Is This Emasculating? to Help or Not to Help?

I offer help when I see someone struggling. Their reaction is their problem. I feel better having offered, they might feel or act like a jerk--but that's not really my problem, right?

I would be offended if a woman could help me change a tire!!

If I see someone struggling I do offer help/assistance. But I'm a guy - so yeah, it's easier for a guy to help another guy.

I would told the guy, let me show you have a short pregnant woman can do your job, that would've shown him!

Offer help the worse that can be said is no thank you. The best is that you become an angel for someone.

I normally don't stop because, yeah, they don't like to be helped. I stopped once cause the guy had placed the jack dead center on his back bumper. Okay there is no shame in reading your car's manual to find out where the manufacturer feels the jack needs to be.

Anyway I pulled over and offered to help. He said he had it under control. I said clearly you don't because your car is going to fall over when you jack that up, it goes here. Then I got in my car and drove away.

I don't think it is emasculating to ask, most guys don't react badly. The ones that do tend to have issues.

You're threatening to their manhood...let it go and just remember, they're probably not that secure within themselves. Their loss....

if its a man, first I check my surrounding, get a couple rocks in my pocket. Then I put on my "game face" if he truly looks like he is having trouble I will ask. I always read more, into it. Is he intoxicated? look like a "bad guy"? If I determine it would be safe to help I do ask if they need it. I never go anywhere with them, but offer to call. Now a days you have to be careful. With that said. I am 6' 1" and built like a pro line backer, so usually I scare most guys smaller than me. They take one look at me and think I am a Germanic war horse or something, and ask me to do impossible feats of nature. I once helped a young guy with a flat in the middle of no where. It was a route I took often, so I doubt he was trolling for dummies. I was looking at the car, and he says to me "if I could just lift that side a little, do you mind helping me" and gives me the head to toe look over. I raised an eyebrow and asked "dude you do know that a jack would be more efficient than me". He laughed and got super embarrassed. So here's me, fishing out a jack and tire iron and fixing the entire flat for him. He actually shoved 50 bucks in my purse that was on the hood, cause I used a nail file to pry off some gunk on a lug nut... call me MRS MC GUYVER thank you. I felt like a greasemonkey prostitute. I think he was highly emasculated, thankfully no one saw him right!!! eee gods. Its just their pride, and they have voice it loudly apparently... better than beating their chests like King Kong.

I'm 5'4, about 100 pounds. I'm deceiving, as well. I don't help anymore. I have helped 3 men with similar things, in my life. I helped a guy put the jack under his truck once, after he put a hole in his truck. He got a little huffy with me. The other two guys I've helped, shamelessly hit on me, and it was disgusting. It was like they thought my helping them was some kind of foreplay...blech!!!

I would have helped with the dog, because I LOVE dogs :)

Sorry but ego prevails, don't try helping. They will find it challenging to struggle or get another man to help, which sometimes that becomes a problem too, but much better than a woman

It IS a man thing. And yes, I think they receive the best intentions as you viewing them as "inadequate" somehow. Which is a sure way to tick of a man, lol.

Maybe if you preface your offer with something like "My DAD always told me ____" and give "Dad's" advice?

I quit trying to help my husband around the house a long time ago. It just causes hurt feelings and it isn't worth it. I have found that the best thing is for me to just walk away completely---to somewhere where I can't see what he is doing (or not doing, as the case may be).

i think if its an older person its ok to help.. but i know alot of men that would definatley take offense to it its like o0k this little girl is going to do something i cant do ..especially if its something "manly" like changing a tire or fixing something .. i guess it depends on the man

offer!
if he gets nasty with you, he's a jerk. and you don't have to offer advice or tell anyone they're doing it wrong (that does tend to put people's backs up). but a simple offer of help is lovely.
you're awesome for offering. especially with an older gentleman and a big woofly dog.
:) khairete
S.

I always try to help people too. I usually take the approach that four hands are better than two. I know that I can usually do it by myself but if I'm helpful instead of taking over I am generally received better.

It is a man thing. It is programed in their heads from birth that they should be doing certain things not women. I have to say though men are not as bad now as they were when I was younger. I think younger men are more likely to treat women more equally then the older ones.

If I think someone is struggling then I will ask if they need a hand.

Hi, R.:

As it has been stated. Ask them if they need help. If they refuse, it's okay.
Just stand there and talk to them.
Thanks for being helpful. Stand back and watch them. Enjoy what you witness.
D.

Sounds like you need to get to know your neighbor. You could have just walked over and be available if he asked for help. In the meantime it's an opportunity to chat a bit so that you will get to know each other.

I suggest that when you see someone may need help that you chat with them first to get a feel for their personality. A macho man will/may take offense. If people/men want help, they will ask you for it if you're there.

I offer. It is their choice not to take it.

Bottom line I'm better than allot of guys these days at allot of typically "guy" things. That and I'm frugal and don't wanna pay some other guy to do it when I can with a little help.

Either way...you're gonna have some good and bad responses. Life is always hit or miss no matter what they circumstance.

and YOU GO GIRL!!

Hope you have a great day!