My daughter will be having her tonsils removed in 2 weeks. She also just turned 4 years old. She is a typical kid and does not like shots or pain. She also has anxiety really bad. If I tell her she will be having shots at her next dr appt she freaks out and just looses it. I have learned to just wait till the appt and when the Dr. says she will have shots she seems to have less anxiety and does better receiving them.
So, I have already told her that she will be having surgery in a few weeks and tried to give her some background info, like your throat will hurt, but you will get to eat a ton of popsicles. With my son, he is the type that you need to remind him everyday b/c it makes the anxiety less b/c he knows what to expect (like going to the dentist... we talk about it and read about it and pretend play dentist and so forth and he does awesome). But she is definitely different then he is.
Would it be bad if I didn't remind her of her surgery and just the day of show up the the surgery center? Any suggestions to help ease this for her?
Thanks!
I would let it go and follow her lead. Now, my daughter would be reminding me because she remembers EVERYTHING.
Momma, she is your baby, you know best! If it causes her to worry, I would say, no, don't remind her.
I would not tell her until the day of, as long as you told her once and talked about it. My daughter had surgery and was very nervous about it and we didn't remind her everyday, just when she had to stop drinking and eating the night before.. but that said I think you could still read books about it and allow her to ask questions but be vague when she asks when it is- "soon but not right now so you don't have to worry about it" and maybe remind her of other things she worried about that turned out just fine..
Good luck!
My son received a pre-surgery packet from our hospital...& it helped prepare him for the surgery. Just a little booklet to color, but it really helped. Is this available for you? Oh, & we read a book from the library - possibly Berenstain Bears.
We also picked out a new stuffed animal....& we prepped the bunny for surgery. We made new jammies & even gave the bunny an IV ! The bunny went with us to the store to pick out the "special" foods for recovery....& to the hospital with us for surgery. When we arrived at the hospital, they had a new stuffed animal - a bunny no less - waiting for him. He truly believed that the bunnies were best friends waiting for each other.....& it was totally coincidental that we'd picked a bunny at home! & yes, 10 years later, we still have both bunnies. They're packed away in my keepsakes.
Oh, & my son helped pack the hospital bag. Snacks for Mom/Dad, a couple of fav books, a picture of big brother, & whole bunch of misc stuff. It really helped.....he even carried the bag into the hospital!
You know your children best. It sounds as though not reminding her is the best route, I don't see a problem with it.
My oldest is like this also.
You already know the answer. If it upsets her, no need to mention it everyday and buildup anxiety.
I had to do that to my daughter because she worried excessively. She had the problem of passing out and that feeling she got before it happened was worse than a shot or anything so we'd just wait until the day of... after having braces, she's pretty much better but still gets nervous.
My daughter worked herself up so bad over a routine doctor's appointment that she stopped eating and couldn't sleep. We ended up canceling and rescheduling for a month later. We didn't tell her about the reschedule and just informed her the day of that we were going. I felt mean, like I "tricked her" but she was only nervous for the 10 minutes it took to drive there. The appointment went fine, and she was fine during and after. We've decided this is the best route for her, and she wasn't upset for us not telling her at all. I actually think she appreciated not worrying about it!
My son had his tonsils out at age 3 at a surgery center and my daughter had hers out at age 2 at the hospital(because of her age). If the surgery center allows it ask if you can take a mini tour. My son LOVED this and it really helped with his anxiety the day of his surgery. They even gave him a ball and a chip clip with the center's name on it. I would not keep reminding her of the appointment other than the tour.
I would say that you know your DD best and if that is what will prevent her from stressing about it until it happens then yes I would keep it until the day of to tell/remind her that this is happening.
Good Luck
My son has always been like that about shots too--so I let the nurse or doc deliver the bad news on the day of the appointment. If he asks before I vaguely say "Hmmm...not sure you get any shots this year..."
If he were having his tonsils out, I would probably say something about 2 days before...then start chatting up the ice cream and jello.
I think springing that on the day OF might be a little overwhelming--but you know your daughter best.
Good luck!
My daughter is the same way and I do not remind her. I just take her on that day and if she asks I say oh remember you have an appointment today otherwise she worries, frets and acts out in school until after the appointment is over.
Best wishes
Will pray for the two of you :)
