dreams about what happened. Last month we had to put our 13 yr old lab down. He was affectionately known as Old Man because he was 8 when we got him. The kids have really helped me get through his loss because they talk about him a lot and tell me he is playing in heaven with our yorkie. :) Staying busy during the day helps. The pillow idea is great and would probably help you sleep better. Many hugs!

Give yourself some time. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. It's really hard to lose a beloved pet. Allow yourself to cry and be sad.