L.,
It seems many have given you great advice and most believe that EVERY marriage is worth saving. I believe differently. My parents divorced, and I honestly don't feel I suffered b/c of it. My parents married young and grew apart. It happens to many people. They fought all the time. Our family was actually happier once they divorced. Of course, we missed our Dad, but we saw him every other weekend and eventually they both remarried and were both very happy. Had they stayed together, I'm not sure what would have happened, but I don't necessarily believe it would have been a "happy" household. So, the question you should ask is not,"is this a marriage worth saving?"...you need to ask,"CAN this marriage be saved?". Unfortunately, only you can answer that question. If your husband is not willing to attend counseling with you,and you feel you've tried everything,..then your level of happiness greatly depends on how you react to the environment your in. You can fight it, adapt to it, ignore it, or just change your situation all together(ie:divorce).
Since none of us really know the whole story, I don't think any advice we'd give would be the "right" one. But when making your decision, weigh your options...in which scenario would you lose more? Would you lose more by leaving your marriage...or would you lose more by staying? Some people stay together when they shouldn't have...yet on the same token, there are others who give up too early. I suppose it depends on how long this has been going on and what degree of unhappiness is realistically felt between the 2 of you. A family is not happy simply because their parents are married...a family is hapy when the parents are happy. My best friend came from a family in which her parents were lovebirds their entire marriage...at 60, they are still insanely in love. My husband came from a family in which his parents are stll married,but miserable...and he hates going home. :/ He left the house when he was 16 and dreads going on holidays. My parents are divorced, and I love going to both their houses.
So...there really is no telling what you should do,L.. Only you know the answer. Of course, it couldnt hurt to read the books that others recommended and see if maybe something in there may help. Try a marriage class rather than "counseling". http://www.txcouplesworkshops.com
Also,your husband needs to get involved as well. A marriage is 2 people working at it,not one...you can't save it alone. Marriage is not supposed to be miserable..hard at times yes, but not miserable. It is insufficient to simply stay married for the children's sake,however it IS necessary to stay HAPPILY married for the children's sake.
Anyway,I hope everything works out and that you find your way to true happiness. Everyone deserves a little happiness in their life.
I leave you with these quotes for thought:
"For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life." -Joyce Brothers
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."- Theodore Hesburgh
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how
compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."-
Leo Tolstoy
"Remember, you married her, you didn't hire her!" - said to critical, lazy husband.
Dr Phil
"The success of marriage comes not in finding the "right" person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they later realize they married."- unknown
“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”- Helen Rowland